A Young Woman's Heart

"Are meat dishes required for sacrifices?"

"Not all rituals are Buddhist."

"So, Brother Chan, what do you believe in?" Zhou Yong asked curiously.

"Believe in everything, and believe in nothing."

"It's pointless to even say it..."

"This year is almost over, so I want to hold a memorial service. You can think of it as a sacrifice to the heavens, or as a tribute to my past self."

"What's wrong? What happened? You've changed quite a bit lately."

"Really?" Tian Tingchan asked with a half-smile, and when she saw the stall owner start slaughtering the live chicken, she subconsciously closed her eyes.

“Yes.” Zhou Yong calmly watched as chicken blood splattered, then the whole chicken was bled out and thrown into a bucket of boiling water to scald its feathers…

When he was a child, his home was right next to the market, so he saw this kind of scene every day and was used to it.

"Does someone who studies medicine have anything to fear about killing chickens?" Zhou Yong couldn't help but joke.

“It’s not that I’m afraid,” Tian Tingchan pursed her lips, “it just feels a bit cruel.”

"Then why are you still eating?"

"I didn't notice it when I was eating it." She shook her head slightly, her slightly curly short hair swaying gently.

"Huh, you got your hair permed?"

"Hmm." Tian Tingchan's expression was calm, but her tone still betrayed a hint of undisguised joy.

"I knew it! It feels a bit different now. They've got money now, and they even got their hair permed."

"It was paid for by someone else."

"That young lady who lives in the villa by West Lake?"

"Ah."

"Ah, it's great to know a rich person," Zhou Yong remarked.

Tian Tingchan remained noncommittal. When there were many people around, she seemed to become silent again. Unlike before, she no longer appeared cold and taciturn, but rather obedient, gentle, and cautious in her speech.

While waiting for the chicken to be slaughtered, Tian Tingchan didn't rest either. She took Zhou Yong for another walk and bought a lot of vegetables. Now, he was carrying several bags in each hand, and his fingers were starting to hurt from being squeezed.

After leaving the market, Tian Tingchan went to a nearby incense shop and bought a large bunch of incense and many candles.

By the time we got back to her house, it was already past five o'clock.

Zhou Yong wanted to call home, but remembering that Gao Yuan was there, he took a shortcut and didn't call back.

Anyway, his parents will definitely call Gao Yuan later. He knows what happened today, and he will definitely help him make up a lie.

Good brothers have a great understanding; they can even communicate without saying a word.

Moreover, sometimes when Gao Yuan went out to play by himself, his parents would call Zhou Yong's parents, and he would help cover for them.

girlfriend?

Zhou Yong didn't think that way—of course, he must have thought about it.

He knew, however, that he would never have that opportunity.

Tian Tingchan only regarded him as a younger brother. After all, in this unfamiliar place, it was not bad to have a male confidant—at least he could be called upon to do some hard labor at times like this.

Zhou Yong thought so too, and being a laborer wasn't bad either. Not only could he admire beautiful women, but he could also eat at their house. There was nothing wrong with that.

"Do we have to cook all these dishes?"

"Ah."

"Can you eat it?"

"Isn't it you I have?"

"So my real job is to be a good-for-nothing?" Zhou Yong joked.

"If you don't want to eat it, then forget it." Tian Tingchan was a little unhappy.

He quickly added, "No, no, I was just saying, but I definitely can't finish it all..."

"The cold dishes can be saved for the next few days."

"Would you like me to help you cook?"

"No need." She tied her slightly curly short hair into a small ponytail with a hair tie. "Go upstairs and watch TV."

“Okay…” Zhou Yong actually wanted to say that he should go home, but the words remained unspoken.

Because he himself wanted to stay there a little longer.

Perhaps it stems from his longing and yearning for girls.

The sounds of chopping vegetables downstairs were constant, and occasionally the sound of stir-frying could be heard.

Zhou Yong has difficulty concentrating while watching TV, and his gaze often wanders elsewhere.

He saw that Tian Tingchan's pajamas were carelessly tossed around, and many of them were even her underwear.

"Is such a tiny little thing even possible to fit into?" he muttered to himself, blushing slightly. He coughed and quickly removed the restless thing, turning his attention back to the TV series.

According to the original plan, he should be at home with the curtains drawn, looking at his computer, or he should have already finished the problem and be taking a shower.

Once a week isn't much for a hot-blooded young man.

Being in this girl's room made his hormones feel like they were about to boil.

"Zhou Yong, dinner's ready." Tian Tingchan had come upstairs at some point and gently knocked on the cabinet door next to her.

"Coming, coming." He responded quickly, but stood up slowly. Tian Tingchan stared at him for several seconds before realizing what was going on, and then turned her head away with a slightly flushed face.

"I'm going down first."

"Okay, okay..."

Zhou Yong coughed dryly, squeezed his legs together, went downstairs, and washed his face with cold water to cool down the fever.

In the living room on the first floor, there was a small table with a faceless statue on it. It was impossible to tell whether it was an immortal, a bodhisattva, or a Buddha.

Hmm... Overall, it probably leans more towards the feeling of an immortal.

There were two wooden signs next to it, with "Past" and "Future" written on them. Zhou Yong went around to the other side and found that there were more words on them, with "Heaven" and "Earth" written on them respectively.

Is this what they call offering sacrifices to Heaven?

Or is it a sacrificial ritual mode created by Tian Ting Chan himself?

Such rituals added a sense of ceremony to her life.

She knelt down on the prayer mat in front of her and looked at Zhou Yong: "Are you coming too?"

“Me? Uh… come on.” Zhou Yong hesitated for a moment, then knelt down to the side as well.

However, he no longer had a futon to use. The ground was a bit cold, but it was nothing compared to his feverish body.

There was also a large iron basin on the table, which was full of sand.

Tian Tingchan lit some incense and gave him a few sticks.

It's similar to burning incense and praying to Buddha; it's basically kneeling on the ground and bowing.

Zhou Yong did it perfunctorily, while Tian Tingchan seemed very devout.

She was muttering something to herself, but Zhou Yong couldn't hear her at all.

She didn't raise her head until the incense had burned halfway before solemnly inserting them into the sand in the iron basin.

Then she dipped her finger in the water and dabbed it on her forehead before letting out a long sigh of relief.

"All right."

"What were you reciting just now?" Zhou Yong asked curiously.

"Thank you to the people around me and to my past self for letting me live another year."

"Hahaha, Brother Chan, your outlook on life is too pessimistic, isn't it?" Zhou Yong laughed loudly, but then he noticed that Tian Tingchan's expression was very serious and she didn't seem to be laughing along at all, so he awkwardly stopped laughing and didn't know what to say.

……

Chapter 185 Castration

The moonlight was somewhat dim.

Tian Tingchan has already seen Zhou Yong off.

They said goodbye at the elevator entrance.

The three-story house seemed incredibly deserted at this moment.

In fact, Zhou Yong had already washed all the leftover dishes and chopsticks after the meal, so now she only needs to take a shower before she can go to sleep.

However, she didn't originally have this custom of offering sacrifices to the heavens; it was just that today was an exceptionally important day for her.

Because on this day, she will say goodbye to her past self forever.

"Hoo..." Tian Tingchan took a deep breath and slammed the door shut.

The air conditioner on the third floor is already on. At other times, she might not turn it on for the entire winter.

A sparrow perched on the balcony outside the window, pressed close to the window, seemingly wanting to soak up the warmth from the indoor heating.

She walked to the window, stared at the sparrow that was wary but unwilling to fly away immediately for a long time, and then gently drew the curtains.

She has something very important to do today.

And it's something that's absolutely irreversible.

That is to castrate oneself.

Castration was originally used on animals.

It is also a term used to describe sterilizing male animals.

Perhaps because most people felt that a man like her who wanted to be a woman didn't deserve to be called a 'human being,' over time, she also came to see herself as an unwelcome animal, which is why she called this 'castration.'