Mud beads

Yu Zhu returned to her rented apartment at nearly 3 a.m.

Half of the motion-sensor lights in the hallway were broken, so she groped her way upstairs in the dark, her hand trembling slightly as she inserted the key into the lock. The room was still stifling with the lingering heat of the day, and when the fan was turned on, a musty smell wafted out.

She took off her shoes and socks at the door, and a musty, sour smell of fermented milk wafted out. She stood at the door for a moment, then walked barefoot into the bathroom, carrying her dirty shoes and socks.

Water poured over her head, scalding her skin until it turned red. She stubbornly refused to turn down the temperature, letting the steam fill the entire bathroom.

After showering, Yu Zhu stood in front of the mirror and saw her short, wet hair plastered to her face, with a single strand sticking out unruly at the ends, impossible to smooth down. She raised her arm and smelled it; the sour milky scent was gone, leaving only a faint soapy fragrance on her skin. She then opened her hand, revealing the fine, chaotic lines on her palm. Curling up her fingers, she saw a trace of lemon peel yellow lingering in the short, rounded crevices of her nails.

She thought of Zhou Qiyu's hands. Her fingers were slender, and her long nails were always decorated with various patterns.

The dark purple light at the nightclub entrance shone on her, making her appear fair and alluring.

She was beautiful in every way, and relaxed in every way. Standing next to Echizen Toru, she was a perfect match, like the sun and the moon, shining brightly together.

Yu Zhu looked at her face in the mirror, which gradually overlapped with her childhood self.

The first time she bathed at the Yue family's house, the water from her body that flowed down the drain was grayish-yellow. Now she's grown taller, fairer, and got into a good university. She can earn her own money, rent an apartment by herself, and balance her life and studies. But some things seem etched into her bones, no matter how many baths she takes, she can't wash them away. Whenever she stands in front of Yue Jianche and his group, her true colors are revealed.

There always seemed to be an invisible, transparent wall separating her from them.

Moth

On Monday morning at eight o'clock, Yu Zhu spent her time in a daze.

Before English class, Liu Zhengyang came in through the back door with a glass of soy milk and sat down next to Yu Zhu. He and Yu Zhu were admitted to the same university, although not the same major, but their general education courses were scheduled together, and they eventually settled on sitting in the same row.

As soon as the bell rang, Liu Zhengyang pressed his pen heavily on her desk several times, the retractable pen cap making a clicking sound, like he was calling back a soul.

"What are you thinking? You've already written the answer to question three in question four."

Yu Zhu glanced down at her homework, picked up her pen to correct it, but didn't know where to start.

She made too many mistakes.

Seeing her listless appearance, Liu Zhengyang pulled up a chair and leaned closer: "What time did you go to bed last night?"

"Three o'clock."

"No wonder," he said. "The teacher looked at you several times just now. Be careful, or you'll lose points on your participation."

Yu Zhu hummed in agreement, ran her hands through her hair, and smoothed her bangs back.

"What's wrong with you?" Liu Zhengyang tilted his head and looked her up and down, his eyes probing. "I think you're acting really strange today."

"It's nothing." Yu Zhu turned her head away, avoiding his gaze. "I just didn't sleep well and I'm not feeling well."

After saying that, she lay on the table, buried her face in her arms for a while, and then took out her phone from her pocket.

The screen remained dimly lit, everything seemed normal, and there were no new message notifications.

Toru Eshima has returned to Japan. I don't know if it's for a holiday or a long-term stay.

Anyway, I haven't contacted her.

The following evening, it was her day off, but she still went to the store. She said she was going to see Liang Xia, but really she just wanted to stop by LIMBO on her way home.

This time she was dressed neatly, with a thin layer of lip gloss on her lips. She bought it at Watsons after school.

There were still many cars parked in front of LIMBO, and stylish young men and women were chatting and laughing under the lights. Security guards were pulling up barriers, and cigarette butts left black marks on the ground.

Echizen Toru was not there.

He may have already left.

Or perhaps they are still in Chang'an.

Yu Zhu started walking home, carefully avoiding the sticky wine stains on the ground with the soles of her shoes.

The two answers made no difference to her. If Yuejian Tetsu wanted to find her, he would always find a way. He knew her WeChat and that her name was Yu Zhu. That afternoon, she had even posted her first-ever WeChat Moments update.

She posted a picture of the sky above the university gate, complete with the plaque of Chang'an University. The caption read: "The weather is great."

Someone liked her post on WeChat Moments. Every time she opened the notification with high hopes, she would exit in disappointment.

On the third day, Yu Zhu confirmed something.

To Echizen Toru, she was truly nothing.

Moth

On Friday night, LIMBO exploded again.

After 11 o'clock, the entrance to Nong Ning Tea was packed with people. Liang Xia and Yu Zhu were too busy to handle everything, so they called Sister Liao.

The loud output device made people's eardrums feel tight.

Yu Zhu stood in the reserve area, mashing lemons, the pestle striking lemon slices through ice, filling her nostrils with a tangy, refreshing aroma. Liang Xia was shaking milk tea, the shaker swaying beside her ear without stopping.

Around midnight, the shop's cell phone rang.

Sister Liao, who was close to the phone, picked it up and tucked it between her neck and shoulder, quickly packing her bag: "Hello, I'd like some lemon tea."

It was noisy on the other end of the phone, with drums pounding. She moved the receiver further away and frowned.

"Fifteen cups? What flavor?"

She pulled out a pen from beside the cashier and quickly wrote down the order.

"Six cups of hand-whipped lemon, four cups of jasmine tea, three cups of duck-shit tea, and two cups of peach oolong tea. Is half-sweet and iced okay? Oh, less ice for all of them? Okay, address?"

After hanging up the phone, she tossed her phone back onto the bar and slammed the order slip onto the counter in the back area: "Fifteen drinks, another LIMBO."

Seeing Liang Xia's impatient expression, Yu Zhu wiped her hands and said, "I'll go."

Liang Xia stopped what she was doing: "Are you sure you can do it?"

"You're quick on the drawer." Yu Zhu handed over the receipt. "There are still many orders to come."

Liang Xia glanced at the guests who hadn't left yet at the door and hummed in agreement.

Fifteen drinks were packed into four large bags, each supported by a cup holder and sealed tightly. Yu Zhu wrapped the bag opening around her wrist and pushed open the door to go out.

The outside temperature felt higher than inside the shop; she wondered if it was from car exhaust or excessive carbon dioxide exhaled by people. After walking for a while, Yu Zhu noticed a bead of sweat on her temples.

There were many people at the entrance of LIMBO.

A winding queue stretched out from the safety cordon, and a security guard in a black suit stood at the entrance with a walkie-talkie clipped to his ear. Some people were queuing, some were smoking nearby, and some were kissing by their cars. Several sports cars were parked on the side of the road, their headlights flashing briefly before going out again.

Yu Zhu carried the milk tea to the door.

The security guard stopped her: "What are you doing?"

"Serving drinks." Yu Zhu tilted her body slightly and held up the bag in one hand a little higher. "The customer inside ordered these."

The security guard glanced at it and said, "Takeout orders are not allowed in."

"The customer asked us to deliver it inside."

"Let him come down and get it himself."

Yu Zhu nodded, stepped aside, and moved the bag's drawstring closer to her wrist, freeing one hand to make a phone call. The plastic bag dig into her wrist, the cup clinked softly inside, and the ice cubes clattered. The phone rang for a long time before she answered.

"Hello, I'm the one who makes lemon tea. Your drink has arrived, please come down and get it."

The voice on the other end of the phone was that of a young man, and he sounded very aggressive: "I told you to bring it in."

"The security guards won't let us in."

Tell the security guard my booth number.

Yu Zhu turned to ask the security guard, but was refused again.

"I said, takeout orders are not allowed."

"Damn it," someone cursed on the other end of the phone. "Fifteen cups and I have to carry them myself? Why are you taking orders if you can't deliver them?"

Yu Zhu stood at the nightclub entrance, opening her mouth but unsure what to say. People were all around; those in line glanced at her a few times before quickly looking away. The security guard, looking down at his phone, neither spoke up nor shooed her away.

She could only apologize: "I'm sorry, can I wait for you at the door?"

"Hold."

The phone hangs up.

Yu Zhu, carrying her milk tea, stood by the barrier and waited. Since the other party hadn't said whether they were coming down or not, she couldn't just leave.

One minute, five minutes, ten minutes.

Water dripped from the outside of the bag down the bottom, and her hands were numb from holding it, so she couldn't put it on the ground.

Someone walked past her and bumped into the bag.

"I'm sorry," Yu Zhu said instinctively.

The other person didn't even look at her.

Fifteen minutes later, a boy came out of the door.

He was in his early twenties, with his hair pulled back high, wearing a loose white T-shirt and a thick silver chain around his neck. His face was red, and his eyes were red as well. He came out followed by two onlookers.

"Make lemon tea!" he shouted at the door.

Yu Zhu hurried over: "Hello, this way."

The boy looked down at the bag, his expression grim: "It took you guys so much trouble to deliver a milk tea."

Yu Zhu pursed her lips and offered no further explanation.

The boy didn't take the bag; instead, he pulled out a cup, stuck the straw in, took a sip, and immediately frowned.

"This is what you call less ice? Where's the ice?"

Yu Zhu said, "It's because there's not enough ice; it's been sitting for too long, and some of the ice has melted."

"Are you blaming me?"

"No......"

The boy chuckled and turned to look at the person behind him: "Did you hear that? He's making sarcastic remarks about me."

The two people laughed too.

Yu Zhu's fingers tightened around the bag. She smelled the alcohol on him, mixed with cigarette smoke and perfume, creating an aura that made her feel very uneasy.

The boy raised his milk tea, looked at the condensation clinging to the cup, then glanced at Yu Zhu. His gaze first swept across her face, then moved to her chest.

"Your store only sent you out to deliver?" He chuckled, then suddenly took a step closer. "A schoolgirl?"

Yu Zhu didn't speak, but silently took half a step back.

"You're from Chang'an University, right?" The boy stared at her half-exposed student ID card in her pocket, his smile deepening. "Are college students this shameless these days? Selling themselves at night?"

Yu Zhu suddenly raised her head, her eyes cold.

The boy's smile vanished immediately after she glanced at him, and he raised his cup forward.

"Are you pretending to be your mother?"

The next second, the entire cup of milk tea landed on Yu Zhu's collarbone.

The lid flew off, and ice, tea, and milk foam exploded together. Yu Zhu was splashed with milk tea all over her face, and the cold liquid dripped down her collar, some of it flowing into her bra and down to her lower abdomen, soaking her inside and out.

Yu Zhu was a little stunned by the sudden impact. She was still standing there when the milk tea bag in her hand wobbled, the cups collided, and the bag was so heavy that it almost slipped from her grasp.

The surrounding noise subsided for a moment, and all eyes were focused on the spectacle at the entrance.

The security guard finally looked up and walked over: "Hey, stop making a scene at the entrance."

The boy's eyes cleared a little as he looked at Yu Zhu, who was soaked in milk tea, but he still retorted, "What am I making a fuss about? I paid for it, can't I say it's not good?"

Yu Zhu didn't say anything. She silently put the milk tea bag on the ground, took out two tissues from her pocket, and first wiped the milk stains off her chin.

The milk tea dried quickly in the wind, but the sugar remained on my skin, sticking sweetly to my chest.

These bags of milk tea are probably not going to be delivered, she thought. Each cup costs around five yuan, so fifteen cups would cost seventy-five yuan. She only earns eighteen yuan an hour, which is equivalent to working for free for four hours. Liang Xia's orders are still pouring in; she can't waste too much time here.

Seeing that she didn't speak, the boy became even more arrogant: "Are you mute? Call your boss over here."

Yu Zhu bent down, picked up the milk tea cup that had just been smashed on the ground, and put it into her bag.

The door to the nightclub opened.

The low drumbeats pounded out, carrying a smell of alcohol and cold air. Someone came out and stopped on the steps.

"Who's looking for the boss? That's me."

A familiar voice came from above.

Not tall, lazy, and a little impatient when disturbed.

Yu Zhu's hand stopped.

She looked up.

Ji Yong stood at the door, a cigarette between his fingers, his gray hair appearing white under the light, followed by two staff members in black suits. He had been smiling, but after seeing Yu Zhu's face and the mess on her chest, his smile gradually faded.

He stared at her for two seconds.

"Yu... Zhu?"