Ming Dynasty: Gain one supernatural power every day

"My senior brother was born a wild monkey. He only studied Taoist magic for a few years in his quest for immortality, and he never learned anything about human relationships or worldly wisdom. How would he know anything about the martial world?"

"Alas, once you enter the world of martial arts, you are no longer in control of your own destiny. If you don't understand the world of martial arts, you're doomed," Zhang Fu said with rare emotion.

"Yes, there's a saying that goes, 'The martial world isn't just about fighting and killing; it's about human relationships and social interactions.'" Pigsy nodded.

"Yes, yes, that's exactly what I said. Didn't my eldest brother rebel against Heaven because of the matter of being the Keeper of the Heavenly Horses? And then he declared himself the Great Sage Equal to Heaven."

"The Monkey King?? That's a powerful name!" Zheng Heng's eyes lit up.

"Indeed, the Great Sage Equal to Heaven, that sounds extraordinary." Qiu Fu nodded in agreement.

"Isn't he being a bit too arrogant? Shouldn't the Jade Emperor deal with him?" Zhu Gaoxu asked.

"What's there to punish? He hasn't even finished taking the blame yet. Not only did the Jade Emperor not punish him, he actually made him the Great Sage Equal to Heaven and bestowed upon him the Great Sage Equal to Heaven Palace."

"..."

"Hearing this, I knew I was about to be blamed for something big again." Zhang Fu's lips twitched.

"Yes, one should not accept rewards without merit, and anything unusual must be a trap," Qiu Fu nodded in agreement.

"My senior brother also felt something was off at that time. After all, he was a clever monkey, and people often say that monkeys are very clever."

"After he became the Monkey King, he was well-behaved for a while, but after a few days he forgot about what he had done before and got arrogant again."

"Brother, isn't this a classic case of forgetting the lesson after the meal?" Zhu Gaoxu said, both amused and exasperated.

"Yes, Marshal, what did your eldest brother do this time?"

"This is kind of funny. Isn't the Peach Banquet coming up soon?"

"It's the one that the Queen Mother of the West organized. She sent my eldest brother there to guard the peach orchard."

"Tell me, what do you mean by letting a monkey guard the peach orchard?... Hahaha." Pigsy laughed out loud first.

"Hahaha, this is hilarious! Sending monkeys to watch over the Peach Garden... Hahaha, who came up with this idea?" Zhu Gaoxu slapped the table and laughed loudly.

"Hahaha... Heavenly Court really has a lot of talented people, I'm dying of laughter." Xue Lu also laughed so hard he was doubled over.

"Hahaha...hahaha." Everyone laughed uncontrollably when they heard Pigsy say this.

Zheng Hengzheng took a sip of wine, then spat it out, choking and coughing repeatedly.

"Tell me, why did my senior brother have to go? Maybe that monkey had never seen any good peaches before, and he was just craving a couple."

"Anyway, the Queen Mother's Peach Banquet was never held, and it's said that tens of thousands of peaches were lost."

"Tell me, what kind of monkey can eat tens of thousands of peaches at once?"

"Actually, it was the Seven Fairy Maidens, the land of the Peach Garden, and the guards who had long ago taken all these peaches away."

"I'm dying of laughter! I've lost tens of thousands of peaches." Zhu Gaoxu laughed until tears streamed down his face.

"Marshal, your eldest brother is quite a talent too! Why not stop calling him the Great Sage Equaling Heaven and start calling him the Great Sage Who Flattens the Tent?" Xue Lu wiped away the tears of laughter.

"How do you know? I later heard that people in Heaven call him that," Pigsy said seriously.

"Brother, is this still not over? Are we still going to take the blame for this?" Zheng Heng asked.

"Yes, Marshal, with so much going on, is it still not finished?"

"Don't rush, don't rush, let me, Old Pig, tell you the whole story. After disrupting the Queen Mother's Peach Banquet, this monkey was taken to Laozi's place, which is the Tushita Palace."

"Laojun? Is he my fourth brother's master?" Zhu Gaoxu immediately perked up.

"Yes, brother, don't be in a hurry. Just now we were talking about how the monkey went to Laozi's Tushita Palace and ate Laozi's golden pill."

"I don't know exactly how many pills he ate, but Laozi said in the end that he lost several thousand gourds of golden pills."

"We don't know what kind of constitution this monkey has. Normally, it would be full after eating a few gourds of golden pills. Wouldn't it explode and die after eating thousands of gourds?"

"This monkey is really unlucky, always taking the blame for these gods." Zheng Heng shook his head.

"Who says otherwise? It gives me the creeps just listening to it," Qiu Fu sighed.

"Don't rush, it's not over yet. Didn't my senior brother get captured later?"

"After he was captured, Laozi helped him develop fiery eyes and an indestructible body in the Eight Trigrams Furnace."

"Then Laozi is quite benevolent, even helping him develop fiery eyes and an indestructible body," Zhang Fu praised.

"Yes, as expected of Laozi. Is this a case of borrowing and repaying? Yin and Yang in balance, I suppose so." Xue Lu nodded in agreement.

"Hey, what are you thinking? Helping him develop the ability to see through things and become indestructible is so that he can better take the blame later. After all, only those who are physically strong can take the blame, right?" Pigsy waved his hand.

"Hahaha, brother, your words are brilliant!" Zhu Gaoxu laughed.

"Yes, Marshal's words are brilliant," Zheng Heng laughed.

"After that, the monkey and the Heavenly Court had a complete falling out, and he lost his usefulness."

"But listen carefully, losing its usefulness doesn't mean it has no value. We still need to squeeze every last drop of value out of the monkey."

"After the heavenly soldiers and generals finished fighting the monkey, and the tally was done, it turned out that each person lost one weapon and one piece of armor. How do you think that number was?"

"Oh dear, they've really squeezed out every last drop of value." Zhang Fu shook his head.

"Your senior brother was so immature back then. If he knew about this, wouldn't the sky be falling?" Zhu Gaoxu sighed.

"After the fight, he caused a huge disturbance in the Jade Emperor's palace. Do you think the Jade Emperor couldn't defeat him?"

"The Jade Emperor has cultivated since childhood, enduring 1,750 tribulations, each lasting 129,600 years. That adds up to 226.8 million years of cultivation. How could he possibly be no match for a mere monkey?"

"As a result, he smashed up the Lingxiao Palace, and in the end, we had to go to the West to ask the Buddha for help to subdue him."

"Brother, why isn't the Jade Emperor taking action? Does he also want to settle scores?" Zhu Gaoxu understood the underlying meaning.

"Yes, Marshal, why didn't the Jade Emperor intervene and instead had to ask Buddha for help?" Zhang Fu asked as well.

"You've come to the right place. Don't be fooled by the Jade Emperor's high position and power; he has so many sons and daughters, and some of them have taken a lot of bribes."

"There are others, but we don't know how they came about. Otherwise, where did the Great Golden Crow and the others get their Great Golden Wheel magical artifacts?"

"And that great golden sword, and that golden armor that's changed every three days—where did all those things come from?"

"Most importantly, the Jade Emperor has ten sons and seven daughters, and the issue of betrothal gifts and dowries is enough to make him anxious."

"Anyway, after the last round, the entire upper echelons of Heaven have become much fatter."

"The people of Heaven are truly blessed to have met your senior brother," Zhu Gaoxu exclaimed.

"Marshal, how was your senior brother punished in the end?" Zheng Heng asked.

"Don't even mention it. In the end, Buddha imprisoned my eldest brother under the mountain for five hundred years. He was always disheveled, unable to move, just like a wild monkey. It was truly shameful." Pigsy waved his hand.

"Hiss, five hundred years? Your senior brother is really pitiful. No wonder you said he was much worse off than you. It's true." Zhu Gaoxu clicked his tongue in amazement.

"That's terrifying, being pressed down by a mountain for five hundred years." Xue Lu shrank his neck.

"Marshal, after hearing your story, your senior brother certainly had a much worse experience than you. After that, didn't you go on the journey to the West? Your senior brother should have learned his lesson on the journey, right?" Zhang Fu asked.

"Of course. After going through so much, he must have figured it out after lying at the foot of the mountain for five hundred years."

"My eldest brother is incredibly shrewd on the road. He doesn't fight any monsters with powerful backers, but he beats the ones without any backing to death. Isn't that clever?"

"Hahaha, he's learned his lesson!" Zhu Gaoxu laughed.

"It's more than just learning a lesson; it's about understanding life!" Xue Lu said with a smile, raising his glass.

"So, in the end, heaven and earth are all the same," Pigsy concluded, raising his wine cup.

Everyone burst into laughter and raised their glasses in a toast.