The most shameless alchemist in history

The Most Shameless Alchemist in History Author: Duke Blackfire

Emperor: What? The princess has been kidnapped? Where's the artillery commander? Bring out the magic cannon!

Pope: What? The saintess has been kidnapped? Where are the Holy Knights? Go and hunt them down immediately!

Alchemy Guild: What? You're asking about that guy? He was expelled from the guild a long time ago, and his actions have nothing to do with us!

Someone passing by: Huh? Du Lei? I don't know this person. Oh, fellow villager, your daughter is so beautiful!

A young boy from a poor, remote village, in this era where steam and magic coexist, carved out a vast empire with his shamelessness!

001 Actually, I'm a doctor

Hot Spring Village is located on the eastern border of the Miracle Continent, surrounded by mountains and famous for its hot springs. In earlier years, due to the treacherous roads, the village was isolated and had little contact with the outside world. However, with the advent of the steam age and the emergence of railways, the distance between the world was greatly shortened, and adventurers and merchants emerged in large numbers.

With the help of businessmen, the hot spring village was gradually transformed into a tourist destination. Every time it snows, it becomes the peak season for receiving tourists. Over the course of a winter, it can accommodate one or two hundred tourists, which is enough to bring a considerable income to this small village with only a few dozen people.

But recently, things have been quite unusual. In just two days, two to three hundred people have flooded into the village. Moreover, these people all look fierce and menacing, carrying guns and knives. Some have scars on their faces, while others have tattoos on their arms that represent the emblems of a certain guild. They are very different from the tourists who usually bring their families to visit.

With snow-covered peaks and the moon shining like frost, the mountaintop bathing area offers the best view and is the perfect choice for moon viewing and snow appreciation. Steaming mist fills the air, and delicate cherry blossoms drift down from the treetops beside the bathing pool, creating a dreamlike atmosphere. Of course, it would be even more wonderful if no one were to form a human ladder to peek through the fence.

"Hey, you said you'd step on my shoulder, why are you stepping on my head? If you damage my handsome face, can you afford to pay for it, Du Lei? Haven't you had enough? It's my turn!" Among the three furtive figures, the one in the middle was a tall, thin guy, about fifteen or sixteen years old, who kept complaining.

"What's all the noise about? Can't you keep it down? What if we get caught? Oh my, those thighs, that skin... city girls are something else. Damn this condensation, can't you disperse it a bit? I can barely see anything. Stop shaking it!" The guy at the top was watching with great interest.

He was about thirteen or fourteen years old. Perhaps because he was young and hadn't fully grown yet, he was only about 1.65 meters tall and looked very thin. He was peering through a gap in the fence, which was more than four meters high. In the hazy mist, his snow-white skin was faintly visible, indicating that someone was soaking in the hot spring.

"You try stepping on me and see if you can keep it from shaking, Du Lei. How many days has it been since you washed your feet? They smell so bad. And did you drool on my head? It's disgusting. Watch out, if you don't let me have my way, I'm leaving!" the boy in the middle protested.

As dusk fell, the three of them saw people arriving at the mountaintop inn to stay the night. Among them was a young woman of similar age to them, who was stunningly beautiful. They had been keeping watch outside the mountaintop hot springs since early morning, so persistent despite the freezing weather, just to get a glimpse of her. This was something they were quite adept at.

But after waiting for so long, the young woman finally took a bath, but only Du Lei was watching from above. He had good reason to do so: firstly, he was the youngest, and secondly, he was the lightest. That made sense, but he watched for a long time without giving up his spot, which was still a bit unfair.

"Du Lei, can we go back now? I'm hungry and want to eat roasted sweet potatoes. It's so cold outside." At the bottom of the human ladder was a chubby boy who was also about fifteen or sixteen years old. He was bulky and weighed at least two hundred pounds. His lips were blue and purple from the cold, and his body was covered with a thin layer of white snow.

"Alright, alright, almost there, don't worry, we're almost there! Hey, did you hear anything?" The boy named Du Lei's ears twitched slightly. He clearly heard a "click" sound, paused for a moment, and subconsciously asked his two companions.

"What sound? Don't give me that nonsense to stall for time. I won't fall for it." The tall, thin man with distinct facial features and a handsome appearance knew Du Lei's personality all too well. They had grown up together. Don't let Du Lei's young age and harmless appearance fool you; he was notoriously cunning in the village.

"Dure, did you hear my stomach growling too? The roasted sweet potatoes smell so good!" The fat guy on the bottom floor had no interest in peeping; for him, the greatest happiness was eating. However, he couldn't resist the invitation from his two companions, so he followed along.

"It wasn't a gurgling sound, but the sound of something breaking. I have a bad feeling about this. Oh no!" Du Lei thought carefully. As the youngest and most skilled hunter in the village, his senses were extraordinary. He realized something was wrong immediately and decided to retreat.

"Hmm, who is that?" Just as the three sneaky people were pressing down on the wooden fence that was forming a wall, and they cried out in surprise, the girl who was about to get out of the hot spring noticed something was wrong. She raised an eyebrow, grabbed her clothes from the edge of the pool and wrapped them around herself, and drew her sword in the process.

"Ouch, ouch, ouch, it hurts so much! I told Hart last time that the wooden fence around his bathhouse was rotten and needed to be replaced, but he didn't believe me. Now it's really fallen down. They say that if you don't listen to a wise person, you'll suffer the consequences. That's so true. Huh, there's a murderous aura!" Du Lei cried out, clutching his buttocks.

Just now, the two logs he was lying on, rotten from age, broke under the weight, causing him to fall. Luckily, he reacted quickly and avoided the sharp logs, otherwise, the consequences wouldn't have been as simple as just complaining of a sore bottom.

"Assassin! Kill him!" Just as Du Lei sensed the approaching danger, a slender, paper-thin longsword followed him like a shadow and slashed towards him. In Du Lei's view, the beautiful woman under the moon wrapped one hand in a thin shirt, her skin as white as snow, and held a longsword in the other hand, the blade of which seemed to defy frost. He was stunned for a moment.

"So beautiful, ptooey! This isn't the time to admire beauties. Wait, assassin, stop! I'm not an assassin. Are you mistaken?" Du Lei belatedly realized what was happening and, with his agile movements, instinctively shrank back. The gleaming blade almost grazed his nose.

He clearly saw a strand of hair slowly drift down. Before the sweat on his forehead could solidify, he immediately waved his hand in a ceasefire gesture, leaned back, and sat down on the ground with a thud, raising a few snowflakes. Only at this moment did his heart suddenly tremble, and he couldn't breathe.

"If you're not an assassin, then who are you, lurking around here like this?" The girl looked down at Du Lei with a haughty air. The blade in her hand was pressed against Du Lei's neck. If he made the slightest movement, she could easily draw a brilliant flower of blood from the tip of the blade.

"No sneaking around or anything like that. I'm a local, a hunter from the neighborhood... no, I'm a carpenter. I saw the wall was damaged and was going to repair it. That's the situation. My two assistants can explain it to me."

Du Lei considered himself a prominent figure in the hot spring village, possessing considerable courage and imposing presence. However, facing this young girl, he dared not even breathe loudly. He saw no shyness on her face; her golden pupils held only an icy indifference that chilled him to the bone.

"Assistant? What assistant? Are there any other people?" The girl immediately became alert. She hastily emerged from the water, her skin still wet with droplets that had not yet dried. Her long black hair was not yet tied up and was loose. Cherry blossoms from the tree fell onto her skin and then onto the blade.

"Hey Black Wind, Copper Mountain, where are they? This is so disloyal! We agreed to share the good times and the bad, and you two ran off faster than dogs! No way, if you're so heartless, I can't be unjust! They went to move some wood; they need fixing up, right?"

Dure turned back to look for his two companions, but behind him was nothing but broken planks and cold wind blowing in. There was no sign of anyone. Being as shrewd as he was, he naturally understood the principle of scattering in times of trouble. However, he still forced a smile and persevered, displaying remarkable mental fortitude.

"Is a carpenter the kind who repairs houses and makes furniture?" The plank over there is indeed broken. Well, I'll forgive you for now, but I'll just gouge out your eyes." The girl looked at the broken plank, nodded thoughtfully, and made her decision on how to deal with Durei in a calm tone.

"Oh dear, you're such a kind guest. There are so few guests like you who are so gentle, beautiful, and reasonable. Well then, I won't bother you any longer. What did you say? Gouge out my eyes?" Du Lei thought there was a chance when he heard the girl's tone soften a bit, so he immediately started flattering her.

But once he grasped the meaning behind the girl's words, he immediately raised his voice, for he realized she wasn't joking. The gleaming blade was already raised, poised to pierce his eyes; the gods were about to close those bright windows to his soul.

"Sweet talk? Cut your tongue off too!" The girl's eyes were sharp as a knife, and a cherry blossom falling onto the blade was instantly sliced ​​in two.

"Hey, let's be reasonable. Don't be so brutal. Besides, I'm praising you and stating the facts. How can you call it sweet talk? Oh, there's murderous intent again. Quickly pounce on him!" Du Lei shrank back and waved his hands repeatedly. He didn't want to become mute and blind at such a young age.

Just then, his ears twitched again. He initially thought the murderous aura was coming from the girl in front of him, but upon closer inspection, he realized it was different. With a quick thought, he stomped his left foot and used the force of his right shoulder to ram forward, knocking the girl to the ground.

"What are you doing, you idiot? You're asking for death!" The girl was caught off guard. In her eyes, Dure was short and thin and posed no threat to her at all. She was a little careless for a moment. By the time she came to her senses, she had lost her balance and fell into the snow.

"Shut up, you woman! They're coming!" Du Lei snapped at the girl. At that moment, he couldn't care less about anything else. At the same time, a huge creature leaped high into the air and crashed down on the spot where they had just been standing.

With a deafening roar, the ground trembled and snowflakes flew everywhere after the enormous object landed.

"This is..." The girl was clearly stunned for a moment, and she didn't care about the awkward position she and Du Lei were in. Her chest heaved violently.

"Are these the monsters that have been appearing frequently on the outskirts of the village lately? Damn it, how did they get into the village? But don't worry, I'm here. Hmm, what's this thing? It's soft and squishy. Did someone's rabbit escape?" Du Lei turned around and stared at these uninvited guests.

While marveling at the experience, he suddenly realized that the feel of the ball was unexpectedly good, and turned around in confusion.

"Where exactly are you touching, you bastard?" The girl's cheeks flushed red, her angry eyes fixed on the man in front of her, as if she wanted to devour him alive.

"Oh, not rabbit, but that... Oh, actually I'm not only a carpenter, but also a doctor. I just gave you a check-up. This feel, this elasticity, it's perfect. Looks like you're developing very well. No need to thank me, you can skip the check-up fee." Du Lei was stunned for a moment.

However, with his quick wit, he found an excuse in the shortest time and even gave the girl a thumbs up, praising her profusely.

"Unforgivable! Unforgivable! You shameless bastard, go to hell right now!" The girl, enraged and humiliated, drew her sword and slashed at him.

002 Women should hide in the back.

The booming sound from the mountaintop bathing area broke the tranquility of the night. Scattered lights appeared in the originally pitch-black village, accompanied by hurried footsteps. People carrying torches knocked on doors from house to house in the village streets, and the noise woke people up from their sleep.

"What's going on here? Why is it so noisy? Hans, shouldn't you be on guard at the village entrance? Why are you here?" A dark-skinned, strong middle-aged man pushed open the door and came out. He was Kluth, the village's blacksmith, and also the village's elected village guard captain.

"A monster has broken in! There are at least four of these huge monsters, and they're charging towards the Hart family's mountaintop bathhouse. I've never seen such big monsters before, Kru, what should we do?" The man named Hans's lips turned blue and purple, and he was trembling with fear.

"What? They've actually broken into the village! Didn't we set up roadblocks and traps before? No way! Before these monsters run rampant, quickly gather some men, grab your weapons, and come with me. We must catch them. Oh, and what about that scoundrel, Dure? Call him too." Kru immediately started getting dressed.

Realizing the seriousness of the situation, he grabbed a hammer from his house and called to the men who were gradually emerging from their homes. He then raised torches and headed towards the mountaintop bathhouse. According to Hans, the monsters that had invaded the village this time were larger than ever before.

This made many of the men tremble with fear. They were neither mercenaries nor warriors, but just ordinary people who relied on the mountains for their livelihood. However, in order to protect the village, they had no choice but to bite the bullet and head towards the mountaintop bathing area, because if the monsters were allowed to wreak havoc, their families would hardly be spared.

"What's the point of looking at the magical fluctuations coming from the mountaintop bath? It's just a low-level magical beast. They're really just a bunch of country bumpkins who've never seen anything like this before." From the second-floor window of the village inn, someone looked in the direction the villagers had left and scoffed.

The speaker was a little girl who looked to be only twelve or thirteen years old. Due to her age, she was not very tall and needed to stand on a small stool to lean on the window. She was wearing a black gothic dress with dark red trim, which gave off a dark and mysterious vibe. She had long pigtails.

She was originally quite delicate and cute, but her eyes reflected a pair of golden pupils, and a mocking smile appeared on her lips. In her eyes, the villagers who risked their lives to hunt down the monster in order to protect their families were nothing but ants, just like the torches in their hands.

A gentle breeze is enough to make it sway in the wind, and a stronger breeze can easily blow it out.

"This isn't an area where magical beasts roam. In the past, the villagers only dealt with wild animals at most. They would never have had the chance to see ferocious magical beasts. It's already quite impressive that we've managed to do this much. However, the fact that magical beasts have appeared here means that we've found the right place."

Beside the Gothic Lolita was a young man who looked to be around twenty years old. He was tall and slender, dressed in a black tailcoat, which made him look noble and elegant. His graceful aristocratic air would surely make countless girls flock to him. He calmly surveyed the view outside the window.

"Should we go check it out now? A lot of people have been showing up in this village lately, including some really interesting ones. They're probably here for that too, right? If we dawdle, someone else will beat us to it." The Gothic Lolita turned to ask her companion for her opinion.

At this moment, she keenly sensed that there were more than a dozen strong magical fluctuations coming from several nearby inns. These were clearly not emitted by magical beasts, but by competitors who had come to the village as travelers with the same purpose as them. These people were not to be underestimated.

“Don’t worry, although the barrier at the entrance has weakened significantly, it hasn’t completely disappeared. Before the barrier disappears, no one will dare to rush in. Let’s just wait for now. By the way, why are so many candies missing from the travel bag?” The tall young man shook his head, rejecting the suggestion.

Among the two of them, one big and one small, he was clearly the one with the most say. As he turned away and slowly turned around, he pointed to the travel bag on the table and asked the little gothic girl next to him about the whereabouts of the candy she had packed in the bag, which made the latter immediately nervous.

"Oh, this candy, I know, it must have been eaten by rats, that's right, there are so many rats in these remote places, they even go after my candy, it's so disgusting." The Gothic Lolita forced a smile, her movements awkward and unnatural.

"A mouse? In that case, to protect the candy, I'll put it away separately, and you can't eat it for the next week." After careful consideration, the man offered his solution to the candy. As an adult, he had no interest in candy; it was his companion's snack.

"What?! A week? Are you trying to murder me? No way!" Gothic Lolita immediately protested and rushed over to try and protect the candy.

“This is for your own good. If you keep eating like this, you’ll get cavities. No candy for a week, no questions asked.” The man was adamant. Before they set off, he had made a pact with his companion, strictly limiting her candy allowance, which she readily agreed to at the time.

"Three days, just three days, okay? Life isn't complete without candy, okay?" The Gothic Lolita started bargaining with him.

"Two weeks." The man wasn't buying it and extended the time she was forbidden from eating candy.

"Waaaaah, Night Raven, you're so mean! One week is one week, who wants candy anyway? You're just bullying me, bullying me!" The gothic little girl watched helplessly as the man named Night Raven put away the candy, then plopped down on the ground and burst into tears, wiping away her sobs.

"Alright, it's about time to go back to your room and sleep. Remember to drink a glass of milk before bed, it'll help you grow taller. Go on." Night Raven sent the tearful gothic little girl back to her room, then returned to the window, gazing at the moon in the sky, lost in thought.

"Tomorrow is the full moon, and the barrier is about to disappear. Although many people have caught a whiff of it and come here, none of them pose a threat. The only thing that's bothering me is that discordant feeling, and that black-haired, black-eyed boy."

Night Raven muttered to himself for a while, and the outline of a boy began to appear in his mind. It was when he first entered the village that the boy enthusiastically came over, helped him carry his bag and things, gave him a detailed introduction to the local customs and culture, and finally took him to this hotel, saying that it was a luxury hotel.

Upon closer inspection of the dark and damp room, it was clear that it was a makeshift guesthouse converted from an abandoned warehouse for temporary accommodations in the village. The gothic little girl was so enraged by the poor conditions that she nearly burned the boy to ashes. And the accommodation cost was more than twice as much as in the city!

"His name seems to be Dure. This is getting more and more interesting." Night Raven smiled knowingly, the moonlight as smooth as silk and as white as frost.

Meanwhile, at the mountaintop bathing beach not far away, along with the "boom" sound, came cries for help that pierced the night. A boy dressed in cloth clothes and wrapped in a leather apron was running wildly across the snow, followed by a girl with a sharp long knife in her hand and a murderous look on her face.

"Stop right there and let me cut off your head. That's the only way you can atone for your sins. Maybe that way you can die less painfully." The girl, wearing only a cherry blossom-colored tube top, ran barefoot across the snow, filled with hatred, relentlessly chasing after the boy.

If you observe carefully enough, you will find that wherever the blade of her knife cuts diagonally downwards, even if the blade is still more than ten centimeters away from the ground, the snow on the ground will disperse on its own, as if a sharp cut has been made.

"Ha, are you kidding me? You were about to kill me, and I stopped to let you hack at me? Even a wild boar in the mountains wouldn't be that stupid. And you, I already said it was an accident, an accident. Why are you so hung up on it? You're so petty. Otherwise, I'd let you touch me to even things out."

As the boy named Du Lei ran, he turned back to negotiate with the girl. He had been in the hot spring village for so many years and had seen all kinds of shrewish women, but this was the first time he had ever seen someone chasing him with a knife. This made him panic and he could only run for his life.

"Who are you calling a wild boar? Unforgivable, unforgivable! I'll let you bleed your sinful blood on the pure white snow to end your filthy life. Die!" The girl was fast. As she approached Dure, who was within her attack range, she was about to swing her knife.

But at that moment, the gorilla that had been chasing her leaped high into the air and slammed down heavily on her back. Clearly, these four gorillas weren't going to let their prey escape; their eyes were bloodshot, and their strength was astonishing. If she were hit, she would be utterly crushed.

"In my opinion, even the wild boars in the mountains in spring are more reasonable than you. I know I'm charming enough to make you chase me to this extent, but at least look behind you and get out of the way!" Du Lei stopped and rushed over as soon as he saw the girl about to be hit by the gorilla.

"They're just a few low-level magical beasts. You don't need to meddle. I can easily handle them. You just stand there and watch." Although the girl was filled with hatred for Du Lei, she also knew what was important and what was urgent. She immediately drew her blade and prepared to fight.

"Shut up, this isn't meddling. Women should just stay in the back, in a safe place. If we need women to draw their knives to solve problems when danger comes, where will I, as a man, put my face? So watch and see how I show my skills."

Du Lei interrupted the girl, using his speed to block her way. He pulled a dagger from his left boot to parry the attack of the demonized gorilla that pounced on him. This made the girl pause for a moment, and she subconsciously took two steps back.

She originally thought that the confident Du Lei could easily block the attack, but she didn't expect that before Du Lei could even utter the last word "power," he was sent flying the moment he made contact with the demonized gorilla, and was thrown more than ten meters away.

003 Don't be captivated by her heroic bearing.

The saying "cool for only three seconds" probably describes Du Lei's type. The girl who originally had some expectations for him watched helplessly as he was knocked away by the demonized gorilla, her eyes almost popping out of her head. He was practically risking his life to look cool; she had never seen anyone so desperate.

"I don't think you need to put your face anywhere. You don't have a face at all, okay? What was I thinking just now? How could I have any expectations of this kind of guy? I guess I have to take action myself." The girl took a step back, gripping her long sword and assuming an attack stance.

"Ouch, ouch, ouch! As expected of a monster of magical beast level, it is indeed different from those ordinary wild beasts in the mountains. It almost broke my ribs. Hehe, woman, are you underestimating me? Don't make judgments about others before the dust settles." Du Lei struggled to get up from the ground.

The instant the demonized gorilla sent him flying, he quickly adjusted his balance in mid-air, using his agility to deflect most of the force. When he landed, he landed on his back and slid backward for a distance, which prevented him from suffering too much damage from the attack.