Why are you always thinking about dating me?

"You have no opinion? You don't like her? What a beautiful girl, tsk, you don't like her? If you didn't like her, would you have let her take you home? Don't you have legs? Are you dying of a fever?!"

Lin An's voice grew softer and softer.

"I'm so tired... Sister, please stop scolding me, please stop scolding me."

Xu Qinghuan finally noticed Lin An's low spirits. She slowly lowered her hand and fell silent, but Lin An's expression was completely indifferent, only showing exhaustion.

He just wanted to get a good night's sleep, he thought.

Chapter Fourteen: Porcelain white, like a beam of moonlight.

The room was quiet and silent.

Lin An slowly raised his head and looked at the stiff expression on Xu Qinghuan's face. His head was spinning again. He hoped that his sister would be asleep when he got home, so that he wouldn't have so many worries.

But she was waiting for him to come home.

"Sister, I know what you want to say, I know what you're angry about... I also want to go home by myself, but I didn't bring an umbrella and I can't get a taxi."

"So I just wanted to wait on the steps until the rain stopped. I knew you wouldn't come to pick me up, and there was no need for you to come. I just wanted to wait and see. I would go back once the rain stopped, but I just happened to run into her."

"She was just chatting with me. I really didn't say anything intentional. I just wanted to push her far away and avoid any further involvement in the future."

"But then I felt really dizzy, and I couldn't argue with her anymore. She led me home. I really wanted to leave, but I didn't have the strength. I really didn't have any left, sister."

"She fed me medicine, she held me while I slept, she whispered to me, she kissed me, and she said she liked me."

“But when I woke up, she wanted me to stay overnight, so I ran away. I even deleted her contact information. I just wanted to go home as soon as possible because I was afraid my sister would be angry.”

“I walked back. It was very cold outside. I thought that once I got home, my sister would be asleep, and I wouldn’t have to make her angry. I know why she’s angry. If she says I’m wrong, then I’m wrong.”

"It's all my fault, but, sister, I'm so tired, I'm really so tired. Can you stop talking? Or you can hit me a couple of times and let me go to sleep, okay?"

Lin An seemed to be just a child who had done something wrong, but when he looked up, his expression had a hint of self-mockery.

It's that kind of self-mockery, especially heartbreaking.

"I know I was wrong, sister, let me rest." Lin An's voice was now pleading, but Xu Qinghuan was overwhelmed by a huge panic.

Panic engulfed her completely, like a vast, overwhelming tide of shadows.

Because she could clearly sense that the love in her younger brother's eyes, which always held tenderness and affection no matter what, was gradually fading.

It was as if he had finally grown tired, chasing after the butterfly only to find it getting further and further away, and finally gave up. The only thing left in his eyes when he looked at her was weariness, and the burning, tender love was gone.

Xu Qinghuan was stunned and speechless. The hickey on his neck was glaring. She began to wonder if she had made a mistake. But what was the point of dwelling on it now?

Lin An looked at her face, her voice still so tired, "If you have something to say, let's talk about it tomorrow, okay... I will still listen to you, I will still listen to everything you say."

"If my sister says I'm wrong, then I'm wrong. My sister is always right. It's my fault. I want to sleep now, sister."

He slowly turned around, his steps like dragging a heavy body, to brush his teeth, wash his face, then went back to his room, closed the door, locked it, crawled into bed, and closed his eyes.

The small living room felt empty, but Xu Qinghuan's head seemed to be buzzing.

Lin An's words were all correct, but his eyes were now utterly empty; the love he once had had been completely worn away by her.

That's not how it should be! If that woman Su Yuejin hadn't appeared, my brother wouldn't have turned out like this!

But Xu Qinghuan suddenly realized, suddenly understood...

It was raining heavily today. He looked so lonely waiting to go home. He also had a fever. When he's sick, he gets listless and loses interest in many things. But at that time, she didn't choose to call a familiar taxi driver to pick him up, nor did she choose to bring him an umbrella.

And that woman, at that time, took him home, fed him medicine, held him and coaxed him to sleep. Su Yuejin, that woman, was so beautiful and arrogant, but she also had a gentle side. That kind of gentleness was an alluring poison.

It's breathtaking, it's addictive.

But the younger brother still went home. He still wanted to see her and missed her because it was the two of them who made this family. After returning home, he chose to explain and admit his mistakes as soon as possible, but he was met with her sarcasm and sarcastic remarks. She even kicked him.

But he didn't argue with her; he was just tired and went back to his room to sleep.

Xu Qinghuan finally came to her senses and realized how stupid she had been!

She had to do something, she had to do something. If she did nothing, when he woke up tomorrow, if that woman Su Yuejin came to see him again, he would definitely fall for her, he would definitely be infatuated, he would definitely be captivated by that woman. And when her younger brother really wanted this love, that stupid woman Su Yuejin would definitely... fall in love with him too!

Xu Qinghuan realized she had to do something, now!

But when she rushed to Lin An's room and tried to open the door, she discovered...

The door is locked.

………………

"Open the door." Xu Qinghuan's voice trembled slightly.

But there was no response for a long time, as if Lin An had fallen asleep. Xu Qinghuan grew increasingly frightened, and she knocked on the door, "Open the door for me, Lin An!"

After a few more seconds of silence, she heard footsteps.

But the door didn't open as promised. Lin An seemed to have shut himself away in his own little world, licking his wounds, not wanting anyone else to come in. "What's wrong?"

Lin An's voice was still so weak.

"It's my fault. I know you didn't do anything wrong. You're a good boy, you're very well-behaved. Open the door, and I'll apologize to you, okay?"

"No need to apologize, sister."

Lin An sat down with his back against the door, as if he were muttering to himself, "My sister is not wrong, it's all my fault, it's all my fault."

"Don't worry, sister, I won't have any contact with Su Yuejin, and I won't love her. There's no future for me loving her; we're not from the same world."

"I am, I am, I'm a little tired. I don't know how to say it, I'm just so tired. Sister, maybe my brain is fried. I feel very uncomfortable."

"I admit it, when Su Yuejin hugged me, I was really moved, because she became so gentle and cute, not so arrogant and not so silly. When she coaxed me, it really touched my heart."

"I also want to have a normal relationship, not the kind that my sister forces me to. I also want to find someone I like to pamper and love me. I also think about it, and I also feel lonely and isolated, sister."

"Open the door for me, Lin An. I apologize to you. Look me in the eyes and say it into my ear..."

"Go to sleep, sister," Lin An advised Xu Qinghuan.

"Stop bothering me, stop scolding me, stop dangling me like this. I'm scared, I'm really scared." His voice was like that of a frantic deer being cornered by a hunter at a cliff edge. It seemed that if the hunter took just one more step, he would fall off the cliff and be smashed to pieces.

Xu Qinghuan fell silent. Her nose suddenly felt sore, and she felt a little breathless. Leaning against the door, she pleaded, "Lin An, open the door... please, open the door."

But Lin An didn't open the door. He stood there in a daze in the dark room. He liked the heavy rain, he liked the darkness, he liked places without any light, because it made him feel safe.

A torrential rain was falling on the boy's heart, as if it would drown the whole world.

..............................

Xu Qinghuan was really going crazy with worry. In the past, whenever she did something wrong, as long as she spoke softly and sweetly to her younger brother, he would quickly forgive her. In other words, he never blamed her or got angry with her.

But this time, Lin An wasn't even angry. He didn't even have a way to apologize. He was just tired. In this torturous tug-of-war, he had lost first, and he didn't want to continue being the one being tormented.

But his choice was not to self-destruct, but to withdraw, to finally give up.

"Lin An, please open the door. Tonight, I'll hold you while you sleep. If you have any grievances or are unhappy, you can tell me. I'll give you a kiss, okay?"

But the boy in the room just shook his head.

"Sister, go to sleep. It's late. You'll get eye bags if you stay up late. You care so much about your appearance, so stop fooling around and go to sleep."

"You don't want your sister anymore, do you? Lin An...you can't abandon your sister...you can't..."

"No, I've always been by my sister's side." Lin An's voice was very soft. "Haven't I always been by my sister's side? I do whatever my sister says. When my sister told me to date, I did. I tried my best to pretend that I wasn't myself, to deceive an innocent girl into liking me. This feeling is really tiring."

"Sister, you know I don't like her, you know who I like."

A glimmer of hope seemed to appear in Xu Qinghuan's eyes, like a drowning person grasping at a straw. But Lin An continued, speaking haltingly, "But liking someone is so tiring. If liking someone is such a torturous thing, then just give up."

"It seems like everything has gone back to the days when we were in the orphanage. Sister, if you give me candy, I want to be nice to you. But no other girl ever gives me candy. When I do, I'm tempted. Other girls' candy is delicious too. I like candy. I don't like taking medicine. I'm the kind of person who goes crazy if I don't have candy."

"Lin An, open the door."

"I won't open it."

"If you don't open the door, I'll jump off the building."

Xu Qinghuan's voice carried a hint of madness. She stood at the door, her eyes resolute and her tone firm. A few seconds later, the door opened.

Lin An saw the girl in front of him, who was shorter than him, with tears streaming down her porcelain-white cheeks.

Xu Qinghuan rushed forward almost instantly and hugged him.

Lin An simply looked down and watched silently, his expression remaining largely unchanged.

"Why are you wearing clothes to sleep when you have a fever? Take them off, take them all off." Xu Qinghuan looked into his eyes, slowly let go of his hand, and took off his T-shirt. She stood there, her fingers gently peeling off the shoulder straps.

Her nightgown slipped down and fell to the floor. She didn't wear underwear at home.

The girl in front of me was completely naked.

It's porcelain white, like a beam of moonlight.

Chapter Fifteen: Creak, creak

The girl beside him was both fiery and cool. Lin An didn't know what was cool about it; perhaps it was the teardrop that had fallen onto his collar.

Xu Qinghuan hugged him tightly. The feeling of her smooth skin touching his skin was especially subtle. Her sister was like a child, with such beautiful skin. Lin An didn't say anything. Xu Qinghuan hugged him and pulled the blanket tighter.

"Sleep well, I'll hold you. Don't move around. You can touch me, and if you really want it, I'll give it to you."

Her voice was soft, but with a slightly childlike quality. She leaned close to his ear, and Lin An simply hugged her gently. The weariness on his face seemed to have finally eased, like a child who had just received candy and was grinning foolishly, though he himself didn't realize it.

What he wanted was actually very simple, Xu Qinghuan suddenly understood.

"I don't want to, sister, just hold me, just hold me." Lin An murmured twice. Being held like this, she felt inexplicably at ease. It wasn't lust, just pure warmth.

"Okay, I'll hold you, but you're not allowed to move. I want to kiss you too."

Xu Qinghuan nestled close to his neck, like a kitten drinking water, and licked it with her tongue.

..............................

Xu Qinghuan fell asleep, and Lin An's mind finally returned to normal, but his expression was not quite right.

The girl in her sleep had a sweet smile, but her tears just now were real.

But you forced me to do this, didn't you? Sister, I didn't want it to be like this either. I didn't want to act all wronged and make you feel guilty.

But you've been torturing me and keeping me hanging on like this, so it's not my fault, right?

If you hadn't come to coax me tonight, I really would have fallen for Su Yuejin. That woman has a strange kind of magic. But I knew you would come; you love me.

You can use my love for you to manipulate and torment me, and I can do the same. It's just a matter of who loves whom more, isn't it?

Lin An gently stroked her hair. The girl's skin was faintly white in the darkness, but Lin An really didn't want to do anything to her. He knew that if he did it with his sister now, she might become a foolish woman and be more easily swayed by him.