Lonely Rock for the Blind.

Page 635

"... "

You can't always make decisions for other people.

Nekoyashiki Haru said, squinting her eyes.

“...I don’t do this to other people, and I know it’s wrong.”

Iwashita Shima sighed.

"...But this time, it's really different..."

“You can tell me.”

Nekoyashiki Haru's tone was slightly hurried.

"Shima!"

"... "

Iwashita Shima raised her head, looked at the boy in front of her, and opened her mouth.

"...Qing, what kind of person am I in your eyes?"

"…What?"

"What kind of person was I during the time we spent together?"

"... "

"Reliable? A busybody? Likes to complain? Cleans up messes?"

Iwashita Shima gasped.

"What kind of existence am I to the band, to you?"

"... "

Nekoyashiki Haru remained silent.

"...To be honest, I really couldn't believe it when I found out about you and them."

Iwashita Shima paused for a moment.

“You shouldn’t be that kind of person… Just like I would make decisions for others, I would project the version of you that I have onto you.”

Iwashita Shima scratched his head.

"Heh...that's just the kind of guy I am...In my eyes, you're sensible, reliable, gentle, and vulnerable...but you're not entirely like that, are you?"

"...Shima, we're talking about Eliza."

Nekoyashiki Haru interrupted softly, wanting to stop this so-called "self-analysis".

"Is Eliza more important than me in your eyes?"

Shima Iwashita said.

"...You know that's not what I meant."

"Of course I know that's not what you meant. Just think of it as me being coquettish. Listen to me."

Shima Iwashita smiled.

"I really don't know any of you."

Why do you think that?

"It's precisely because I don't understand you that I can't believe the choices you've made. In the end, perhaps all I've ever seen is myself and the image of you in my mind."

"That's just how people are..."

Nekoyashiki Haru said.

"But I'm the worst kind."

Iwashita Shima laughed at himself.

“Yuyuko said that I am the band’s ‘mother’… but actually, no one needs this ‘mother’.”

Iwashita Shima lowered her head once again.

"I've always been thinking of my own good, meddling in everything. To be honest, it's quite annoying, isn't it?"

"I don't dislike the feeling of being controlled by you..."

Nekoyashiki Haru suddenly stopped speaking.

"...It's good that you didn't continue to lie to me."

Shima Iwashita smiled.

"When I advised you to give them up, you were actually quite unhappy, weren't you?"

Nekoyashiki Haru fell silent.

"...I cannot deny it."

"Yes... you're all willing to let me meddle in your affairs, willing to let me nag you, it's all because you're taking care of me..."

Iwashita Shima's smile widened even further.

"...I still really like you guys."

"Then tell me where Eliza is, Shima, I'll go and bring her back so we can all be together again."

Nekoyashiki Haru said softly.

"...No, no, that won't do."

Iwashita Shima lowered his head.

"Although I just said a lot of self-reflection, I'm sorry... I still have to deal with this matter. I won't let you see her until she leaves."

"why?"

Nekoyashiki Haru frowned, puzzled.

"Hey... Qing, let's stop here and just wait for time to wash away the past."

"...What exactly did Eliza do?!"

Nekoyashiki Haru stood up.

"...I won't tell you, even if you force me."

Iwashita Shima showed a proud expression.

"Now... I suddenly have a feeling that I've won a little."

"Does Shima not want Eliza to come back?"

"I did want to, but now I don't."

Iwashita Shima shook his head.

Let's just stay away from each other like this.

"...Are you making decisions for me again?"

"I said I would still take charge of this matter."

Iwashita Shima stood up and held onto Nekoyashiki Haru's forearm.

"I apologize for being a little harsh with you just now. I apologize for what I said that was meant to provoke you... And, just stay with me until she leaves. There are many rooms here, may I borrow one?"

"…Can…"

"Thank you... Qing."

Iwashita Shima nodded, then helped Nekoyashiki Haru into the house.

"...Qing, it must have been so hard for you to not see me for so many years, right?"

"I'm already recovering."

“I know, but the pain I felt before is still pain… It’s impossible to be indifferent to everything just because I’m fine now.”

"Qing's original hobbies and dreams were all shattered, weren't they?"

"... "

"So... Qing, just this once, please listen to me."

Iwashita Shima released her hand, and Nekoyashiki Haru sat down on the sofa.

"Let me do it..."

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