Marriage B

Chapter 9 – I’ll Love You Forever (2)

If you don’t tell me now, it’ll be all your fault.

… No, even if he had told her the truth, it was still his fault. Because it was his choice and responsibility that led to our future. In the end, it was Terio Alte who changed his mind. And it was due to that he suffered.

“It’s your choice, so don’t regret it this time.”

Despite telling him that, Goyo, by all means, hoped that Terio would blame himself.

Her mind flashed back to the time she had spent enduring the guilt and responsibility alone; to the place that should be filled with love, but was filled with resentment instead, and she couldn’t help but to resent him.

Honestly, Goyo couldn’t figure out her feelings. She didn’t know whether she wanted him to be happy or not.

The only thing that was certain was there was no Terio who loved Goyo or Goyo who loved Terio here.

 

And that… that was a sad thing to be certain of.

****

It might be a blessing for some people that they were able to go back in time. They could restart their lives from scratch. They could hold onto something they had missed in their first life, whether it was money, lover, or life.

But not to Goyo. Because there was nothing Goyo thought she could change just because she went back in time.

As the eldest daughter of Rubiet House, Goyo Rubiet was born with many things in her hand. There were so many things she had that others would envy her for whether it was money or power. However, there were also many things that Goyo didn’t have.

Goyo’s parents were married because of political reasons. The couple did not love each other, nor did they love their descendant.

The only one person who was affectionate to her was the nanny, who was employed by the House of Rubiet. But she died in an accident when Goyo was five years old. Since then, the only care she received was a mere formal one without any warmth.

By the time she was thirteen, the mother who didn’t love her was gone, then the Duke of Rubiet married his new lover.

He looked happy when he married his loved one, and his family looked happy too. Even his stepdaughter, who didn’t even have a drop of Rubiet blood, was happy.

Spring has come for everyone, except for Goyo.

 

So, as she grew up, Goyo Rubiet only wished for one thing. A happy family. She wished to have a happy family of her own, where she didn’t have to feel like she was an intruder.

At first, she felt lost at Terio’s confession. But in the end, when she accepted his feelings for her, she could feel his love for her. So, she believed that she would be able to attain her only wish.

But Goyo was unfortunate.

So, when the twenty nine years old Goyo Alte became the twenty two years old Goyo Rubiet, she didn’t try to change anything.

Goyo’s choice remained the same. One, she would marry Terio Alte and repeat her previous life.

And the other one, she would accept the marriage proposal from Marquis Bethelgius and disappeared into history with Rubiet House.

Either way, it was a catastrophe for her.

But she had no other choices aside from those two since she was aware of her own responsibility as a Rubiet. That’s why it was hard for her to choose. And although Duke Rubiet didn’t love her and would respect the choice of the eldest daughter of Rubiet, Goyo was strict with her own responsibility.

Goyo could not forsake her responsibility. She was born and raised as a child from a prestigious family. She couldn’t leave everything behind and ran away. Not only because it was her duty, but also because she was not a person who could live alone.

Even if the duke was more generous than Goyo thought and allowed her to choose another person to marry, the end result would be the same.

Even if she didn’t marry Terio or the marquis… even if she offered to marry someone else who the duke might allow if they fulfilled his standard.

Someone who might just truly love Goyo… Still, even if Goyo was happy, it would be tainted by a constant anxiety she would no doubt feel.

But Marquis Bethelgius wouldn’t let the remaining Rubiet alive. In her last life, because Goyo was Mrs. Alte, she was able to survive. It was all thanks to Alte Family’s status. After all, excluding the Rubiet, the only other duke household was Alte House. The emperor’s sword. And that was why she could breathe until the day she chose to end it herself.

In fact, when Marquis Bethelgius, whom she had met at the ballroom after the fall of Rubiet, saw Goyo, he spoke to her.

Mrs Alte is a very lucky person. He said without any hint of laughter.

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Thus, Goyo had no real choice. And no one in the right state of mind would say that the ridiculous option of choosing how to be destroyed could be considered as a choice.

That’s why Goyo Rubiet decided to choose the path that was more certain.

She chose the path she was certain wouldn’t get her hopes up and wouldn’t break her heart again. She chose to completely let go of the lingering feeling of being happy.

At least, despair didn’t bother Goyo as much as hope.

Thus, Goyo Rubiet decided to be Goyo Bethelgius.