I really don't want to be reborn.

With that in mind, Kyosuke realized he was a little hungry.

He went inside, watched TV on the sofa for a while, and then dinner was served on time after his sister came home.

"Kyosuke, are you in a good mood today?"

As was customary, after serving rice to Daisuke's father, Yoshino's mother asked her son this question. Kyosuke was also used to this question. Although he couldn't tell his mother everything in detail, he could summarize it.

"My mood? It's like the air flowing in this season."

Mom raised her voice: "Oh, Chunfeng! You seem to be in a very good mood. Tell Mom what good thing happened? Did you get good grades?"

"Grades can never make me happy."

"Yes, only the last place score will be considered."

Kyosuke was mortified. That was back in elementary school, only a few years after he transmigrated. He wanted to imitate the protagonists in his previous life's novels who pretended to be weak but were actually strong, controlling his grades and showing off in a low-key way.

Unfortunately, reality taught him a lesson: deliberately hiding one's strength is not being low-key, but rather being foolish. That was the only time he ever got the lowest score, and it was probably the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to him.

His mother would probably nag and laugh about him for decades—thinking of this, he tried hard not to think about the cruel reality that he would be back in time again in four years and eight months.

Enjoy the pleasure as much as you can, why think about those terrible things?

This is greed.

"So it's not grades? Then... is it about your love life?"

Kyosuke Kosaka smiled without saying a word.

This tacit acceptance surprised Jia Nai's mother, and even her father, who was silently eating pickles, looked over. Parents are actually very concerned about their children's marriage and love life.

Kirino glanced up at him.

I saw the gentle smile on his face.

Her gaze was complex, and she remained silent, like a pitiful person who had gone bankrupt and sold her house, watching others sitting happily in their old home through a glass window.

That look in his eyes was complex and painful.

What's even more painful is that the other three people didn't notice her pain at all.

And so the pain turned into anger.

This is anger.

"Kyosuke, what are your thoughts on love?"

"I already told you I'm not in a relationship yet!"

Mom smiled and said, "Do you like those kinds of love stories on TV, the kind where you're heartbroken and on the verge of death?"

Kyosuke Kosaka looked at his mother, then at his father, and grinned: "I think your love with Dad is wonderful."

"That's a perfect answer," Kirino Kousaka thought, but then she noticed that her brother seemed to have glanced at her. She felt her heart start to race, and her blood seemed to be flowing faster and faster.

"Kyosuke is too cunning!"

"They boasted of their great love, like the Yangtze River, in which she swam freely. But now, the river is drying up day by day, the riverbed is sparse, and she sees only mud."

Everyone was stunned.

The artsy type patiently provides the source, or rather, adds a touch of sophistication: "This was said by Flaubert."

The mother paused for a moment, then realized she didn't recognize the name. Feeling both ignorant and furious, she said, "Just tell me directly, what stage are you and Shiyu at now?"

"Mom, can we talk in private for a moment?"

"Say it right here!"

"That's impossible to say..."

Upon hearing the name Kasumigaoka Utaha, Kirino felt her blood slow down, and thorny plants grew rapidly within her body, as if she were flowing into an inland river in the desert, with thorns growing on its banks.

…………

Kirino Kousaka tossed and turned in bed, unable to fall asleep.

During dinner, the meaningful glance Kyosuke gave me seemed suspicious no matter how you looked at it.

My older brother has always been a very opinionated person.

When he was seven years old, his father asked him what his future dream was. Without hesitation, young Kyosuke said he wanted to be a shut-in novelist.

My father was very unhappy at the time and said, "Why don't we try the police?"

Kyosuke calmly refused, saying he wanted to live a more relaxed life.

He must have had the courage to refuse his parents and anyone else since he was very young, so his parents would never force him to talk about love unless he said it himself.

Does he have a girlfriend?

That Kasumigaoka Utaha... seems very pretty and outstanding.

Moreover, they share common interests; they both love reading and writing novels, so it's like they were destined for each other—but what if the older brother has other ideas?

For example, he removed his game disc, guessed some of his hidden thoughts, and had other ideas...

in case……

It can only be said that if...

Does my brother actually like me?

Let's assume he likes me—no! Even assuming that's true is embarrassing, too embarrassing!

Kirino tossed and turned, her mind filled with "what ifs" and "hypotheses," her emotions and thoughts fluctuating like an empty bucket, drifting and tumbling with the current.

This is infatuation.

She drifted off to sleep and woke up in the middle of the night.

Kirino patted her cheeks in a daze, then drew back the curtains and looked at the sky.

Spring nights are neither vast nor clear; they are as dark as a heavy door that cannot be turned open.

There were two people who were siblings standing inside and outside the door.

When she saw this day, she thought of the leaden clouds in winter, so thick and heavy. When she was little, she really looked forward to winter because her brother loved to see her wearing a down jacket and breathing on her hands to warm them.

He said that Kirino's fluffy hair made her look like a little kitten.

At that time, I must have felt warm inside.

But from some point onward, every winter, the brother and sister no longer held hands and went out shopping together, no longer had snowball fights and built snowmen together, and the warmth of those memories continued.

From when...

Kirino didn't want to think about it anymore.

She sighed, very softly, as if blowing on a cloud about to break apart.

The glass window vaguely reflected his own image: messy hair, drooping eyes, dejected, a loser.

"It's really ugly..."

The girl looked up at the sky again and suddenly saw a sharp flash of lightning in the clouds, which snapped her back to reality.

She didn't know what suddenly gave her immense courage, making her want to go next door immediately and tell her brother what was on her mind—Kirino opened the door.

The corridor was dark and gloomy, with a slight breeze at the end, and it was very cold.

Her room and Kyosuke's room were next to each other.

Her room was only four or five steps away from her brother's room; it only took a few steps to get there.

But as soon as he took a step, his soul told his body that it was cold outside.

Kirino Kousaka remained silent for a long time before quietly retracting her steps.

Chapter Ten: They were never willing to accept it.

The screen is lit.

The lights were still on.

The boy in front of the screen kept his mouth tightly shut, looking at the text in the document, like a seasoned fisherman watching the undulating waves from the bow of his boat, somewhat weary, yet somewhat satisfied.

Writing can actually be satisfying, even if you are not skilled enough and your writing is not only inferior to others, but you also feel bad and ashamed. You will feel both ashamed and satisfied at the same time.

Kyosuke slowly exhaled. What he was writing now was naturally his own original work. Just as a man remembers his first love, a woman remembers her first night, and a writer remembers almost every detail of his debut work.

Moreover, since this was his first time writing and publishing, there were still many flaws. After publication, he had more perfect and brilliant ideas, so now he not only writes more smoothly, but also revises and makes up for them.

This process was very comfortable—he used the word "comfortable" to describe his state, feeling that he was very capable and that he was a person with a rich inner world.

Only those with rich inner lives can break free from the superficial similarities of life.

He felt even more comfortable when the message notification appeared on the social media app. His best friend, club member, and friend, Kasumigaoka, was sending him a message, the first sentence of which was undoubtedly nonsense.

"Are you asleep?"

"I'm not asleep."

"What are you doing?"

"I want to publish my manuscript as soon as possible, because my monthly allowance is actually very little."

Kyosuke Kosaka answered patiently. Unlike his classmates who were called "friends" but were actually "strangers whose names and appearances he knew," he felt like he had several electronic pets when he contacted them online.

However, her interactions with Kasumigaoka Utaha were naturally different.

He would have expectations, hoping she would surprise him, or reveal some little secrets he didn't know before. Whether it was good or bad, this feeling went beyond the scope of friendship.

"Publishing it would be good too."

Kasumigaoka Utaha took a while to reply with this sentence: "Do you know any editors? I hope we can go together that day, since I will also be publishing books in the future."

Are you sure you want to write novels professionally?

"why not?"

Kyosuke Kosaka was stunned. What was Kasumigaoka Utaha like in his mind? What was her personality like?

She is taciturn, cunning, and sharp-tongued. She is beautiful but not very good at getting along with others. Once she sets her mind on something, she becomes very persistent, to the point of being stubborn.

Moreover, beneath her cold exterior lies a very fragile and gentle heart.