Warhammer 40k: Melee Warriors

After finishing all that, Mao Ge gripped the ground with his hand, kneaded a crumpled piece of machinery, and stretched it forward, seemingly to repair the damage to his table leg.

Upon seeing this, Koji waved his arms and roared excitedly, just like a scoundrel would react upon seeing his god.

"Oh! Great! Cunning! Insidious Mao Ge! I have finally seen your strong body, smelled your incomparably powerful stench, and learned the size of your sharp teeth. A tiny bit of powder scraped from your teeth is enough for those greedy brats of the Evil Moon Clan to use for a lifetime!"

Hearing the noise, Brother Mao looked down and saw that it was Gu Jian, that skinny, tall, short-faced guy, calling him.

Mao Ge curled his lip; he still had work to do and didn't have time to waste words on this brat.

He slapped it down directly, as if swatting away a buzzing fly.

The enormous hand was as spectacular as an entire continent falling from the sky. Koji was terrified when he saw it. He immediately attacked the ground beneath his feet, creating a crater to accommodate himself in the shortest time.

Oh my god... this really hurts like hell...

Koji felt his hands almost crack from the rapid blows, and the tremors from the slaps made his internal organs ache with pain, but compared to being flattened by Brother Mao's slap, it was all worth it.

Chapter 454: Always eager for a good show

Mao Ge moved his hand away, and upon seeing that Gu Jian was still alive, he let out a soft exclamation, "Although you look as thin as a stick, you're quite agile, aren't you? I like agile butts."

Seeing that Mao Ge had stopped attacking him, Gu Jian began to praise Mao Ge. He knew that these two gods of the orcs were often angry because the orcs could not distinguish between Gao Ge and Mao Ge. Now it was time for him, the fake fart spirit, to leave a deep impression on Mao Ge.

Looking at the machines around him, Komi spoke with unparalleled admiration, “Brother Mao, these things you’ve created are truly the essence of orcs, the key to unlocking the Eternal Waaagh! Compared to that, Brother Gao’s barbaric method of just hitting people on the head with a stick is far too rudimentary. What I mean is, hitting people on the head with a stick is quite interesting. But shooting people through the mud with a big gun, roasting them with a flamethrower until they dance joyfully, and turning them into a pool of shiny liquid with a radiation gun is far more interesting! More colorful! More abundant!”

Mao Ge enjoyed Komi's flattery; almost every word he said resonated with him. It was just like when Komi faced Khorne's threats, he didn't choose to surrender but instead chose to angrily rebuke him.

The gods are unfathomable because they transcend the mundane world.

Gods are simple because they are limited by authority.

When Gu Jian saw Mao Ge laughing out loud, he was also preparing to take this opportunity to tell Mao Ge the data he had memorized and ask him to help him crack it.

But Mao didn't give Gu Jian a chance to speak. He urged loudly, "Hey! You weird little brat! Keep talking! Keep praising! Do a good job, and I'll reward you."

Helpless, Gu Jian could only rack his brains and continue, "Brother Mao, I once heard that you and Brother Gao were wandering in a stinking swamp when you found an outrageously fat worm. Brother Gao rushed up and beat it hard with a stick and his fists, while you waited in the shadows with a bomb, looking for an opportunity!"

"We've done this before?" Mao recalled. He had sculpted quite a few things in this subspace, so it was hard to be sure which time Gu Jian was referring to.

"Gao Ge's strength is truly astounding! He used a stick to pry open that giant worm's mouth, then roared inside, trying to see who could hiss the loudest! At that moment, you seized the opportunity and hurled the bomb down the worm's throat. The bomb exploded, splattering disgusting slime all over Gao Ge, slowing his movements, and then you laughed a few times and gave him a whack on the back of the head! Even the great Mao Ge only won twice! Compared to you, Gao Ge is nothing! Just a complete idiot!"

Upon hearing this, Brother Mao didn't care when the incident had occurred. He laughed heartily, "You clever little thing, you're absolutely right! I'm definitely better than Brother Gao! I'm smarter, more cunning, and more worthy of the title Eternal Waaagh!"

“So, Brother Mao… I now…” Koji tried to make his request again, but then he heard an angry roar coming from the other end.

"That bastard said I'm not as good-looking as Brother Mao?"

The massive fist came crashing down, snapping several of the table legs supporting Brother Mao's foundry.

Watching the machine parts raining down from the sky, Komi cursed under his breath and prepared to swing his still-aching fist to fight his way out.

But how could Mao Ge stand by and watch Gao Ge harm his newly acquired little pet? He reached out to protect Gu Jian, like a solid city wall blocking Gao Ge's punch.

"Don't even think about touching him, this is mine... mine... what's that word again? Oh right, this is my Prophet Mao!"

"Prophet Mao, you son of a bitch!" Brother Gao's huge foot came down from below, tearing apart the solid ground where Koji had stood.

"You brainless idiot, do you know how long it will take me to clean all this up?"

"You sissy! We orcs never discipline you!"

"That's why I'm better than you! When all you can do is break off a stick or even pull out a hard, thick dung peg as a weapon, I can pull out something much better!"

"A stick is the best! You rely on those things only because you're weaker than me!"

The two orc gods clashed, their civil war shaking the heavens and the earth, a perfect illustration of the orc society's constant infighting.

Of course, one could also argue that it was precisely because of the constant fighting between the two orcs that the orc civilization was unable to truly unite.

If Mao Zedong were to ever reconcile with his former master, the entire universe would suffer.

Mao Ge, who was protecting Komi with his hands, was at a disadvantage. He took a punch to the face and a kick to the stomach, but this situation did not last long, because Gao Ge came to his nest where he was making inventions. Mao Ge had hidden many secret weapons there.

"Try this!" Mao pulled out an electric baton from somewhere and shoved it into Gao Ge's neck. The energy in this baton was more than dozens of stars combined, and even a strong orc like Gao Ge couldn't withstand it.

Gao Ge convulsed from the electric shock, but he didn't fall down; he just stood there stiffly. Mao Ge looked at him and laughed heartily, quite pleased with himself.

Komi couldn't afford to waste any more time with these two wildly imaginative orc gods. He cried out in Mao Ge's palm, "Mao Ge! I need your help! The Waaagh in my organization is becoming increasingly shameless because we're fighting a bunch of cowards who don't even dare to show their backsides! We can't see them, but they can see us!"

"Isn't this great? If you can't find it, it just means you're not cunning enough! Learn from them!"

Mao-ge lectured Komi as if it were his right, which left Komi completely bewildered.

Hey... Mao is smart, that's true, but he also likes underhanded tactics... If he doesn't help, then wouldn't I have come all this way for nothing?

Fortunately, there's always a way out. What Brother Mao favors is what Brother Gao despises. He struggled to overcome the numbness from the electric shock and roared in dissatisfaction, "These are cowards! Cowards don't deserve to fight us Waaagh! A Waaagh match should be fist to fist, eye to eye. What's the point of being beaten blindfolded?!"

"You don't know anything!"

Gu Jian blinked, looked at Gao Ge and then at Mao Ge, and a bold idea was forming in his mind.

Since those two orc gods just can't stand each other, why don't I add fuel to the fire of their already raging relationship?

Gu Jian, abandoning his submissive demeanor when trying to please Mao Ge, exclaimed to Gao Ge, "Oh my! Gao Ge, you're absolutely right! I was fooled by Mao Ge before, but now I realize you're the one who started the eternal Waaagh! Your pectoral muscles are huge and strong; that gap in the middle could snap Mao Ge's skinny arm in two! And your farts are absolutely earth-shattering! All the cannons Mao Ge made by hand firing at once can't even compare to half a hair from your fart!"

Upon hearing this, Brother Gao chuckled and replied, "That's right, little guy. A strong and healthy body is the most important thing for an orc. Axes and spears are just toys that can be obtained at will! A well-trained body is far superior to those toys. Brother Mao's purity is really too low."

Mao was so angry his teeth were practically crooked. He yelled at the gujian in his hand, "What are you talking about, you little thing? Open your tiny, beady eyes and take a good look! I, Mao, am better than that Gao guy! Stronger! Did you realize I subdued him with just a stun gun?"

"You can only be arrogant for a short while. Just wait until your stun gun runs out of power, then I'll smash your head into your ass!"

Gu Jian curled his lip, "You say you're better and stronger? I doubt you can even interpret these numbers. I still trust Brother Gao's judgment more."

"Alright, alright... I'll show you my strength. Hand over your stuff. If I can't explain it to you clearly right away, I'm not Brother Mao, I'm Brother Gao."

"What the hell did you say?" Gao Ge glared at Mao Ge, unable to tolerate this guy regarding his name as a disgrace.

Mao Ge didn't tolerate Gao Ge's behavior and kicked him directly in the face.

Komi also took this opportunity to tell Mao Ge all the data he had memorized.

Upon hearing this, Brother Mao's confident face became somewhat serious...

This data... it seems familiar...

Chapter 455: Brother Mao teaches you how to build, Brother Gao teaches you how to fight.

When Mao saw the data, he knew that it was the planes that those bean sprouts were flying, but some other numbers flowing through the data made Mao fall into deep thought.

Machine Soul?

The word popped into Mao Ge's mind. As an orc god, he, like his son, scoffed at the idea that machines possessed souls.

A tool is a tool, and a weapon is a weapon!

As long as it's easy to use and you have fun smashing things, what's the point of considering the machine's thoughts? If the machine doesn't cooperate, then beat it hard with your fists and hammer until it cooperates!

He expressed his disdain for the concept of Machine Souls to Gu Jian, "Machine Souls are bullshit! Those gear-wielding brats shout, 'Whoosh! Our Machine Souls will never submit to you orcs!' And guess what? We can do whatever we want with their Machine Souls! They can only watch helplessly as we tinker with their precious machines, watching them leak oil and water under our hammers and mortars! They become completely different from before! They can only stare wide-eyed, gritting their teeth, and watch all of this happen, hahahaha!"

Isn't that a bit strange...?

Komi swallowed hard. Looking at Mao's expression, and thinking about the strange machines on his ship that liked to be covered in holy oil, an interesting combination suddenly popped into his head.

In his time, stories of orcs, knights, and elves were commonplace.

Now, inspired by Mao Ge, Komi believes it's time to expand this subject matter.

Orcs and Machine Souls—The tragic story of an arrogant, bad-tempered tank, pampered in the Cult of Mechanics' foundry, ending up in the filthy, muddy workshop of the Orcs.

Komi's fingers trembled, and his face, hidden beneath his disguise, was tightly pressed together. He would show this whenever he had a particularly strong creative urge.

Komi wasn't sure if his detailed account of the orcs training the machine spirits would satisfy the Masked Dancer, but he felt these stories would definitely provoke the cult of Mechanism and the Dark Mechanism Cult to curse him...

Mao talked a lot, but Gu Jian didn't really listen. When Mao mentioned that he could help Gu Jian decipher the holographic field of the bean sprout, Gu Jian snapped out of his reverie.

“Listen up, you strange little thing. Bean Sprout’s holographic field is nothing special; that thing only works because of psionic energy, managing to deceive our senses. As long as you can effectively guide Waaagh energy and release it, you can disrupt their fragile circuits…” Mao paused, clearly remembering something else, “Of course, its effects can be even more varied. I remember some clever kid figured it out himself…”

Looking at the blueprints drawn by Mao Ge, Gu Jian realized that the thing looked like a huge stage, with countless orcs singing loudly on it, using the same unified voice to unite their will, and finally releasing it from a large loudspeaker.

You want me to make this?

Komi took the blueprints and examined them carefully. He wasn't sure if humans could replicate something with similar effects, and even if they could, he didn't have the opportunity to use it now. By the time he built it, his fighter squadron would be long gone...

Seeing that Brother Mao looked like he was waiting to be praised, and Brother Gao looked disdainful, Gu Jian's eyes darted around and he came up with a new idea.

"This thing is great... but we can't use it right now. By the time we finish building this stage, those bean sprouts will have already blown us to smithereens."

"Uh... this seems to be a problem. Even if I were to do it, it would take me five or six seconds." Mao Ge had an unusual look of embarrassment on his face. Gao Ge, who was standing next to him, either had less and less energy in the stun gun or had developed more patience for the electric shocks, and just laughed and mocked him.

"Haha! What did I tell you! Preparing tools is enough to kill you! Only things that are readily available are the most reliable. Come here, little guy, I'll give you something even better."

Gao Ge swallowed hard, and a large mouthful of thick, even colored gas was exhaled. He used his teeth and tongue to compress the gas into a gel-like substance that could be held in both hands.

"Throw this thing at the enemy, and once it explodes, they can do whatever they want with it. If they're really weak, they might even be scared to death." Brother Gao chuckled, appearing both savage and cunning.

Gu Jian quickly thanked Gao Ge, and before returning to the pure white hall, he didn't forget to add fuel to the fire, "Gao Ge, the things you gave me are really useful! When I get out, I will definitely tell the kids how great you are. Mao Ge is really too lame."

Before Mao could say anything in his anger, Gu Jian quickly ran away.

Mao Ge yelled and stuck two fingers into Gao Ge's nostrils, "You bastard! Are you trying to steal my pet? I'm having a little fun, and you come and make me unhappy."

Gao Ge was just waiting for Mao Ge to come and beat him up. He had long since gotten used to the numbing sensation of electric shocks, so he grabbed Mao Ge's fingers and snapped them off.

The next second he reached behind his back, a sinister grin spreading across his face, and said, "I'll show you how effective my stick is right now!"

As Mao Ge was in pain, he saw Gao Ge holding a smelly, hard turd in his hand and smashing it towards his forehead.

The bang made Mao see stars, his head drooping to the ground, and the strong stench severely punished his sense of smell.

They clashed again, the two gods roaring and cursing angrily, neither willing to yield...

Meanwhile, Komi, who had instigated another fight between the two brothers, remembered the blueprint and returned to Otto's body with the green condensed gas.

As soon as Komi opened his eyes, he saw the faces of Fitia and Sage Sem, both filled with concern and expectation.

When Komi spoke, his first words caused the two believers who revered and worshipped the god of all machines to perform a gear-like salute. His second words plunged them into a tense silence.

"I...cough cough, I obtained a method to deal with the enemy from the God of Machines. But this action greatly disappointed the God of Machines. He hoped that we could find the key to unlock the labyrinth of knowledge ourselves, instead of constantly asking for His help. In the time that followed, none of us were able to see the great and all-knowing figure of the God of Machines."

After all, those two are fighting right now; if they went over there, they might just casually slap you both to death too.

Gu Jian thought to himself.

“How could... how could this happen…” Fetia looked ashamed, and Sage Sem was also heartbroken. The two were extremely annoyed by their own stupidity.