Courtyard House: Starting with a 28-inch motorcycle

Hong Jingqiu kept her head down, stirring the spatula, without even lifting her eyelids: "Master He is the wise man who knows how to manage a household, but unfortunately... sigh." Her voice trailed off softly.

He Yuzhu stepped across the threshold, leaned closer to the stove, and sniffed: "Wow, the cabbage smells delicious too!"

"Just a few slices of pork belly, so fresh and juicy." She scooped up a spoonful and tasted it. "How about one of your specialties, Chef He, so I can treat myself to something delicious sometime?"

"No problem at all!" he readily agreed. "Next time we have a family feast, I'll pack a couple extra portions for you. Has Da Mao returned yet?"

"Almost done." She lifted the pot lid, and white steam billowed up. "Master He, if you don't mind, would you like to have a bite to eat?"

"I couldn't be happier!" He rubbed his hands together. "I'm just worried that Da Mao will think I'm freeloading, but—" He winked at Hong Jingqiu, "I want to get closer to Jingqiu."

"What's there to be afraid of?" She smiled confidently. "In this family, he doesn't have the final say, I do."

Before he could finish speaking, the courtyard gate slammed shut—Xu Damao had returned.

"Hey! What's the wind blowing today?" He swaggered in, "So, Comrade Silly Zhu's learned to visit other people's homes too?"

"I just got along really well with Jingqiu," He Yuzhu said with a grin as he moved further inside.

"Come in quickly! Neighbors should visit each other often." Hong Jingqiu grabbed his arm with just the right amount of force.

"Absolutely!" He Yuzhu sat down, "Let's get along better from now on."

As Xu Damao set out the bowls and chopsticks, he thought to himself: In just two days, his wife has already won over Sha Zhu. The original plan was to move up the schedule by half a month!

He raised his glass, his tone warm: "We grew up together, so we have to be completely open and honest with each other from now on. I remember you helping me cook last time—cheers!"

"Da Mao, you're being too polite!" He Yuzhu clinked glasses with his. "We'll be seeing each other all the time, don't you think, Jingqiu?"

"Master He's words really resonated with me." She smiled and gently tapped the rim of her bowl with the tip of her chopsticks.

After a couple of rounds of drinks and the dishes were almost gone, He Yuzhu got up to say goodbye.

He Yushui was squatting by the door peeling garlic: "Brother, where have you been? We haven't even started cooking!"

"Didn't you go to an old man's house?"

"Yes! I was worried you'd be hungry, so I rushed back to cook for you."

"Alright, alright, you can go back to playing now." He yawned. "My eyelids are drooping, I need to catch up on some sleep."

He Yushui pursed her lips, muttered a couple of words, and turned to leave.

He Yuzhu bolted the door shut and slipped into the space. Tomorrow's scene will nail Xu Damao and his wife to the pillar of shame—otherwise, all my self-inflicted suffering for the night will have been for nothing.

Hong Jingqiu wants to make a fool of me? Just you wait!

This kind of person can't even conceive, and sooner or later she'll turn the Xu family upside down and cause chaos.

However, the most important thing right now is not to settle accounts, but to make this play so seamless that no one can find any flaws.

……

He Yuzhu moved with lightning speed, heading straight for the public restroom in Zhongyuan. There were two stalls; he rushed into the one on the left first, locking it securely with a "click."

Wait a little longer, then we can start.

Meanwhile, Xu Damao and Hong Jingqiu were gloating in their room, thinking that He Yuzhu had already fallen into a trap, and that the prison food bowls and chopsticks were almost ready.

Xu Damao put his arm around his wife's shoulder and sighed, "You're just born for this! No one in the whole yard can last three moves against you!"

Hong Jingqiu drew circles on his chest with her fingertips: "Got it? Listen to me from now on, or else..." She sneered and didn't finish her sentence.

"Marrying you is the greatest blessing I've ever received!" He tilted his head back and gulped down a mouthful of cold tea.

"Silly Zhu, there's no rush." ​​She slowly stirred the sugar water in the enamel mug. "When fishing, you have to be patient."

No sooner had they finished speaking than their stomachs rumbled loudly. The two exchanged a glance and rushed to the toilet—Hong Jingqiu was even faster, diving into the right-hand stall and slamming the door shut.

Xu Damao stood outside the door, legs clamped together, jumping up and down. Cold sweat had just broken out when his stomach churned again. He felt a heat in his crotch, his body went limp, and he collapsed onto the concrete floor. His intestines felt like they were being twisted and wrung by a meat grinder, and he didn't even have the strength to breathe.

Just then, someone passed by and saw him curled up on the ground convulsing. He had just squatted down to help when his nose was suddenly hit by a stench of sour, putrid urine—looking down, he saw that the front of his trousers was soaked, and yellowish liquid was dripping down his legs. The man's stomach churned, and he dry-heaved, turning around and shouting, "Xu Damao pooped in his pants—and he's spewing feces!!!"

After shouting, he ran towards the family: "Uncle, help! Xu Damao is unconscious at the toilet door, his face is as white as paper, he probably ate poisonous mushrooms!"

An old man, Liu Haizhong, and several strong men, carrying enamel basins and brooms, all gathered around in less than five minutes.

Hong Jingqiu was still having a violent bout of diarrhea in the right room. Hearing the commotion outside, she just pulled the toilet lid tighter and didn't even have the strength to groan.

Liu Haizhong stamped his foot: "Are you still standing there? If you delay any longer, he'll be dead! He probably ate something dirty—quickly give him the golden juice!"

He grabbed his son, Liu Tianqi, and shouted, "Fetch a bucket of fresh stuff from the toilet! Everyone else, hold him down, don't let him pass out!"

Four young men pounced on him, holding down his arms and legs, while Liu Haizhong grabbed a funnel and shoved it into Xu Damao's mouth. Liu Tianqi had just scooped up a spoonful and was pouring it into the funnel when a furious roar suddenly erupted from the toilet:

"Xu Damao! Hong Jingqiu! I'll fight you to the death—you tricked me into going to dinner, and then dared to give me chrysanthemum powder?!"

Liu Tianqi's hand trembled, and the spoon fell to the ground with a "clatter".

An old man waved his hand: "Stop pouring... I'm afraid Sha Zhu went to his house for a banquet and they both got infected."

Xu Damao lay on the ground, vomiting and having diarrhea. He didn't even have the strength to cry anymore. All that was left was his wide-open eyes, staring intently at the tightly closed toilet door.

The neighbors watching the commotion in the courtyard were all dumbfounded, but Banggeng, as if grasping at a straw, immediately straightened his back—now he wasn't all alone anymore.

Liu Haizhong slapped his thigh and raised his voice to the top of his lungs: "Uncle, you have to make a decision! We can't just let Xu Damao freeze to death in the snow, can we?"

An old man frowned, pointed, and said, "Two strong young men, quickly pull down his pants, wipe him clean, and take him back to his house! When he recovers tomorrow, each of you will receive a dollar as a token of our gratitude! By the way—where's Hong Jingqiu? Where has she gone?"

From behind the toilet partition came a weak reply: "Uncle, you guys can take your time... My stomach is churning, I really can't take it anymore..." Hong Jingqiu's voice was weak, as if her bones had been pulled out.

Outside another toilet stall, He Yuzhu stood with his hands on his hips, his face ashen: "Hong Jingqiu! You vicious woman, I knew long ago that you two were up to no good! I've been squatting in this latrine for half an incense stick's time, and this isn't over!"

Looking further east, several young men carried Xu Damao toward his house. Before they even entered the house, Xu Damao started spraying water all the way. The neighbors watching shook their heads, but no one dared to let him lie in the snow for even half a minute longer—if he froze any longer, he might freeze into a block of ice and lose half his life.

Liu Tianqi was already feeling utterly exhausted. He had just grabbed a ladle and scooped up a spoonful of cold water to gulp down when an old man quickly stopped him, saying, "Don't drink that! It's bad for your health."

Liu Haizhong shouted a few times, and his three sons slipped away like greased feathers. Who would dare to stand in Xu Damao's room? The scene was so foul that it was impossible to open one's eyes—drips were still dripping from the bed, and staying any longer would likely be fatal due to the stench.

The old man remembered all five young men who helped him, and tomorrow he would call them by name one by one to ask Xu Damao for that one yuan thank-you gift on their behalf.

In the restroom, He Yuzhu hissed in a low voice, "Hong Jingqiu, what exactly are you up to? If you think I'm freeloading, just say so! Is it really necessary to resort to such underhanded tactics?"

Hong Jingqiu slumped against the wall, too lazy to even lift her eyelids, her lips cracked and dry, unable to utter a single word.

He Yuzhu sneered, "Fine, you're mute now, aren't you? We'll go to the neighborhood committee tomorrow and settle things!" Before he finished speaking, he clutched his stomach, grimaced, and rushed into the latrine, acting more like a real patient than if he were sick.

Since it's opera, you have to sing it to the very core of your being.

He made two more trips, pouring water into the pit with a splash, then staggered out, leaning on the door frame, his face pale and his steps unsteady, panting as he made his way back home.

The packet of potent laxatives was prepared overnight by the space robot, and the antidote was also ready. He Yuzhu didn't dare to say another word to He Yushui, and quickly slipped into the space to take the antidote—otherwise, he would definitely lose control of his bladder in public today.

The space robot can prepare quite a few medicines; as long as the ingredients are gathered, it can brew them. Originally, this medicine was intended to deal with Jia Zhangshi, but after Qin Huairu took over the family, no one dared to provoke her. Even when fighting with He Yushui, she only took the beatings without fighting back. It would be unreasonable to use such a harsh method against her.

Having run into this old man today, He Yuzhu had a sudden inspiration: why not strike while the iron is hot and take care of Hong Jingqiu and Xu Damao, those two jinxes, together? Hong Jingqiu wanted to control him, right? Then let's set her up—offer to help serve the dishes, and sprinkle the powder on the braised pork knuckle that the three of them were sharing, so no one could find fault with it.

They'll have to come up with a flawless excuse tomorrow, otherwise they'll have to swallow this "retribution" back with interest.

He Yuzhu flushed the toilet every few minutes, emptying the tub, and then cursed Xu Damao and his wife from the doorway. The sound of his furious cursing could be heard throughout the yard. But no one came out to stop him—how could anyone stop him? Inviting someone to dinner and then secretly putting laxatives in their food—how deep must the hatred be for someone to be so ruthless?

Once her stomachache subsided, Hong Jingqiu managed to waddle out of the toilet, leaning against the wall. Halfway there, her legs gave way, and she nearly collapsed. A neighbor saw this and quickly helped her home. But once inside, no one dared to put her on the bed—the bed had been utterly ruined by Xu Damao, and the stench was even more overwhelming than from a latrine.

A kind-hearted woman immediately decided: "Let him stay at my house! My husband is visiting relatives, so we're innocent and have nothing to fear from gossip."