Why are you always thinking about dating me?

“Explain, give me a proper explanation. Come on, I’m sitting right here now, listening to your explanation. Yes, you’ve succeeded… I’ve been very annoyed these past two days, extremely annoyed. You’ve made me develop a habit and a dependence, yet I’m thinking of taking back everything you gave me… Yes, I’m jealous, I’m envious. That’s why you were so sure I would come, right?”

"You knew I would come... So, this can be considered our first weekend date, right? Heh... Heh heh, Lin An, I underestimated you."

"You didn't even ask her out... You think I'll give in to you like that? You think... you think... I'll... I'll..."

Lin An just watched Qin Xueming's slightly excited expression. He seemed a little frustrated, but when he looked up, he looked somewhat defeated.

Qin Xueming felt confident of victory, believed she had seen through all of Lin An's thoughts, and felt that the power was still in her hands. So she stood on high ground and mocked him without restraint.

But when Lin An looked up, the sense of defeat was not the shame of being exposed.

Instead, it was a sense of loss.

It was a definite loss.

This sense of loss suddenly made Qin Xueming feel inexplicably flustered.

"Is that how you see me... Sister Xue?" Lin An murmured softly.

"Perhaps you think I am that kind of person... Well, I guess I have no way to defend myself. You always think what you want to think, and you always put yourself on a pedestal, as if you are standing on a cloud looking down on mortals."

"Then perhaps we really aren't suited to be friends. Okay, okay... let's leave it at that then, that's enough."

"You think I have designs on you, that I have feelings for you... Well then, let's just stop contacting each other. We don't need to argue, since there's no real conflict between us."

"You got a little too excited just now."

Lin An blocked her and then deleted her contact information right in front of her. Qin Xueming watched his actions step by step, but a minute or two later, she heard the door open.

A girl in a white dress walked into the cat café. She had a sweet and lovely smile. When she saw Lin An, Lin An looked up and saw her too, and waved to her.

"Over here, over here."

The girl walked over, looking slightly dazed. "Eh, Qin Xueming?"

“She just happened to be here too, and that’s how we met… Come, sit down, the cats here are all so well-behaved.” Lin An said gently to the girl. There were some small freeze-dried snacks on the table. Lin An asked her to open her hand and put the small freeze-dried snacks into the girl’s hand.

"You can use this to lure all the cats over," Lin An said with a gentle smile.

Qin Xueming stared blankly at him, at the girl who had come to Lin An's side and had to sit next to him because she had taken the seat opposite him.

Qin Xueming suddenly noticed that Lin An's gaze towards her had changed.

Previously, his eyes held a hint of admiration and ordinary tenderness towards his friends, but now, they held a touch of helplessness and self-deprecation.

But in the end, Lin An said nothing more.

He was quietly chatting with the girl next to him about cats, playing with the cats with her. He seemed to have a natural affinity for catnip, and the cats were willing to get close to him, so the girl was very happy because she also liked cats.

When Lin An was with this girl, he showed more gentleness than he did with Qin Xueming, a relationship that was somewhere between friendship and gentleness. Therefore, he restrained many of his emotions.

She watched as he reached out and gently pinched her cheek. The girl blushed and got a little angry, but her eyes seemed to show a hint of shyness, though not aversion.

Qin Xueming finally realized at this moment... that she was more like a clown.

Her arrogance seems excessive.

....................................

Qin Xueming stood up and turned to leave.

She stopped thinking about anything else because her mind was a mess. She needed to walk faster because her tears were about to fall... She didn't want to cry, she couldn't cry, it had been a long time since she had cried in front of others.

She left like that, returned home like that, and buried herself under the covers. On Saturday and Sunday, she stayed in her room, silent and still, without saying another word.

After returning to school, she didn't go to see Lin An again, and Lin An didn't go to see her either. The two of them didn't play games together anymore, and Lin An's contact with that girl inexplicably decreased. Lin An began to return to his old life, eating alone and playing games alone, as if he would be happy like this.

Another week passed, until Monday of the following week, during PE class, Qin Xueming walked up to Lin An, holding a badminton racket in her hand.

"Want to play?" she asked.

"No." Lin An shook his head, but after a few seconds, he added, "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing to me?"

"Because I blurred the definition of friendship, I've been acting strangely lately. I shouldn't have been thinking about finding a girl to date, so I made it clear to that girl that we're now very good friends, and it seems like that's fine too. Not being too close is much better."

"Oh." Qin Xueming nodded.

"I don't like to admit defeat, but it seems I have indeed lost to you, Lin An."

"what?"

Qin Xueming walked towards him step by step, then reached out and grabbed his collar. "You had ulterior motives from the very beginning, and you orchestrated all of this, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"Even though I knew it was a conspiracy, I still fell for it... Come on, Lin An, let's play a game. If you can beat me, I'll be your girlfriend."

"That sounds like a challenge."

Then Lin An played a game with her, but Lin An lost.

Because he didn't want to play seriously anymore; it was boring.

"Why?" she asked, looking into his eyes.

"Instead of leaving this to luck or probability, why not follow your heart? Do you like me, Qin Xueming?" His question seemed somewhat confused, but when Qin Xueming looked into his eyes, her heart inexplicably raced, and she turned her face away.

"I don't want to confess... You do it."

"Oh, I like you, Qin Xueming."

"That 'oh' sounds so perfunctory... Lin An." She looked into his eyes, her lips slightly pouting, as if she was somewhat dissatisfied.

"Because I think that for both of us, liking someone is something that should happen naturally. As long as you know that I like you, that's enough. The kind of liking I'm talking about is wanting to be together forever, Qin Xueming. And what about you?"

"What would you think? Would you just be playing around, or would you be trying to find the answer through trial and error, and then keep going? I think I would love you even more then, and you would love me even more... I think I will always love you like this, and I will in the future."

“I think this is the right answer you want to hear, Qin Xueming… not those strange, romantic, and artistic love words. Those things seem childish and unbelievable to both of us.”

"Then, let's be together," Qin Xueming replied softly.

"okay."

"But girls always want to hear sweet words... I'm not a fairy. When I'm in front of you, I'm Qin Xueming, so I'll want to hear them too. Remember that."

"Okay, I'll tell you about it later."

The story is so simple and pure that it is flawless, but what lies beneath is inexplicable and twisted.

..............................

Lin An finished his story there. He lowered his head and looked at Luo Shuishui, who was listening with a slightly dazed expression. "So...did you trick her from the very beginning? Or...did she really just overestimate herself?"

"Ah... this problem doesn't seem so important anymore."

Because Lin An has already told Qin Xueming the whole truth. If that's not thorough enough or clear enough, it can actually be summarized in the simplest sentence, giving all the logic of this story a basis.

The class monitor in Qin Xueming's class was named Xu Qinghuan.

Chapter 85 If One Day You Say You Like Me

"No, tell me, did you trick her or not?" Luo Shuishui gently grabbed Lin An's arm, puffing out her cheeks, seemingly taking this matter very seriously.

"Oh... okay, okay, my sister taught me."

"Your sister?"

"It's the class monitor in the story, the girl I introduced to Qin Xueming. Actually, she's my older sister... but we're not related by blood at all. I didn't want to do this at the time, but Xu Qinghuan scared me. She told me that if I didn't do this, the longer it dragged on, the harder it would be for us to be together. We would become more and more like friends, and we would get along better and better, but it would become very difficult for us to become lovers."

"Then... I was tricked by Xu Qinghuan. Although she succeeded in the end, and half a month later, I explained the whole story to Qin Xueming. Qin Xueming bit me hard as punishment, but she still chose to be with me. It seems that everything was within Xu Qinghuan's calculations. In the end, Xu Qinghuan and Qin Xueming became very good friends."

"And then? Why did you break up?" Luo Shuishui actually had a vague idea of ​​the answer, but she still wanted to get the real result from Lin An.

"Because in the third year of junior high school, her parents found out about this relationship, and then... she said goodbye to me."

"Qin Xueming's upbringing was very strict, to the point of being slightly distorted. It was precisely this family environment that made Qin Xueming mature very early. She was very smart, but because of this, she couldn't make many friends, which was actually a kind of foolishness. But she had gotten used to it, used to not resisting, used to being submissive, used to listening to all her family's ideas, used to having her life controlled by them... So, she broke up with me."

"Didn't you try to persuade them to stay?" Luo Shuishui asked, tilting her head.

“During that time, my adoptive parents died in a car accident. I had a lot of things to do and my emotions were very fragile. For me, her passing was a very painful thing.”

"She was supposed to be the last straw I grabbed when I was drowning, but later I realized that I was the camel and she was the last straw that broke my back."

Lin An smiled helplessly, but these were no longer things to be sad about; he had long since let go of them.

"Do you blame her?" Luo Shuishui asked softly.

Lin An shook his head.

“How can I blame her? I used selfish methods to pursue her back then, and she forgave me for it, so what right do I have to blame her? Actually, I really don’t blame her… If she had left me with even just one sentence when she left, like ‘Wait for me,’ I would have waited for her forever, and I would have worked hard until I could stand beside her.”

“But she didn’t say anything… She just left without taking anything with her… Ha… Ha.” Lin An sighed softly again, thought for a moment, “So what’s there to blame? What’s meant to leave can’t be kept. Besides, it’s because she’s been tamed for too long and can’t be changed overnight. Of course, there’s nothing that can be done. If I blame her, I’ll feel disgusted with myself.”

"But... I don't want to see her again, because I've completely erased the memories between us, and I hope she has too."

"So you're still going to see her after she asked you out?"

“Not seeing her is escapism, a bigger nightmare, and something I can’t forget. So I have to see her. I want to see that she’s doing well, and then tell her that I’m doing well too… But I’m afraid that if I go to see her alone, I’ll lose to her. So I need to bring someone else with me. It’s not to show off to her, but just in case.”

"So you chose me?"

"Yes, I need you, Shui Shui."

"You think I won't call you scum just because you said that? Hmph... Heh." Luo Shuishui gently tilted her head back, hugged the cat in her arms, and slapped Lin An's face with the cat's paw.

"Speaking of which, this story is quite interesting, but there are still some details I don't understand, such as why Qin Xueming fell in love with you?"

"Because she is lonely, although she disdains to admit it, the long-term high pressure has made her a rational person. So when she senses the warmth of companionship, her emotions, which she has sealed away, will gradually emerge, shaking her rationality, and then intertwining to form the illusion of love... But love is an illusion. Love is nothing, and love can be interpreted as anything."

"Because of her loneliness, she didn't want to lose me as a friend. But before that, she had never thought about love. So that was her first risky attempt. After that, she also found it interesting and gradually became more like a real person. She could act coquettishly, get jealous, be unreasonable, and have a little temper. She would also gently hold you in her arms."

"And what about you? Why do you like her?"

"Because she's pretty," Lin An replied earnestly, spreading his hands.

"I thought you were going to give some convincing reason that wouldn't make people look down on you."

"That's your fault, Luo Shuishui... Everyone has different high values ​​that attract the opposite sex. Being good-looking is a good value, being rich is a high value, being eloquent is a high value, being humorous and interesting is also a high value, but the simplest and most intuitive one is being good-looking. So I want to give it a try, but if she is good-looking but has a very annoying and childish rich girl personality, then for me, she will probably make me hate her."

"And I actually quite like girls who are a bit more rational, not overly romantic, and who can keep each other's space. So I wanted to give it a try... Who knew that her first question was if I wanted to pursue her? So I had to bite the bullet and say yes. Sigh."

"Okay, okay... what you said seems to make sense, although I think it's sophistry, hmph." Luo Shuishui's little nose twitched slightly, then she held up a finger, "Well, one last question."

"You said."

What kind of person is your sister, Xu Qinghuan?