My Wandering Swordsman

That noon, the production assistant, Niu, "gifted" us a boxed lunch.

I didn't say much, avoided the gazes of the two monks, casually found a corner, and quickly finished my meal.

In the afternoon, it was time to "familiarize ourselves with the work." Although some of us were veteran extras, every production is different, and the tasks of extras naturally vary as well.

Familiarizing oneself with the script beforehand is a necessary procedure for extras before joining the crew.

Of course, we mediocre extras are different from the main characters. It's impossible for us to be given a script to examine. The so-called "familiarity with the business" that the production manager talks about just means taking us around the set a few times.

He led us to the filming location and gestured towards a corner of the courtyard with his lip: "Alright, go watch from the side and learn from their positioning and steps."

Yes, the show has begun.

An old man sat down on the dragon throne, and several people dressed in Qing Dynasty official robes knelt on the ground below him. Another plump woman with a Manchu hairstyle was kneeling at the old man's feet, crying loudly.

"Your Majesty, you can't treat me like this!"

The old man in the dragon robe slammed his hand on the armrest: "You still have the nerve to call me Emperor? When you were having an affair with the imperial guards, did you never think of me as the Emperor?"

"Your Majesty, I am innocent!"

"That day, I was merely admiring the flowers in the Imperial Garden when, unexpectedly, the guard got drunk and insisted on reciting poetry with me..."

"Shut up, you filthy woman! Did I accidentally conjure up a pair of twins in your belly while we were reciting poetry?!"

"puff--"

The sunflower seed shells in my mouth sprayed out.

The minister kneeling beside him risked his life to remonstrate:

"Your Majesty, please reconsider. Consort Rong, she..."

The old man in the dragon robe grabbed the inkstone from the table and threw it at him: "Shut up! You lackey of the Ninth Prince."

I watched as the inkstone flew past and hit the minister on the forehead. The minister cried out and fell backward, his official hat and plume tilting to one side.

I laughed so hard my shoulders were shaking.

What are all these things?

It's true I'm not very educated, but I've listened to plenty of storytelling. And now there's this whole "Nine Princes' Succession Struggle" and "Nine Thousand Years Old" thing—isn't this just absurd?

Besides, what prime minister did the Qing Dynasty have?

If the storyteller heard these lines, he'd definitely crawl out of the radio.

Some people said, "Didn't the production crew tell you to learn about stage positioning and footwork? Why did you come here to watch the play?"

All I can say to that is, learning opera? Learn my ass!

I, Ji Xiaosong, am not here to be an extra. I'm just trying to make a living. I came to Hengdian to find that woman.

Oh right, three moles.

I quickly composed myself and started ogling the actresses' buttocks.

This person has a small butt.

That butt is flat.

They're wearing such thick clothes, you can't see anything.

......

The day passed quickly, the film crew dispersed, and we extras went home, thus ending our so-called onboarding training.

Before we left, one of the assistants told us to come over first thing tomorrow morning to officially participate in filming.

We nodded to each other and walked out in silence.

By the time I left the film studio, the sun was only a few patches of orange-red.

I paused, and noticed that the extras who had been waiting for work at the gate this morning had been replaced by a group of small vendors pushing carts—selling boxed lunches, fruits, and daily necessities—their shouts rising and falling.

As the saying goes, where there are people, there is business, and that's so true.

I bought some snacks, a few cans of beer, and some bedding. Following the directions my assistant gave me, I headed back to my dormitory.

After about ten minutes, rows of corrugated iron houses appeared on the roadside.

The structure has two floors, and the base of the walls is piled with cigarette butts and empty wine bottles, which look like they've been there for a long time.

139, 140, 141...

We've arrived at room 143.

The door was ajar and not locked at all, so other roommates must have already returned.

Without thinking much, I reached out and pushed my way in.

There were two canopy beds inside, making a total of four beds.

At this moment, bedding has been laid out on both lower bunks.

My two roommates were squatting on the ground, sitting around a square stool, eating cornbread.

Hearing the door open, the two of them turned to look at me at the same time.

Four eyes... no, six eyes facing each other.

Holy crap!

The three of us shouted at the same time: "Flowery Monk," "Thief Boy," and "Me."

My mind went blank for a moment, and I knew I was doomed.

Just what I feared most has come to pass. This morning I was praying I wouldn't run into these two, and now look what happened, we're sharing a room.

The monk in the bathrobe was the first to react. He slammed his steamed bun on the ground, stood up abruptly, and stared intently at me with his bull-like eyes.

"Good lad!"

"I've been looking for you for two days, and you just showed up at my door."

The thief jumped up, hid behind the monk, pointed at me and said, "Brother, it's him! He's the one who hit me, he's the one who took our money."

I knew there was no way to avoid it, so I simply tossed the things aside, cracked my wrists, and sneered:

"Bullshit! What do you mean by taking your money? You swindled my money first, and before I even settled accounts with you, you started attacking me."

"Stop talking nonsense!"

The monk roared and grabbed my collar with his large hand: "If you took my money, you'd better spit it out."

I sidestepped his grab and simultaneously kicked him in a certain spot.

The monk suddenly raised his knee, and my kick landed squarely on his knee. Given his physique, the monk only swayed slightly and was completely unharmed.

"Heh, I've been on guard against you, you Foshan kid."

The monk sneered, took a lunge forward, and slammed his fist, the size of a sandbag, straight at my face.

I dared not be careless, so I crossed my arms and braced myself.

"Bang"

Arms are numb.

This bald man is as strong as a water buffalo.

There was no time to sigh, the Flower Monk's second punch had already arrived.

I ducked to avoid it, and the fist grazed my scalp. I seized the opportunity to sweep my leg across the opponent's chest.

Didn't win again!

Although the Flower Monk looked big and burly, he was actually very stable. He dodged the attack with a jump and then used the momentum to kick me in the chest.

I barely managed to dodge it with a lazy roll, looking utterly pathetic.

At that moment, I glanced out of the corner of my eye and noticed a dark figure appearing behind me.

The thief had crept up behind me without me noticing, and picked up a wire, seemingly intending to stab me in the shin.

I was furious, so I grabbed an empty beer bottle and smashed it at the thief.

The thief was extremely agile; he ducked low, and the beer bottle shattered against the wall.

"You little punk, you stabbed me in the back?" I cursed.

"That's exactly what I'm going to do!"

Taking advantage of the opening, the Flower Monk rushed forward again.

I knew the room was cramped and I couldn't move around much, so I took advantage of the situation and slipped out of the door.

The Flower Monk and the Thief Boy followed closely behind.

The open space outside is much more spacious now.

I assumed a fighting stance and stared at the Flower Monk.

"You damned monk, stop hitting me, you can't take me down."

My intention was to settle things peacefully; there was no need to make a big fuss over such a small matter.

The Flower Monk followed him out, spitting out a mouthful of spittle: "Bullshit! You think I can't take you down? I'll beat two of you with one hand!"