The person who likes me is a yandere.

"Was our relationship before the amnesia much better than it is now?"

It wasn't as bad as it is now—I know she deliberately omitted that sentence.

"That's not true."

"…………."

"Our relationship was pretty much like this before summer vacation."

I avoided Tohka, and Tohka never came to criticize me.

Chapter Thirteen: Please Stop Running Away From Me

"Our relationship was pretty much like this before summer vacation."

I avoided Tohka, and Tohka never came to criticize me.

"To be honest, the thought of Tohka reminiscing about the past makes me feel really embarrassed."

"That's because you hate me, isn't it?"

"No, I never used to, and I still don't dislike you."

"Then why does Qianyu always ignore me?"

Ignoring it, so that's how she sees me. After thinking for a while, I spoke my true feelings with a mix of fear and unease.

"That's because Tohka is scary..."

"horrible?"

"Hmm, are you angry? Are you angry? I didn't mean anything by it, really!"

"I'm not angry."

"Really? Really?"

"Yes, but was my personality really that terrible before I lost my memory?"

"Hmm, very much so~" In fact, it's just as good now as I thought—of course, I could only think that to myself.

Unlike me, who nodded in response, she remained motionless, as if frozen in place.

"Tohka has always been such a serious person, so someone like me who is perfunctory, weak-willed, and indecisive worries about being criticized after spending a little time with her—that's the truth."

"I won't criticize or blame others without reason, at least not now."

“I think so too, but I’m living a life where I can’t refute what people say when they criticize me.”

I would feign illness to be late, absent, or leave early; in severe cases, I would even skip physically demanding subjects like sports. In fact, I was severely reprimanded by her once for this during my first year of high school. That was about a year ago. After becoming a high school student, on an unexpected summer day after school, that was the first time I spoke to her. I received a one-hour lecture. Because the scene was so intense, from then on, I only skipped class when I absolutely had no other choice.

"Well, so it's not because I hate you that I'm avoiding you. It's just that I don't know how to interact with you properly, and also, I'm too ashamed to face you."

Because you went through something like that, you must— The words that flashed through my mind were too terrifying to utter. So I chose silence. I am a con artist.

"...This is really hard to let go of. It feels like I've just been played for a fool because of your reckless behavior."

"Yes, that's definitely related to me. I'm sorry."

I bowed my head and apologized honestly. At the same time, I could almost hear her stop breathing for a moment, overwhelmed with surprise. Tohka hesitated for a moment before speaking.

"You've been reflecting on your actions, haven't you?"

"Ah—, um!"

Why does the answer sound so uncertain?

"Because even if people reflect on their actions, they will still make the same mistakes."

"Does this mean that Mine-kun will continue to avoid me starting tomorrow?"

"That depends on my mood tomorrow..."

Although we're having a smooth conversation right now, it's because my body and head are still hot from the intense exercise. I'll definitely regret talking to her about that kind of thing when I wake up. For a coward, regretting things afterward is just a daily occurrence.

Please don't do this.

"Ok?"

Please stop avoiding me.

After hearing that, I finally raised my head and started observing her expression again. To put it simply, her ears were red, and she had an expression that made anyone staring at her feel shy.

"Qianyu might be surprised... Even for me, if I were always treated like that, well, it would hurt a lot."

"…………oh."

"I did go too far in some areas, so let's just wipe the slate clean, okay?"

"……Oh."

Wow, what's going on? This atmosphere is so embarrassing!

Tohka's bright red face seemed to have infected me, and I felt dizzy!

Are you listening?

"Yes, yes, I'm listening, I'm listening very attentively!"

"Is this okay?"

"Hmm, hmm. If this will make you forgive me."

"I see."

"She definitely wouldn't have spoken like this before she lost her memory," Tohka said, feeling a sense of peace and reassurance.

"Very good.".

—I used to think that even if Tohka lost her memory, nothing would change.

Actually, I might be wrong.

Chapter Fourteen: What a disgrace!

After saying goodbye to her with that light, indescribable, ambiguous feeling, something unexpected happened.

My bicycle, which should have been left at the bus stop, has mysteriously disappeared. Was it stolen while I was away, or was it towed away by the police as an abandoned vehicle? Whatever the reason, my luck is terrible.

"Eh!—" That's the feeling.

Therefore, the next day, with my only means of transportation—my bicycle—stolen, I had no choice but to take the bus to school, which I wasn't quite used to.

As it happened, it was rush hour, and the bus was packed with people. Unable to move, I was forced to inhale the smells of perfume and hairspray wafting from who-knows-where, which really awed my mood.

"Eh!—" That feeling +1.

Next, although Sakura-san told me yesterday not to avoid her anymore, I can't just start actively talking to her right away. Other classmates would think that's too fake.

This requires careful planning. Start a conversation in a friendly manner without seeming suspicious to elevate their impression of you. The first greeting is crucial—thinking this through, I didn't head towards the classroom, but instead went to the infirmary.

"Hey—" You won't feel that way anymore, I did it on purpose.

"Oh, Qianyu-kun, you're here again?"

The health care teacher greeted me with her usual surprised expression.

"You're really bold to skip the morning meeting."

"I thought you must feel lonely in the morning, so I came to keep you company."

"No, that's not necessary!"

Even after the teacher said that, I had no intention of going back to the classroom.

Looking back calmly, yesterday's events allowed me to successfully repair my relationship with Sakura-san, which was on the verge of collapse. Well done! ... I definitely won't have thoughts like that. The only regret I'll feel is—I did something I shouldn't have done again! Something like that.

If you think about it carefully, you'll realize that it's obviously impossible for me to have an equal conversation with Tohka.

Yesterday, Tohka said she felt hurt if I avoided her. But being expected too much of a thing is terrifying. It's similar to feelings of dislike, but the actual experience is completely different.

I don't know what to say, and I have no idea what kind of person the other person is.

Simply put, I'm under immense pressure. I might anger her again. It's more relaxing to keep her disappointed than to disappoint her again, isn't it? Therefore, today I used a little cleverness and chose "going to the infirmary" instead of "going to school."

"You've been coming here more often lately, has something happened? Can't you talk to your sister about it?"

"Auntie... she's very kind."

As they were talking, the health teacher, who claimed to be over thirty years old but still very young (like an older sister), grabbed her cheek.

"Qianyu-kun, you always say things that make people uncomfortable~"

"Um, teacher, isn't it unpleasant that you always resort to physical force?"

Although it didn't hurt much, I still pretended to be in a lot of pain. I actually kind of like the school nurse who always jokes around with me no matter what, who knows?

"Sister, I'm worried about your future."

"The topic changes so quickly."

Then the teacher continued speaking in a very natural older sister tone.

"Because, looking at how you are now, it's hard to imagine that you'll ever be wearing a suit and working properly."

"ah-."

"Do you have any ideals or anything like that?"

"Buy a lottery ticket, and then win the top prize—enough to last a lifetime."

"No, that's just desire, okay?"

really…….

"Besides, haven't you thought about what will happen when you become an adult someday?"

Wow, this is such a dark topic! Are you Peter Pan?!

Judging that it was almost the end of the morning meeting, I crawled into bed in the infirmary. Through the drawn curtain, I could only hear the faint sounds of the teacher working.

I buried my head in the blanket and suddenly recalled my conversation with Tohka yesterday.

...Is it really okay to be like this? I promised myself I wouldn't run away from her anymore, and I finally got her forgiveness after so much effort. Why do I always only think about myself? I know I feel down when people avoid me, but I still do things that seem so normal. I'm such an annoying person. And I even have a vague feeling that I'm trying to comfort my meager conscience by blaming myself like this, which makes me hate myself even more.