Why are you always thinking about dating me?

"Oh? Friend, you've come to visit me."

"You won't even let me come to your house... other girls can." Su Yuejin's voice sounded very aggrieved.

"Huh? Next time, next time," Lin An always replied, then after a few seconds, "She also said I'm bad!"

"..." Lin An was speechless. "Then I can't exactly make her kowtow to you, can I?"

"..." Su Yuejin also fell silent.

After finishing the game, Lin An logged off temporarily. He exited the voice chat and looked at Qin Xueming. The outfit she was wearing today suited her well because of her slender figure. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking quiet and well-behaved.

"Ah... what's wrong?"

"Xu Qinghuan has signed it. What about you, Lin An? Do you want to think about it some more?"

"Oh, no need, thank you anyway, it's alright."

Lin An refused as decisively as ever, because he didn't have much of a concept of money and didn't have any particularly large expenses. He was already quite frugal with his money, and because he didn't have a social circle, he spent even less. He also didn't keep an anime wife to satisfy his spiritual emptiness.

"Okay... By the way, I have another question I'd like to ask."

"Oh? Go ahead and ask."

"What is your relationship with Su Yuejin, and what about Xiao Chacha?"

"This... a good friend?" Lin An scratched his head. Faced with her gaze, this was the only answer he could think of, and it seemed to be the most appropriate choice. After a few seconds, Qin Xueming seemed to hesitate.

"Just say what you want to say." Lin An noticed her hesitation.

"If you pay close attention, you'll actually notice that I was in the car downstairs in your apartment complex yesterday afternoon." Qin Xueming thought for a moment and added, "I wanted to come and deliver this to you yesterday, but you weren't there when I arrived, so I waited in the car downstairs. Then I saw you go home with a girl. That girl's name is Xiao Chacha. I've met her before and even looked her up. She's a total scumbag who's dated several girls at the same time."

"Then I saw you and her go upstairs. To avoid any misunderstandings that might cause you trouble, I thought I would come find you after she left. When she came downstairs, it was six o'clock in the afternoon. I finished watching the group stage, and I was thinking about whether Xiao Shuaisheng was really throwing the game, and that the OUL team was really interesting. Then I saw Xiao Chacha carrying a bag of trash downstairs and throwing it in the trash can next to me. She didn't even see me."

"And then?" Lin An suddenly sensed a hint of danger.

Qin Xueming just stared straight at his face.

He didn't say anything.

After a few seconds, Lin An asked, feeling particularly awkward, "Don't tell me, Miss Qin Xueming, that you went through the trash can and opened that trash bag out of curiosity."

"I was mainly curious because Xiao Chacha's walk seemed a bit awkward." Qin Xueming turned her face away, her cheeks slightly flushed, and her voice lowered. "Who knew... you guys really..."

Before Qin Xueming could speak, Lin An reached out and covered her mouth.

"Stop, that's enough. You know what I mean, so keep your voice down. You probably didn't..."

"I didn't tell Xu Qinghuan." Qin Xueming shook her head.

"Ah, I see." Lin An's mind was a little confused, but in his line of sight, Qin Xueming's legs were crossed under her skirt, and then she crossed her arms over her chest. Her originally calm and indifferent face seemed to have a hint of mockery.

"So why don't you dare tell Xu Qinghuan?"

“This matter is a bit complicated. I think you…” Lin An noticed that he saw the smile on Qin Xueming’s face, as if she had suddenly become a different person, so he felt he needed to change the subject.

"So why didn't you come up to find me after that?"

"Because my mind was a bit of a mess, I didn't expect you to actually turn out like this... so I left, thinking I'd calm down and come back tomorrow."

She said this, and a few seconds passed.

"Actually, I cried. I didn't want you to see my swollen eyes, they looked so ugly, so I went home and only came today."

Is this a lame joke?

"You really cried." Qin Xueming lowered her head and answered softly, looking into Lin An's eyes, "How did you become like this, Lin An?"

"Did Xu Qinghuan teach you?" she asked.

"No, that doesn't count... It's my fault, it's my own problem. What do you want?"

"I don't want to do anything." Qin Xueming shook her head. Her eyes were still clear, but many things had quietly changed, so the way the two of them communicated had become somewhat strange.

"I just wanted to confirm if you've really become like this." She said this, her tone ambiguous, neither clear of disappointment nor melancholy. As they were talking, Xu Qinghuan suddenly poked her head out from outside the door.

"I need to go out for a bit, Lin An, you two can continue your conversation."

"Where are you going? It's raining." Lin An asked subconsciously. He usually wouldn't ask, but now that Xu Qinghuan was gone, he felt less safe.

He suddenly became a little afraid of Qin Xueming. This girl now knew one of his weaknesses, which made him feel a bit threatened. However, Xu Qinghuan did not notice. "A friend of mine was cheated on by her boyfriend and invited me to eat hot pot. I have to go and comfort her. This girl is naive, and I think I still have to teach her a lesson."

"Why didn't you teach her sooner?"

“Some things people only learn to change after they experience pain. If I had told her back then, she would only have thought I was ruining their relationship. There was no need for that.”

"It seems so."

"Then I'm going out, Lin An, hehe, you... behave yourself." Xu Qinghuan looked into Lin An's eyes.

"What? You're making it sound like I'm going to do something." Lin An looked at Xu Qinghuan with a resentful expression, while Xu Qinghuan just winked at him. "I'm just reminding you, hehe."

"Oh, bye-bye. If it rains too hard, just let me know and I'll try to pick you up."

"Okay," Xu Qinghuan replied, and then walked out the door.

Xu Qinghuan really left. Lin An heard her close the door. Did she really have something to do? Or did she want to see his and Qin Xueming's reaction when they were alone? She probably really had something to do, Lin An thought to himself. Qin Xueming still had her arms crossed, and her gaze seemed to hold a hint of inexplicable melancholy.

"How did you become like this, Lin An?"

"What have I become?" With Xu Qinghuan gone, he no longer needed to speak timidly.

“A bad kid.” Qin Xueming hesitated before speaking.

"Am I a bad kid?" He looked into her eyes. "Tell me, what makes someone a bad kid?"

"You can't... at least you shouldn't, maintain relationships with two girls at the same time without making commitments to them."

"You think I'm wrong, don't you?" Lin An looked at her face.

“I can’t explain it, but I just feel… this is not something you should be doing. I’m wondering if Xu Qinghuan has been pushing you too hard these past two years, or if she’s been letting you be too free. You already had some psychological issues, and now you’ve become like this. If this continues, you will be in great pain when you face the end.”

"Hmm? Tell me, why?" Lin An was willing to listen to her continue.

"I've researched a lot about Su Yuejin and Xiao Chacha, and I've built a model based on what I've seen and felt. Su Yuejin is just a silly girl who lacked love in her childhood, but she's proud and untainted by worldly affairs, so her love is passionate. But after seeing the truth of reality, or rather, after she's tasted love, over time, she'll understand, and then it will fade, and she won't love you anymore."

“I know,” Lin An nodded.

This is why Lin An and Su Yuejin said that if one day you can really make me fall in love with you, then you will no longer love me.

"Xiao Chacha and you... I don't really know much about her. I only know that she was sexually attracted to women before, and that she had dated several girls and had ambiguous relationships with many other girls. I don't know how she fell in love with you and even broke up with her previous girlfriends. But, and this is important, people like her who chase after momentary thrills are actually selfish and self-serving. They rarely consider the other person's feelings. Once she's tired of playing around, or rather, once she's satisfied, she won't love you."

“I know… I really know.”

"What about you then? What will you do? Losing two girls at once." Qin Xueming asked this question very seriously.

"As long as I'm not tempted, that's fine, isn't it?"

"But your psychological flaw... is like this: you don't understand being loved at all. You will actively pursue love, but when you are loved, you are at a loss. You will slowly sink and slowly fall into it. Then when you let go and are abandoned, you will be sad."

Perhaps to be more precise and specific, Qin Xueming closed her eyes and whispered, "Just like when I left you back then, you don't want to experience that feeling again, do you?"

Lin An slowly froze, unable to speak.

"When you were pursuing me back then, you didn't like me that much, did you? We gradually fell in love with each other. But when I left, how sad were you? I don't know... but I think you must have been very sad. So I'm also in pain. I didn't have the courage to choose you. That's something I regret for the rest of my life."

"I hate my cowardly self back then, but there's nothing I can do to undo it."

“I’ve never blamed you,” Lin An said softly.

“…I know.” Qin Xueming raised her head, trying not to let her tears fall. “So I will only feel more guilty and sad.”

"It's all in the past." Lin An seemed to want to say something to ease the atmosphere, after all, he didn't really want to see Qin Xueming cry.

"So, I don't want you to be sad again, Lin An."

She spoke very seriously, then reached out a hand and gently placed it on his shoulder.

"Turning back is the right path."

"..."

Lin An felt somewhat powerless, not because she felt lost and helpless as she described, but because she felt powerless to even complain.

　He looked into her eyes with a hint of helplessness, "Please, are you so sure that I'll be the one who suffers in the end?"

"if not?"

Lin An wanted to say something to refute Qin Xueming, but he subconsciously couldn't find a point to refute. He glanced at the rain outside the window, which seemed to be getting heavier, and wondered if Xu Qinghuan would be able to come back later.

Xu Qinghuan... wait, Xu Qinghuan.

Lin An found the answer.

"But I still need Xu Qinghuan, she will always be behind me."

"Don't talk nonsense. Does Xu Qinghuan really love you?" Qin Xueming said calmly, but these words shattered his illusions.

Lin An's expression turned somewhat grim. He stood up from his chair and looked at Qin Xueming.

Qin Xueming remained silent, staring at him for several seconds.

Then she said, "Okay... I still don't understand what Xu Qinghuan is thinking, so what I said just now was just my subjective feeling. Maybe you're right, Xu Qinghuan has always loved you."

"Don't say maybe, it's definitely true."

"Alright... if you say so, then so be it." Qin Xueming sighed helplessly.

--------------

P.S.: I'd like to recommend my good friend's new book.

"The villainous young master doesn't want to date the cute, mature female lead." (Probably)

The story is about a villainous young master who takes the path the male protagonist was supposed to take, leaving him with nowhere to go, and then takes all the female protagonists along with him.

An experienced author, the writing quality is guaranteed, it's a great read, definitely worth checking out!

……

The bonus chapters for monthly tickets will be paid off in the second half of the month, with one chapter for every 300 monthly tickets accumulated.

Chapter Ninety-Eight: Goodbye

Lin An felt like he had been seeing ghosts lately.

Yesterday, Xiao Chacha broke his defenses once, and today his ex-girlfriend broke them a second time. Both times, he was speechless and felt a particular sense of powerlessness. It shouldn't be like this.

Therefore, Lin An wanted to avoid this matter and talk to Qin Xueming about something else.