On how PhDs become human evil

Section 184, paragraph 6. Author: ylsnmsl!

More than a month has passed since Bai Jie returned to Rhodes Island. During this month, under the guidance of the Rhodes Island team, he visited almost every place in Gensokyo.

Scarlet Devil Mansion, Human Village, Eientei, Moriya Shrine, Forest of Magic... During his visits to these places, Bai Jie gradually began to understand the situation in Gensokyo. Just as Yakumo Yukari said, this place is a paradise for humans and youkai. At first, Bai Jie did not quite understand the meaning of this sentence, but now he understands it very clearly.

Of all these places, the one that made Bai Jie feel most both amused and exasperated was the Old Hell where the Ghost Clan resided.

As everyone knows, the Oni race is an extremely warlike race. Although they have lived in Gensokyo for so long, their warlike genes have not changed at all. Bai Jie had only exchanged a few pleasantries with them when he was pulled aside and told that he wanted to have a good fight.

To be honest, Bai Jie and the Ghost Clan don't get along very well. After all, Bai Jie is a rationalist and a researcher who likes to fight with his intelligence, while the Ghost Clan is a bunch of muscle-bound idiots who will use their fists to solve problems that can be solved with their fists, and will also try to solve problems that cannot be solved with their fists.

So Bai Jie initially refused to fight these muscle-bound idiots, but unfortunately, he was surrounded by hundreds of demons at the time, and Hoshiguma and Chūmaru, who were visiting the demons that day, were instigating him. Helpless, Bai Jie had no choice but to fight one of the four Heavenly Kings of the demons who represented them.

The opponent of Bai Jie was Hoshiguma Yuugi. Facing one of the Four Heavenly Kings of the Oni Clan, Bai Jie showed no mercy and directly materialized seventy-two floating cannons, seven electromagnetic cannons, and a simplified version of the simulated temple Solomon. At the start of the battle, Bai Jie had all the cannons bombard Hoshiguma Yuugi with a wide-area bombardment covering the entire map. With the support of endless magic power, Bai Jie successfully blasted Hoshiguma Yuugi so that she couldn't tell which way was which, and finally tricked her into admitting defeat and won the victory.

Although this fighting method was called a cowardly fighting method by those muscle-bound idiots of the Oni clan, winning is all that matters, right?

After visiting various places, Bai Jie locked himself in his research lab and began to focus on studying the Holy Grail that Kazami Yuuka had given him. After all, in addition to being a scientist, Bai Jie was also a magician, so he was naturally very interested in objects like the Holy Grail.

But after actually starting the research, Bai Jie discovered—

"This thing is a giant container of magic."

Bai Jie stared speechlessly at the golden cup he had carefully preserved. He had previously thought that this Holy Grail was similar to the Holy Grail of Fuyuki City. Although there were differences in their worldviews, the concept of the Holy Grail should not differ much in different worlds, so its function should be similar. However, after three days of diligent research, Bai Jie's previous idea was completely overturned.

Kal'tsit, who had come to visit Bai Jie's lab out of interest, heard Bai Jie say this and, after thinking for a moment, said, "In other words, it's just a cup?"

"Yes, although its name is the Holy Grail, it is actually just an incredibly hard cup that contains a massive amount of magical power that exceeds the amount of spiritual veins... No, it can't be called magical power, but it's very similar, it's just a special kind of energy."

The test results showed that the Holy Grail itself was not particularly mysterious. Just as Bai Jie said, it was just a container. Therefore, Bai Jie then began to examine the contents of the container.

The result surprised Bai Jie greatly, because the Holy Grail was full of a special kind of energy. It was similar to magic in nature, but not exactly the same. Its energy purity was also ridiculously high. Just a little bit of it was equivalent to the entire magic power of a first-class magician in the Clock Tower.

If the magic within Bai Jie's body is like the Nile River, slightly turbid, then the contents of the Holy Grail are like the crystal-clear Yangtze River. Bai Jie has the upper hand in quantity, but in quality, he is far inferior to the special energy within the Holy Grail.

"So, what is the use of this Holy Grail?" Kal'tsit asked the most crucial question.

Everything has its value. A king has his value, a chef has his value... even a rat, which is hated by everyone in the biological world, has its value. Since the Holy Grail exists, it must have its value.

however--

“It’s completely useless.” Bai Jie said, picking his ear with his little finger. “Although it contains a huge amount of energy that could be used as a power source, unfortunately, I can’t extract the energy at all.”

The Holy Grail is like a huge vault. It would be best if the energy hidden inside could be utilized, but Bai Jie doesn't have the key to open the vault.

"Well, although we could forcibly shatter this Holy Grail, the energy stored inside would burst out all at once, eventually blowing the entire Rhodes Island away. For safety reasons, let's forget about it."

"In short, just treat this cup as a decoration, or you can throw it in the kitchen for Horn Peak to use as tableware."

Bai Jie casually tossed the Holy Grail to Kal'tsit. Looking at the Holy Grail in her hand, Kal'tsit couldn't help but sigh: "You've really become lazy. You wouldn't have ended your research like this before."

That's right. If Bai Jie were willing, he could definitely find a way to extract the energy. After all, Bai Jie has all the magical knowledge of the entire Type-Moon world. There are countless ways to extract energy. But Bai Jie is unwilling to do so, and the only reason is laziness.

Stretching lazily, Bai Jie approached Kal'tsit and laughed, "I'm almost a hundred years old. Where would I find the time to research such useless things? Besides, researching them would definitely take several days and nights. I'm too old for such tiring work."

Upon hearing Bai Jie's explanation, Kal'tsit immediately rolled her eyes at him.

You, Bai Jie, are you an old man? At such an advanced age?

"But I remember that someone is very energetic every night, and recently he has been so obsessed with creating life that he is busy until three or four in the morning every day."

"Uh..." Bai Jie immediately showed an extremely embarrassed expression, "Kal'tsit, did you install a surveillance camera in my and Chen's room? It's illegal to break into someone's room without their permission."

"Have you forgotten that your room is right next to mine? It's impossible for me not to hear Chen's voice," Kal'tsit said, a slight blush rising on her cheeks. "Honestly, if you're going to do it, at least take proper soundproofing measures. Do you know how much I'm suffering by holding back...?"

"Then I'll sleep with you tonight?"

P.S.: I'm completely hopeless about FGO. Nearly 400 Saint Quartz went down and I got absolutely nothing, just Nezha and D'Eon. This Yoshiki Yamato banner is truly cursed! During the Shiokawa era, I got at least five five-star characters with 400 Saint Quartz, but this... I'm done. Uninstalling FGO, goodbye.

P.S.: The new title and synopsis are under review; you should be able to see them tomorrow.

Section 185, paragraph 7. Author: Blueberry jam and dried radish are really awful!

It was 1 a.m. in Gensokyo's Human Village. While humans should be sleeping, youkai are nocturnal creatures. There's an old saying about a hundred demons roaming at night, and nighttime is when youkai revel.

Because of its geographical location, the Human Village naturally became a gathering place for monsters. Some shops in the Human Village even closed during the day and opened at night, specifically to serve the monsters.

Tonight, the late-night diner in the Human Village is open as usual, and when Bai Jie arrived—

"Boss! Give me another bottle of wine!"

As soon as Bai Jie entered the door, he heard his brother Hong shouting loudly.

Sitting down opposite Fujiwara no Mokou, Bai Jie chuckled, "Hey, why are you alone tonight? Didn't Kaguya-hime come with you?"

"Oh, it's you. Kaguya went back to play video games. Besides, it's not like I have to stay with her." Mokou picked up the sake next to her and drank it all in one gulp. "But you, you're here a bit early today."

"Well, my wife doesn't ask me to do my homework today, so I came out early. — Boss, give me a bottle of wine, a plate of fennel beans, and a plate of braised beef."

"Okay, just a moment, sir!"

Bai Jie learned about the shops in the Human Village that were open at night about two weeks ago. That night, after he and Chen had finished making the child, they were enjoying the night breeze on the balcony when they noticed that the lights were still on in the Human Village. So they flew over to take a look. As a result, they were pulled into the shop by several monsters without knowing why and started drinking. They drank until eight o'clock in the morning. Afterwards, when they returned to Rhodes Island, Chen punished them by making them kneel on a washboard.

However, since then, Bai Jie has started sneaking off here from time to time. Thanks to this, Bai Jie's alcohol tolerance has improved dramatically. He can drink nearly a hundred cups without getting drunk, if not a thousand.

Even if he used the most evil words in the world, Bai Jie would never get drunk no matter how much he drank.

Bai Jie poured himself a full glass of wine and took a sip when someone slapped him hard on the back: "Isn't this Lao Bai! What a coincidence!"

"Cough cough! I choked... Hoshiguma?!" Bai Jie looked at the person who patted him with some surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"That's what I'm asking you. You're clearly pinned down in bed by Old Chen every night, how can you still have the mood to go out and indulge yourself?"

"Oh? So that's what you meant by 'handing in homework' every night?"

Fujiwara no Mokou wore a deep, uncle-like smile. If other girls heard this, they would blush and their hearts would race. But for a tomboy like Fujiwara no Mokou, who could utter vulgarities without batting an eye, the only thought that came to mind was, "So you're not exactly honest either."

After taking a sip of wine to calm his nerves, Bai Jie said, "Chen said that I've been working too hard these past few days, so she'll let me rest for a day today."

"Hey~~~ You're overworked, aren't you? I think I've heard something incredible." Aya Shameimaru, as if she had no other choice, chimed in. "I think we could make sure Aya is on the front page of tomorrow's news."

Hey! You damned crow!

Before Aya Shameimaru could even take out paper and pen to start writing, Bai Jie extended his merciless iron hand and delivered an Undying Grip to her, while threatening her in a friendly manner: "If you dare to write this in your nonsense newspaper, I guarantee I'll turn you into a pot of crow soup by tomorrow afternoon, you jinx!"

"It's not a crow, it's a celestial dog! And don't pinch my head, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts—!"

"I'll let go once you sign this agreement."

Seeing the parchment Bai Jie took out, Aya Shameimaru's face showed obvious resistance; she knew exactly what Bai Jie was holding.

Self-mandated certification.

This is a type of magical contract used by magicians when making a pact; it is the most absolute guarantee to prevent breach of contract.

Contracts are typically carried on parchment and include the binding spell, the object of the binding, the formal content of the oath, the conditions for fulfilling the oath, and the signature of the oath-taker (the bound person).

By using the function of their own magical crest, a [forced] curse is imposed on the caster. In principle, its effect cannot be removed by any means. Once the magician signs the certificate and fulfills the oath conditions to make the certificate effective, even if the oath-taker has died, as long as the magical crest is passed on to the next generation, even the soul after death will be bound.

Aya Shameimaru learned about this from a magic lecture that Haku had given while drinking. Everyone was interested in the magic tricks Haku had mentioned, so Haku gave a brief explanation, which included this self-compulsive proof.

"Dude, you need to understand one thing: as a journalist, I have my professional ethics, and I will not succumb to authoritarian politics!"

Bai Jie completely disregarded Aya Shameimaru's professionalism and kept pressing her temples.

"Your professional ethics? Isn't it just making baseless assumptions and guesses about something, then writing something up and publishing it as news?"

In Gensokyo, everyone knows that Aya Shameimaru's imagination is so wild that it's almost bizarre. She can turn the most trivial everyday things into an incident in Gensokyo. So Bai Jie has no doubt that she can write about his and Chen's story as an incident in Gensokyo.

“I’m talking to you about Aya Shameimaru. You’re not leaving until you sign this.”

"Don't think you can do whatever you want just because you can fight!"

"Sorry, being able to fight really means you can do whatever you want, since monsters believe in the law of the jungle, right?"

Watching Bai Jie ruthlessly destroy the flower, Hoshiguma suddenly tapped her horn: "Doctor, I think it's really unnecessary to go through all that trouble. Wouldn't it be better to just erase her memories?"

"But that's annoying... I understand. I'll leave it to you, Hoshiguma. A-rank memory erasure. Thank you for your help."

Bai Jie simply threw Aya Shameimaru towards Hoshiguma. Before Aya could figure out what was happening, a powerful force struck her forehead, and the intense vibration left her completely disoriented.

(Memory erased...just this...)

Looking at Aya Shameimaru, who had passed out with mosquito coil-like eyes, Fujiwara no Mokou reached out and patted her face. After confirming that she was really unconscious, she rolled her eyes at Bai Jie: "Your Rhodes Island's memory erasure is really simple and brutal."

"In this situation, I agree with the Oni's approach. If you can take action, don't just talk." Bai Jie took a sip of his drink, then glanced at the surrounding demons. "Everyone..."

"Huh? What just happened?"

"What do you mean 'what happened'? Are you spacing out?"

"Let's drink, let's drink, forget about everything else!"

Before Bai Jie could finish speaking, the monsters immediately began to play dumb, because Bai Jie's meaning was already very clear.

What? Why are the monsters afraid of Bai Jie?

Indeed, as a human, Bai Jie has no reason to be afraid of monsters—provided that Bai Jie is truly human.

Anyone would be scared off if they were simultaneously hit by a laser cannon, an electromagnetic cannon, and the Spear of Adun.

----------------------

Incidentally, after that, Bai Jie and Fujiwara no Mokou had a drinking contest until 6 a.m. When Chen found out about this, he went straight to the store, knocked Bai Jie unconscious with a scabbard, and dragged him back to Rhodes Island.

P.S.: I originally wanted to try making strawberry jam with dried anchovies, but all I had at home was blueberry jam and dried radish, so I made this culinary disaster instead. How to describe the taste... well, it was just awful. The little girl next door was tricked into taking one bite and then ran home... I think I understand why I'm single now.

P.S.: Next volume: Godslayer

Chapter 186, Section 8: Another Clue Arrives in the Other World

Because he had been drinking with Fujiwara no Mokou until early this morning, and was then knocked unconscious by Chen Yiji's sword strike, Bai Jie had been lying in bed until dinner time.