Crossover anime, starting with Hachiman Hikigaya replacing Subaru Natsuki!

187. Satella's Love, Hachiman Hikigaya's Response

"If you truly want me to respect, love, and protect myself, then—give me far more help! Let me stop seeing Emilia die! Let me live a good life with Rem! Let my opponents, my enemies, be respectable and friendly figures like Crusch and Anastasia, not ruthless, murderous archbishops of the Witch Cult—do you even understand what I need? If I want peace, at least those I care about, they need to be healthy!!"

"Shameless...yes, shameless."

"Having already obtained the power of returning from death, which is close to omniscience and omnipotence, yet still demanding more, asking for more, and never being satisfied, how can there be such a shameless person in the world? What a fool, completely worthless in life, just die already."

"But... but... he said it anyway. Even with that self-awareness, he still said it."

"To a woman who loves him, a woman who cannot have him, a pitiful woman in unrequited love, he coldly uttered these shameless words... It wasn't unrequited love, there was a kind of love that shook the depths of his soul... But it was unrequited love, it could only be unrequited love, it had to be unrequited love."

"But she didn't get the response she wanted. There were no new gifts, no promises to protect Emilia, just the same old words repeated over and over again, Satella, her eyes were only on him—she just loved him, so she only cared about him."

"Why...didn't you notice? Why...turn a blind eye? Why...deliberately cover it up? Why...force yourself to act tough? Why...sacrifice yourself?" Satella spoke with heartfelt emotion, seeing through Hachiman Hikigaya's false mask to the truth. "Why forget your pursuits, your ideals, your self, your true self, your dreams...why give up? Why abandon? Why discard? Why...cut yourself to pieces?"

"Her voice had an ethereal beauty, but when it reached Hachiman Hikigaya's ears, it was sharper and more piercing than any insult, mockery, or curse. It disrupted his breathing and heartbeat, and the pain was so intense that he was almost as painfully lucid as someone on their deathbed being devoured by a rabbit."

""No…""

"Don't treat yourself like that, you are the most important—discover it. Your pain, your sadness, your repression..."

""No…""

"Don't deceive yourself, don't hide from yourself, don't hurt yourself. You are the most important person—your body, your life, your soul, the most important thing you've lost."

""No…""

"What Echidna struggled to do, causing Hachiman Hikigaya to completely lose his composure, was forced out at this moment by Satella's sincere words of concern and request."

“I said, that’s enough. I said, I won’t do that. I said, you can stop now, Satella!!”

Hachiman Hikigaya took a deep breath, still feeling unbalanced. "I cherish myself, I always have! I respect myself, I always have! I love myself, I always have! If I hadn't protected myself, how could I still be so normal? —But I'm definitely not the most important person, I'm not!"

"There are people more important than me, that was true before, it is true now, and it will be true in the future! If it's for someone who deserves it, I don't care what I do. This is just my self-righteous sentimentality that I'm imposing on them, but so what? I just want to do this, I'm very clear-headed! I know what I'm doing, I know my heart and my actions! So there's absolutely no need for you to interfere or comment on my lifestyle!"

"My physical and mental condition is terrible! I'm in a very bad state! I know I'm like walking on the edge of a cliff, and it wouldn't be surprising if I fell at any moment! But I don't despise this world! I don't despise anyone! I don't despise any life! I'm using my wisdom, my reason, my care, and my meager strength to try! Every death is unavoidable; before that, I've done my best and never even considered the idea that 'returning from death is an insurance policy, so it's okay'! So I am still me! Hachiman Hikigaya is still Hachiman Hikigaya! That's enough! That's enough! What more do you want from me? I'm telling you, I can't do it, and I absolutely will not do as you ask!!"

"As for me putting myself first in my heart, I swear on my sister Komachi's name right now, I never have, never will! If I ever think like that, then I'm not myself, and I wouldn't deserve to be called Hachiman Hikigaya! This way of living is my own decision! It's the only thing I'm truly satisfied with so far! I have no resentment, and I don't feel like anyone owes me anything because of it. I don't feel any self-satisfaction from saving others, but I'm going to do it this way! So I won't change—even if it means trampling on myself, even if it means losing my true self, even if it means being unworthy to approach Emilia and Rem—that's enough, Satella!!"

"..."

Seemingly intimidated by him, Satella even stopped her murmur for a moment, looking at the panting Hachiman Hikigaya with a blank, resentful, and heartbroken expression.

"Stubborn! Unyielding! Hurting himself! I'm absolutely furious!!"

"The Wrathful Witch Minerva stomped her foot on the ground, causing an earthquake. The other witches remained quiet with varying expressions. The Slothful Witch Sekhmet, who was yawning lazily, had a ripple in her eyes. She changed her usual energy-saving expression and carefully examined Hachiman Hikigaya."

""don't want……""

After a moment of silence, Satella was about to speak again when Hachiman Hikigaya abruptly interrupted her, "I want it!"

"They stared at each other in silence. Satella and Hachiman Hikigaya looked directly at each other. In Satella's eyes, Hachiman Hikigaya saw the same stubbornness and obstinacy as himself."

"But you appeared, you asked... so I will do it." He clenched his fist. "Not to repay you for giving me the power of returning from death, but because you truly reminded me... I'm about to break."

"I'm going. I'm going to find Emilia, to confide in her, to tell her, to beg, to ask, to demand..."

"I will do it."

""so…""

"Give up, Satella."

188. Satella's Love, Hachiman Hikigaya's Response (Part 2)

"Furious! Enraged! Outraged! Indignant, furious, and enraged!"

"The earth shook violently," Minerva said, her face contorted with displeasure. She pointed a finger at Hachiman Hikigaya. "What's that all about? Being proud and complacent, saving people who were supposed to die—it's only natural that you'd feel self-satisfaction and a sense of superiority! Of course, I'm not advocating for that! But what about your deliberate humility, your self-deprecation, your attempts to disrupt things? You were also—"

"You're hurting yourself, aren't you?"

"Hachiman Hikigaya picked up where she left off. He looked around and saw that not only Minerva, but also Camilla and Sekhmet showed some agreement with Minerva's point of view."

"Echidna smiled, "You were originally a rational monster, but in order to suppress your pride and complacency, you've put far too much rationality into that area. The result is that you're now in a state where, after my trials, Satella's questioning, and being forced by us to reveal your true feelings and nature, your emotions are fluctuating wildly, and you've dragged yourself down."

"So what?"

Echidna beckoned to him, “So, why pretend to be strong? Come on, completely let down your guard, let me see and experience it firsthand, not just from your memories. After all, you're almost at your limit, aren't you?”

"Yes, that's right, I am indeed nearing my limit, but, Echidna." Taking in all the witches' reactions, Hachiman Hikigaya took another deep breath, even if it was just a soul, this action represented his attitude, "I think I've made myself very clear—"

"Whether I'm riddled with holes, on the verge of collapse, or whatever, it has never been anything to you—in other words..."

"As long as I'm here, as long as I'm surrounded by you, no matter how close I am to my limit, I will always be close to my limit, understand? My breakdowns, my outpourings, my attempts to make myself feel better... these things will happen, but they will never happen in front of you!"

"If you want to see it, go ahead and dream about it. If you want to see it, then I'll make sure you don't see it, understand? Echidna, you bastard!"

"This is truly extraordinary stubbornness." Echidna pondered for a moment. "So, what would happen if we went through 'the current trial' a hundred more times?"

"If you can do it, then go ahead and try," Hachiman Hikigaya scoffed. "Although I can tell that this Satella isn't a fully conscious witch; she can't even answer my questions. But if you insist on toying with me to that extent, I might try to alleviate the pain through self-harm. Then she and Minerva will definitely make their move."

"Or perhaps they won't make a move... Well then, let me show you how long this man named Hachiman Hikigaya can hold out before reaching his limit!"

"what…"

Emilia recited softly, but she had no thoughts at the moment, because she simply didn't have the time. Her mind was completely occupied by thinking about the meaning of Hachiman Hikigaya's words and looking at his face.

No rating available.

No one could comment on Hachiman Hikigaya's unexpectedly stubbornness at this moment.

Even in the convenience store, Hachiman Hikigaya himself finds it difficult to assess the situation. Having not yet encountered such a situation, he struggles to imagine how he would handle it.

However, the answer has already been revealed.

That answer... symbolizes that even though he abandoned his own self, his own true self, he ultimately did not completely fall into depravity... because Hachiman Hikigaya is closely connected with Emilia, Rem, and them.

You can discard your own things. But you must leave something behind.

Perhaps Emilia seems like a burden, a huge hindrance, and the trigger for many troubles, but ah, but... it is precisely because of her existence that no matter what level we reach, no matter what desperate situation we face, no matter how much of ourselves we have to sacrifice.

As long as she's there, as long as she's still there, as long as I'm not in front of her, then in reality—

Hachiman Hikigaya will always be on the verge of his limit, but that limit will never be reached!

"Even now that you've lost Rem, is your obsession still so stubborn?... Me."

Hachiman Hikigaya was in utter turmoil.

"..."

"Satella was like a player who had disconnected from an online game. Hachiman Hikigaya's attitude was too firm and too resistant. For a moment, she stood quietly, falling into an eerie silence."

Hachiman Hikigaya glanced at her, then turned to Echidna. Taking advantage of this moment of peace, he needed to deal with another matter first: "Echidna, don't try to change the subject. As agreed, answer those three questions."

"Yes, of course, we made a promise."

"Echidna maintained her smile serenely. 'So, the first answer—the answer is, I don't know. That's Satella's power; if you want to know the nature of the Return of Death, you can only ask her yourself. But even though she's here now, in her current state, I suppose she's incapable of answering you.'"

"Don't know? That kind of answer..." Hachiman Hikigaya frowned.

"So, you can ask me a fourth question on a special offer." Echidna winked at him. "And the second question, well... the answer is also 'I don't know.' But, you can't get away with this one."

""you mean…""

“Yes, that’s exactly what you mean.” Echidna nodded. “Letting that child wait for ‘that person’ is a research topic—who will she choose as her ‘that person’? That unknown is very interesting. Of course, waiting for four hundred years without choosing anyone is also a very interesting possibility.”

"Echidna, who gave Betty orders, didn't know who 'that person' was either, because who 'that person' was ultimately up to Betty herself."

"But Betty believes that she is the one who chooses 'that person'... This is not a misunderstanding, but an error deliberately created by Echidna. She wants to see who Betty will choose, and at the same time, she wants to see how long Betty's affection for her as her mother will last, thereby dispelling the unknown fog about the possibility of kinship."

Hachiman Hikigaya glanced coldly at Minerva to the side. To be honest, he really felt that he should inherit the Minerva name now.

"Although I had already guessed it... the person I hate the most right now is you, Echidna!"

189. IF line - beginning

"Oh my, look, the truth has been revealed. How do you feel now, Beatrice?"

"Well…"

When Roswaal asked her this, Betty stroked her thin chest, which matched her appearance, and murmured to herself, "How strange..."

"strangeness?"

“Yes, it’s strange.” Betty looked up at the amused Echidna, her eyes sharp and her expression somewhat frightening. “Betty isn’t sad at all, no… a little. But once she accepted that it wasn’t her mother, almost all that remained was anger. Anger for it, anger for Hachiman, a shared hatred for Echidna…”

Roswaal chuckled, clapped his hands, and praised, "That's not surprising at all, Beatrice. If you ask why, well, you've found a replacement now, a substitute for your teacher."

"You said it's a substitute..."

Betty glared fiercely at Roswaal, but since she herself couldn't quite figure out what she was thinking, she found it hard to refute him. All she could say was, "How could Hachiman be just a substitute for Betty?"

Roswaal shook his head and said nothing more. He was relieved to know that Betty wasn't discouraged.

Four hundred years of friendship... After realizing that his goal did not exist at all, he relaxed and suddenly realized that his indifference, his inaction, his concealment and selfishness were also one of the main reasons that led to Betty's near mental death.

"So... Hachiman Hikigaya, before you arrive, I will fulfill the duty I should have fulfilled, which is already four hundred years late."

He murmured softly.

"As for the third question, you've probably figured it out, it's because she's angry."

"Echidna sighed, feigning pity for Satella, every word dripping with sarcasm: 'It was a death resurrection granted to her by the one she loved, yet a heartless man uses it as a tool to save his other mistresses. It's only natural she's angry. Oh, how pitiful.'"

"However, the next second, her joyful expression turned to gloom."

"Is that so? At least I still feel grateful to her. You, a woman I not only refused to sign a contract with, but also despise, have no right to pity her."

"Hachiman Hikigaya always manages to pinpoint what she cares about and deliver the most fatal blow to her."

"However, even though she was in a bad mood, she still had to answer Hachiman Hikigaya's fourth question, which was her own fault."

"Echidna, you poor woman, my pity for you temporarily outweighs my wrath, witch. Answer me, is there any way to help Emilia pass the trial in a short time, truly pass it?"

"Tch..." Echidna's anger fluctuated slightly. "I don't know... though I'd like to say that, for a half-elf whose past memories are sealed by the contract to face the trial, the first thing is to restore her memories."

"Really? Then I—"

Hachiman Hikigaya suddenly swayed, a wave of nausea washing over him. Before he could even figure out why, Camilla timidly offered her explanation: "It's...it's because you stared at the witch for too long. Even though you have Satie's favor, you've faced too many this time. Seven people is too much to handle. If...if you had killed Romanée-Conti and absorbed his witch genes, then...it wouldn't have mattered."

"Yes, um... I see." Hachiman Hikigaya shook his head, struggling, but the splitting headache combined with a feverish, nauseous feeling wouldn't go away. He resisted the urge to let his self-preservation instincts control him and leave the tea party so quickly. "I... I have something else to tell you, Satella!"