Unspeakable bubbles

She paused before the tightly closed door, and just as she was about to turn back, she saw a strange man.

The man looked very young, around twenty years old, with an ordinary face, the kind of face you'd easily forget.

However, his attire and behavior were highly suspicious.

Dressed in a proper black robe and holding a thick religious text, the man stood in front of the school gate, his face full of conflict.

He would sometimes step forward and sometimes back, muttering something under his breath, which was rather creepy.

'Where have all the security guards gone? They should hurry up and get rid of this suspicious guy.'

"Hey!" Yuko shouted.

"Hey you over there, yes, it's you. What are you doing, sneaking around like that!"

The man in the black robe was clearly startled; he looked nervous and asked, "Ah, me?"

"Could there be someone else?!" Yuko said impatiently.

"Um, sorry, I'm not a suspicious person."

"Hmph, a suspicious person will never admit to being suspicious!" Yuko put her hands on her hips and glared at the guy: "Why don't you tell the truth!"

The man's face showed a wavering expression, and he looked embarrassed.

'Are all kids these days so difficult to talk to? It's true, communicating with people outside the church is incredibly challenging for me.'

'Sigh, I thought it would be okay since the other person was just a child. I was so naive.'

"I'm leaving now." The man lowered his head and was about to walk away.

"Wait!" Yu Zi suddenly became interested when she saw that the man seemed easy to bully.

"I can't just let you go like this. You must have a reason for revealing your name, or I'll call for help."

"Eh"

The man was stunned. Apart from his childhood sweetheart, this was the first time he had encountered such an unreasonable little girl.

At that moment, he remembered his father's teachings: "Everything is guided by chaos."

The man glanced thoughtfully at Yuko and honestly said, "My name is Matthew, and I'm here to see someone I've always wanted to see."

Section 43, Chapter 043: Selfish Desires

"Then what are you standing here for? Hurry up and go see the person you 'want to see'."

"Don't you know the way? Just ask me for directions." Yu Zi smiled with a hint of malice.

"Well, it's not a matter of whether I know the way or not."

After a pause, Matthew continued, "I haven't decided whether I want to see him or not. No, I had already given up before you called me."

"What? Boring? Is that really all it is?"

Yu Zi glanced at him: "I thought some suspicious person from some dubious church was planning a terrorist attack on our school."

Matthew touched his nose. To be honest, the girl in front of him was half right.

"So you were lying to me when you said you'd show me the way, right? If you keep lying, your nose might grow long!"

"Hmph, I really will show you the way."

Yu Zi snorted coldly, "But now I've changed my mind. Since you're not an interesting person, even if you kneel down and beg, I won't help you."

Matthew found the girl in front of him very interesting. If she was a suspicious person, would she lead the way for him? If not, would she refuse to help him?

"What's your name?"

"...Ikuko Sakakihara"

Normally, given Yuko's personality, she should have turned around and left by now.

For some reason, when Matthew asked her in a friendly manner, Yuko couldn't help but respond to him in a less prickly tone.

Upon closer inspection, this guy looked ordinary, but surprisingly, he gave me a sense of familiarity.

"Who are you looking for? Maybe I know them," Yu Zi asked, uttering an unnecessary question.

“I’m looking for someone, well, someone who could have become a church member, but is now unlikely to be.”

Yu Zi glanced at Matthew's black priestly attire. "You want to convert him to the church? By the way, which church do you belong to?"

"No, I just want to do him a big favor. Whether or not he joins the church is his own choice."

Matthew answered the first question but ignored Yuko's second.

"Want to help? Then what are you doing pacing back and forth outside? You don't want to help anymore?"

"That's not it..."

Matthew sighed with some distress: "I really want to help him, but it goes against the church's doctrine."

The man's face took on a sacred expression: "To gain, one must first lose; we must never give without cause."

"Then what are you still agonizing over? It's all against your own dogma."

Yu Zi looked at him, puzzled: "Is your church so tolerant that it's okay to break the dogma?"

"That's absolutely not the case."

Matthew's expression changed immediately. "No matter who it is, those who violate the sacred rules will be punished."

"only,"

The man hesitated before saying, "I really want to help him; after all, he was my idol."

Matthew began to speak casually: “My father used to talk about him, saying that even in a prejudiced world, there are clear-headed people.”

“My father rarely praised people… At that time, I was curious about the senior who had been highly praised by my father.”

Matthew said with deep emotion, "Later, my father showed me a video of that senior's speech."

"I never expected that someone outside the church would have such insightful views."

The man's voice choked as he spoke, "I was young then, you have no idea how moved I was."

“I’ve always been a reclusive person. Apart from my father, I don’t even really want to talk to my fellow church members.”

"It was after watching that video that I began to believe that there are people in this prejudiced world who can understand us."

Matthew wiped his eyes: "That video gave me courage, and since then I've started trying to connect with outsiders."

"And so? Now you feel they're no different from you, and you can communicate with them normally?"

Yu Zi listened with great interest and couldn't wait to ask.

Well,

Matthew gave a wry smile: "Communicating with fellow believers is no problem, but ordinary people who haven't attained enlightenment still can't do it."

He thought for a moment and then gave an analogy: "You are like aliens in human skin. I'm afraid to even walk with you, let alone communicate with you."

"Pshaw, you're the alien. Wait, you're talking to me like that, aren't you scared at all!"

Yuko's eyes widened, her face full of suspicion.

"People always have to make progress, and I've been working really hard lately. I can barely handle kids like Yuko."

“What do you mean, ‘little kid’? I’m already thirteen!” Yu Zi said, quite displeased.

"Uh-huh"

Nodding insincerely, Matthew continued, "Now you understand, right? It was because that senior gave me the courage that I can speak to you like this today. So, I'm really troubled."

You want to help him, but you can't.

Yuko sat down against the iron railing. "What exactly does 'to gain, one must first lose' mean?"

Matthew sat down as well, back to back with Yuko, like two old friends.

"You can see it as an equivalent exchange. Unfortunately, he can no longer afford to pay that price now."

"Want some candy?" Matthew asked, pulling a piece of peanut brittle from his pocket.

"Hmm." Yu Zi unwrapped the package and chewed it; the taste was not bad.

"Is there anything else? It's pretty good."

“There are plenty, and those kids all like them.” Matthew pulled out a handful of candy and stuffed it into Yuko’s hand.

"Those children?"

"As I said, I've been putting in a lot of effort lately. I've prepared quite a few candies to create a good atmosphere for communication."

"Oh, I see. Huh?"

Yuko suddenly frowned: "Doesn't this also violate your doctrine of 'equivalent exchange'? Those children don't have anything to give you."

"You gave something but didn't receive anything, isn't that 'giving alms without cause'?"

"wrong."

Matthew said calmly, "What you get doesn't have to be tangible. Giving them candy and seeing them laugh makes me very content."

"A sense of satisfaction is also a kind of gain."

"This will work?"

"That will certainly work."

Yu Zi's eyes lit up: "I said, isn't that easy to solve!"

"Just help your idol out, and you'll feel satisfied. That way, you're not violating any dogma."

Matthew sighed, "It still doesn't work."

"why?"

He straightened his expression and said in a serious tone, "In the end, self-satisfaction is nothing more than selfish desires."

"Giving candy to children is not a big problem, but what that senior wants is something that can change his life."

"To change someone else's life because of one's own selfish desires is a right that only 'gods' and 'saviors' have."