Love Apartment: Yifei is my junior aunt

Chapter 62 The Four Major Factions Besiege Love Apartment

"Teacher Zeng, we've been practicing all morning, are you sure you can do it?"

In room 3602, Zeng Xiaoxian, dressed in a sharp suit, sat awkwardly in his original dining table seat, with several cameras placed within his line of sight.

Guan Gu Shenqi looked at Zeng Xiaoxian, whose feet were shaking as if he were stepping on a sewing machine. His first thought wasn't that he was worried that Zeng Xiaoxian wouldn't be able to complete the audition, but that he was worried that Zeng Xiaoxian would be so nervous that he would damage his kidneys.

After all, he is widely recognized as a fraud.

Guan Gu thought for a moment, then spoke to Zeng Xiaoxian in a coaxing tone, "Teacher Zeng, relax. Your professional skills are definitely not a problem. It's just that your reaction is a beat slow."

"Don't be so nervous. Believe in yourself. As long as you perform normally and keep up with the rhythm of the camera indicator lights, there will definitely be no problem."

In fact, what Guan Gu said was not just to comfort him. Zeng Xiaoxian's professional ability was absolutely not a problem. The professional books filled with notes on his bedroom bookshelf were the best proof that he was constantly improving his professional level.

Before the cameras were brought over, Guan Gu and Curry Sauce tried having Xiao Xian do a short, impromptu hosting segment.

It can only be said that the hosting effect completely exceeded the two people's expectations of Zeng Xiaoxian.

With a good image, clear speech, concise expression, gentle yet firm eyes, and a highly infectious smile, she has even begun to subtly develop her own unique hosting style.

Is this Zeng Xiaoxian?

Is this really Zeng Xiaoxian?

Although Guan Gu and Curry Sauce are not professionals in this field, judging solely from the audience's perspective, they feel that Teacher Zeng's current performance is not much worse than that of well-known TV hosts.

However, all the admiration and disbelief were limited to Zeng Xiaoxian's impromptu performance without a script or camera.

The moment Curry Sauce brought over the camera, Zeng Xiaoxian's professional and infectious smile instantly changed, becoming a strange and stiff one, as if he were forcibly pulling a bright smile onto the face of a frozen corpse.

It's hard to imagine that the uncanny valley effect was so intensely applied to a living person.

When it came to the actual mock audition, Zeng Xiaoxian became even more flustered and restless.

Not being able to keep up with the camera indicator lights was a minor problem; what was more serious was that the once fluent, impromptu host had become slurred, forgot his lines, and even almost bit his tongue.

While Guan Gu and Curry felt their eyes burning with embarrassment, they also secretly breathed a sigh of relief.

This guy really is Zeng Xiaoxian.

This is what Teacher Zeng should be doing at her usual level.

Temporary success or failure may have no particular reason, simply a matter of luck. However, prolonged failure and consistently ranking last in radio ratings suggest that Zeng Xiaoxian himself must have some issues.

As mentioned earlier, Zeng Xiaoxian's ability to respond to emergencies is almost zero, and his slow reaction time is one of the reasons for his extremely poor adaptability.

Another example is like now, where he is so concerned about his image that he becomes overly nervous, which in turn makes him look foolish, thus making him even more concerned about his image.

This highlights a vicious cycle.

"Yes, Teacher Zeng, please don't be nervous. Would you like some water to calm yourself down?"

Curry Sauce somehow got her hands on a set of office attire today. She's already tall and has a great figure; if you didn't look at her goofy face, she really would have the air of a successful career woman.

"Thanks, but I've already drunk a lot of water today... And could you please take this damn mask off?"

"Isn't this supposed to be a simulation of a real audition? If we're going to simulate it, we should make it as realistic as possible." Curry Sauce took off the paper mask she was wearing, which clearly showed Lisa's face, which Curry Sauce had printed from the TV station's official website.

"But with Lisa's mask on, she just looks stupid to me. I'm afraid that when it comes to the actual audition, I'll touch her head like I touched yours, and then I'm doomed."

"It's okay. I'm much taller than your female boss. If you find that your hand doesn't reach above your nose when you touch her head, just touch your nose directly."

Zeng Xiaoxian gave an awkward laugh: "Hehe, that's a great idea..."

"Okay, Teacher Zeng, let's take a short 5-minute break, and then try again in 5 minutes."

While adjusting the equipment, Guan Gu solemnly said, "I'll say it again, don't be nervous. Don't think of the cameras in front of you as cameras. Just think of them as microphones that emit red light."

"As a grown man, we must remain calm and composed, and no matter what happens, we should not be nervous or afraid."

There's an old Chinese saying that goes, "One can be overjoyed if their father-in-law dies before them..."

"Wait a minute?" Zeng Xiaoxian interrupted Guan Gu, tentatively asking, "Are you trying to say something like remaining calm even if Mount Tai collapses before you?"

"Doesn't Mount Tai mean 'father-in-law'?"

Curry Sauce explained to Guan Gu, "A father-in-law is like Mount Tai, but Mount Tai is not necessarily a father-in-law."

"Swoosh." Guan Gu nodded as if he understood, but did he really understand?

No one knows.

Just as Guan Gu and Curry were trying to talk Zeng Xiaoxian down and calm him down, the door to room 3602 was suddenly flung open.

Two people, wrapped up even more tightly than rice dumplings, brazenly broke into room 3602 and locked the door from the inside.

"What's going on?"

The three people in 3602 were completely stunned. These robbers were too arrogant. They just barged in in broad daylight.

This is incredibly disrespectful to the three of them!

Curry Sauce immediately picked up a chair, ready to pounce, while Guan Gu was already considering whether to run back to his room to get the samurai sword.

As for Zeng Xiaoxian... it's been said that his ability to react to emergencies is almost zero. Right now, his mind is still blank, and he hasn't figured out what happened.

"Don't be nervous, it's us."

Meijia's voice came from the smaller of the rice dumplings.

The larger rice dumpling started sneezing repeatedly: "Achoo, achoo! Oh my god, what did I do wrong?!"

"I'll spray you to death with a mouthful of salt soda, and you tell me what you did wrong?"

If Ziqiao weren't still sick, Meijia would have loved to kick him away.

"Lu Ziqiao, Lu Xiaobu, Mr. Lu, Young Master Lu!"

Instead of thinking about what you did wrong, think carefully about what you've done right in your life. It's much easier to think about what you did wrong than to think about what you did wrong.

Zeng Xiaoxian finally realized what had happened: "Meijia? Ziqiao? How did you two end up like this?"

"It's a long story, but let's get to the point," Mika said breathlessly, her words sure to be startling.

"We're being hunted down by Zi Qiao's ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends!"

"What?"

The three of them exclaimed in unison in shock.

"Ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends...?" Curry Sauce was completely dumbfounded.

Who would have thought that Brother Ziqiao is not only a carnivore, but also an omnivore?

Being bisexual is a bit too outrageous.

"Please, miss, I asked you to keep it short, but I didn't ask you to lie through your teeth. What do you mean by my ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends?"

"They're clearly my ex-girlfriend and her ex-boyfriends!"

"I don't care whose ex-boyfriends they are!"

Meijia didn't have time to argue with Lu Ziqiao over such trivial matters. She continued to explain to the three people present: "It's like this, didn't that post last night make the front page of the Love Apartment website?"

"It was even shared on Baidu Tieba and became a featured post on Toutiao."

"In short, the result is that the fact that Ziqiao is a scumbag has been completely spread."

"Wow, that post was forwarded faster than a virus. Some of Ziqiao's ex-girlfriends also saw the post and learned the truth."

"Among these ex-girlfriends, there are those who feel that the past is the past and that they just want an answer from Ziqiao to let go of their knots and completely end it."

"There are radicals who, upon discovering that Ziqiao has cheated on them, are furious and come to tear the scumbag apart."

"And then there's the one who's still hung up on Zi Qiao, and the moment she got any news about him, she dumped her current boyfriend and ran off to get back together with Zi Qiao... um..."

For a moment, Mika didn't know how to describe this group of girls.

"Can you help me think of a name for this faction?"

"How about we call it apple pie?" Curry suggested.

"Why choose such a cute name like Apple Pie?" Mika asked curiously.

"Because Apple is the target of criticism."

Meijia laughed so hard she could hardly breathe: "Okay, let's call them Apple Pie."

Everyone's faces were flushed with laughter.

Ziqiao's face turned ashen with rage.

After Meijia finished laughing, she continued to explain without even looking at Lu Ziqiao, who looked displeased: "Because of the appearance of apple pie, a new batch of ex-boyfriends who were dumped were born. They formed the pineapple pie and also want to settle scores with Ziqiao."

Guan Gu asked Curry in a low voice, "Why do you call them pineapple pies?"

"Because the top of a pineapple is green."

Meijia continued, "In short, the open-minded faction wants an answer, the radical faction and the pineapple faction want to settle scores with Ziqiao, and the apple faction wants to get back together with Ziqiao."

"These four factions are scattered throughout the Love Apartment, waiting for Lu Ziqiao to appear."

Zeng Xiaoxian looked at the two of them, who were fully equipped with coats, masks, sunglasses, and hoods, so that even mosquitoes couldn't find a place to land.

He immediately became suspicious: "But you're all wrapped up so tightly, how did they find Ziqiao?"

Meijia sneered, "You'll have to ask Lu Ziqiao about that."

The three of them turned to look at Lu Ziqiao. Lu Ziqiao could only stammer, "Meijia and I went to the clinic to see a doctor. The doctor said I have a bad cold and need to get an injection."

"I figured I might as well give him the injection; it's just a shot in the butt anyway."

"As soon as I took off my pants, the nurse Xiaoxue, who was in charge of giving me the injection, shouted: It's you, Lü Xiaobu!"

"Her shout was heard instantly by people outside, and then... then the news spread like wildfire, and everyone rushed over."

"We were surrounded by the four major factions."

Guan Gu looked curious, his eyes constantly glancing at Zi Qiao's lower body: "Zi Qiao, I'm curious, how did Xiao Xue recognize you just by looking at you with your pants down?"

Ziqiao protested, "How would I know how she recognized me? I don't even know who she is!"

Ziqiao may have really forgotten who Xiaoxue is, but Meijia clearly remembers her perfectly well.

She smiled and made a phone call gesture with her hand: "Xiaoxue, this is Lü Xiaobu, do you still remember me?"

"We've met at the bar. Yes, I'm the one with the Garfield on my butt."

Meijia, no longer caring that Ziqiao was still sick, kicked Lu Ziqiao in the butt, sending him sprawling onto the sofa.

"Now you know why they recognized you the moment you took your pants off? You goldfish-brained flirt who forgets everything after you've already flirted with them!"

"A butt, Garfield?"

Ziqiao was utterly devastated: "I was exposed because of my butt?"

The remaining three people looked at each other in disbelief, then exclaimed in unison, "That's fucking amazing!!!"

Here it comes! Please subscribe, brothers!

Thank you so much.

(End of this chapter)