Love Apartment: Yifei is my junior aunt

Chapter 2 Weddings Always Have Unexpected Turns

These days, wedding emcees are so expensive! It's rare to find a friend who loves to show off, has certain professional skills and fame, and most importantly, volunteers to be your wedding emcee for free.

The groom must be beaming with joy.

Good quality and low price, good quality and low price. Whether or not Teacher Zeng can be considered good quality or not, it is really cheap.

Nanfeng, smelling the faint scent of gunpowder in the air and knowing a conflict was about to break out, only regretted not having popcorn in his hand.

Watching Teacher Zeng and Sister Yifei argue is much more exciting than watching trashy movies in theaters.

As expected, Hu Yifei immediately retorted: "Oh, I think the bride appointed me as the general director of this wedding so that I could control everything on site, including the emcee."

"Okay, okay... Now that you've already read my speech and plan, why are you still...?"

Upon hearing this, Hu Yifei's eyes began to dart around, and her hands and feet became unnatural.

A speech draft...does such a thing exist?

By the way, that thing comes in a thick stack; it's quite useful for padding table corners.

Upon seeing this, Zeng Xiaoxian instantly understood the truth and vehemently accused him, "You haven't seen it yet, have you!"

"Who said I haven't seen it? I just think your plan isn't really suitable for this wedding. It's an old-fashioned wedding plan written by some weird old man. It's been so many years since liberation, it can't be used."

Zeng Xiaoxian laughed angrily, "No matter how weird it is, it's still better than your perverted old lady's plan! I think you're trying to turn this wedding into an animal carnival!"

Nanfeng was speechless, barely suppressing the urge to clap and cheer.

Is Teacher Zeng being so brave today? Is he sure that Sister Yifei won't dare to beat him, the MC, badly at today's wedding?

Has he forgotten the phrase "settling scores after the fact"?

The two argued for a long time, neither willing to back down, before suddenly changing the subject and asking together, "Nanfeng, which plan do you think is better?"

Nanfeng, who had somehow brought out half a chilled watermelon, looked on in astonishment.

No, you guys keep arguing. Why are you asking me? I just cut this watermelon open.

"I think... the wedding is about to start, and you two are just too idle to be discussing the wedding format now?"

"At this point in time, whether it's a Chinese wedding, a Western wedding, or even a Middle Eastern wedding, we have to bite the bullet and go ahead with it."

Yifei and Xiaoxian: ...

Suddenly I realized he made a lot of sense.

The two were almost instantly convinced by Nanfeng; however, the humor of humanity is sometimes hidden in these small, everyday things.

Even though Nanfeng pointed out that the topic of their argument was meaningless, once the argument started, the act of winning or losing itself became meaningful.

Zeng Xiaoxian, still unwilling to admit defeat, said, "Even if the wedding format can't be changed, that stupid rock band can at least be taken off the table. So many fake foreigners, and the bride and groom aren't foreigners. People who don't know any better might think the bride is going to marry someone from Mexico!"

Nanfeng's eyes lit up, and he silently picked up the watermelon again, ready to start eating.

Teacher Zeng, well done! You were truly brave today.

Be a little braver, then Hu Yifei won't come after me for the scallion pancakes later.

Nanfeng greatly admires brave people like Teacher Zeng. Although these days brave people are the first to enjoy the world, they are also more likely to leave it sooner.

So, Teacher Zeng, I will never forget your kindness in helping me avoid the lightning strike next year.

That's not right...

Nanfeng frowned, as if the reason she had dropped the scallion pancake was all because of him.

There's no such thing as gratitude or favor, Teacher Zeng, you should just accept it honestly.

Who is Hu Yifei? She can't stand being questioned, so she immediately chose to fight back.

"If you put it that way, if I bring two penguins over, will the bride still have to marry someone from Antarctica? Besides, if I'm going to fire someone, the first person I'll fire is you, this incompetent babbling emcee."

"Zeng Xiaoxian, I haven't settled the score with you for the scallion pancake incident yet, don't be ungrateful."

Zeng Xiaoxian said with a look of grief and indignation, "You want to get rid of me? Is there anyone in the entire apartment more suitable to be the host than me?"

Hu Yifei didn't care at all: "I think Nanfeng is more suitable than you."

"Impossible, absolutely impossible! I'm a professional!"

"A third-rate radio host and a third-rate voice actor, your professionalism is not high at all. If Nanfeng hadn't wanted to be the best man, I would have let him do it already."

Hu Yifei's words were not very hurtful, but extremely insulting.

"I...I..." Zeng Xiaoxian was on the verge of tears.

Hu Yifei was smug, thinking that she could take on ten weaklings like Zeng Xiaoxian.

After winning the war (or at least she considered it a war), Yifei felt refreshed and her rumbling stomach no longer growled.

She instantly felt much better and decided not to argue with Nanfeng about the scallion pancake she had waited an hour for.

"Nanfeng, I'm going over the script with this idiot host. Go check if the priest from the Church of Our Lady of Amitabha has arrived yet."

"Remember, if anything goes wrong again this time, you'll have to pay with your own head, and there can't be anything under your neck."

Nanfeng put down the dried watermelon and laughed, indicating that he had done his best.

The staff member standing nearby hesitated, wanting to say something but then stopped, while his colleagues who were waiting for their auditions...

Well, they'd better pray for themselves.

……

Nanfeng went downstairs and, following the staff's instructions, went to the restroom to find the priest who had eaten something bad.

As soon as he entered the men's restroom, he saw a middle-aged man who looked like a priest clutching his stomach and running into a stall, repeatedly shouting, "You've really killed me!"

A handsome young man with a roguish air stood next to him, feigning innocence.

After learning the actual situation, Nanfeng looked at the lewd man in front of her with a face full of black lines.

This guy is a genius for selling laxative pills at high prices to people with diarrhea.

How about we ask him to help introduce a guy to Sister Yifei?

In Nanfeng's opinion, since this guy could sell laxatives as antidiarrheal pills, he could definitely package Hu Yifei as a woman and marry her off. That way, Aunt Yuan wouldn't have to worry about her violent daughter every day.

However, that's a story for another time. For Nanfeng right now, the biggest problem is how to deal with Hu Yifei.

I just called and asked the staff to take the priest to the hospital to have his stomach checked. The priest is definitely fine, but it's a fact that he can't attend the wedding today. How will he explain this to Sister Yifei?

[Report! Sister Yifei, our priest was locked in a fierce battle with the toilet, but suddenly a thief poisoned his medicine. The priest was no match for him, and the sky seemed to collapse; he was rushed to the hospital.]

……

Na Yifei would definitely make herself lie down and go to the hospital to accompany the priest.

Nanfeng had considered hiring another priest, but the priests from the Church of Our Lady of Amitabha need to be booked in advance to officiate the wedding, and it was definitely too late now.

I can't just conjure up a priest myself, can I?

what……

It seems like it might not be a bad idea?

Nanfeng's mind raced. Looking at the priest's robe on the sink and then at the young man in front of her who was a conman, she immediately had an idea.

He looked at the young man in front of him and said, "My name is Nanfeng. May I ask your name, sir?"

"Sure, my name is Lü Ziqiao, Lü as in Lü Ziqiao, Zi as in Lü Ziqiao, Qiao as in Lü Ziqiao."

south wind:……

"Brother Ziqiao, would you be interested in earning a red envelope?"

Red envelope? Money? Funds for picking up girls?

Lu Ziqiao's eyes lit up, and he looked at Nanfeng as if he were looking at a distinguished person.

Nanfeng explained, "As you can see, the priest is in such a state now, there probably won't be anyone to officiate the wedding ceremony later. It's too late to go to the Church of Our Lady of Amitabha now to ask for a priest."

The priest just happened to leave the props here, so it shouldn't be a problem for us to borrow them temporarily. I think the priest wouldn't want to disappoint the newlyweds because of his own reasons... You know what I mean?

When it comes to trickery and deception, few people in this world are more experienced than Ziqiao. He immediately understood: So this brother wants me to pretend to be a priest—why not take the offer that's been delivered to my door?

Thinking to himself, Ziqiao wore a troubled expression: "You want me to impersonate a priest? That would be an offense to the Lord."

"Although I'm not religious, I'm always afraid of the worst-case scenario."

"Then I'm sorry, I'll think of another way." Nanfeng didn't take it seriously. Anyway, it wasn't like he needed Lu Ziqiao's help. Maybe he could find a temporary actor who would be more reliable than the one in front of him.

Nanfeng turned to leave, but was firmly grabbed by Lü Ziqiao.

"No, I mean—it costs more."

south wind:……

"Brother, I didn't mean to rip you off. Actually, I personally don't approve of impersonating a priest, but I don't know why we get along so well."

"Brother... what's your name again?"

"……south wind."

"Brother Nanfeng, from the first moment I saw you, I regarded you as my half-brother. Since we are brothers, you should be more understanding of your older brother."

"Pretending to be a priest isn't a big deal, but it's also pretty annoying. After this, I'll probably have to see a therapist and buy some chicken, duck, and fish to offer to Guan Yu so he can protect me, right?"

Guan Yu versus God?

How did you come up with such a fresh and unconventional reason?

That's incredibly shameless.

But it was precisely this eloquence and shamelessness that made Nanfeng think he was indeed very suitable to be this fake priest.

This guy is perfect in every way: quick-witted, never shy, and most importantly, utterly shameless, lying without batting an eye.

Although there are many such talents in society today, it is really hard to find talents with such high purity in a short period of time.

With such talented people as the main force, and me assisting on the sidelines, the wedding ceremony, while not guaranteed to be a sure thing, should at least be safe from any mishaps... right?

Nanfeng sighed. He knew how far-fetched this method was, but it was the only option left, and he had no choice but to try anything.

"The bride and groom will give you a red envelope after the wedding. I'll give you two more red envelopes with the same amount. Is that okay? If not, I'll find someone else."

The priest came all this way and ended up like this; the medical expenses and bribes will be plentiful. Nanfeng is probably going to suffer a huge loss if he tries to cover this up.

Even the landlords didn't have any surplus grain!

"Deal, Brother Nanfeng, it's a pleasure doing business with you." Lu Ziqiao grinned from ear to ear. He had always said that his left eyelid had been twitching all day, which meant he was bound to make a fortune.

"Oh, right," Nanfeng just remembered, "because the bride was born in England, the wedding ceremony needs to be conducted in English. Are you up to the task?"

English?

What did I say in English last time?

Come on, baby?

(End of this chapter)