Lonely Rock for the Blind.

When?

Was it when he saw me? Or when I saw him?

Was it when I finally mustered the courage to call out to him? Or when I met him with the flowers?

Or perhaps I've never known him or understood him at all.

"Miss Eliza, don't you remember?"

Ichi Nijika smiled helplessly.

"That's true. If it's something from a long time ago, there's nothing you can do about forgetting it."

"...This is very important..."

Eliza retorted softly.

"Hmm? Ah... that's not wrong."

Ichi Nijika paused for a moment, then nodded.

"But you know, it's definitely more important to remember emotions than these things."

"...If I forget..."

Eliza's voice trembled.

Even if you forget, he's still here.

Ichi Hoshika blinked.

"Remembering is of course the best, but forgetting is also okay. No one can remember forever, otherwise there wouldn't be so many ways to preserve memories. Just create more new memories. The future is always bigger than the past."

"...You're so optimistic..."

"Or should we live a pessimistic life? Wouldn't that mean we'd lose even the little happiness we have left?"

Ichiji Hoshika shook her head.

"If you stop and do nothing because you know you will never be happy or have a good life, whether it is right or wrong, and just pessimistically accept everything, you will definitely feel very powerless."

"!"

Eliza's pupils contracted slightly.

"There are some things that, if you don't do them sooner, you'll never have the chance to do them again, and you'll regret it."

Ichi Seika pursed her lips.

"...I know it better than anyone else."

"Is there anything Miss Eliza would like to do?"

"Ichi Niji Natsumi asked."

"…I…"

Eliza's pupils contracted.

What is it that I want to do...?

run away?

Is that what I want to do?

No...not just...

Whether it was calling Qing hoping she would find him, or the regret and confusion that followed.

I guess I didn't just want to run away, did I?

From the beginning until now, you've done nothing! You've just watched him! Watched him walk away! If you regret it! Forget about whether he deserves you or not! Go do something!

What should I do?

No matter how you feel... these are things you have to do...

What can I do... to make me...

How can I feel at ease?

What I want...

"...Maybe I...want to forgive?"

Eliza spoke, her voice trembling.

Almost the instant those words left my lips, an overwhelming sense of self-loathing surged from my heart.

Like a deadly poison, it spread to every part of the body.

Eliza felt her heart being violently constricted, as if it were about to be strangled by a rope.

So disgusting...so disgusting...

After doing something like that... how can you still hope for forgiveness?

In front of the two of them... in front of the two women he has always longed for, would you really say such disgusting things?

Why do I still want to stay...?

"Has Miss Eliza done anything to offend anyone?"

"Ichi Niji Natsumi asked."

"Ah... I did it..."

"Isn't it something that can't be forgiven so easily?"

Ichi Hoshika continued to ask.

"Unforgivable...absolutely unforgivable..."

Is it... something that can't be undone?

"Ichiyo Nishiki asked softly."

"...It's been too long...Even if it recovers, it can no longer be considered a remedy..."

Eliza's voice was hoarse.

"Want to forgive? That's just... wishful thinking... selfishness..."

My body felt incredibly heavy at that moment.

"That depends on what you do, right?"

"Ichi Seika said with a frown."

"Forgiving is his business, but all you can do is apologize, right? Aren't you going to do that?"

"He can't do it... He said... he's disappointed in me..."

"...That means there was some expectation, doesn't it?"

"Ichi Nijika tilted her head and said."

He must have always believed in you…

"But...I ran away...I was going to escape from here..."

"They haven't escaped yet, have they?"

Ichiko looked at Eliza.

"If your goal is to be forgiven, then don't run away."

"It is very painful to go against what you desire."

Ichi Nijika sat up.

"...I'm scared..."

Eliza slowly curled up.

"afraid of what?"

"Ichiko asked."

"I'm afraid of not being forgiven, I'm afraid of being treated like an enemy... I didn't run away because I was satisfied with seeing happiness; I'm just afraid..."

Eliza spoke with her eyes closed, seemingly oblivious to everything else.

"If you run away because you're afraid of not being forgiven, if you run away because you're afraid of being hated, you'll only ever stay in the same place..."

Ichi Nijika sighed.

"What if he doesn't forgive me?"

Eliza's eyes showed despair.

"Even if there's only a one in ten thousand chance, we should still do it, right?"

Ichi Seika frowned.

"Yes, just like Miss Eliza said, he was disappointed in you, but that means he must have had expectations of you and believed in you. So, why don't you try to have the same trust in him?"

Ichi Nijika's voice was extremely gentle.

"...Wait a minute...If I get rejected, everything will be over..."

Eliza trembled.

"Ignoring it, closing your eyes, might actually make things easier?"

"Ichi Nijika said."

"If it's just for oneself, then doing this is understandable."

Ichi Hoshika sighed.

"!"

That's why I say, from beginning to end, the only person you've ever loved is yourself!

Ahh…

Shima... how come you didn't say a single wrong word?