Only with Your Heart

Lukrov – Fourteen Years Ago

I made a noise on purpose, and when I got out of the tent, I cleared my throat. 

Chizuru turned around as if she was shocked to see me standing in front of the tent.  I could tell that I had a strange expression on my face, as did she, a look of both relief and confusion drawn on her face. 

Roan looked back over her shoulder at me and smirked.

Damn, this is why I hate this guy.

“So, as of today, Chizuru will be riding my horse. You’ll be glad to know that you no longer have to be bothered any longer, won’t you?” Roan questioned.

I didn’t answer.

At least, not in words.

“Right, Chizuru?” He asked for her confirmation. 

Roan, dexterously bending over his upper body, looked at Chizuru and was about to take her hand.

My body moved faster than my mind could think and reacted out of instinct.

With the speed of light, I threw a dagger that had been around my waist. The dagger brushed over the tip of Roan’s nose and continued its way until it stabbed into the trunk of a large tree behind him.

A small bird hurriedly flew away from the tree branch at the sudden impact.

There was a moment of silence. 

“You’re insane, Lukrov! What if it hit Chizuru?” Roan yelled. 

For the moment, I should probably appreciate the fact that he was more concerned about Chizuru’s safety than his own. However, I was not ready to forgive him just yet.

I made my way with a wide stride and stood in front of Chizuru.

“Lu-Lukrov…that.”

I took Chizuru’s confused hand, pulled her away from Roan, and walked away at a rapid pace.

I can hear Roan complaining from behind me.

However, I can’t bring myself to listen to it.

◌◌◌◌

“Wait! You’re going too fast… Lukrov!” 

As soon as we passed through the campsite and reached the empty forest, Chizuru began pleading with me while gasping for air.

The girl, who I made run so suddenly, had rosy red cheeks that puffed out, making her look out of breath. Her chest was rising and falling in anguish. I finally came to my senses and stopped when I saw her state.

“Sorry…” 

“Uh, yeah … it’s fine, but …”

Chizuru stared up at me as if seeking an explanation with one hand on her chest as she struggled to catch her breath. 

What is the explanation for my actions? 

I couldn’t stand the sight of Chizuru riding another man’s horse, and I didn’t like the idea of her leaving my side, not even for a moment.

The reason behind these feelings? 

I don’t care to know. 

The reason behind my actions was right in front of me

But Chizuru wanted an answer… The fact was, I was willing to grant this girl whatever she wished. I just didn’t know how to phrase it for her. 

“I didn’t mean to be angry with you, and I’ve never thought of you as a burden.”

Chizuru’s eyes blinked several times at what I said suddenly.

Then I added, “I wasn’t lecturing you, I just want you to stay safe. I’ve given you some advice because of that. But I don’t remember getting angry.”

Chizuru finally seemed to realize what I was talking about. 

“Ah, um…”

She mumbled some random words and started fiddling with her collar with her free hand. 

“That isn’t what I meant… that … I still want to ride Lukrov’s horse.” 

I wasn’t the type to pick on every word I hear, but the phrase ‘Lukrov’s horse’ caught my attention. Did she want to ride ‘on my horse’ or did she want to ride ‘with me’? 

What is this? Am I getting jealous of the horse now?

The horse!? 

Chizuru looked a little frightened, wondering how she managed to put a strained and sullen expression on my face. 

“Because I like to be near Lukrov if you aren’t bothered by it. Earlier it was just Roan messing around, and I’m…”

I stared down at her as she was trying to give me some form of explanation. 

I was still holding her hand.

I don’t want to let go.

I’m not going to let go.

“Ride with me, okay? You don’t have to switch horses all the time. I’ll take care of you.” 

When I said that, I could see her face hold a mixture of joy and pain. 

Now I think I understood the reason…

It was just that at the time, I was not yet ready to open my heart to someone, to love someone, to declare my love to the world. These were foreign to me. 

But spring came at the end of a long winter.

Chizuru.

She was the wind of hope that woke me up from my nightmare and soothed me, little by little, patiently and gently.