Liu Bian at the start, so you're called Dong Zhuo, right?
Chapter 75 Questioning the Heart
As the two were talking, footsteps suddenly came from outside the door.
Cao Cao looked up.
He was stunned by that glance.
A man stood at the door, nine feet tall, with a two-foot-long beard, a face like a red date, and lips like painted rouge.
He stood there, motionless and silent, but Cao Cao suddenly felt the whole room darken—not because the light dimmed, but because all the light had been absorbed by that person.
Those phoenix eyes were slightly lowered, half-open and half-closed, yet they couldn't suppress the sharpness in them.
Guan Yu.
He had seen Lü Bu's battle reports and knew what it meant to "charge into battle with a halberd and slay a general amidst ten thousand men." He thought that was the pinnacle of martial prowess.
But at this moment, he suddenly became uncertain.
Guan Yu walked in slowly and cupped his hands in greeting to Liu Bei: "Brother."
Then he looked at Cao Cao, and his phoenix eyes finally opened, revealing a sliver of cold light.
"This is..." Guan Yu looked at Liu Bei.
Liu Bei introduced, "This is Cao Cao, Cao Mengde, from the Eastern Palace in Luoyang."
Guan Yu nodded slightly as a gesture of greeting.
Cao Cao snapped out of his daze and quickly returned the greeting.
The moment their eyes met, Cao Cao suddenly had a strange feeling—
He knew this person.
It's not that we've met, it's that we know each other. It's like we've known each other for a long time, like we were destined to meet.
Guan Yu then took his seat.
Liu Bei explained Cao Cao's purpose in coming.
Guan Yu frowned slightly after hearing this, but did not speak immediately.
Zhang Fei couldn't hold back any longer: "Go to Luoyang? To see the Crown Prince? Brother, let's go! I've heard so much about him, that Crown Prince is incredibly powerful, he even managed to bring down someone like Zhao Zhong—"
"Yide," Liu Bei stopped him.
There was a moment of silence in the wooden house.
Zhang Fei was stopped by Liu Bei, and muttered something in resentment, but didn't say anything more.
He simply stared at Cao Cao with his round eyes, scrutinizing him from head to toe, as if weighing whether this man was worth his elder brother making the trip himself.
Cao Cao met that gaze without flinching.
He simply picked up the bowl of water and took another sip.
The water had gone cold and was bland and tasteless. But he didn't frown.
"Lord Cao," Liu Bei suddenly spoke, "I have a question I'd like to ask."
Cao Cao put down his bowl: "Please speak, Lord Xuande."
Liu Bei looked at him with a calm gaze, but something seemed to be hidden beneath that calm.
"When Cao Gong was in Luoyang, he was the Commander-in-Chief of the Eastern Palace Guards. Was this position personally assigned by His Highness the Crown Prince?"
Cao Cao nodded: "Yes."
"So, Lord Cao's trip to Zhuojun was on the orders of His Highness the Crown Prince?"
"Yes."
Liu Bei nodded, then suddenly changed the subject:
"Then let me ask you another question, Lord Cao—if one day His Highness the Crown Prince's actions contradict the Han dynasty's cause, what will you do, Lord Cao?"
Cao Cao's pupils contracted slightly.
He hadn't expected Liu Bei to ask such a question.
A powerful family from Zhuojun who started out as a mat weaver and shoe seller, and a righteous leader who had just made a name for himself in the fight against the Yellow Turbans, actually asked such a question on their very first meeting.
Cao Cao remained silent for a long time.
He suddenly realized that he couldn't answer the question.
—If the Crown Prince's actions contradict the Han Dynasty, what should he do?
He was the commander of the Eastern Palace Guard, and was under the command of the Crown Prince.
The crown prince is the heir apparent, and the Han dynasty is the state. The heir apparent can be changed, but the state cannot fall.
But what if the Crown Prince's actions are for the sake of preserving the nation?
What if the Crown Prince's actions are described by those powerful families, those eunuchs, and those unseen enemies as "contrary to the Han Dynasty"?
Whom should he believe?
To whom should he be loyal?
Cao Cao's fingertips tightened slightly inside his sleeve.
He recalled Liu Bian's eyes when he first entered the Eastern Palace: "You can only hold the staff for the Eastern Palace."
He recalled the looks in the eyes of the refugees at Yecheng Post Station the previous night. Those eyes looked at him as if asking: You, Cao Mengde, can you let us live?
He remembered the tears welling up in the old woman's cloudy eyes when she knelt down and kowtowed.
He recalled what the middle-aged man had said: "Whoever can keep us alive, I'll follow them."
—Whoever can keep us alive, I'll stick with them.
What about himself?
Whom did Cao Mengde follow?
The Crown Prince? The Han Dynasty? Or himself?
The cabin was so quiet you could hear the wind outside the window.
Zhang Fei was getting impatient and was about to speak when Guan Yu raised his hand and gently pressed down on his arm.
Zhang Fei paused for a moment, looked at Guan Yu, then at Cao Cao, and swallowed his words.
Guan Yu slightly opened his phoenix eyes and looked at Cao Cao, his gaze carrying a hint of scrutiny, and also a hint of something... indescribable.
After a long while, Cao Cao finally raised his head.
He did not answer Liu Bei's question directly, but slowly said:
"Lord Xuande, I traveled from Luoyang, a journey that took twelve days. I passed through Henan, went through Ji County, and entered Ji Province."
"I've seen old women digging up grass roots, I've seen homeless people lying by the roadside, and I've seen a man from Julu who said, 'We just want to live.'"
He paused, then looked at Liu Bei:
"Just now, Lord Xuande asked me what I should do if the Crown Prince's actions contradict the Han Dynasty."
"But I want to ask Lord Xuande a question—those who dug up the grass roots, those who collapsed by the roadside, those who only wanted to live, what did the Han Dynasty mean to them?"
He paused, his voice lowering:
"Lord Xuande, I cannot answer your question. Because I do not know what this 'Han Dynasty' is."
The cabin was quiet.
Liu Bei looked at him, a hint of shock in his eyes.
He hadn't expected Cao Cao to say such a thing.
This commander of the Eastern Palace guards from Luoyang, the man personally chosen by the Crown Prince, actually said—he didn't know what the Han Dynasty was.
He walked to the table, picked up the bowl of ice-cold water, and drank it all in one gulp.
"His Highness the Crown Prince sent me to find you, not to advise you."
"Instead, I told him that those three people should not be scattered in this chaotic world."
He put down his bowl and looked at Liu Bei:
"Just now, Lord Xuande asked whether those who survived in the places trampled by the Yellow Turbans would be able to live to see the end of the world."
"I don't know if they'll be able to wait that long. But I do know that what His Highness the Crown Prince did in Luoyang was to ensure they could wait."
He paused, then spoke slowly and deliberately:
"If Lord Xuande wants to know whether those things are useful or not, he might as well go and see for himself."
The cabin remained quiet for a long time.
Liu Bei looked at him, and the look in his eyes changed.
There was scrutiny, weighing, and hesitation.
But in the end, all of that turned into—a very faint, almost invisible smile.
"Lord Cao," he suddenly spoke, "you just said that you couldn't answer my question."
Cao Cao nodded.
Liu Bei stood up, walked up to him, and looked him into the eyes:
"Then let me rephrase the question—whose command are you following, or whose will?"
Cao Cao suddenly looked up.
"This matter," Liu Bei said, "is different."
Cao Cao suddenly felt a dryness in his throat.
He wanted to say: To obey the Crown Prince's orders is to obey the Crown Prince's will; this is the duty of a subject.
But the words caught in his throat.
Liu Bei did not press the matter further.
He simply picked up the bowl of water again, took a sip, as if waiting for something.
He is Cao Cao.
He is not anyone's weapon, nor does he want to be anyone's weapon.
Yet he knew perfectly well that the young man in the Eastern Palace was the most worthy person he had ever met to follow.
Liu Bei suddenly laughed.
The smile was faint, yet it carried an indescribable meaning.
"If Lord Cao really can't figure it out, then I, Liu, will go and take a look with him."
He turned around and walked back to the door.
"I'll go with you."
Cao Cao was taken aback.
Liu Bei did not turn around, but only looked into the distance:
"I'll take a look at that prince for you."
"It's also to show those who dig up the grass roots, those who collapse by the roadside, and those who just want to live."
He turned around and looked at Cao Cao:
"I want to see if that eleven-year-old child can actually stop those people from fleeing north."
Cao Cao stood there, looking at Liu Bei, and suddenly didn't know what to say.
Zhang Fei couldn't resist any longer and slapped his thigh: "Alright! If Big Brother goes, I'll go too!"
Guan Yu did not speak, but simply nodded slightly to Cao Cao.
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