Three Kingdoms: Start by buying a governor.

As soon as the decree was issued, those eunuchs who were usually arrogant and domineering instantly fell from grace and into the mire.

Zhang Rang, Zhao Zhong, and the others, like stray dogs, scrambled to the gate of the General's Mansion. Disregarding all decorum, they kowtowed repeatedly, their foreheads slamming against the bluestone slabs with a resounding thud. Blood streamed down their faces as they wept uncontrollably.

"General, spare us! General! We know we were wrong! Please, General, have mercy and give us a way out! We are willing to hand over all our possessions, just so we can return home safely and live as farmers... no, as ordinary citizens! We will do whatever you wish with us!"

Seeing these once arrogant eunuchs groveling at his feet, He Jin felt his vanity was greatly satisfied.

He waved his hand dismissively, feigning magnanimity, and said, "Alas, the world is in turmoil because of you all... You should all leave the capital immediately, return to your hometowns, live peacefully, and refrain from causing any further trouble!"

Yuan Shao, his eyes red with anxiety, grabbed He Jin's sleeve and roared, "General! Hesitation will only lead to more trouble! These people are a scourge to the country and its people, their crimes are unforgivable! Now is the perfect opportunity to nip them in the bud and eliminate them forever! How can we let them return to the mountains? Kill them! Kill them all!"

Looking at the group of weeping, harmless old eunuchs at his feet, He Jin's penchant for playing the "merciful general" kicked in. He was determined to release them: "They are already like stray dogs; why drive them to extermination? My mind is made up; no further words are needed!"

Yuan Shao was so angry he almost fainted, and in his mind he cursed He Jin's ancestors for eighteen generations.

Okay, if you won't kill, I will!

He left the General's Mansion with a gloomy face, and upon returning, he played a dirty trick: he secretly issued a "secret order" in the name of the General's Mansion to all prefectures and counties, ordering local officials to immediately arrest and detain all the relatives and family members of the eunuchs who had been repatriated!

He wanted to use this method to force the eunuchs into a corner, or at least make their journey difficult.

...

Council Hall of the Prince of Yan's Palace, Zhuo County, Youzhou.

Sunlight streamed through the window and fell on the smooth wooden floor.

The hall was filled with the aroma of tea. Liu Ce leaned comfortably against a cushioned couch, holding a piece of intelligence in his hand, reading it with great interest, occasionally letting out a soft laugh.

Fang Xuanling, Du Ruhui, Xun Yu, Guo Jia, Xi Zhicai, Jia Xu and other core strategists sat on both sides, each with a copy of the intelligence summary in front of them.

"Look everyone, the show that our General He has directed in Luoyang is truly spectacular, with one climax after another."

"Hahahaha! He Jin... he's utterly stupid, a complete idiot!"

Guo Jia said lazily, "My lord, He Jin's actions are so outrageous they could be made into a play. I've even thought of a title: in your words, 'The Foolish General's Path to Destruction.'"

Fang Xuanling quickly glanced at the document, shook his head, and sighed: "He was stubborn and indecisive; he befriended frivolous people and rejected the advice of loyal and virtuous officials; he could not control the inner palace, nor could he intimidate powerful vassal states. He wanted to accomplish great things but hesitated and looked back, and when he tried to eliminate minor troubles, he invited wolves into the trap. The failure of He Jin is already evident."

Du Ruhui interjected, his tone calm yet sharp: "What is even more laughable is that he rejected Lu Zigan's advice to summon the lord, and instead invited Dong Zhuo into the capital. This is not because he was unaware of Dong Zhuo's evil, but because he was driven by selfish motives, fearing that the lord's entry into Luoyang would diminish his power. To disregard the safety of the court for one's own selfish interests is either stupid or wicked, or perhaps both."

Xun Yu's expression was solemn, filled with deep regret as he said, "Luoyang is the capital, the foundation of the empire. He Jin's actions are like trying to put out a fire with firewood, or even carrying firewood into a burning house. Once Dong Zhuo's wolfish army enters, it will likely be more than just eliminating the eunuchs. The court's discipline will be utterly destroyed. How tragic, how lamentable."

Guo Jia was the most relaxed, even somewhat gloating, laughing, "Wenruo, why worry? I think He Jin is simply sent by heaven to clean up the mess for our lord. He himself has turned Luoyang into a mess, ruined his reputation, and then let that vicious wolf Dong Zhuo in to bite people. When they've both exhausted themselves, or when the world has completely lost hope in them... hehe, that will be the best time for our Youzhou troops to march south, commemorate the people, punish the guilty, and rebuild our country! General He, what a good man!"

Xi Zhicai smiled knowingly and said, "What Fengxiao said may be crude, but it makes sense. He Jin and Yuan Shao are ambitious but incompetent, and eager for quick success and instant benefits. The deeper their schemes, the faster their disaster will come. We only need to observe the situation, strengthen our troops, and stockpile provisions. After the bloodshed in Luoyang, when the people's hearts are at peace, the Mandate of Heaven will be in our hands, my lord."

Jia Xu, unperturbed, slowly added, "The Embroidered Uniform Guards in Luoyang should be even more careful. In this chaotic situation, they must not only ensure their own safety but also keep an eye on the movements of key figures, such as... that Prince of Chenliu."

Xun You said with a solemn expression, "My lord, a great change is about to happen in Luoyang. Dong Zhuo is a wolf in sheep's clothing; once he enters the capital, he will surely cause chaos. We should prepare as soon as possible."

Fang Xuanling nodded and said, "Bingzhou has been pacified, and Jizhou has been initially stabilized. Our lord now commands three provinces, with well-trained troops and ample supplies. No matter how Luoyang changes, we are already in an invincible position."

Du Ruhui concluded: "Observe the situation calmly and wait for the right opportunity."

As Liu Ce listened to his top strategists analyze the mess in Luoyang thoroughly and expose the true intentions of He Jin and Yuan Shao, he felt pleased.

He stretched.

"Yes, He Jin is really... so stupid it's heartbreaking."

Liu Ce said leisurely, "However, his fuss has saved us a lot of trouble. Notify Xu Da and Xue Rengui that the defenses of Bing and Ji provinces need to be even more stringent. Within You province, the various new policies must continue to be implemented without delay. As for us, let's first tidy up our own quarters, fill the granaries, and polish the armor."

He turned around, his gaze sweeping over the crowd, a confident smile on his face as if he had everything under control:

"Then, let's watch closely and see how this grand drama in Luoyang will end."

...

August of the sixth year of Zhongping.

The grand spectacle in Luoyang City has finally reached its climax.

The play was called "The Foolish General He's Path to Death," directed by He Jin himself, written by Yuan Shao, with Dong Zhuo making a cameo appearance, and a group of eunuchs who were so scared they wet their pants playing minor roles. As for the audience, the people from the Yan Prince's Mansion in Zhuo County, Youzhou, were eating melon seeds and drinking tea, watching with great interest.

Speaking of He Jin, he was genuinely cowardly and genuinely simple-minded.

He Jin dragged on for two months with his plan to kill the eunuchs. The secrecy was comparable to that of a market broadcast. From beginning to end, it was leaked like a honeycomb briquette, completely transparent.