Late Into Night,Give Me a Cigarette

Zhang Yan did not hide my illness, the doctor in my diagnosis is also in front of my face said.

In fact, I understand all the reasons the doctor said to help me, but it's one thing to understand. It's another thing to get into a dead end.

So in the following days, while cooperating with the treatment, I felt that the world was too terrible. It was sinful for me to live in this world for one more minute.

Depression patients will have hallucinations, there will be suicidal tendencies, so Zhang Yan asked for leave, 24 hours a day staring at me, even if I have an accident.

I felt that my life would no longer be bright any more. I put the stool in front of the window several times, then stood on the stool, opened the window, looked down on the downstairs, and thought, if I took a step forward like this, maybe everything would be over.

Sometimes Zhang Yan is really in a hurry. When she comes up, she slaps me and says, "go ahead, go ahead. If you die, there will be people in the world who are sad. They will say that she is dead. A woman who can do this will be killed by herself sooner or later. And what Tian Yulu, what do you think she will do if you die? Will she lose two catties of meat or make less money? Your death can only make her headlines again, let people pay attention to her, make her more famous, make her more angry!

After calming down, I felt that Zhang Yan's words were particularly reasonable, so I apologized to her and said that I was wrong.

However, I began to show more obvious symptoms of depression, such as insomnia and forgetfulness, such as nightmares, such as anorexia, such as despair of the world, such as want to die, so within a month, my whole person was so thin that I was left with a bone.

School is about to start, Zhang Yan went to school to ask for leave. When she came back, she told me that my school teachers and classmates had watched the competition. They generally said that although my reaction at that time was a little extreme, they thought that it was human nature. Only some people could resist it, some people could not help it. Only when they were publicized with guidance, would this chain reaction occur. She also said that I should adjust my mentality and return as soon as possible Go to school.

To tell you the truth, although these words are very simple, but I listen to the heart is really warm, like a person at the bottom of a cliff, suddenly heard someone above me shouting don't be afraid.

I decided to pick myself up, think about something beautiful every day, and face life positively.

Not long ago, Yang Yiping called me. She said that she had been abroad a while ago. She had just come back yesterday and heard about me, so she specially called to ask me whether I should go to her studio to practice songs and let her hear if I have made progress.

I agreed at one bite.

When I arrived at Yang Yiping's studio, I saw the teacher song who supported me on the stage before. Later, I learned that Miss Song was a good friend of Yang Yiping. How good was it that the media wanted to take ambiguous pictures of two people every day, but they had never been ambiguous in public.

When Tian Yulu just started her career, because of her poor singing skills, Yang Yiping once said in public that Tian Yulu was only suitable for being an idol singer. Later, the relationship between Tian Yulu and Yang Yiping in the entertainment industry was very delicate and tense. Therefore, Yang Yiping always thought that the reason why I was publicly targeted by Tian Yulu must be related to the support of teacher song.

I was afraid that Yang Yiping would misunderstand me, so I told them about my affairs and made it clear that there was a personal grudge between me and Tian Yulu.

Yang Yiping didn't give much comment. She just asked me if I wanted to learn how to write songs. She could write all the feelings I had no place to express in the lyrics, and then cry out through the songs.

I was in a much better mood when I focused on writing songs. During this period, the program group called me and said that they had a revival mechanism on the Internet. As long as the highest selected person was selected by netizens, they could play in the finals, and I was the one with the highest number of votes.

I don't know what kind of mentality the people who voted for me are. They may really support me, or they may just want to see my jokes, but in either case, I don't want to participate in it any more.

My refusal to let the program group a little surprised, they advised me for a long time, see I was iron heart give up, no longer entangled.

Put down the phone, I picked up the pen, to the lyrics written before, even a word can not be continued.

"You still want to go, don't you?" Yang Yiping sat down beside me, picked up my lyrics, looked at it, and said with a smile, "the lyrics are much more sunny than before. At least there are expectations for the future. This is a good thing."

"Mr. Yang, why do I feel that every time my choice seems to be wrong..." I looked at Yang Yiping and asked.

"Why do you think you are wrong?" Yang Yiping asked, "life is a road without a definite direction. No matter how you choose at the fork in life, as long as you decide that it is right and positive, it is right."

"Do you still want to sing?" Yang Yiping asked.

"I don't know." I said perplexedly.

"It depends on whether you have the courage to stand on this stage again. In fact, I think it's a good idea for you to take part in the challenge. Although the outcome is obvious, it can at least let you break through the barriers in your heart. Think about it yourself." Yang Yiping finished and went to work on other things.Yang Yiping is right. My heart is full of longing and fear for that stage, so after several days of ideological struggle, I discussed with Zhang Yan. Zhang Yan said that if I feel that I can face the tide of swearing calmly, I can go to participate.

I don't know if I can face it, but I still called the program team and said I wanted to go to the finals.

In fact, the result of the competition was exactly the same as we expected. I was eliminated after singing only one song. Meanwhile, Tian Yulu continued to say that my singing skills were not as good as before.

Strange thing, this time I didn't take her words seriously. I didn't even hear what she said. All I thought in my mind was that I had the courage to face all this again.

Because I was eliminated, so the host interviewed me very kindly, and even found that I lost a lot of weight. I always kept a bright smile on my face and thank him for his concern.

When I got off the stage, I suddenly felt that the big stone that had been pressing on my chest was gone in an instant, and people were relaxed. Even if I failed, I drew a perfect end to this special life experience.

I just wanted to go to the dressing room to change my clothes, when a staff member came to me and said that because I was in the final, the company wanted to sign me as a singer and showed me the contract.

I was a little confused at that time, because it was absolutely unexpected, so I called Yang Yiping to seek advice. Yang Yiping said that the boss of the company knew that although she was young, she had a lot of brains. Several artists who had signed up before were successfully packaged and praised. She also said that this was a good opportunity, which might open the door to a new world.

After that, I asked for Zhang Yan's advice, Zhang Yan said, everything is as you like.

I put down the phone and asked the staff how to sign the contract. The staff said that their boss wanted to see me in person and said that he would wait for me in the office on the third floor.

I took the contract, excited and uneasy, under the leadership of the staff, came to the office.

I politely knocked on the door, and pushed the door to go in. I saw a man sitting on the boss's chair behind the desk opposite me. He turned his back to me and faced the French window behind him. When he heard me coming in, he turned his chair and turned around. His dark eyes were staring at my eyes without any wave. He hooked his lips, raised his eyebrows and said to me with a smile: "long time no see!"

When I saw him, my first reaction was to turn around and run away, but his feet were like lead. I couldn't move. I could only look at him in surprise, and the whole person became panic.

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