Love Apartment: Yifei is my junior aunt

Chapter 578 Zeng Xiaoxian's Escape

Zeng Xiaoxian was shocked. He looked at Zhanbo incredulously: "You're really going to recite that whole bunch of trash talk three times?"

Zhanbo smiled awkwardly: "Teacher Zeng, this was Teacher Xian's last wish before he left this world. We must respect his last wish."

"fart!"

Zeng Xiaoxian flew into a rage: "He's not dead, what kind of bullshit last wish is this?!"

Zhanbo blinked blankly: "Can a wish left behind be called a dying wish?"

"Teacher Zeng, just accept your fate."

Nanfeng patted Xiaoxian on the shoulder: "You know Teacher Xian's personality better than we do. If he wants you to listen to this trash talk, you definitely won't be able to escape."

"Instead of futile resistance, it's better to enjoy it."

"You call this enjoyment?"

Nanfeng shrugged with a grin, and before Zeng Xiaoxian could voice his protest, Zhanbo had already started reading the trashy words from his script.

Listening to the relentless barrage of trash talk, Xiaoxian wished he had been in a coma for a whole year.

They're all imaginary companions, but look at Mario, Xiao Ze and Mu Feng, and Zhang Wei's imaginary parents and Xiao Nan Feng. Aren't all of these imaginary companions filled with love for their real-life counterparts?

He only wanted to curse his own imaginary companion to death.

If he's really that good at cursing, why doesn't he travel back to the Three Kingdoms period?

If we go then, not only will Wang Lang be scolded to death, but even Zhuge Liang will be cursed to death by him!

……

Half an hour later, Zhanbo, who had finished reciting the trash talk three times at an extremely fast pace, let out a long breath.

He said cheerfully, "Hey, after scolding Teacher Zeng, I feel refreshed and full of energy."

Wan Yu's eyes lit up: "Really? I want to come too! I want to come too!"

Upon hearing this, Zeng Xiaoxian rolled his eyes and slammed his fist on the table, shouting, "What are you cursing about? Don't I have any dignity?!"

"Also, half an hour has passed, can you please get to the point first?!"

"All right."

Wanyu shrank back in frustration.

Zhanbo continued reading, "Zeng Xiaoxian, how does it feel to have been scolded by yourself?"

"Whatever you think, I feel pretty good about it. (P.S.: Zhanbo, please laugh three times to show my joy.)"

Upon reading this, Zhanbo immediately looked up and burst into laughter: "Hahahaha, hahahaha, hahahaha..."

Zeng Xiaoxian: (⊙﹏⊙)……

After laughing, Zhanbo continued reading the letter: "First of all, I want to tell you something: In the few days since I came to reality, apart from using the money you saved as an investment fund at the beginning, all the expenses, whether it's food, clothing, housing, transportation, or other expenses, have been earned by myself."

"I have returned your initial investment in full. Consider the extra amount as interest on my loan."

"So I don't owe you anything from beginning to end, understand?"

"cut."

Xiaoxian was speechless: "I already told you he's sick, why does he have to be so calculating with me?"

"Since I don't owe you anything, I'm going to start investigating what you owe me."

"I have to say, Zeng Xiaoxian, you've really got a special talent for making such a mess of our lives."

Zeng Xiaoxian's eyes widened upon hearing this, and he said indignantly, "No, how did I manage to make such a mess of my life?"

Yu Mo gently comforted him, "Teacher Zeng, don't get agitated. Teacher Xian was just exaggerating; it's a rhetorical device."

Zhanbo continued, "Don't make excuses for yourself. I'm too embarrassed to talk about the stupid things you've done in front of everyone."

"You've worked at the radio station for so many years, and you don't even know a single human resources colleague."

"The worst part is that you don't know anyone else, but everyone seems to know you. Every time I introduce myself to other people at the station, they all say to me: Oh, so you're the one who broke the record for last place."

"Do you know how embarrassed I was back then? I wished I could find a crack in the ground and crawl into it right there."

Zeng Xiaoxian was taken aback: "Human Resources Department? Does our station even have such a department?"

"Oh my God."

Yifei rolled her eyes at Zeng Xiaoxian's words: "You don't even know the Human Resources Department? No wonder you've been a lowly radio host for so long."

"To change our lives, I wrote a life plan and happiness strategy in the documents on my phone. There are also many other reminders and things to note in the notes. Remember to check them when you have time."

Xiao Xian took out his phone after hearing Zhan Bo's words. He opened the document and immediately exclaimed in a shrill voice, "There really is a file on my phone..."

"Damn! A docx document that's tens of megabytes in size, that's almost the size of a novel!"

"What on earth did he write?!"

Wanyu curiously leaned closer and glanced at the document's table of contents: "Health, Wealth Accumulation, Promotion, Social Life, Dating, Marriage, Child Rearing, Requesting Images and Resources, Maintaining Erection, Sexual Techniques..."

Nanfeng and Zhang Wei's eyes lit up upon hearing this: "Wow, this is amazing!"

As they spoke, they all craned their necks to glance at Xiaoxian's phone.

"Go! Go! Go!"

Xiao Xian protected his phone and waved to shoo Nan Feng and Zhang Wei away: "Kids, don't look at this nonsense. I'll delete it later."

Nanfeng and Zhang Wei didn't believe Zeng Xiaoxian's nonsense. Zhang Wei even said directly, "Don't go back and delete it. Delete it now!"

"...That's not in a rush. Let me give my critique first."

"cut."

The crowd sneered in unison.

Xiao Xian didn't care about everyone's disdain for him. He squinted at the content on his phone, and as he looked at it, his eyebrows stood up.

To be honest, the plan and strategy that Xiaoxian left for himself were indeed quite useful. Xiaoxian also believed that if he could really follow his plan, his life would be at a completely different level ten years later.

The problem is, the greatest distance in the world is the distance between knowing and persisting in doing.

It's like when we were kids, everyone knew that what we needed to do was study hard and improve every day, but very few people could actually stick to it.

Of course, those requests for pictures and resources, as well as bedroom techniques, should still be quite useful.

At this moment, Zhanbo continued reading: "Actually, I know that even if I leave you these plans and strategies, you basically won't be able to do them."

"I originally wanted Yifei to help you enforce it, but then I thought about it. Zeng Xiaoxian's life is my life, and it's also your life."

"You don't need someone chasing after you in your life, stubbornly pushing you down a seemingly correct path."

"If you are destined to be a piece of mud that can't be plastered on a wall, even if I use you to mend the sky, you will eventually fall from the sky and return to where you belong."

"So take these things out and look at them every night before you go to sleep, just like you're gathering material for your dreams."

Zhanbo suddenly changed the subject: "But I do have a foolproof guide to a happy life that I believe even the dumbest person can do. Do you want it?"

"If you want it, I'll cover everyone's breakfasts for a month. This is my last gift to you all. (P.S.: Zhanbo, please be a witness. If he doesn't agree, don't turn to the next page.)"

"What the hell?"

Zeng Xiaoxian exclaimed in surprise: "He made me pay for breakfast, and then he did all the favors?"

"That's ridiculous!"

"I think this is fine."

Seeing that there would be free breakfasts for a month, Zhang Wei said with a grin, "This is Teacher Xian's kind intention. Teacher Zeng, just consider it a benefit to the public."

"What's it to you if I treat everyone to free breakfast?" Xiaoxian rolled her eyes at Zhang Wei, annoyed. "You come here for breakfast whenever you're not at work, so it's none of your business who pays for it, right?"

"what?"

Zhang Wei suddenly realized: "Oh right."

Yu Mo asked with a smile, "Teacher Zeng, this is a foolproof guide to a happy life, don't you want it?"

Xiaoxian hesitated upon hearing this: "...Is there really such a cheat-like, foolproof strategy?"

Nanfeng urged, "Why not give it a try? You won't lose anything anyway."

"Teacher Xian has helped you earn a lot of money these past few days; it should be enough to cover your breakfast expenses for a month."

After Nanfeng said that, Xiaoxian completely put aside his concerns.

He widened his eyes excitedly and urged Zhanbo, "I've agreed to breakfast, Zhanbo, hurry up and tell me."

"oh."

Zhanbo looked down and turned to a new page: "No way! No way! Zeng Xiaoxian, you didn't actually believe my stupid strategy, did you!"

"Don't you think about it? If there really were such a foolproof guide, why would I bother writing so many guides for you?"

"Oh dear, only a fool like you would believe that someone can achieve a happy life effortlessly, would you?"

Zeng Xiaoxian's face darkened completely after being tricked. He took a deep breath, stood up amidst the astonished gazes of everyone, and walked towards the door.

Seeing this, the others quickly stopped him: "Teacher Zeng, you won't let yourself get so easily overwhelmed by your own words?"

"No, I'm just going to find Xiao Hei."

"What do you want with Xiao Hei?"

They exchanged glances, clearly puzzled as to why Zeng Xiaoxian suddenly wanted to go find Xiao Hei.

Xiao Xian gritted his teeth and said, "I'm going to find Xiao Hei so I can get back into the dream world. I'm going to die with that guy!!!"

Everyone was left speechless, not knowing whether to laugh or cry.

Teacher Zeng only has so much potential; he pushes himself to the limit.

Just as Zeng Xiaoxian was getting frustrated by the criticism and insisted on going to find Xiao Hei, Zhanbo had already turned a new page.

"Of course, I think the stupidest thing about you is that you've already found happiness, yet you're still thinking about some foolish strategy to achieve it."

"Tell me, if I don't curse you, who else can I curse?"

Xiao Xian was stunned into thought upon hearing this.

"Think about it, you already have a job that you love, a decent salary in Shanghai, a bright future, and a group of friends who are like family to you."

"Isn't what you have now enough to make you happy?"

Zeng Xiaoxian was struck dumb; he simply couldn't believe that such words could have been written by Xiaoxian in a suit.

Wasn't he just complaining about himself, saying that he had made a mess of both of their lives?

"Hehe, I know what you're thinking."

"I admit that I was never satisfied with your life. I always felt that we could stand higher, become stronger, and live a better life."

"I hate you, you weak coward, I despise you, you useless pushover, and I hate even more that you are content just staying in this tiny apartment."

"But after experiencing everything in the dream world and then coming to reality to experience your life, I found that no matter how smart or outstanding I am, many things will not develop according to my wishes."

"...After all, even if you beat me to death, I would never have imagined that Ziqiao would take off Meijia's clothes next to the women's restroom."

"what?"

Zeng Xiaoxian stared in disbelief, looking at everyone in astonishment: "Ziqiao and Meijia..."

Yifei waved her hand: "What a big misunderstanding. I'll explain it to you later. Let Zhanbo finish his story first."

Zhanbo continued, "Now I suddenly understand a principle: people should not seek happiness because they feel unhappy, but should strive to become happier because they are already happy."

The former is never satisfied, while the latter is content with what they have.

"Zeng Xiaoxian, there is no such thing as a foolproof guide to happiness in this world."

"If I had to say there is one, it would be..."

Zhanbo turned to the last page of the letter, paused, and instead of continuing to read, handed it to Xiaoxian.

Xiaoxian took the letter and saw that the last sheet of paper only had four large characters written on it.

"Live well."

Zeng Xiaoxian shook his head, both amused and exasperated: "This guy, does he think I don't know? We're one team."

"By the way, Teacher Zeng."

Zhanbo continued, "Teacher Xian told me that he also prepared a gift for you. The gift should arrive by the time you wake up. He told you to check the station's official website and go to the announcements section to receive it."

Zeng Xiaoxian was completely confused: "How come the gift he gave me is on the official website?"

He logged onto the station's official website with a suspicious look on his face and casually clicked on the latest announcement for the day.

"Announcement: In accordance with the notification of... and the standards of..., and after review by the station, the following is a public announcement of the personnel promotions and changes in employment at our station in 2015..."

As Zeng Xiaoxian was looking at it, he suddenly jolted awake, and his phone fell straight to the ground.

"I've become the deputy director of the channel? I've been promoted to management?!"

"what?"

Upon hearing this, everyone quickly picked up Xiaoxian's phone and gathered around to look at it.

They knew that Teacher Xian was always striving for improvement, but wasn't his pace of improvement a bit too fast?

Zeng Xiaoxian was so excited he was almost incoherent: "It's January 2nd now, right? He's really only been in reality for less than half a month, right?"

"Yes." Everyone nodded.

Zeng Xiaoxian, who was familiar with the process, felt his scalp tingle: "In less than half a month, he has been promoted to deputy director of the channel and has entered the public announcement period."

"Does that mean he's already sorted everything out in just a few days since he arrived in reality?!"

He muttered incredulously, "If only he had a little more time, wouldn't that mean..."

Xiaoxian took a deep breath, and then, to everyone's astonishment, ran wildly towards the door.

"Little Black! Little Black!"

"Help me, don't make us switch back so soon!"

"I want to be the director!"

"No! I want to be the station director!"

"Wait until I'm promoted to station manager before you switch me back!!!"

They exchanged glances and couldn't help but burst out laughing.

I'm coming

Only one update today, to sort out the plot lines for the future.

(End of this chapter)