A Young Woman's Heart

Unfortunately, there was no one to share this joy with.

The cold autumn wind made her hair stand on end.

The school uniform I was wearing was bought when I was in first grade, and it was no longer a good fit. Even though I was wearing it, I felt like I was being restrained by something.

The trouser legs no longer covered the ankles, turning them into capri pants.

He was wearing a clean but worn-out vest underneath, and even with the zipper zipped up, the school uniform was still a bit drafty.

The school uniforms for migrant workers' children's schools are free, but they are much thinner than those of other schools.

"Achoo!" She sneezed loudly, shivering in the cold wind, wondering if she should go home.

There's nothing left to eat at home.

Fortunately, there was lunch provided by the school at noon, so although I was hungry, it wasn't unbearable.

A squirrel darted through a pine tree and dropped an acorn, which hit her on the head.

Li Wanyan picked up the small acorn and suddenly felt envious of it.

How wonderful it would be if she could live on these things like a squirrel!

In the end, she decided to go home.

But as soon as I opened the door, I smelled the strong odor of alcohol.

A drunken man lay on the ground, glancing at her sideways: "Oh, you're back? Why didn't you pay the utility bills?!"

"..." There was a long silence, until the man impatiently stood up, before she finally spoke, "Dad... you took the water and electricity bills..."

"You dare blame me? You've grown up, haven't you? How old are you? Can't you go earn money?! What use are you to me?!"

“I can’t make money at my age,” Li Wanyan replied calmly.

"Slap!" She was met with a loud slap, which not only made her head tilt sharply to the side, but also caused her whole body to lose its balance and fall to the ground.

Tears of grievance streamed down her young face.

"I'm telling you to make money and you still talk back! Let me tell you, in the old days, you could have gone out to work at your age! If you don't make money, I'll sell you!!"

Li Wanyan just cried and couldn't say a word.

"Cry, cry, cry! All you women know how to do is cry! Don't you know how to work harder and earn more money? Huh?" The man grabbed Li Wanyan by the collar and made her stand up. "If you cry again, I'll beat you to death!"

The fragile zipper pull on the school uniform fell to the ground with a slight thud.

She could only hold back her tears and look at the burly man in front of her.

Upon closer inspection, he was not actually muscular; his face was swollen, and he lacked firm muscles. He appeared strong, but he was just overweight.

But no matter what, he was a big, burly man, and beating up a little girl like her wouldn't be a problem at all.

"I'm sorry... Dad, I was wrong..."

"Get the hell out, don't you dare come back until you've earned enough to pay the utilities!" The man seemed to be satisfied with a strange sense of authority, threw Li Wanyan out the door, and then the door that should have been their home slammed shut.

She returned to the park once again.

But by then it was already quite dark.

The streetlights were already on, and occasionally groups of two or three elderly people would stroll into the park with their grandchildren.

However, it was just an ordinary day. People were busy with work. In those days, this place was considered a remote suburb, so there weren't many pedestrians on the streets.

The owner of the fried skewers stall was fanning the coal stove with a fan, and the aroma of fried stinky tofu wafted far and wide.

Li Wanyan subconsciously swallowed, her gaze involuntarily drifting in that direction.

He stood there in a daze for a long time.

When I came to my senses, all that was left in the sky was a cold, clear moon.

The remaining stars were obscured by a hazy cloud cover and could not be seen clearly.

She curled up, feeling the night wind even more biting.

I wonder where I'll go tonight?

I don't know where to go next.

That's what she was thinking.

Then I thought about tomorrow's news.

A girl froze to death on a park bench.

At this moment, she did not feel much sadness; she was calmer and more rational than usual.

As a young girl, she did not understand the boundaries of death.

Therefore, they do not have much fear of death.

Even at this time, he was still trying to find some humor in imagining what the afterlife would be like.

Footsteps approached slowly and then stopped beside her.

A burning warmth emanated from the other person.

Li Wanyan looked up at the person in front of her—it was the man who sold fried skewers at his stall, with some stubble on his lip, and he looked to be around thirty years old.

"Little girl," he said, his face beaming with smiles, "why aren't you home yet?"

"..." Li Wanyan hugged her knees, looking at him warily, without answering.

"Have you had dinner yet? Here, this is freshly fried, have some." He said, picking up the bag in his hand. Seeing that she didn't take it, he simply put it on the bench. "Eat it while it's hot, it won't taste good when it's cold."

Then, a bottle of mineral water appeared next to the bag, the clear liquid inside sloshing around, and through it, you could see the somewhat twisted asphalt road.

The orange-yellow streetlights seemed to warm up as well.

The bag contained fried dough sticks, fried sausages, fried rice cakes, fried stinky tofu, fried pork tenderloin...

There were many kinds, and one string of each kind was enough for her to have a hearty meal.

She hesitated for a long time, but still grabbed the bag.

Warm air wafted out of the bag, warming her icy little hands.

She stared blankly at the fried food stall for a while, and when she realized that the person selling fried food was smiling at her, she suddenly came to her senses, gently picked up a skewer of fried sausage, and began to eat it in small bites.

The sausage got a little cold from staring blankly for too long.

Just as she was slowly eating, familiar footsteps came from afar and approached her again.

"Yan Yan, why are you sitting here? Did your dad buy this for you?" A gentle voice reached her ears, and she looked up in surprise to see her mother, whose eyes were still a little red.

"Mother."

"Um, where's your dad?"

“This is… a gift from that kind uncle.” Li Wanyan handed the rest to her mother. “Mom, you eat it.”

"It's alright, Yan Yan will eat."

"I can't eat that much."

"Hmm, Yan Yan is such a good girl. Did you say thank you to your uncle?"

"……No."

"Say thank you next time." The mother smiled as she walked to the stall, thanked the vendor, and offered to pay, but the vendor firmly refused. In the end, she had no choice but to accept the kindness.

"Why don't you go home?"

"Dad won't let me go back..." She pouted as she said this, looking somewhat aggrieved.

"What did he say?"

"Let me go make money."

As soon as Li Wanyan finished speaking, her mother's face showed barely suppressed anger. Her body trembled slightly before she slowly calmed down, but her brows remained tightly furrowed.

"Let's go home."

"Mom, Dad will beat you."

"...It's alright, let's go." Her mother smiled and patted Li Wanyan on the back of the head.

Li Wanyan only felt that her palms were a little rough, not because of calluses, but because of the scabbed wounds.

That night, Li Wanyan slept in the closet.

All she could hear was her mother's screams, shrieks, and howls.

And that man's laughter and roars...

After that, life seemed to return to normal.

But such things still happen from time to time.

The bad memories seem to have become blurred.

What were once unbearable days have been given a beautiful new hue by the passage of time.

A chill ran through my entire body.

Li Wanyan, however, was unable to break free from her memories.

She was once again drawn into the past.

I think I heard someone shouting.

But I couldn't hear it clearly anymore.

"Mom, I don't need to eat meat."

"Mom, I got a perfect score on the test this time."

"Mom, will Dad come back?"

Happy birthday, Mom.

"Mom, I don't need to celebrate my birthday."

"Mom, here's an egg for you."

"Mom, my classmates from junior high are all doing well, so you don't need to worry."