Three Kingdoms: Start by buying a governor.

Thus, all three members of the "Buttocks Trio" found love, becoming a major tale in Zhuoxian County.

In teahouses and taverns, storytellers turned this into jokes: "It is said that when General Dian Wei went on a blind date, the first thing he asked was, 'How big is your butt?' General Xu Chu was even more direct, wanting his wife to have seven or eight children... This isn't a blind date, it's looking for helpers to have babies!"

The people laughed heartily, not finding it vulgar at all, but rather finding these generals quite endearing. In chaotic times, the ability to have children was indeed a crucial factor.

...

The matchmaking paths of other military generals and strategists were much more normal, but each had its own unique characteristics.

Zhang Fei was straightforward and hated pretentious behavior.

Zhen Tuo introduced him to the daughter of a butcher, surnamed Wang, who was a "suitable match" in terms of social status.

Miss Wang helped her father slaughter pigs and sell meat from a young age. She was strong, had a fiery temper, and her voice was almost as loud as Zhang Fei's.

The two met at the butcher shop.

Watching Miss Wang swiftly chop open half a pig's bone with her knife, Zhang Fei's eyes lit up, and he exclaimed, "What strength!"

Miss Wang wiped her hands, glanced at him, and said, "You're General Zhang? I've heard you're strong. How about we arm wrestle?"

Zhang Fei chuckled and said, "What's there to be afraid of! Come on!"

The two men arm wrestled on the meat counter, surrounded by onlookers.

Zhang Fei intended to let her win, but he didn't expect Miss Wang to be so strong... In the end, Zhang Fei definitely won.

Miss Wang wasn't upset about losing; she grinned and said, "General Zhang truly lives up to his reputation! I'm convinced!"

Zhang Fei slammed his hand on the table and exclaimed, "This is the girl! She's just like me! Perfect!"

Zhen Tuo watched from the side and shook his head. These two were like a turtle eyeing a green bean, they just hit it off.

Qin Qiong's blind date was arranged by Ren Hongchang.

The other party is the daughter of the owner of "Jishetang", the largest pharmacy in Zhuoxian County, and her surname is Li.

Miss Li is gentle and considerate. Hearing that Qin Qiong must have old injuries from years of fighting, she specially brought her family's traditional ointment.

"General Qin, this plaster is most effective for sprains and bruises, please try it," Miss Li said softly.

Qin Qiong took the plaster and felt a warmth in his heart.

He's often away from home, and when he gets injured, he just gets a bandage done haphazardly. Who would take such good care of him?

The two chatted about everyday things, and Qin Qiong talked about his experiences traveling the world in his early years, which Li listened to with great interest.

When Miss Li recounted the interesting stories about the pharmacy, Qin Qiong found them fascinating.

They got along remarkably well after a while.

Before leaving, Qin Qiong solemnly clasped his hands in a fist and said, "Miss Li, I am a rough man, but if you don't mind..."

"General Qin, what are you saying?" Miss Li blushed slightly. "General, you fight for the country and are a great hero. I... am willing."

And so, they've become a couple again.

Yuchi Gong was straightforward, and he married a blacksmith's daughter who was equally straightforward. Their life together was like blacksmithing, full of clanging and banging, lively and fulfilling.

Luo was handsome, a good shot, and had a cold personality, so ordinary girls didn't dare to approach him.

Cai Yan found him a schoolteacher's daughter, surnamed Lin.

Miss Lin is proficient in all the arts, including music, chess, calligraphy, and painting. She is quiet by nature, but gentle on the outside and strong on the inside.

The two sat in the pavilion, one playing the zither, the other listening. Miss Lin was playing "High Mountains and Flowing Water," and Luo Cheng listened quietly, a hint of tenderness appearing on his usually stern face.

As the music ended, Luo Cheng said softly, "Miss Lin's musical skills are superb; I admire them."

Miss Lin looked up at him, her face slightly flushed, and said, "General, you flatter me. I've heard that your marksmanship is divine; I'd like to see for myself what kind of skill you possess."

"If the young lady doesn't mind, I, Luo, can demonstrate it another day."

"Well... I'll be watching."

Later... Luo Cheng practiced his spear, and Miss Lin played the zither. The music and the sound of the spear harmonized, creating a wonderful tacit understanding.

Look, now that's what a blind date looks like! The maids who were secretly watching covered their mouths and laughed. General Luo, that iron tree, is finally going to bloom!

Later, Luo Cheng took the initiative to ask Cai Yan to mediate, which became a well-known story in the Youzhou army. Even the cold-faced Luo Cheng with his silver spear had moments of gentleness.

On Xu Da and Xue Rengui's side.

Both of them are commanders, and their blind date was like a military strategy.

After meeting the three girls, Xu Da drew a table on a piece of paper, listing items such as "family background", "character", "talent" and "appearance", and scored them one by one.

In the end, they chose a girl from a middle-class family, surnamed Chen, whose scores were the most balanced across all categories.

Xue Rengui was even more direct; his first question to a young woman was, "If I'm away fighting battles for years to come, can you manage the household affairs?"

The other party was the daughter of a minor official, surnamed Zhao. Miss Zhao said neither humbly nor arrogantly, "The general is loyal to the country, and I should guard the rear. Family matters are trivial, but I will do my best."

Xue Rengui nodded and said, "Alright, you're the one."

Zhang Liao, Zhang He, and Xu Huang, all known for their composure, chose girls from similar family backgrounds and with virtuous character.

Gao Shun was the most special; he also took a liking to a blacksmith's daughter, for a simple reason: "The way she focused when she was forging iron was very much like training soldiers."

Yuwen Chengdu had high standards; after much deliberation, he finally chose a young lady from a fallen aristocratic family.

Although the girl's family had fallen on hard times, she was well-educated and reasonable, and her beautiful handwriting impressed even the rough-looking Yuwen Chengdu.

Wen Chou and Yan Liang, this pair of lovable clowns, even go on blind dates together.

Wen Chou took a liking to a straightforward girl, and Yan Liang chimed in, "My brother is honest; the girl won't lose out by marrying him!"

As it turned out, the girl's friend took a liking to Yan Liang, and the two couples got engaged together.

Yu Jin was meticulous, selecting a wife as if she were a soldier. He listed several criteria, and in the end, he actually found one who met all of them: the daughter of a county magistrate, who had even more rules than him.

Taishi Ci was a filial son, so he specially returned to Donglai to bring his elderly mother to see him.

The old lady took a fancy to a fisherwoman and said, "She has a big bottom, which is good for childbirth, and she can also work." Taishi Xiaozi agreed without hesitation.

People like Gao Lan, Qu Yi, Zhou Cang, and Pei Yuanshao either sought out fellow villagers or those who were down-to-earth and lived a stable life.

Guo Jia's marriage was the most interesting.

He himself was a dissolute man. Ordinary ladies from respectable families disliked his drinking and debauchery, while girls from modest families were afraid they couldn't control him.

Finally, Zhang Ning found a remarkable woman from the common people. Her surname was Su, and her father was a traveling doctor. She had traveled all over the country with her father and was very knowledgeable. She was clever and witty, and also knew some medical skills and could keep Guo Jia in check when he drank.

When Guo Jia first met Miss Su, she said, "Chancellor Guo, I've heard you're a heavy drinker? I have some hangover pills here, would you like to try them?"

Guo Jia became interested and asked, "Oh? You know medicine, young lady?"

Miss Su blinked and said, "Not only do I know medicine, but I can also brew wine. I can brew wine that will knock you out after just three cups, believe it or not?"

Guo Jia laughed loudly, "I don't believe it! I, Guo, have drunk my way through the world and have never been drunk!"

That very night, Guo Jia was knocked out by three cups of "Su's Secret Brew (vodka)," and the next day he had a splitting headache.

Miss Su brought in a bowl of hangover soup, smiling as she asked, "Chancellor Guo, would you like some more?"

Guo Jia stared at her for a long time, then suddenly slammed his hand on the table and said, "You're the one! You're the only one in the world who can stop me from drinking! Marry me!"

This girl can tell jokes, drink with him, banter with him, and even keep an eye on his drinking.

Guo Jia was so happy that he exclaimed, "To have such a kindred spirit in life is enough!"

It's like being controlled to drink after marriage, a bittersweet experience.