Mud beads

After that class, Yu Zhu stayed behind.

She didn't mention leaving, and Teacher Zhang didn't ask her when she was leaving. After Teacher Chen's wedding leave ended, the school had three teachers again. Yu Zhu was supposed to pack her bag and return the iron bunk bed, but when she opened her eyes in the morning, Xu Ran was still knocking on the door with her homework books.

"Teacher Yu, I still didn't understand that question from yesterday."

Yu Zhu sat up, wearing a coat, and saw that it was just getting light outside the window. She couldn't stand it anymore and made her go back and copy the multiplication table twenty times.

She continued teaching math in this way.

Elementary school math itself isn't difficult, but it's not easy for children with almost no foundation to understand it. Yu Zhu was initially very confident, and with the confidence that she had outside help, she called Liu Zhengyang. But when Liu Zhengyang analyzed a chicken-and-rabbit problem for ten minutes and finally suggested that she let her child first assume there were x chickens, Yu Zhu completely understood why the principle of "thinking about problems from the perspective of the masses" was repeatedly emphasized.

In her second month in the mountains, Yu Zhu received a message from Liang Xia.

When the screen lit up, she was grading homework. There were three questions in total, and the students had made all sorts of mistakes. She rubbed her temples and opened her phone, only to see Liang Xia asking her: "Aren't you going home yet? Are you bored and want to be a widow for Liang Dong?"

Yu Zhu held the red pen and stared at that sentence for a long time.

She hadn't thought about Liang Dong for a long time.

The school wasn't big, but there were already enough things to worry about. Xu Ran always forgot to step down when she was simplifying things; the boy next to the teacher's desk was allergic to eggs; and she was in charge of cleaning the dormitory every Wednesday and Saturday—she forgot why she came, and why she stayed.

Yu Zhu put down her pen, picked up her phone, and replied with five words.

You don't know anything.

After the message was sent, the screen remained silent for a few minutes.

Liang Xia's dialogue popped up again: Fuck you.

Yu Zhu smiled and looked down, then rubbed her sore nose and continued to grade the wrong answers that were giving her a headache.

Moth

In the fourth month, Yu Zhu completely developed the "occupational disease" that Zhao Jie had once scorned.

I don't know when it started, but her "I think" became "To put it bluntly," and "get out of class dismissed" became "I'll take up a few more minutes of your time." When she was at her angrier, she stood in front of the podium, three rows of desks and chairs away, and accurately threw a piece of chalk onto the desk of the boy in the last row, hitting him on the head of the turtle he was secretly drawing.

At that moment, Yu Zhu looked at the piece of chalk and began to wonder if its accuracy was related to her past blindness.

She began to forage for food again.

Yu Zhu attends classes during the day and grades homework at night. If she hasn't gotten too angry by the time she finishes grading the last one, she'll turn on her computer and start writing.

Mountain folk don't tell stories by their origins. In the dead of night, someone bangs on an iron pipe in an abandoned mine; from beneath the frozen river, the sound of a child calling for help can be heard; a weasel imitates the weeping of a new bride in the snowy night. Yu Zhu heard these stories and wrote them down, deleting a few dead people and adding a child who refused to go home. Some of the more innocent ones she adapted into fairy tales and submitted to children's magazines. Others, becoming increasingly sinister, were sent to horror magazines.

She gave herself two pen names: one for fairy tales, Yu Dong, and one for horror magazines, Yu Yue.

The royalties were inconsistent. Sometimes they were only enough to buy a few stacks of exercise books, and other times they could cover her train ticket from Chang'an to Qin Island. Each time the money arrived, she would keep a portion for living expenses and then transfer a portion of the remaining money to Yuejian Tetsu.

Echizen never asked her where she was or what she was doing; after receiving the money, he would only reply with two words.

receive.

These two words became the only and unbreakable connection between them.

Moth

Winter comes early in the mountains outside the pass. Just after November, a thin layer of frost formed on the inside of the dormitory windows.

When Yu Zhu opened her eyes in the morning, she saw a hazy white expanse on the glass. The water in the washbasin had frozen into a hard shell, which she broke with the handle of her toothbrush. The ice shards circled the rim of the basin twice before Teacher Zhang took it to pour on the dead rose bush by the door.

The village primary school dormitory had no heating, only a coal-fired iron stove. The chimney blew out from above the window, the joint wrapped with several layers of charred duct tape. On windy nights, the smoke would back up. Yu Zhu was awakened by the smoke for the first time, and squatted on the ground, coughing for a long time wrapped in a blanket. Teacher Zhang rushed in with pliers, opening the window to ventilate the room while remarking that even this stove had more temper than they did.

As soon as the window opened, a blast of cold air rushed in. The two of them sat on the bed wrapped in blankets, looking at each other, and then burst out laughing at the same time.

"My wife bought this stove," Teacher Zhang suddenly said.

Yu Zhu peeked out from under the covers.

"He works in the emergency room at the county hospital." Teacher Zhang said calmly, looking at the still smoking iron stove. "Every year when winter comes, he sends me medicine and thick socks. He's a good person, but we just can't live together."

"Why?" Yu Zhu knew that Teacher Zhang didn't have children and always assumed she was single. Since Teacher Zhang didn't say anything, she never pried into other people's family matters.

"He thinks I should go with him and be transferred to the county town, but I feel that this place... can't be without people." Teacher Zhang smiled. "He thinks I'm selfish, and I think he's selfish. Neither of us can convince the other."

The couple had been married for twelve years, but the number of days they actually ate at the same table together was very few. Ms. Zhang cared for more than twenty children in the mountains, while her husband worked in the county hospital's emergency room. During their busiest years, they could only exchange a brief phone call on New Year's Eve.

"You two are both quite selfless," Yu Zhu concluded earnestly.

Teacher Zhang stared at the charcoal blocks in the furnace and pulled the corner of the blanket over his shoulder.

"Actually, we both know in our hearts that what the other is doing is right, but right doesn't necessarily mean appropriate. Sometimes... right and wrong seem to be the least important things."

Yu Zhu listened without saying a word.

That night, she dreamed of Toru Eshima again.

There were no mountains or snow in my dream.

The curtains billowed in the wind, suggesting it was summer outside. She lay on a large bed, the sheets beneath her smooth and cool. Toru Kozuma leaned down, his breath falling on her ear.

His face was blurry, but Yu Zhu knew it was him.

Those hands were so familiar; the warmth of his palms, the pressure of his fingers as they touched her skin, even the pauses were unchanged. He kissed her eyes, cheeks, and neck passionately, nuzzling her ear. The mattress rose and fell with their movements, the faint scent of wood spreading into the damp darkness.

In the depths of his emotions, he called her name, Yu Zhu.

She was jolted awake by the call.

The dormitory was pitch black; the coal in the stove was almost gone, leaving only a few dim red glows. The wind outside was still rattling against the windows. The chair back, pressed against the window frame, was occasionally jolted and shifted slightly. Yu Zhu slowly stuck one foot out from under the covers, pushed the chair back in, and then tucked back under the covers.

It was cold under the blanket, but Yu Zhu's face was burning hot. She raised her hand, touched her cheek with the back of her hand, and then pulled the corner of the blanket all the way up to her nose.

Teacher Zhang was sleeping on another bed, breathing steadily.

After a long time, Yu Zhu closed her eyes again.

Moth

The next day, Teacher Zhang found half a bundle of old newspapers in the storage room. Yu Zhu was in charge of tearing them up, and Xu Ran was in charge of stuffing them into the cracks in the window. She stuffed them crookedly, making a mess of glue everywhere, and finally drew two little figures holding hands on the newspapers, saying that one was Teacher Yu and the other was her.

Yu Zhu stared at it for a while and then asked, "Why is my head so big?"

Xu Ran was prepared for this question: "Because you have a lot of questions in your head."

Yu Zhu smeared a trail of paste on her face with her hand.

Xu Ran screamed and ran out, but soon returned with three children to seek revenge. Four hands pressed and smeared Yu Zhu's face, and even Teacher Zhang wasn't spared. The windows weren't completely sealed that day, but the laughter in the dormitory chased away much of the chill.

It was cold in the classroom too.

The iron stove only served the first two rows; the children sitting in the back would tuck their hands into their sleeves during class, and would breathe on them to write every few words. To ensure fairness, Yu Zhu would rearrange the seating every class, moving those in the front to the back and those in the back to the front.

The chalk was frozen and brittle, breaking as she wrote. Yu Zhu, wearing fingerless gloves, graded homework, and the red pen, held between her frozen fingers, kept falling onto the table several times.

The snowfall before the Lunar New Year was particularly heavy.

Starting in the afternoon, snowflakes began to fall densely. After dusk, the snowflakes were whipped up by the wind and pelted against the glass with a crackling sound. The mountain path was quickly covered, and only the black poles of the basketball hoops on the playground were visible.

Xu Ran's parents called that day.

They said the factory had given her an early holiday, and they had already bought her return tickets. They would come to pick her up from school next week. Xu Ran held Teacher Zhang's phone, speechless for a long time. The person on the other end of the line called her by her nickname several times before she finally smiled and asked repeatedly, "What time will you arrive? Can't you come tomorrow? What about the day after tomorrow?"

After hanging up the phone, she pouted and started to cry. After crying, she became excited again, taking her clothes out of the closet, folding them one by one, then complaining that they weren't folded well enough and spreading them out again. She asked Yu Zhu if she wanted to cut her hair, if her shoes were dirty, and if her parents would not recognize her.

Yu Zhu answered each of her questions earnestly. But she didn't really understand what it felt like to long for her parents to come back. Yu Dahai and Liu Guizhen would never travel a long distance to be by her side just because of "missing" her.

During her adolescence, she waited for Kozuki Toru in this way. Whenever she heard that he was going out and would be coming back, her heart would suddenly leap into her throat. After school, when she returned to the Moon Garden, she would secretly hope that the always-closed door on the second floor would open, and even if he just walked out and exchanged a brief glance with her, it would be enough to make her happy for a long time.

Later, she and Liang Dong spent less and less time together, but they were able to live their mundane and ordinary lives with the strength of a promise that might not be kept.

"Waiting" is a recurring theme in her love life.

Now, she hasn't looked forward to anything for a long time. She originally thought that such days would make people feel empty, but when she was actually in it, Yu Zhu felt very calm inside.

This quietness even made her feel at ease.

When it was lights out, Xu Ran was still holding Yu Zhu's hand before going back to the dormitory, saying that her mother had promised to buy her a red down jacket.

In the middle of the night, the snow fell heavier and heavier, and Xu Ran suddenly developed a high fever.

Xu Ran's roommate was the first to notice something was wrong. When Yu Zhu rushed over, Xu Ran was curled up in the blanket, her face burning red, and she was mumbling a question about where her mother was.

The mercury line on the thermometer climbed very high.

Teacher Zhang put on her cotton-padded coat and made several phone calls before finally contacting a car in the village that was still brave enough to travel at night. When the driver arrived, the roof of the car was already covered with a thick layer of snow. Yu Zhu wrapped Xu Ran in a blanket and, together with Teacher Zhang, carried her into the car.

The school couldn't be left without someone. Teacher Zhang had to go back to school after putting them on the bus, while Yu Zhu took on the responsibility of taking Xu Ran to see a doctor.

The mountain road was so heavy with snow that it was impossible to see the end, and the headlights could only illuminate a short section ahead. Occasionally, the tires would slip on the ice, causing the entire vehicle to sway to one side. Yu Zhu held Xu Ran in her arms, letting her head rest on her lap, and every few minutes she would reach out and touch her forehead.

Xu Ran was delirious with fever, but he clung tightly to Yu Zhu's sleeve.

"Teacher Yu."

"Um."

"My mom is coming back."

"Yes."

Will she really come back?

Yu Zhu lowered her head and brushed the sweat-dampened hair from her forehead: "Yes."

The doctor on duty at the town clinic was still there. Xu Ran received a fever-reducing injection and was then put on an IV drip; her temperature gradually decreased. The snow outside continued to fall. Yu Zhu lay by the bedside, holding the plastic tube of the IV drip in her hand, trying to warm the icy medicine as much as possible.

The next morning, Xu Ran's aunt arrived first.

When Xu Ran saw her, he called out, "Xu Wenwen, Xu Wenwen."

The woman was young, about the same age as Yu Zhu, with long hair neatly tied up at the back of her head, and snow still clinging to the shoulders of her cotton-padded jacket. She entered and first shook hands with Yu Zhu, thanking her repeatedly. Then she walked to the bedside, touched Xu Ran's forehead, bent down, and scolded her, "Don't you think you've turned your joy into sorrow?"

Xu Ran looked sickly, but her voice was full of energy: "I'm all better now!"

Despite her initial disapproval, Xu Wenwen packed Xu Ran's medicine and clothes, preparing to take her home to recuperate. Before leaving, she held Yu Zhu's hand and said that she absolutely had to have lunch at her house.

Xu Wenwen's home wasn't far from the clinic; it was an old brick house with a yard. The yard wall wasn't high, and a motorcycle covered with a waterproof cover was parked beside it. The house wasn't large, but it was clean and tidy, with lace-hooked dust covers on the sofa and television. The heating seemed to be their own, as the windows were covered with a layer of condensation. Her husband was stewing a large pot of food in the kitchen, and on the table were scrambled eggs, fried ribbonfish, and a plate of coarsely chopped sausages.

Xu Ran's fever subsided, and he sat on the kang (a heated brick bed) wrapped in a quilt, eating steamed egg custard while awkwardly watching Yu Zhu and Xu Wenwen chat.

Halfway through the meal, the conversation somehow veered towards the old factory at the foot of the mountain.

"That factory used to be so lively, it even had a canteen and a bathhouse." Xu Wenwen placed a piece of ribbonfish on Yu Zhu's plate. "Don't let its location in this remote mountain valley fool you; now it's just a pile of scrap metal. But it actually produced some real celebrities!"

Yu Zhu stopped holding the chopsticks.

Xu Wenwen looked up at her, her eyes crinkling with a smile: "His name is Liang Dong. Have you heard of him?"