America 1929: John F. Kennedy, the Great Writer

On Monday morning, Arthur delivered the completed manuscript to the newspaper office.

Isabella took the stack of papers, the title of which read: "Yes, Mayor: Open Government".

She sat down and began to read.

On his first day in office, Mayor Jim Hack sat in his brand-new office, facing an empty desk.

The table was so clean that he wondered if the former mayor had never worked.

"I want to establish an open and transparent government!"

Mayor Harker practiced the sentence three times in front of the mirror, then pressed the bell on the table.

The executive director, Humphrey Appleby, walked in. He was a man in his fifties, with his hair neatly combed, his suit perfectly pressed, and a polite smile always on his face.

"Good morning, Mayor. Congratulations on your election. This is an honor for Ames City and a blessing for all its citizens. I believe that under your wise leadership, this city will surely..."

Mayor Harker interrupted him:

"Alright, alright, Humphrey. Let's get straight to the point. I promised during my campaign to establish an open government, and now I'm going to deliver on that promise."

"Yes, Mayor. This is a very visionary decision."

"Therefore, I have decided that, starting today, all government documents will be open to the public."

"Yes, Mayor."

"All meetings must allow journalists to attend."

"Yes, Mayor."

"All decisions must be made in consultation with the citizens."

"Yes, Mayor. However..."

Mayor Hack looked at Humphrey warily. He knew that the word "however" was usually followed by a whole host of questions.

"But what?"

"However, Mr. Mayor, we need to consider some technical details. For example, regarding the release of documents, we need to define which documents can be released and which documents involve national security, trade secrets, personal privacy, or other sensitive information and are not suitable for release."

Mayor Harker said, "That's simple. Everything except the truly sensitive stuff is made public."

"Yes, Mayor. But the problem is, who defines what is truly sensitive? We need a standard. And to establish this standard, we need to set up a special committee. This committee needs to include legal experts, security experts, records management experts, and citizen representatives."

"Then let's establish this committee."

"Yes, Mayor. But setting up a committee requires a budget. And applying for a budget requires submitting a report to the City Council. Preparing this report will take three months. The City Council's review will take two months."

"If all goes well, we can begin setting up the committee in six months."

Mayor Harker's eyes widened: "Six months? Just to decide which documents to release?"

"No, no, no, Mayor. Six months is just for establishing the committee. After the committee is established, it will take time to develop standards. Based on past experience, this process usually takes a year to a year and a half."

"A year and a half?"

"Yes, Mayor. Because we need to ensure that this standard is scientific, reasonable, and workable. We cannot act hastily, otherwise it could have serious consequences."

"For example, if we release documents that shouldn't be released, it could endanger national security. If we don't release documents that should be released, we could be accused of being opaque. So we have to be very careful."

Mayor Harker felt a little dizzy.

"What about having people observe the meetings? Surely that doesn't require a committee?"

"Ah, about attending meetings as an observer."

Humphrey's smile widened even further.

"That's certainly a good idea. But we need to consider some practical issues."

"For example, how many reporters can our meeting room accommodate? If too many reporters come, will we need to expand the meeting room? Expanding the meeting room requires a budget, and we need to apply to the city council..."

"Wait, wait, can't we just let the reporters stand there?"

"Standing?"

Humphrey looked shocked.

"Mayor, this is not in accordance with safety regulations. According to fire safety regulations, the number of people in the meeting room cannot exceed the permitted capacity. Furthermore, if reporters are standing, it could disrupt the meeting. They might walk around, they might whisper, they might..."

Mayor Harker gave up.

"Alright, alright. How about soliciting opinions from the citizens? That should be acceptable, right?"

"Of course, Mayor. It's a very democratic approach. But we need to establish a mechanism."

"For example, how do we collect public opinions? Through email? By phone? Or through in-person hearings?"

"If it's email, we need to hire more clerks to handle it. If it's a phone call, we need to install more phone lines. If it's a hearing, we need to rent a venue. All of these require a budget..."

Mayor Harker almost shouted, "It's the budget again!"

"Yes, Mayor. The budget is the foundation of everything. Without a budget, we can't do anything."

"So what's our budget right now?"

"The current budget has been fully allocated, Mr. Mayor. If you require additional funding, you will need to apply to the City Council."

"How long will that take?"

"If all goes well, six months."

Mayor Harker slumped into his chair. He suddenly understood why the desk was so clean.

Because the former mayor did absolutely nothing.

He said weakly, "Humphrey, so you mean my open government plan will take at least two years to implement?"

Humphrey quickly replied, "No, no, no, Mayor. We can begin immediately."

"Really?" Mayor Hack's eyes lit up.

"Yes. We can immediately issue a press release announcing that the city government is committed to building an open and transparent government and has already begun developing implementation plans. This way, the public will know that you are delivering on your campaign promises."

"But in reality, we didn't do anything?"

"No, no, no, Mayor. We've done a lot. We've issued press releases, we've started developing plans, and we're requesting a budget. This is all real work."

Mayor Harker looked at Humphrey's perpetually smiling face and suddenly felt an urge to smash something.

But he held back. He knew that if he smashed something, Humphrey would definitely say:

"Yes, Mayor. However, we need to request a budget to purchase new office supplies..."

Isabella finished reading and laughed until tears streamed down her face. "This is brilliant! This Humphrey is the embodiment of all bureaucrats!"

"Do you think it's okay to publish this?" Arthur asked.

"Of course! This article is fantastic!"

Isabella stood up.

"I'll arrange the layout now. I'll publish this article tomorrow."