I really don't want to be reborn.

"I've been back in China for a month now."

Kirino Kousaka and Utaha Kasumigaoka sat facing each other by the window, unusually without arguing.

A cup of coffee and a cup of tea were placed in front of each of them.

Her main purpose in returning from the United States this time was to talk things out with Kasumigaoka Utaha.

Having probably figured it out, Kirino calmly pointed to a novel on the table: "I've read your novel, and the later volumes as well. It's very good."

Kasumigaoka smiled, said thank you, and sincerely commented on Kirino's "Imouto Sora": "Your...pure love novel is also wonderful and sells very well."

"It's just that it sells well."

"Or what else do you want?"

Kirino closed her eyes unwillingly, and suddenly asked her, "Did you...make love with your brother?"

"Yes."

"..."

Kirino was taken aback by her frankness, then lowered her head and smiled bitterly: "Could you tell me how you and my brother fell in love? I'm so confused... how could you possibly understand?"

"Initially, we sat at adjacent desks in the first year of high school. Since we were both high-achieving students, I paid a little attention to him."

Resting her chin on her hand, Kasumigaoka Utaha narrowed her eyes, seemingly trying to hide the tears welling up in them as she reminisced: "I noticed him writing a novel by chance, it must have been around that time..."

"Just because of...writing?"

“We became acquainted through writing. He wrote for me, and I wrote for him. Whenever inspiration struck, we would tell each other first, and we would also look at each other’s writings.”

She looked at Kirino's slightly thinner face and smiled: "To put it simply, you can understand it as your brother and I indeed falling in love through words."

Kirino's expression darkened slightly.

She knew about this and had always hated it.

Just because of...writing?

What about the more than ten years we've been together?

Kasumigaoka Utaha didn't see her expression and continued, "You could say that my initial goodwill towards him mostly came from his novels; the things he wrote didn't sound like something a naive high school student would write."

"and then?"

"Then, we got to know each other better, especially after we got accepted into the Literature Department. Our relationship went from being 'pen pals' to 'close friends' – after that, we not only talked about writing, but also about each other's lives."

Kasumigaoka's smile suddenly widened: "He used to complain to me a lot, saying that his little sister was no longer well-behaved and that their relationship was nowhere near as good as it was when they were kids..."

Kirino's face suddenly turned pale.

If she could go back in time, she really wanted to strangle herself when she was having a cold war with her brother!

Kasumigaoka's smile suddenly vanished: "Actually, the fact that he often complains shows that he really cares about you, Kirino—your brother isn't a complainer."

"Stop...stop talking! Tell me about you guys, you've gotten more and more involved since the Literature Department was established?"

"You can describe it that way. As for when I fell in love with him, I don't know. Anyway, I feel very safe and relaxed with him. You should understand."

Kirino Kousaka didn't reply; she took a sip of her coffee.

The faint bitterness paled in comparison to the grievances and pain in her heart, yet her expression became unusually calm.

If it were her from last year, she would probably have jumped up and fought this woman to the death right now.

"So when do you think your brother fell in love with you?"

Kasumigaoka was taken aback: "You've stumped me. I can't grasp his thoughts. His deep-seated nature is another trait of his. Especially after last year's spring break, he gave people a strange sense of distance. Even after we got together, sometimes I still felt that he was a bit of a stranger."

Kirino nodded in deep agreement: "Although I haven't, my parents have always said since I was little that my brother will definitely be an amazing person in the future. Such an outstanding person, I've gradually become someone I don't recognize anymore..."

"And then you started giving him the silent treatment?"

"Hmm...none of your business! I want to know, did you two confess your feelings after the school trip?"

"No, before that."

Kasumigaoka frowned, forcibly suppressing the urge to lash out: "It was last August, when we went to the summer comics together. From the moment you declared war on me, I knew I couldn't wait any longer."

She looked directly at Kirino: "You know what? Before this, I was always worried about one person, and that was you."

Kirino lowered her head, and the spoon in her hand spun faster.

"The first time I saw you, when I met Kosaka's little sister, I felt a lot of hostility towards you."

Kasumigaoka Utaha bluntly stated, "The way you looked at him back then, as a girl, I knew exactly what that look meant. I knew perfectly well that you would become an obstacle between him and me."

Kirino suddenly stopped: "That time on Christmas Eve, it wasn't my intention."

That's not important.

She waved her hand slightly: "The important thing is that I do love your brother, it's both liking and loving—if I have to say how I became sure, it was probably the first time I made him a bento box."

“He was sick and he said he was hungry on the phone, even though he still doesn’t admit that it was just him being affectionate—when I heard that, I knew I liked him.”

When talking about some sweet memories from the past, Kasumigaoka Utaha smiled brightly, the smile in her eyes far more mellow than the tea in her cup.

"As you know, when such a strong man occasionally reveals his vulnerability, his trust and attachment to you, it's a huge shock. Girls are always defenseless against this kind of thing."

Kirino coldly concluded: "Old hag Kasumigaoka Utaha!"

Kasumigaoka Utaha's smile widened: "No matter what you say, you just like someone. It might be a fleeting moment of liking, and then you'll gradually forget that key point, slowly growing to like them more and more, until you don't even remember why you liked them in the first place."

"Yes, it's like I can't live without that person, like I'd die without them."

She listened quietly to Kirino's words, then suddenly asked, "Is this how you feel about him?"

Kirino shook her head: "I went to America to confirm this, and then I discovered..."

Her expression was helpless and bitter, but more than that, it was a matter of course: "I can not care if I don't see you for a week, but I start to feel bad if I don't see you for half a month, and I have no desire to run if I don't see you for a month..."

"I've confirmed it. My world can exist without the sun, as long as he's there. With my brother around, I can walk through the night as if it were daytime."

"I didn't know you read Keigo Higashino?"

"I've heard that reading mystery novels can improve your IQ... I've already answered that question, do you have any other questions?"

Kirino, are you still not giving up?

How do you want me to give up?

Kirino Kousaka calmly described her attitude: "I tried to give up. I collapsed on the track time and time again, using countless games to numb my nerves. I hoped that I could live a fulfilling life every day, because that way I wouldn't... feel sad."

"You're asking me whether I should give up, just like I'm asking you this question: Why should I give up?"

"I see..."

Kasumigaoka Utaha stared at her girlfriend's younger sister for a long time, not knowing what she was thinking, but just smiled.

"That's good. At least I think I should have a rival. Otherwise, if love comes too easily, I might not cherish it in the future."

"Then Kirino, let me witness your will and courage. Whether it's confessing your love, drugging me, or using a self-inflicted injury as a ploy, let me see."

"Any outcome is acceptable, but please don't let it be like last year, when I gave you six months and you still got nothing..."

Kirino remained unyielding: "I'll show you. If it still doesn't work this time, I'll go back to America immediately."

however……

Two months after returning from the United States, Kirino Kousaka still had to drag her suitcase to the airport.

She ultimately couldn't do it.

She wasn't lacking in courage.

But eventually, a concern arose—wouldn't it be troublesome for the older brother to be confessed to by his younger sister? Wouldn't he be unhappy?

only……

She paused for a moment at the airport entrance.

Distancing yourself is never giving up.

I just can no longer accept you treating me in ways I don't want to be treated.

I don't want to stay in a relationship that is neither beautiful nor in line with my nature.

it's OK.

Time tames everything.

include--

She walked into the hall, and suddenly her fingers began to tremble uncontrollably.

He slowly turned his head back.

He reached up and covered his neck, trying to utter a syllable, but no sound came out.

------

It's sunny today, time to go out and air out the musty stuff.

Chapter 51 The Great White Scholar

Kasumigaoka Utaha pushed open the door to the Kousaka residence and witnessed a rather unusual scene.

Her boyfriend was wiping the violin at home.

In the dim light, he sat on the edge of the bed, slowly wiping his violin. The wall behind him was white and monotonous, except for a poster pasted on it.

Kasumigaoka Utaha walked up to him, squatted down, and placed her hands on his knees.

"what happened?"

"Why do you seem to have such a leisurely mood today?"

Kyosuke Kosaka looked up and smiled, but the smile was very forced: "Today, I'm in a bad mood, so I wanted to do something."

Why are you in a bad mood?

Kyosuke Kosaka fell silent.

His girlfriend sighed softly: "Although I think you've probably already guessed it, but... what are you trying to tell me?"

"Do you know what I want to tell you?"