Warhammer: Empire Reboot

Good evening, you warp scum.

"The weather is nice in Agrippina today."

"The weather is quite sunny and breezy."

"It's a pity none of you came."

"Since you're not coming, I'll have to find some fun myself to pass the time."

Chapter 169 The Power of the Galaxy's Number One Venomous Tongue

Many of the eavesdroppers stopped what they were doing at that moment.

Inside the Imperial trenches, the Astronaut soldiers exchanged glances.

On the chaotic bridge, the Red Pirate captain frowned subconsciously.

On the front lines of Nakmonde, a World Eater veteran heard Lawson's voice, and the chainsaw axe in his hand began to spin aimlessly again.

Agrippina's broadcasts were always sarcastic, reports of victories, and public executions.

The tone was off this time.

I'm too idle.

They're so idle it's chilling.

Lawson shifted into a more comfortable position and leaned back on the throne.

"How about we start with a simple riddle?"

This distracted even the Imperial Space Marines who were engaged in a bloody battle on Nakmonde.

A riddle?

When did the Dark Side Master start playing this?

Even the Chaos Wizard, who was meditating in the warp labyrinth, couldn't help but prick up his ears.

Lawson cleared his throat.

Listen carefully.

"As everyone knows, Slaanesh is known as the god of lust and pleasure, and is the number one player in the warp."

"As for the Lord of All Changes, he hides in the labyrinth every day calculating this and that. In essence, he is just a fool who only knows how to plot and scheme."

An eerie silence fell over many of the receiving channels.

This statement has offended two gods at the same time.

Then, Lawson paused for three seconds.

It whetted their appetite.

Finally, he asked in a very unethical, gossipy, and public-trouble-revealing tone, as if he were exposing someone's secrets in a pub:

"Then please tell me."

"Why is it that the one who has 'a thousand sons' is the one who changes constantly?"

The entire galaxy's communication channels fell silent for a moment.

It's not that nobody heard it.

Everyone who hears it needs a second to confirm whether their ears have just been contaminated by the subspace.

Lawson sat on the throne of the Temple of Agripina, swirling a glass in his hand.

There is ice in the glass.

There was also a certain red beverage from the Bal stockpile, which Seth described as "sweet like something a woman would drink."

On the Nakmonde front, an Astronaut soldier who was loading explosives stopped in his tracks.

The political commissar next to him also stopped his hand on the holster.

One of the red pirate captains opened his mouth, but didn't dare to laugh.

The Thousand Wizard beside him had his staff glowing.

Lawson didn't give them time to organize their thoughts.

He continued, speaking with the seriousness of someone conducting academic reasoning.

"Could it be..."

"The villain carries the harlot on his back..."

"Tsk tsk tsk."

"This scene is too offensive to look at."

The Milky Way remains silent.

Then, Lawson uttered that killer question that would go down in history:

"Everyone in the Thousand Sons Legion."

"How many fathers do you actually have?"

"hehe."

Over the loudspeaker, one could clearly hear Lawson's barely suppressed chuckle.

Immediately following was the sound of ice cubes hitting a glass.

Then came the sound of him swallowing a large gulp of his drink.

It was very loud.

That's extremely rude.

……

Then, the Milky Way exploded.

In Prospero's illusion of ruins.

Inside a towering silver tower, hundreds of wizards were conducting complex arcane deductions.

At that moment, their movements froze simultaneously.

Their pride lies in their rationality.

Their philosophy of knowledge, destiny, and change, built over tens of thousands of years.

Lawson's extremely vulgar, yet strangely self-consistent, and vulgarly suggestive riddles about illegitimate children were utterly overturned.

A great wizard's staff slipped from his hand and crashed to the ground.

What did he say?

No one answered.

It's not that I didn't hear it.

Nobody wanted to repeat it.

The other wizard's voice was shrill, like someone had stepped on their tail.

"He insulted the Primarch!"

"He has insulted the great and ever-changing Lord!"

"He actually linked us with that perverted evil god who only knows how to have sex!"

The Thousand Sons Army takes pride in its title of "a thousand sons".

Those are Magnus's genetic offspring.

That was their former legion's glory.

Now, this sacred title has been twisted by Lawson into a scandalous affair involving the most sordid illegitimate child in the Warp.

Even the usually calm high-level wizard lost control of his psionic energy.

Blue arcane flames erupted from his shoulder armor, burning several precious ancient books inside the Silver Tower to ashes.

A man named Chenfeng Qianzi stood nearby and silently looked at the dust on the ground.

He has guarded that book for two thousand years.

It's gone now.

The high-ranking wizards also saw it.

He remained silent for half a second, then his anger intensified.

"Go to Agrippina!"

His voice was distorted with extreme rage.

"Ignore Abaddon's orders!"

"I will pull that mortal's tongue out inch by inch!"

"I'm going to stuff his soul into the filthiest cesspool in the warp and let it soak for ten thousand years!"

Someone whispered a warning: "Sir, he will erase souls."

The Silver Pagoda fell silent for a moment.

The high-ranking wizard turned his head.

"Then capture them alive!"

"Dissect it!"

"open!"

"After we've finished our research, we'll make him regret being born!"

This statement is clearly more in line with the underlying logic of the Thousand Sons Legion than "suicide for revenge".

The rage was merely a facade.