From humble beginnings to the pinnacle of life

I always thought that Su Wan was born with such a hard and cold demeanor, as if no one and nothing could shake her emotions.

Only now do I fully understand that even the hardest shell hides a scar that refuses to heal.

After a long silence, she finally spoke softly, her voice hoarse: "It was him. He started from here back then."

I didn't say anything and just stood quietly to the side.

Forcing her to reveal these private thoughts that she's kept hidden for five years will only add to her burden.

If she's willing to talk, I'll just listen quietly.

At that moment, all my doubts were resolved.

I finally understand why she can remember every road condition and every weather hazard in the no-man's-land better than anyone else.

She finally understood why, despite her privileged background and the possibility of a stable life in the city, she insisted on venturing into this desolate wasteland where life and death were uncertain.

She never longed for the freedom of the wilderness; she simply harbored a deep-seated obsession.

I want to walk the path that the boy couldn't finish back then, and see for him the starry river in the Qiangtang region that he never got to see.

For five whole years, this regret was like a large net, trapping her in her memories.

Her insistence on going to this no-man's-land was ultimately just to give herself an explanation.

I didn't bother them any further.

The closer she got to the forbidden zone of life, the more intense her inner torment became, triggered by the sights and sounds.

The best option is to give her some time alone so she can slowly process the emotions that have been building up for so many years.

I turned and left the hall, but Su Wan was still standing in front of the message wall, unable to come back to her senses for a long time.

As darkness completely set in, the desolate wilderness outside the window plunged into boundless blackness, and a chill seeped in continuously through the window cracks, creating a desolate and oppressive atmosphere.

We had a simple dinner.

After nightfall, the hotel owner lit a bonfire in the courtyard.

The orange-red flames flickered and swayed, dispelling the chill of the plateau night.

The crackling sound of burning firewood became the only noise and warmth in the deathly still night of the desolate wilderness.

The night wind on the plateau is biting, chilling one to the bone.

This small campfire is the only remaining warmth in this desolate land.

I habitually look up at the starry sky.

Even after arriving in Shuanghu County, the internet was still down and there was no signal after nightfall.

I still keep my promise to Su Qing, and across mountains and rivers, we enjoy the same night sky together.

Even sending a simple message, wishing someone well, has become a luxury.

As I was gazing absentmindedly at the starry sky, Su Wan suddenly sat down next to me.

The flickering firelight reflected in her clear eyes, softening her cool profile.

I am not good with words, and she is aloof and taciturn.

The two sat side by side in silence for a long time, neither of them speaking.

Just as I was about to get up and go back to my room to rest, Su Wan suddenly spoke first:

"I'm actually quite curious, why did you choose to cross the no-man's-land? Do you genuinely love the wilderness?"

This seemingly simple question stumped me instantly.

I remained silent for a long time before speaking frankly: "To be honest, if it weren't for making a living, I would never have even considered crossing the no-man's-land. Before deciding to go on this trip, my pursuit was simple: a stable life, making money, and taking care of my mother."

Su Wan turned to look at me, her eyes serious and earnest: "So, can I take that you went into the no-man's-land purely for fame and fortune?"

"Okay." I didn't hide anything and nodded frankly.

After a brief pause, I continued frankly, "It's for fame and fortune, but also to go with the flow. Outsiders have long mythologized crossing the no-man's-land; those who haven't been there themselves always think it's the ultimate romantic and thrilling thing."

"Everyone yearns for this kind of dreamy and adventurous thing. I did this trip just to cater to the public's expectations and earn a way out for myself."

"Then you are truly not noble," Su Wan commented indifferently.

I chuckled and shook my head: "I would never dare to label myself as noble."

I paused, then became more serious: "While it may not be noble, it's certainly real. After all, not everyone has the courage or the opportunity to set foot in this forbidden zone of life."

I looked at her and said sincerely, "To be honest, I really admire people like you who go to the wilderness for what you love. Just like... your ex-boyfriend."

Su Wan's eyes were slightly dazed. She raised her hand and gently brushed away the stray hairs that had been ruffled by the night wind, her gaze returning to the flickering campfire.

His tone carried a hint of bewilderment and dejection:

"Actually, I've never understood this kind of passion. In my understanding, there has never been this concept of rushing into danger without regard for anything."

I asked softly, "So, by coming here now, are you commemorating him in your own way?"

She remained silent for a long time, then nodded slightly, her tone uncertain: "Perhaps."

A vague "maybe" is enough to show that she herself has never been able to see through her own true heart.

I chuckled, changing the subject and jokingly said, "What if you manage to get out of the no-man's land safely, only to find that you haven't truly let go? Wouldn't that make the whole trip a waste?"

"No," Su Wan answered crisply. "I'm not making this trip to let go. I just want to walk the same paths he walked and see the scenery he saw back then."

These words sound rather sad.

I paused, then changed the subject, asking, "Do your family members know about this part of your past?"

Su Wan nodded gently: "I know, they've been advising me to let bygones be bygones and not to dwell on it."

"But some knots in your heart can't be easily untied by a few words of comfort and guidance from others. The hurdles in your heart can only be overcome by yourself."

After she finished speaking, she smiled faintly, but the smile was full of bitterness.

I looked at the flickering campfire, sighed softly, and slowly said:

"There are two kinds of obsessions. One is the forced completion of what one did not finish, seeking liberation by making up for the past; this is self-imposed bondage."

"The second way is to accept regrets with equanimity, move forward with the memories, and that is true peace of mind."

Su Wan turned to look at me, a hint of doubt in her eyes, and listened quietly to what I had to say.

I softened my tone and continued, "He embarked on this path because of his passion, not because he wanted someone to be trapped here for him every year thereafter."

"If you cross the Qiangtang Plateau just to fulfill his wish, then this journey becomes a form of self-torture."

"True letting go is not about walking the path for him, but about being able to truly say goodbye to the past after you've walked it yourself."

The campfire crackled, flames leaping upwards from time to time, their warm light falling on the two men and dispelling some of the chill.

Su Wan remained silent for a long, long time, without saying a word, silently processing what I had said.

The evening wind howled across the courtyard, and the distant Qiangtang wilderness stretched out in darkness, boundless and endless, like a lurking giant beast.

After a long silence, she finally spoke softly: "I understand these principles, but people's hearts are not like principles; they can't just be let go of them."

"It's been five years, and I've long since gotten used to carrying this regret in my heart as I move forward."

I continued, "Habits can be changed. Once this journey is over, you'll put a complete period to your youth and this obsession. From now on, you'll live only for yourself, Su Wan."

Su Wan stared blankly at the flickering firelight, her usually cool eyes slightly reddening.

She, who was always calm and restrained and never showed her emotions, finally cracked at this moment.