Courtyard House: In times of famine, my hamster became a spirit.

He clearly saw that the gray halo that had been spinning above Yi Zhonghai's head suddenly shrank and disappeared into the top of Yi Zhonghai's head.

"The show is about to begin."

A row of sharp icicles hung from the eaves of the house in the middle courtyard, due to the heat inside and the bitter cold outside.

The one directly above the Eight Immortals table was already teetering on the verge of collapse.

Even more coincidentally, a wild bird, from who knows where, defecated at the base of the icicle.

Bird droppings mixed with snow water froze solid, becoming the final straw that broke the ice.

Just as Yi Zhonghai's fingers touched the handle of the teacup, before he could even get a firm grip,

"call--"

A strange draft suddenly rose from the ground.

"Click."

The icicles on the eaves snapped in response.

The lump of ice, covered in grayish-white frozen bird droppings, landed squarely on Yi Zhonghai's bald forehead.

The ice shattered, and a half-thawed clump of bird droppings covered his forehead, the grayish-white filth running down his eyebrows and directly into his left eye.

"Ouch!"

Yi Zhonghai felt a chill on his forehead, followed by a sharp pain in his eyes.

The sudden attack caused his body to react violently and instinctively.

His hand had just touched the handle of the teacup when he was startled, and his wrist trembled.

"Splash—!"

The entire tub of hot water, specially poured for the meeting, hadn't even cooled down before it was poured over his crotch.

Everyone stared in disbelief at this highly respected old man.

Yi Zhonghai's face was half covered in dissolved bird droppings, his eyes were tightly closed; his lower body was steaming, and a large dark water stain quickly seeped into his crotch.

"Awooo—!!!"

A scream pierced the night sky above the courtyard.

Yi Zhonghai covered his crotch with both hands and jumped up three feet high in the air.

After landing, he squeezed his legs together and frantically stomped and twisted his feet on the spot.

"It's hot! It's hot! It's burning me!"

What was originally a serious college-wide meeting took an abrupt turn into a farcical spectacle.

The third uncle, Yan Bugui, sitting in the front row, was so shocked that his glasses tilted to one side. Afraid that the bird droppings would splatter on him, he moved back several meters, chair and all.

"What...what's going on?" Xu Damao froze for half a second, then burst into a deafening burst of laughter, "Hahahaha! Grandpa! You're...being fed by God!"

The neighbors were all red-faced and swollen from holding back their laughter, wanting to laugh but not daring to. Some couldn't hold it in any longer and buried their heads in their crotches, shrugging their shoulders.

Zhou Jianguo sat in the back row, slowly tossing the last few sunflower seeds into his mouth:

"Hey, sir, didn't you just say that was scientific reasoning? I think God thought your reasoning was so reasonable that He gave you a little something extra. Is this what they call a sudden enlightenment?"

"Pfft—Hahaha!"

With Zhou Jianguo's finishing remark, the suppressed laughter in the crowd finally spiraled out of control.

Yi Zhonghai was in pain and ashamed at this moment, and his old face turned as red as a pig's liver.

He frantically pulled out a handkerchief, wiping the bird droppings off his face while also trying to keep an eye on the burning sensation in his crotch.

What a shame!

Utterly dead!

Having lived most of my life, when have I ever made such a fool of myself in front of a junior!

"What are you laughing at! Shut up, all of you!"

Enraged, Yi Zhonghai roared, trying to cover up his embarrassment with his shouts.

But with his face covered in bird droppings and his extremely ungraceful posture, his roar had no deterrent effect whatsoever; instead, it only made him look more ridiculous and laughable.

He knew that the meeting was doomed tonight.

If he stays any longer, his prestige will be completely destroyed.

It must end immediately!

We have to get out of this damn place right now!

Despite the excruciating pain and shame, Yi Zhonghai pointed at the crowd, preparing to deliver his final declaration of the night:

"In short! This matter ends here! Anyone who continues to spread rumors is going against me, Yi Zhonghai! Meeting adjourned!"

After shouting those words, Yi Zhonghai decided to end this farce with a domineering sitting posture.

Without even looking behind him, relying on decades of muscle memory, he slumped aggressively into the armchair!

"I'll sit—"

Just as Yi Zhonghai's buttocks touched the chair surface and his center of gravity sank completely, the moment...

"Snap!!!"

A loud bang rang out, sounding particularly jarring in the now quiet courtyard.

That armchair, which had been used for more than ten years, suddenly had all four legs break at the same time!

This doesn't conform to physics at all, yet it actually happened.

"Bang--!"

Yi Zhonghai lost his balance and fell backward, his head hitting the hard, frozen cement floor hard.

The fall was so solid that the ground seemed to tremble.

Yi Zhonghai landed on his back, his two legs kicking helplessly in mid-air.

The entire room fell silent.

Everyone is stupid.

Even Zhou Jianguo didn't expect the effect of this bad luck halo to be so immediate.

This fall shattered not only a chair, but also the dignity that Yi Zhonghai had painstakingly cultivated in this compound for decades.

A full five seconds passed.

Second Uncle Liu Haizhong was the first to react.

A look of wild joy flashed in his eyes, but he feigned panic on his face, rushing forward while shouting loudly, as if afraid no one would hear him:

"Hey Lao Yi! Are you alright? Look at the mess you've made, even the chair can't stand it anymore! What kind of talk is that?!"

These words were loaded with hidden meaning, as sharp as a knife.

Zhou Jianguo added at the opportune moment, "This is what they call 'virtue not matching position,' which inevitably leads to disaster. The chair is a good chair, but unfortunately, the person sitting on it... has too much temper, and has worn the chair down."

"Ha ha ha ha--!"

If that was laughter before, this is utter mockery now.

That kind of wanton trampling after the collapse of authority.

Yi Zhonghai lay on the ground, seeing stars. Hearing the mocking laughter around him, he wished the ground would crack open and swallow him.

It's over. It's all over.

"Old Yi! Old Yi!"

An older woman rushed out of the house at this moment, and helped Yi Zhonghai up with a sob in her voice.

At this point, Yi Zhonghai couldn't even utter any harsh words.

Supported by an older woman, he didn't even dare to look at the crowd again. Clutching his crotch, he limped back into the house in disgrace.

"Bang!" The door slammed shut.

The plenary meeting ended hastily amidst this chaotic scene.

The neighbors, with satisfied expressions, dispersed in twos and threes, still gossiping about the dramatic scene of "an old man getting bird droppings on his head and angrily sitting down on a collapsed chair."

The cold wind was still biting.

Only Sha Zhu was left in the courtyard.

He remained in that position, sitting on the cold steps.

He looked at the spot where Yi Zhonghai had just fallen; there was still a pile of broken wood and a puddle of water there.

He turned his head again and looked at Qin Huairu, who was about to sneak back into the house.

Qin Huairu noticed Sha Zhu's gaze, but instead of returning it with a gentle look as usual, she hurriedly avoided his gaze and rushed into the Jia family's gate.

"Bang."

Even Qin Huairu's door was closed.

Sha Zhu sat there blankly.

Yi Zhonghai's explanation of the poisoning just now provided him with a perfect way to save face.

As long as he's willing to believe it, he can continue to deceive himself into thinking that Sister Qin is perfect and that she was forced into this situation.

but……

That pile of bird droppings, that splatter of boiling water on my crotch, that shattered chair.

It's all so absurd, like a joke.

If an old man can't even protect himself, and can't even sit still in a chair, can the principles he speaks really stand up to scrutiny?

Sha Zhu raised his hand and touched his face, which was covered in grease.

There, where Qin Huairu had brutally whipped the area with rotten vegetable leaves from the cellar, a sharp, real pain now emanated from the cold wind.

The pain was so clear, so profound.

"Poisoning..."

Sha Zhu muttered to himself, a smile that looked more like a grimace tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Even if it's poison... why does it hurt so much when it's hit in the face?"