I am a wandering immortal in the mortal realm.

"Greetings, layman!" The Taoist bowed and greeted him with a smile.

He watches a lot of Douyin videos and knows how to play a qualified Taoist priest. The way he waves his sleeves is simply ethereal, and he gets the proportions just right.

It truly lives up to the saying, "Practice until your body resembles a crane, and you can read two volumes of scriptures under a thousand pine trees."

He was almost completely captivated by Zheng Baozhu.

"Greetings, Daoist Master!"

Zheng Baozhu had so much to say, but could only stammer out a reply, her doe-like eyes sparkling.

Sister Hu tilted her head to look at her, and she felt like saliva was about to drip from the other woman's mouth, because the way she looked at the chicken was exactly the same as the other woman's.

Only then did Zheng Baozhu notice the fox at the Taoist's feet.

Its bright red and glossy fur, agile and slender body, long and pointed half-closed mouth that looks like a person smiling, and the white fur fluttering on its forehead are the finishing touch.

Zheng Baozhu's eyes lit up. Although foxes were not considered benevolent creatures in storybooks, she had been going into the mountains for many years and loved reading, so she was bolder than most men. Not only was she not afraid of foxes, she even eagerly approached them.

"Master, is this your pet fox?"

Zheng Baozhu reached out to touch it, but then heard a hiss. The fox took a step back, arched its back, and revealed its sharp teeth, looking ready to bite.

"Oh dear, she's so fierce!" Zheng Baozhu quickly withdrew her hand, looking at the Taoist priest with a pitiful expression, as if hoping that the other party would put in a good word for her so that she could touch him.

The fox only flinched briefly before calming its bristling fur and quietly crouching at the Taoist's feet, slowly licking its front paws. It occasionally glanced at Zheng Baozhu with utter contempt, as if to say, "The Taoist can touch me because he's capable. What kind of person are you to be worthy of being compared to him?"

Zheng Baozhu saw it clearly and was shocked. Pointing at the fox, she said incredulously, "Taoist...Taoist Master, was it just looking down on me?"

The Taoist priest glanced down at the fox, who instantly abandoned its lazy demeanor and stared back at him with a serious expression. Its narrow eyes were filled with unspeakable grievance: "Taoist priest, we agreed that I, a fox, would not sell myself!"

"Alas!" The Taoist priest chuckled and shook his head, saying to Zheng Baozhu, "You must have misjudged her. My fox is extremely polite; she would never do such a thing!"

"I'm sure I didn't see wrong, it's looking down on me!" Zheng Baozhu said with absolute certainty.

The Taoist simply waved his hand, and the fox, having received the order, wagged its tail and lazily headed towards the backyard.

Zheng Baozhu stared longingly at its retreating figure until it disappeared from sight, then whispered, "It's so clever, Daoist Master, is this your new pet?"

Shen Yuan shook his head: "Is the fox a fellow Daoist, and not a pet?"

Zheng Baozhu tilted her head to look at him: "Like that cow?"

Shen Yuan chuckled lightly, then said meaningfully, "What do you think, Layman?"

Zheng Baozhu glanced at him, somewhat puzzled, and pouted in annoyance, unusually acting coquettishly: "I really don't understand you Taoists, what kind of quirks are these?"

The Taoist priest smiled slightly, not wanting to dwell on the matter, and asked, "This humble Taoist priest seemed to be in a hurry just now. Did something urgent happen?"

Zheng Baozhu then seemed to suddenly remember the important matter, slapped her forehead, and exclaimed, "Oh dear, Daoist Master, it's because your fox is too cute, I almost forgot!"

She paused for a moment, then asked, "Master, did Zhuang Ping come here to cause trouble just now?"

Shen Yuan was taken aback, and looked down at her: "Why do you say that, Layman?"

Zheng Baozhu immediately adopted a gossipy tone and exaggeratedly said, "Master, you may not know this, but Zhuang Ping's house has been haunted these past few days!"

"Haunted?"

Shen Yuan frowned. How could it be haunted again after only a few days?

Could it be that the evil spirit from last time has returned?

Or was the old man just bored and came to chat with his son?

He asked calmly, "What exactly happened?"

Zheng Baozhu replied, "This story begins on the day of Uncle Zhuang's burial. Zhuang Pingfei claimed he had encountered a ghost and would wail incessantly every night, terrifying Sister Cui and Qingge'er to no end!"

Shen Yuan's heart skipped a beat, and he immediately thought of the strange behavior of the wooden sword on the day of the burial, and couldn't help but wonder: "Was it just crying?"

"Of course it's more than that!" Zheng Baozhu pouted, looking indignant. "I only found out afterward that my father actually paid a full five taels of silver for Uncle Zhuang's funeral—that was the money my brother was supposed to use to get married!"

At this point, she became quite aggressive, "At first, I thought Zhuang Ping did it on purpose, that he must be trying to cheat my family out of money again. I was furious, so that night I dragged my second brother to his house to confront him, and that's when we saw..."

"What do you see?" The Taoist priest noticed the faint fear in the other person's eyes and gently reassured him, "Don't be afraid, this is a Taoist temple. Heaven and Earth are above, and our patriarch is watching over us!"

Zheng Baozhu glanced at him, composed herself, and then said, somewhat stunned, "I...I saw Zhuang Ping trying to strangle Qing-ge'er!"

"What?"

Shen Yuan frowned deeply, his heart suddenly sinking. The events at the funeral that day were merely somewhat frightening, but had they now escalated to the point of taking a life?

He had read in the Zhengyi Daoist's "Records of the Underworld" that ghosts, though fierce, were not entirely without reason. If it really was Master Zhuang, surely he wouldn't harm even his own grandson?

But if it wasn't Old Master Zhuang, then where did this harmful evil spirit come from?

"And then?" Shen Yuan couldn't help but ask.

Zheng Baozhu said, "My second brother and I were startled. Seeing that Sister-in-law Cui was sleeping soundly, we rushed in and subdued her. It's strange..."

Zheng Baozhu abruptly changed the subject, and Shen Yuan couldn't help but look over. He heard her say, "After Zhuang Ping woke up, he acted as if he was completely oblivious. When we said he wanted to harm Qing Ge'er, he even accused us of trespassing and making false accusations. Can you believe it!"

Zheng Baozhu grew angrier as she spoke, her small chest heaving as she fanned herself with her hand, fine beads of sweat appearing on her nose...

Shen Yuan found it amusing and personally poured her a glass of cool boiled water, saying, "There's only plain water in the temple. Speak slowly, no rush!"

Zheng Baozhu accepted the tea, realizing her rudeness, and whispered with a slightly flushed face, "Thank you, Daoist Master!"

Shen Yuan waved his hand dismissively and said, "If what you say about Master Zhuang is true, then he must be in great danger. I wonder what has been done to his family?"

"Taoist Master, you are indeed kind!" Zheng Baozhu glanced at the Taoist, her eyes lighting up with admiration. "Although this matter is somewhat unbelievable, Sister Cui must have discovered something. After we finished talking about Zhuang Ping, she became very frightened and has now moved into my house with Qing Ge'er."

"Oh?"

"Yes!" Zheng Baozhu nodded. "Ever since that night, Zhuang Ping has become even more outrageous, wailing and screaming all night long, prostrating himself on the ground, saying things like, 'Father, please leave quickly, stop torturing your son...'"

"Is this really the work of Laozi and Zhuangzi?" Shen Yuan couldn't help but wonder.

"Who knows?" Zheng Baozhu's brows furrowed with worry. "Now people in town are gossiping, saying that you, Taoist priest, didn't perform the ritual well and disturbed Uncle Zhuang's peace after his death, which is why he's lingering here!"

As she spoke, her tone suddenly turned indignant: "Don't they remember that it was you, Taoist priest, who subdued the ghost that haunted the village that day!"

The Taoist priest simply smiled, seemingly unconcerned about what others were saying. After all, people can say whatever they want to say about you, and the more eager you are to explain, the more you'll fall into a self-proving trap.

The fact that the Taoist priest slew demons and displayed his supernatural powers at the funeral must have made many people anxious!

"Master, aren't you angry?" Zheng Baozhu felt a little disappointed when she saw that his expression remained indifferent and that she hadn't received any empathy from him. She couldn't help but ask.

"Why get angry?" The Taoist smiled at him. "The so-called rise and fall of a hundred years are like a dream, fleeting and indistinct. I only seek to have a clear conscience. Let them say what they want!"

"What a magnificent 'events of prosperity and decline over a century'! What a magnificent 'a clear conscience'!"

Zheng Baozhu recited it softly a few times, then her eyes suddenly brightened. When she looked at the Taoist priest again, she felt even more awe and couldn't help but praise him, "What you said, Taoist priest, is truly enlightening! I was just being too attached to appearances!"

The Taoist priest simply smiled and asked, "So, you've come here just to tell me these things?"

"Hi!" Zheng Baozhu blushed, her eyes darting around, and whispered, "Actually, Zhuang Ping was instigated by someone and insisted that you, Daoist Master, had secretly harmed him for money, and he's coming to settle accounts with you. I was a little worried, so I thought I'd come and remind you."

"Oh~"

Shen Yuan suddenly realized why he had vaguely heard a man's voice earlier, but when he came out he didn't see anyone. It seemed that his fox had sensed something and taken action in advance to resolve the trouble.

He turned to look at the fox eavesdropping behind him. The fox flicked its tail, smiled, and mouthed to the Taoist priest as if seeking praise: "You're welcome!"

Zheng Baozhu accidentally caught a glimpse of this scene, and her eyes widened instantly. She pointed at the fox, trembling, and cried out, "Taoist...Taoist Master, is your fox trying to talk? I...I feel its mouth moving!"

Shen Yuan: "..."

He took a deep breath and could only helplessly explain, "The layman must have mistaken me; my fox is just a little restless!"

"Really?" Zheng Baozhu clearly didn't believe it.

The Taoist priest nodded emphatically: "Of course!"

"Alright!" Zheng Baozhu didn't dwell on it any longer, but instead hesitated, "Daoist... Daoist Master, I have a small matter I'd like to ask you for a favor."

Shen Yuan said, "Please speak freely, layman!"

"Well..." Zheng Baozhu stammered for a while before finally saying, "Do you sell any talismans for warding off evil spirits here?"

As she spoke, she stole glances at the Taoist priest. She thought back to the last time she had shamelessly said "Confucius did not speak of strange phenomena, physical prowess, disorder, or spirits" in front of people, only to turn around and buy talismans. She was incredibly cowardly, and suddenly felt a sense of shame that her image had been ruined.

The Taoist priest didn't think too much about it and simply nodded: "I just drew six peace talismans a couple of days ago. How many would you like, sir?"

Zheng Baozhu counted the heads and realized that it wasn't even enough to cover one family, so she immediately decided, "I'll take them all!"

The Taoist priest paused in his hand as he reached for the talisman, then couldn't help but remind him, "Layman, why don't you ask about the price?"

Zheng Baozhu chuckled, "It's alright, Daoist Master. I came here today to buy amulets for good luck, and I brought plenty of money!"

However, she still went along with what the other person said and asked, "How much is one?"

The Taoist priest calmly held up three fingers.

"Hey, only thirty coins! That's much cheaper than the Jade Emperor Palace!"

Just as Zheng Baozhu was about to take out her money, she heard the Taoist's voice in her ear: "Three hundred coins!"

"Three...three hundred coins?"

Zheng Baozhu froze. She had only brought three hundred coins with her and was planning to go on a shopping spree, but she was told that she could only buy one!

Are all Taoist priests so unscrupulous when it comes to killing acquaintances?

Even though the other person was her idol, she was still a little unhappy and said, "Daoist Master, the peace charms from the Jade Emperor Palace only cost fifty coins!"

The Taoist priest gave her a deep look, then smiled and said, "Laywoman, the Tao is not easily bestowed. My talisman is precious for a reason!"

"Can it really ward off evil spirits?" Zheng Baozhu felt a chill run down her spine as he looked at her and couldn't help but ask.

The Taoist priest smiled but remained silent.

Zheng Baozhu gritted her teeth, but having already made up her mind, she reluctantly took out her purse: "Then... give me one!"

She was heartbroken. She should have known better than to brag. There were so many things she could have done with that money.

If the Taoist knew what she was thinking, he'd probably say: "Little sister, is this all the skill you have? You wouldn't even be qualified to vote for Pigeon in modern times!"

The Taoist priest accepted the money but handed over two talismans. Zheng Baozhu was taken aback, and then heard him say, "I am grateful for your concern, and I have come today to inform you that I would like to give you the other talisman!"

"Really?"

Zheng Baozhu was ripped off, but when she suddenly discovered that there was a buy-one-get-one-free offer, she was inexplicably moved.

"Master, I will definitely spread the word for you!"

The Taoist priest bowed, then stared intently at her and solemnly instructed, "The amulet must be kept close to your body, absolutely!"

Zheng Baozhu's heart tightened, and she stammered in agreement. When she left, she kept her hand tightly gripping the talisman.

"Master, are you going down the mountain to catch that evil spirit?" The fox couldn't help but ask when he remained silent for a long time.

The Taoist shook his head: "What you rush into is not a good deal. Those who are destined to meet will come down the mountain on their own."

The fox nodded, then suddenly pulled out a small abacus, nearly making the Taoist's eyes pop out of their sockets in surprise.

"Master Daoist, are you going to give me the money for the talismans?"

Shen Yuan's eye twitched, and he coughed dryly, saying, "Okay, okay!" Then he whispered a suggestion, "There's really no need to contact me so soon. I'll give it to you tonight."

The fox replied, "Having been entrusted with this task, I must be loyal to you. We fairies don't stand on ceremony. Since I've agreed to be the steward, every penny must be under my supervision!"

Shen Yuan had nothing to say. He took the money and gave it to the creature, who then muttered, "Three hundred coins for the Taoist temple's talismans can buy ten blue tiles..."

Then the fox raised its head again and solemnly instructed, "Next time, Daoist Master, you can't sell your talismans so cheaply, otherwise when will we ever be able to finish building the Daoist temple?"

Shen Yuan: "..."

Why do I keep feeling like I've been tricked by a fox?

……

Meanwhile, Zheng Baozhu bought amulets, emptying her savings, and couldn't help but look dejected.

As we descended the mountain, it was nearly noon, so we decided to go back and find something to eat. As we passed a river, we suddenly heard two children arguing.

"I can pee far!"

"I can pee even further!"

"Your little bird is so limp, how could it possibly go farther than me?"

"Even when it's soft, it's farther than you; when it's hard, it's even more formidable!"

"..."

Zheng Baozhu looked in the direction of the sound and saw two naked children urinating into the river.

One was Fugen, the grandson of the butcher in town, and the other was Gouwa, the youngest son of the paper craft shop owner.

She glanced around and found no adults nearby. She thought to herself, "These two kids are so reckless. They dare to come to the river to play. What if they fall in?"

So he shouted, "Fugen, Gouwa, what are you two doing sneaking off to the riverbank?"

The two kids turned around at the same time and called out, "Sister Baozhu!" Fugen then pointed at Gouwa and complained, "Sister Baozhu, we were having a contest to see who could pee the farthest. I clearly won, but Gouwa won't admit it!"

Gouwa immediately retorted, "My sparrow is longer, how could it possibly lose to yours? You must be mistaken!"

Fugen retorted, "What's the use of a sparrow being long? My dad's a sparrow is even longer, and my mom still scolds him every day for being all show and no substance!"

"You're the one who's all show and no substance! I peed on his head, but you only peed on him!"

"No, it's because when I peed, that person drifted far away, otherwise I definitely would have peed on his head too!"

"..."

Zheng Baozhu was shocked. As a young woman, she had never heard such "wild and indecent words." Her face flushed red, and she was about to teach the two boys a lesson.

Halfway there, he suddenly realized something was wrong. After a long pause, he came to his senses and exclaimed in a panic, "You... what were you saying? There's someone in the water?"

"Yes, they've been floating around for ages!" Fuwa said proudly. "I was the first to spot them!"

Zheng Baozhu is numb! Quick, save her! What are you so proud of?!

She rushed to the shore in a few steps and saw a blue figure floating in the water, with its hair spread out like an umbrella, looking like it was in grave danger.

Zheng Baozhu felt a surge of anxiety and was about to call for help when her eyes suddenly twitched—

The man, who had been lying prone, somehow found himself lying on his back, his eyes, now empty and dark, seemingly staring at the three people on the shore...

Zheng Baozhu was so frightened that she almost screamed on the spot, but what shocked her even more was the identity of that person, who was clearly Chen Jun, who had caused a scene at the Zhuang family's funeral that day!