My Wandering Swordsman

I was pushed to the very back by the crowd and plopped down on the floor. Just as I settled in, someone sat down next to me. They had a faint smell of laundry detergent, which wasn't unpleasant.

I looked up instinctively.

Eyes facing each other.

I was stunned.

She was stunned.

This is really bizarre. There are actually little girls who like to admire human butts? What's even more absurd is that I've seen this kind of little girl before.

A ponytail, cute little tiger teeth, and a pair of round, bright eyes...

Isn't that the little girl who scolded me on the train?

"It's you?" We both spoke almost at the same time, our voices colliding and then falling silent simultaneously.

"What are you yelling for? Sit down!"

The police ignored this, grabbed the little girl and made her sit next to me, then turned around and went to arrest the next one.

The girl was pushed forward and almost lost her balance, her elbow bumping into me lightly. Even so, she reacted with disgust, wiping her arm with her clothes as if she'd touched poop, while continuing her usual train-like chatter:

"rogue."

Oh my god.

I was furious.

You insulted me on the train, and I didn't argue with you. I admit I was staring at someone's butt back then, and I admit I was wrong. But look at yourself now, you were dragged out of that underground movie theater yourself.

There were two buses with dozens of men in total, and she was the only woman there, which was quite conspicuous.

A dung beetle is criticizing a fly; who's cleaner?

I spat and scoffed, "Heh, you little brat, if you weren't a pervert, why would you be here in the middle of the night looking at butts?"

Her face flushed instantly, and after a few trembling movements, she finally managed to utter a single sentence:

"No, no, no... I'm different from you. I looked at it critically, with a purpose!"

I was so angry I laughed out loud; I almost laughed my back teeth out.

"Haha, so you've come here to criticize vulgarity?"

"What are you criticizing? Are you criticizing whether the two people on the screen are moving properly?"

"you--"

She angrily turned her head to the side, leaving me with only the back of her head, and her ponytail swung back, almost hitting my face.

Several more people got into the car. Two policemen, holding the door open, counted heads on either side: "Is everyone here?"

"Two cars, thirty-seven in total, all set!"

"Okay, bring them all back."

The car door slammed shut with a bang, the latch clicked, and the carriage immediately became much quieter.

The engine sputtered twice, and the car swayed a few times before a middle-aged man suddenly stood up and shouted to the policeman at the door, "Comrade! Comrade! I have something to say."

The policeman turned to look at him: "Speak."

The man adjusted his glasses, his face solemn: "Comrade, I'm a teacher. I came in to give my students a cautionary lesson, to encourage them to consciously fight against illegal activities. I came here with the intention of condemning such harmful content. Comrade, you can believe me..."

I raised an eyebrow.

Are there still talented people?

The police officer, of course, didn't believe such nonsense and sized the man up and down: "You're here to give a lesson to your students?"

"Yes, yes, I am a middle school Chinese teacher, teaching the ninth grade. The students are in their adolescence and need proper guidance the most."

"So you picked the best spot and didn't even pull your pants up?"

The middle-aged man choked, even his eyelids behind his glasses reddened: "I..."

Laughter erupted in the carriage.

"Alright, alright," the policeman waved his hand impatiently, his flashlight beam sweeping around the carriage. "Stop with your tricks and go back to your seat."

He paused, cleared his throat, and raised his voice:

"Listen up, all of you. Don't try to get close to me. Once we get to the station, cooperate with the investigation. You're just here to watch a DVD, it's nothing serious. As long as you're not the organizer, just cooperate with us to give a statement, sign something, pay a deposit, and we'll contact your family to come and pick you up. That's it."

Many people breathed a sigh of relief.

I was the only one who was stunned.

Contact the family?

I don't have any family members whatsoever!

If I had family, I wouldn't have been locked up in the welfare home for more than half a year. At this moment, I really wanted to raise my hand and ask what to do if I didn't have family, but when I saw the policeman's face, which was as black as the bottom of a pot, I swallowed the words on the tip of my tongue.

Just as I was fretting over this, I glanced at the girl out of the corner of my eye. The little girl's brows were furrowed, almost forming deep lines, and she was biting her lower lip, looking even more anxious than I was.

Perhaps sensing my gaze, she suddenly turned her head to look at me.

We stared at each other for three seconds.

Her eyes suddenly lit up, revealing two cute little tiger teeth: "You!"

"What?" I replied irritably, already feeling annoyed.

She looked around to make sure no one was paying attention to us, then leaned close to me and whispered, "How about we pretend to be husband and wife?"

I thought I'd misheard, and stared at her wide-eyed: "What did you say?"

The girl glanced at me sideways, as if I were an idiot: "What? You really want your family to come to the police station to pick you up?"

I immediately shook my head.

"That's right." She lowered her voice and spoke quickly. "We'll pretend to be dating. When we get to the station, you'll say you secretly came to see this kind of indecent stuff, and your wife is the one who found out something was wrong and followed me all the way here to catch me, only to find out it was a prostitution raid. Then we'll sign each other's papers, and we'll both be out."

I thought to myself that this was a good idea, but then I thought, wasn't it a bit too undignified?

So I asked, "Can we switch roles, and I take you home?"

She rolled her eyes at me: "Is that reasonable?"

"..."

I was speechless.

Although I was extremely unwilling, I had no other choice at the moment. So I gritted my teeth and nodded emphatically.

The little girl stopped dawdling, her big eyes darted around a few times, and she quickly pulled out her ID card from her pocket and quietly slipped it into my hand.

"Give me your ID card too. Make sure you remember all your personal information and don't let anything slip."

"oh oh."

I followed suit and handed over my ID card as well.

The little girl held it between two fingers, quickly glanced at it in the dim light from the streetlamp outside the window, and started muttering to herself, her lips moving as if she were memorizing my ID number and address.

I couldn't just sit idly by, so I held her ID card in my palm and quickly scanned it.

"Ruan Tang, from Guangxi, ID number... Oh my? She's the same age as me..."

I couldn't help but glance at her again.

Yes, she is indeed quite pretty, with a pair of small tiger teeth hidden under her lips, making her look sweet and playful. The name Ruan Tang makes her even sweeter.

Unfortunately, neither her appearance nor her name matched her personality at all.

After all, what 18-year-old girl would go to an underground screening room to watch a movie?