Mud beads

Yu Zhu stood frozen outside the door.

The cold, white light of the mirror fell on Echizen Toru's profile, drawing a sharp line between his nose and jaw. His long, narrow eyes were fixed on her face, the corners of his eyes slowly curving upwards.

The next second, he tilted his head back, his Adam's apple bobbed heavily, and he let out a sigh of relief.

Yu Zhu's gaze melted away again with that sigh.

Ignoring the darkness and blurriness, she instinctively turned and retreated towards the bedroom. Her steps were so quick that her shoulder bumped against the doorframe.

She slumped back onto the bed, reached for the light switch on the bedside table, and pressed it down hard.

The table lamp is on.

The dim CD player cast a yellowish glow in the darkness, and the world before her eyes was reconstructed by blocks of color of varying sizes. Yu Zhu listened to the pattering water in the bathroom, and her face quickly flushed.

She hadn't felt this awkwardness in a long time.

The water flowed for a while in the quiet before quickly stopping.

The footsteps stopped at the bedroom door.

Yu Zhu raised her head.

In the blurred vision, a faint gray line appeared.

Koshima Toru leaned against the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Why are you running?" His voice was devoid of any extraneous emotion. "I'm the victim, aren't I?"

Yu Zhu's fingers sank into the bed sheet.

"You're not closing the door."

Does it make any difference to you whether I close the door or not?

He remained calm and composed.

Yu Zhu did not answer.

The scar that flashed by in the cold light, the hunched back, and those eyes that gradually curved upwards were still clearly etched in her memory, and would be automatically recalled if she was distracted for even a moment.

But perhaps, being honest won't make things any easier.

After a brief silence, Yu Zhu loosened the sheets, her voice regaining its calm: "You don't have to stay with me every day."

The people at the door didn't move.

The relaxed smile on Echizen Toru's face faded.

"Explain yourself clearly."

Yu Zhu pondered for a moment, then looked away and slowly moved back into the blankets.

"You can have your own life, I won't interfere, that's your freedom—"

"Alright, shut up," Echizen interrupted her. "You only say things I don't want to hear."

He walked unhurriedly to the other side of the bed, lifted the blanket, and sat down.

Yu Zhu looked at the approaching pale heat source and slowly frowned: "So you want to hear a lie?"

"Come on, tell me."

Echizen Toru took off his pajamas and tossed them onto the bedside table. He lay down, crossed his arms behind his head, and said coldly, "I want to hear."

The light from the table lamp lay between the two of them.

Yu Zhu sat for a while, then reached out and turned off the light, turning her back to him and lying down.

"Weren't you supposed to be lying?"

A low laugh came from the darkness behind her.

"I love you," "I want to be with you"—is that so hard?

Yu Zhu didn't say anything, closed her eyes, and pulled the blanket up over her shoulder.

It seems that Toru Echizen has no intention of letting her go.

The mattress behind her sank nearby, and Toru Etsuma's long arm reached over her to turn the lamp back on.

"You dare not speak because you feel guilty."

His voice was very close to hers, his breath warm against her ear, and it was seductive.

Yu Zhu gently shook her head, her eyes still closed: "You have everything, and the only thing you're still obsessed with is love, isn't that right?"

The person behind him visibly paused, but quickly admitted frankly, "Yes, that's human nature."

Yu Zhu had no interest in discussing human nature with him.

Leaning against her back, Toru Echizen slowly spoke, "Have you ever considered that your pursuit of so-called 'freedom' is nothing more than empty whining after a good meal?"

His tone was calm, without sarcasm: "Now you have a maid to take care of your three meals a day, the best doctors to see when you're sick, and I'll follow your lead—tell me, would you have thought about freedom or not ten years ago?"

Yu Zhu opened her eyes.

In the courtyard, the remaining water after the rainstorm dripped from the eaves, and the sound of the water seeped through the window, drop by drop, into the night.

"I don't know, maybe you're right."

Yu Zhu thought about it seriously for a while: "If I stay by your side, I won't have to struggle for a living or worry about food and drink for the rest of my life. I'll have a doctor when I'm sick and a driver when I go out—it sounds like the right thing to do."

"You're overthinking it." Echizen Toru twirled a strand of her hair, playing with it gently between his fingertips. "The answer has always been right in front of you. Can't you just copy it?"

Upon hearing this familiar phrase, Yu Zhu smiled silently.

How could she not plagiarize? She's the best at it.

From piles of draft paper and exam papers, to endless lemons to make lemon tea and countless cups to wash, and now to that little path that leads to the lake every day.

Her life was just a series of repetitive copyings.

"So the rule of this world is that whoever controls more resources has more right to decide how people should live, right?" She turned over and lay flat on the bed. "If you're sure your choices will make me live a better life, then you can override my will."

Echizen Toru's face was very close to hers, so close that her gaze briefly focused again, and she saw his furrowed brow.

Yu Zhu blinked, her gaze softening again: "I just hope I have the right to make mistakes."

"Only when you're with me do you have the right to make mistakes."

Without saying a word, Echizen Toru pulled her into his arms.

His arm was across her waist, firm and strong, as if he wanted to press her back onto the bed along with those unrealistic thoughts.

"Haven't you tasted the price of freedom enough?"

Yu Zhu's lips parted, and she finally fell silent.

She didn't struggle; she simply closed her eyes slowly in his warm body heat.

Moth

The next morning, Yu Zhu's eyes seemed to have turned into a pair of windshield wipers, her vision sometimes clear and sometimes blurry as her eyelids fluttered.

In the afternoon, she went to the lakeside as promised.

The air was clean after the rain, and the puddles on the roadside had receded, leaving only the lingering smell of damp earth. She walked to the bench with her cane, and just as she wiped the water off the bench with a tissue, she heard the familiar sound of a motor approaching from afar.

Zhao Jie's wheelchair stopped in front of her.

"The ground is slippery, be careful." Yu Zhu sat down on the bench.

"oh......"

Zhao Jie was acting strangely today, not spouting her usual nonsense. Her fingers rested on the control lever, fiddling with the edge, and she glanced up at Yu Zhu several times, hesitant to speak.

Yu Zhu waited for a while.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing much."

Zhao Jie cleared his throat and moved the wheelchair forward a little.

"I promised my mom I'd go back to school next Monday."

After she finished speaking, she looked down at her hands.

Yu Zhu paused for a moment, then smiled and said, "That's a good thing."

Zhao Jie's ears turned a little red.

She turned her wheelchair around and parked it next to Yu Zhu on the bench, her head down and her fingers fidgeting on her knees.

"After talking to you that afternoon, I went back and thought about it," she said sheepishly. "Whether I can finish my studies or not, at least I can choose to try again. If all else fails, I can just take another leave of absence."

She shrugged, gave a mocking laugh, and the movement caused her empty trouser leg to sway slightly in front of the wheelchair.

"After thinking it through, it doesn't seem like there's anything I can't accept. Anyway, my life won't get any worse."

Yu Zhu smiled and said, "Very good, you have surpassed Wang Chongyang."

Zhao Jie turned his head and his gaze fell on Yu Zhu's face.

"And what about you?" she asked. "Are you going to stay in the tomb?"

Yu Zhu's smile froze.

She blinked, and the blurry image in front of her slowly focused.

Zhao Jie was looking at her with his chin resting on his hand, his delicate eyebrows furrowed, his young face showing a mature and serious expression.

"If I leave, there will be no one to talk to you anymore."

Yu Zhu tilted her head and thought for a moment before looking away.

"really."

The sky was clear and cloudless after the rain. The lake in the distance rippled gently, the waves pushing against the embankment and soaking the newly grown greenery nearby.

Zhao Jie didn't press further, and continued, "I finished reading 'The Return of the Condor Heroes' yesterday. I never imagined that after all the twists and turns, Xiaolongnu and Yang Guo would still return to the Ancient Tomb."

"Do you like this ending?" Yu Zhu asked her.

"I like it." Zhao Jie nodded vigorously. "This ancient tomb is not that ancient tomb."

Yu Zhu was taken aback by what she said, and turned her head back to look at her: "You make it sound so profound."

Zhao Jie winked at her: "You're a good teacher."

The afternoon sun lingered on the girl's eyelashes, trembling with her laughter. The wind blew her blond hair across her cheeks, occasionally brushing against the light brown freckles on either side of her nose.

Yu Zhu smiled and then slowly froze.

She blinked.

Zhao Jie raised his delicate eyebrows, a hint of suspicion flashing in his eyes.

The scene before me was crystal clear.

Yu Zhu blinked again.

Behind Zhao Jie, the leaves of willows rustled in the distance. The watermarks on the sidewalk, the quietly standing buildings, and the shadow cast by a flying insect as it passed in front of the bench were all clearly imprinted in her eyes.