Three Kingdoms: Start by buying a governor.

He paused, then changed his tone, saying, "But! They assembled a large army without the Empress Dowager's permission, and without my permission as General of the Cavalry and Minister of the Imperial Secretariat. What is this? This is rebellion!"

"Should rebels be beaten?"

"Yes!" 50,000 people shouted in unison.

Liu Ce continued, "That old scoundrel Dong Zhuo deposed the emperor, attempted to poison the empress dowager but failed, and wreaked havoc on the court. Shouldn't he be punished?"

"Should!"

"Therefore, our journey south this time is to tell the world: the Han Dynasty is not for them to call the shots!"

"We must surround that entire anti-Dong Zhuo coalition!"

"We must capture that old scoundrel Dong Zhuo!"

"We must take back Luoyang and Chang'an!"

"I, Liu Ce, concurrently holding the positions of General of the Cavalry and Chancellor, have been ordered by the Empress Dowager to march south and quell the rebellion!"

"Today, we'll teach them what rules are! What the law is!"

Below the platform, the soldiers roared in unison, "Kill! Kill! Kill!"

Liu Ce drew his long sword from his waist, the tip pointing straight south, and said:

"Set off!"

The drums thundered and the horns blared.

The 50,000-strong army marched south in a grand procession.

Liu Ce, mounted on his horse, glanced back at the city wall of Zhuoxian.

On the city wall, Cai Yan, along with her wives and children, was watching him go.

He waved his hand, then turned and rode south.

Meanwhile, the Second Army set out from Bingzhou and headed straight for Luoyang and Chang'an.

The Third Army set off from Jizhou and headed straight for Hulao Pass.

The three armies, like three sharp knives, simultaneously pierced the heart of Guanzhong.

...

half a month later.

Liu Ce led the First Army and arrived near Suanzao.

Meanwhile, the two statements spread throughout the world.

The first document was issued in the name of Empress Dowager He Lian:

"I do not recognize the emperor installed by Dong Zhuo! Liu Xie was not installed by the late emperor; he was deposed and installed by Dong Zhuo on his own initiative. His rule is illegitimate and unjust! The people of the world should reject him!"

The second document was issued in the capacity of Liu Ce, the Prince of Yan, General of the Cavalry, and Grand Secretary:

"I do not recognize the emperor and court installed by Dong Zhuo! Furthermore, the nineteen-route coalition has assembled a large army without the consent of the Empress Dowager and myself. What is their intention? This is rebellion! I will personally lead a large army south to quell the rebellion. All those who participated in the coalition must disband immediately, or they will be punished for treason!"

The two statements caused a global uproar.

Some people clapped and cheered, saying that the Prince of Yan had finally made a move.

Some people cursed loudly, saying that Liu Ce was taking advantage of someone's misfortune.

Some people gloated, saying that this was going to be a good show.

But no matter what, everyone knows...

This day is about to change.

...

Hulao Pass, the residence of Dong Zhuo.

Dong Zhuo was drinking with the beauty he had just captured.

Since arriving at Hulao Pass, he has been drinking every day to relieve his boredom. The battle at the front line is at a stalemate with the allied forces. Although Guo Si and others are good fighters, the allied forces are too numerous, and it is difficult to determine a winner for a while.

Suddenly, the scout rushed in, stumbling and crawling:

"Report! Your Excellency! Something terrible has happened!"

Dong Zhuo was so frightened that he trembled and spilled wine all over himself.

He slammed his fist on the table in anger and said:

"What's wrong now?"

The scout knelt on the ground and stammered:

"Yan...King Liu Ce of Yan has issued a proclamation! He says...he doesn't recognize the emperor you installed! He also says the allied forces are rebelling! He...he personally led his army south to quell the rebellion!"

Dong Zhuo paused for a second.

two seconds.

three seconds.

Then, he laughed in exasperation.

"Ha ha ha ha......"

He laughed so hard he was doubled over, his fat jiggling, and tears streamed down his face.

After laughing, he slammed his hand on the table, which shattered instantly.

"Liu Ce! You fucking won't admit it, why didn't you say so sooner! Huh!"

"It's been so long, and you're only now denying it! Are you trying to make yourself look bad?"

"You fucking took advantage of my misfortune! While I was locked in a fierce battle with the Allied forces, you stabbed me in the back! Are you even human?!"

"Liu Ce, you bastard! You stabbed me in the back while I was fighting! Have you no shame?!"

"And what's with this 'without the Empress Dowager's consent' nonsense? You've already taken the Empress Dowager away! You can tell her to issue whatever statement she wants! Do you think I don't know?"

"Treat it as 'treason'? Me, treason? You're the one who's treasonous! Your whole family is treasonous!"

He started swearing, using the most vulgar and offensive language imaginable:

"Liu Ce, you dog! Bastard! Beast! Scoundrel! Hypocrite! Two-faced scoundrel! You just wait! I'll tear you to pieces! Cut you into a thousand pieces! Dismember you by five horses! Burn you alive!"

He got angrier and angrier as he cursed, sweeping everything off the table onto the floor—the wine pot, wine glasses, fruit plate, and bowls shattered everywhere.

The beautiful woman next to him was so frightened that she huddled in the corner, trembling.

Just then, Li Ru rushed in.

"My lord! My lord! Something terrible has happened!"

Dong Zhuo glared and said, "I know it's bad! Do you need to tell me?"

Li Ru wiped his sweat and said, "My lord, now is not the time to curse! We need to think of a solution quickly!"

"What idea do you have? Tell me!"

Li Ru, panting, said, "My lord, we must hurry back to Luoyang! Stop fighting the allied forces! Go back to Luoyang to pack our things; we're not staying here! Chang'an is strategically important, and Hangu Pass is there to block our way. Let's move the capital there! Even if Liu Ce comes, he won't be able to do anything to us!"

Upon hearing this, Dong Zhuo's eyes lit up and he said:

"Great idea! Let's get ready now!"

He had just made his decision when another scout rushed in and said:

"Reporting to the Prime Minister! Something terrible has happened! A massive army has appeared in our rear, towards Luoyang! The banners bear the characters 'Liu,' 'King of Yan,' and 'Xue'... They are well-equipped, and their numbers are overwhelming!"

Upon hearing this, Li Ru's face turned deathly pale.

"Are you telling the truth!"

The scout, his face contorted with grief, exclaimed, "It's true! Absolutely true! Our escape route has been cut off!"

Li Ru's legs went weak, and he almost knelt down.

He turned to look at Dong Zhuo, his voice trembling as he said:

"My lord...our escape route is cut off...by the Prince of Yan..."

Dong Zhuo stood there, stunned.

Three seconds later...

"Liu Ce!!! I curse your ancestors for eight generations!!!"

A roar shook the roof tiles.

In that voice, there was anger, resentment, fear, and a tiny bit of... despair.

He knew he might really be finished.

He started swearing again, even more rudely than before, spewing out all sorts of profanities.

He suddenly stopped cursing and looked at Li Ru:

"Wenyou, what...what do we do?"

Li Ru's face was pale, and his lips trembled for a long time before he finally managed to squeeze out a sentence:

"My lord, now... we have no choice but to fight."

"The allied forces are in front, and the Youzhou army is behind. We're stuck in the middle."

"Either we fight our way out of the encirclement and march back to Luoyang."

"Or...?"

He didn't go on.

But Dong Zhuo knew.

Either die here.

Dong Zhuo plopped down on the couch, his two-hundred-pound body causing the couch to creak.

He looked up to the sky and sighed:

"Why am I so unlucky?!"

...