Konoha Drunkard

"Remember to humbly accept instruction next time, and don't talk back!" Shanks blew on Blackfinger.

"Damn it!" Little Scorpion was already rubbing the newly formed bump on his forehead. "You just wait, I'll kill you in twenty years!"

253. Danzo's advisor is back.

"Goodbye, little scorpion, don't miss me too much!" Six months later, Shanks waved to the little scorpion next to Grandma Chiyo at the entrance of Sunagakure, holding the other half of the gold sand.

"..." The little scorpion stared at him fiercely without saying a word, her eyes bloodshot, as if she wanted to cry.

That bastard's finally gone! God knows how I survived the past six months. Every day, the old bumps on my head hadn't even gone away before new ones started growing. If I could break through that bastard's defenses, I would have already burned him to a crisp and used him as a puppet.

"Aunt Chiyo, you see? Sometimes loving education can be expressed through spanking. Look at how reluctant little Scorpion is, he's almost in tears. It's a pity I'm too busy!" Shanks said shamelessly to Grandma Chiyo.

"..." The little scorpion really wanted to sew his mouth shut. Were those tears of reluctance? They were clearly tears of happiness.

"You've had a tough six months. When you return to Konoha, remember to give my regards to White Fang. Sasori will be going to see him soon," Grandma Chiyo said to Shanks, looking at her grandson.

"No problem, when Little Scorpion comes, I'll treat him to a whole dragon from Konoha. Who knows, maybe even a little Scorpion will show up!" Shanks laughed loudly. Just how deep is this love? This is about your grandson, and you're dragging Sakumo into it...

Moreover, it's unknown whether he'll come to Konoha to find Sakumo next year, but he'll definitely be looking for Salai. In the past six months, Shanks has discovered that Sasori's hatred for Salai is significantly greater than that for Sakumo. After all, Salai insisted on waging war against Konoha for the resources of the Daimyo of the Land of Wind... which led to his parents leading a team to support him.

"May Lord Shanks rest in peace!" Only Chiyo's family came to see Shanks off this time. Salai couldn't wait for this good-for-nothing to leave! Why would he come out to see him off?

Shanks was too lazy to bother with a short-lived guy. In the past six months, Scorpion had been sneaking up on elites too many times. If he really wanted to sneak up on Salvation, Salvation probably wouldn't be able to defend against it.

"Goodbye!" Shanks said, then closed his eyes.

←↓→↑←↓→↓→!

Grandma Chiyo and the others watched Shanks say goodbye and then close his eyes without leaving, and they were puzzled. Did he not have enough money?

"Damn it..." Little Scorpion wanted to ask him why he hadn't left yet, but before he could finish speaking, Shanks' figure disappeared.

"..." A crow flew overhead.

"Was that a blur or an afterimage?" Little Scorpion asked Grandma Chiyo.

"No! That's his space-time ninjutsu, the Second Hokage's Flying Thunder God Technique, he just didn't master it properly," Grandma Chiyo said with a smile.

"Hehe, it's said that this ninjutsu requires a high level of spatial talent, but this Konoha Shanks doesn't seem to have that. So he can only use it for traveling," Uncle Haizang said.

"Space-time ninjutsu! In all those years, only Tobirama Senju was able to develop it. It's said that there's a boy in Konoha who also learned it, but I wonder if that's true," Grandma Chiyo exclaimed.

“Although our spies haven’t seen that boy, it’s said to be an open secret in Konoha, so I think it’s probably true,” Uncle Haizo said.

"Ah! Konoha is truly a cradle of geniuses. From the first World War, Konoha had the two-colored red hair and the White Fang. Then came the Three Legendary Sannin of the second World War, and now they've produced a boy who can use the Flying Thunder God Technique!" Grandma Chiyo sighed. Thankfully, this generation of Sunagakure also had Rasa and her grandson, otherwise she really wanted to go to Konoha and adopt a child...

"I didn't expect that bastard to know space-time ninjutsu!" Little Scorpion said, watching Shanks' disappearing figure.

"Hehe, his space-time ninjutsu doesn't count. It can only be used to carry people around. It can't be used for combat like the Second Hokage. But his greatest strengths are his swordsmanship and his reputation. It's said that during the Second Shinobi World War, Onoki wanted to negotiate peace with Konoha because he gave him face." Uncle Kaizo shared some common knowledge about the ninja world with his otaku nephew.

"Face??? What the hell?" Little Scorpion was dumbfounded. Did people in the ninja world have face that much value?

Thinking back to that bastard, besides his imposing aura and ability to inflict physical damage, what impressed me most was his toughness. Both weapons on his puppet were chipped, both from cutting that bastard. But... what happened to his pride?

“Currently, only the Iwa ninjas know what happened, but they all refuse to talk about it, so our spies can't find out the inside story. However... it's very likely that Onoki was tricked by him back then, and it was a really bad thing,” Grandma Chiyo said.

"..." After hearing what Grandma Chiyo said, the two nodded in agreement with her guess.

.........

When Shanks appeared in the Hokage's office, he found that all four of Konoha's top leaders were inside. Danzo had somehow managed to appease his three former allies over the past six months, and now he had made a comeback and returned to his position as an advisor to Konoha. It could be said that Danzo was quite formidable in the workplace, having risen and fallen in just a few years.

"So? How is the talent of the Sand Village's super genius?" Hiruzen Sarutobi, already used to his entrance, calmly asked.

"Not bad, especially his talent in puppetry, which is stronger than Aunt Chiyo's. However, he has serious psychological problems. Even I, a clinical psychologist from Konoha, couldn't do anything about him in half a year. Sakumo hurt him too deeply," Shanks said.

这半年本来他还打算让小蝎子放弃那种改造身体的想法，不过他好像弄巧成拙了，小蝎子被他揍得越多，改造身体的想法就出现的越多，根本制止不了，让他明白了爱的教育跟岸本大帝手里的那支笔还差了N级，该变态的时候还是要变态。

"Oh? It seems that Sunagakure is about to produce another strong person." Koharu Utatane said in surprise. They were all Chiyo's juniors and had experienced Chiyo's peak period, so they knew how strong Chiyo's puppetry was.

"I don't know about that. That handsome young man's thirst for art is even stronger than my dead father's... I have a feeling that Sunagakure won't be able to keep him!" Shanks said, stroking his chin.

"Hmph! What can a little brat achieve?" Danzo said disdainfully. He had been in high spirits lately, and seeing his dream girl's surprised look, he quickly jumped out to show off his presence.

"Huh? Brother Danzo, are you still not healed? That damned Hanzo of the Salamander went too far. I'll teach him a lesson when I get the chance." Shanks raised an eyebrow when he saw Danzo jumping out to show his presence again. Can't amount to anything? In a few years, I'll beat you until you call me daddy. You really think you're so great just because you transplanted ten or so double three-tomoe gems?

"The wound just won't heal, so I'm keeping it bandaged," Danzo said dismissively.

"Oh! What a pity, you were the center of attention back then! You were second only to Mirror in terms of handsome men in Konoha!" Shanks boasted wildly.

253. Danzo attained enlightenment.

The three male members of Konoha's Four Great Leaders looked at Shanks with surprise after hearing his words; they had no idea that such a ranking existed back then. Koharu Utatane was more composed; after all, her Kagami was ranked first, so whoever was second didn't matter—no one could compare to his Kagami anyway.

"What, none of you know?" Shanks looked at the three of them who were staring at him in surprise, and then pretended to be surprised as well.

The three shook their heads blankly.

"That was another list after the popularity ranking of women in Konoha back then. Brother Mirror and Brother Danzo dominated the top two spots on the list for several years in a row!" Shanks started talking nonsense again. Anyway, it's been decades, who remembers whether this ever happened?

However, what was said in jest was taken seriously by the listener. Hiruzen Sarutobi was displeased after hearing it. He had always believed that he was the most handsome back then, which was the confidence of a strong person... He always thought that Kagami's popularity was due to the Uchiha clan, but when it came to looks, he had never lost.

Coincidentally, even the soy sauce-loving Mitokado Homura thinks he's the most handsome. Sarutobi Hiruzen has a big beard and is lecherous, but he's not even as tall as him. Kagami is always jealous. Danzo has a big mistake with his chin. As for that greasy fat guy... he's out of the running.

Danzo, on the other hand, had never imagined he would rank so high! With so many men in Konoha, how could he be second?! Thinking this, and glancing at his dream girl, he wanted to slap himself. Why did he have to transplant the Sharingan?! Transplanting it to his right hand was one thing, but why did he have to be so foolish as to transplant it to his right eye?! Danzo was filled with regret!

"Sigh! Time really is a bag of pig feed! Brother Danzo, I heard that Tsunade recently developed a facelift and scar removal surgery, why don't you give it a try?" Shanks looked at Danzo with a sly smile.

"...Hmph! Boring!" Danzo slammed the door shut after saying that. He was genuinely tempted, but then he remembered that Tsunade was from Sarutobi's faction. If he let Tsunade perform the surgery, wouldn't his secret be exposed? But if he couldn't perform the surgery on Tsunade, he could do it on someone else... He could just find someone to learn the procedure.

"Hey! Koharu, you made the right choice back then. If you had followed Danzo with that kind of temper, you would have been miserable to death," Shanks teased Koharu.

"Don't make that kind of joke anymore. I'm not that old anymore." Koharu gave him a wink.

"What did you mean when you said that Sunagakure couldn't keep Chiyo's grandson?" The bespectacled man was right; Mitokado Homura didn't miss a single detail in Shanks's words.

"Well, there's no doubt that Scorpion has exceptional talent, probably even surpassing Kakashi. But after six months together, no matter how I try to train him, he remains consistently indifferent. I reckon that in a few years, when he's even stronger, the ones causing the most trouble won't be us, but rather the Sand Village. He has no concept of 'I love Sand Village, and Sand Village loves me,'" Shanks said. In a few years, the second annual "Most Unlucky Person of the Year" award will go to that bastard Scorpion!

"Hehe! This is a good thing for us." Mitokado Homura laughed after hearing Shanks' words. A powerful puppeteer is very difficult to deal with, especially on the battlefield. They are practically human killing machines. Back in World War II, if Sakumo hadn't used his Musou attack to take down those two powerful puppeteers, the war wouldn't have ended so quickly.

"I'm heading back now. I've been stuck in the Sand Village for half a year, and my skin is completely dried out. I need to go back and take good care of it!" Shanks said before disappearing.

........

"Ryuma! Arrange for someone to go to Konoha Hospital tomorrow. I hope to get Tsunade's facelift and scar removal surgery within a year!" Danzo gave the order to his old lieutenant before even sitting down after returning to Root.

Danzo was incredibly excited on his way back. He had never cared about his appearance before, and even if he couldn't win over Uchiha Kagami, he thought it was just because Kagami had the advantage of being from the Uchiha clan. But after hearing what Shanks said today, he finally understood. Why hadn't he been able to win over Koharu Utatane back then? Wasn't it because he wasn't as pretty as Uchiha Kagami? He was second in line, and Shanks was first.

The reason I'm ranked second is very likely due to the "X" on my chin. My dead father was able to win over the girls of the Uchiha clan, and I perfectly inherited my father's looks, but the "X" on my chin affects my appearance.

If it weren't for that X on his chin back then, he would definitely be prettier than Uchiha Kagami. Koharu would definitely have chosen him. With Uchiha Kagami, the number one stallion of the Uchiha clan, already dead, if he could regain his appearance, wouldn't Koharu be his?

The former leader was a complete idiot back then, spouting nonsense about scars being a form of honor, which caused him and Xiaochun to miss out on each other for decades...

"Understood! Lord Danzo!" Ryoma Aburame was actually quite confused. What kind of surgery was a facelift and scar removal? It sounded like a cosmetic procedure... But with his boss's appearance, even cosmetic surgery couldn't save him. He should have his face replaced, and preferably his body replaced too. He didn't even know if that little twig down there would still be usable... But since his boss had given the order, he would just do as he was told.

"One year..." Danzo began to fantasize again about Koharu seeing him regain his stunning beauty... He never imagined his best friend would be so skilled at teaching disciples. One had exceptional scientific research abilities, the other possessed top-tier medical skills in the ninja world, and of his three students, only Jiraiya was useless and as lecherous as him; the other two were all exceptional talents! Why hadn't he thought of taking on disciples back then...?

If he had taken Tsunade and Orochimaru as his disciples back then, one would have been a medical luminary and the other a scientific authority—it would have been like having a dragon on one side and a tiger on the other. Jiraiya could have been left to his best buddy, since they were just like him anyway.

Thinking of Jiraiya, Danzo thought of the three brats he had taught in the Land of Rain. He unconsciously touched his right eye. If it weren't for those three brats, he wouldn't be in this state. Thinking of how he had been around for so many years, only to be beaten up by three little brats, a strong killing intent surged in Danzo's heart.

"Lord Danzo, you are already so brave and extraordinary, is it necessary for you to undergo those useless surgeries? How are we supposed to live like this!" Just as Danzo's killing intent arose, a warm spring breeze blew by, blowing the killing intent away without a trace.

"Haha! What brings Hiroko here? You don't need to push yourself too hard when learning ninjutsu, take a break!" Danzo laughed as he looked at Hiroko.

Yamanaka Hiroo lived a remarkably carefree life. Being a member of Root, his tongue wasn't bound by any of those messy seals. After learning the clan's secret techniques, he even had access to the Book of Sealing Techniques. Because Danzo feared Root would lack such talent after Hiroo's death, he never tasked Hiroo with dangerous tasks. Every day after practicing ninjutsu, Danzo would listen to Hiroo boast for an hour or two in the morning. And surprisingly, Danzo found that being boasted to every day improved his mood considerably, and with a better mood, his body regained its vitality. He now dared to say that even his best buddy wouldn't outlive him!

254. Year 46 of Konoha

In the 46th year of Konoha, in the elite class classroom of the Ninja Academy, Kame Saburo stood on the podium looking at a group of teenagers below, filled with emotion. It was graduation season again. This was the second batch of graduates he had taught. The last batch was his boss's daughter's class. There were no geniuses. Even his boss's daughter, Linling, was almost a housewife now.

This batch originally included a genius, but he graduated early. As for the other Uchiha oddball who graduated early, Kamezaburo simply couldn't call him a genius. He'd been out of school for five years, and only now he'd barely managed to pull off the Uchiha's signature Fireball Jutsu. As for taijutsu? The green-skinned Guy, who hadn't even graduated yet, completely annihilated him...

Let's look at some other oddballs. The Hokage's youngest son has a cigarette in his mouth and keeps glancing to the side. If the Aburame clan are gangsters, then the Hokage's youngest son is just a street thug.

A patient who appears to be in the late stages of lung cancer coughs twice before speaking, whether he needs to or not. He's incredibly skilled at using his teleportation ability to scare people at night, but he's not exactly good for gathering intelligence or assassinating. He'll use his teleportation to get close to his target, then cough once—even an idiot would know something's up...

There was also a green-skinned, thick-browed Guy, the guy his boss used to pull strings for him. Aside from his amazing taijutsu skills, he was completely useless. He didn't even know the Three Body Techniques. His father was a famous, long-time genin in Konoha. If he hadn't heard that his father had instantly killed a jonin, he really wouldn't have realized that the genin who was glowing green all over was so powerful.

"Two people are still missing. Once everyone arrives, we'll start dividing you into classes, and then your assigned teachers will take you away," Kame Saburo said, glancing at the clock on the wall.

"Teacher, isn't everyone in our class here? Who's missing?" a young boy asked in confusion.

"Sorry we're late!" Just as the boy finished speaking, the classroom door opened, and two boys wearing ninja headbands walked in.

"Kakashi! Obito! What brings you here?" Rin exclaimed in surprise when she saw the two people enter.

Not only was Shi Jielin surprised, but all the young boys in the classroom were also surprised. Hadn't they already graduated? Why were they being reassigned to different classes now?

"Haha! Of course, I'm here to teach you guys how to be ninjas!" Obito laughed smugly.

What was the point of being a genin and doing odd jobs for so many years? Wasn't it all just to show off in front of his World Rin today? For this moment, all the hard work and suffering over the years, seeing the adoring look in World Rin's eyes, made him feel that all those years of hardship were worth it.

Unfortunately, Obito and Kakashi were standing too close, and Obito didn't notice that Rin's gaze was focused on Kakashi, who was wearing a Chunin vest next to him.

"Tch! You've been out of school for so many years and you're still just a genin like us. What's there to be so smug about? Kakashi is already a chunin!" Asuma immediately retorted when he saw this Uchiha weirdo showing off in front of him again. Although Kakashi was his rival, he was much more low-key than Obito, except for his rather glaring chunin vest.

"Damn it!" Asuma's words clearly stung Obito's young heart. If I had a powerful father, I would be a Chunin too! Thinking of this, Obito was inwardly weeping, glaring fiercely at Kakashi.

"..." Kakashi felt the malicious glare from his friend and looked up at the sky speechlessly. Didn't he know who he was? He had faced countless dangers during the Chunin Exams back then! Was the Hokage out of his mind to send him?

Kakashi got a spot in the Chunin Exams and even passed. Meanwhile, Shanks, the vice-principal who was in the same group as Kakashi, didn't even get a spot. He went to ask Shanks, the vice-principal who had been watching him closely and standing guard at the school gate, and was told that it was because Kakashi's father was the head of the Anbu, and the Hokage gave him a spot to save face for his father.

Shanks felt a chill run down his spine from Obito's resentful gaze, like a submissive wife looking at a faithless lover. In the end, he could only come up with a plausible excuse to fool Obito. This complete idiot actually wanted to be a Chunin?! Shanks realized he'd probably pushed Obito's confidence to its absolute peak...

"Kakashi and Obito, please sit down. We'll start assigning classes now." Kame Saburo interrupted their reminiscing after everyone had arrived, mainly to stop Obito from showing off.

".......Team 7! Uchiha Obito, Nohara Rin, Hatake Kakashi! Team leader Minato Namikaze."

"Yay! Bastard!" Obito blocked out all the names in the class assignments. He almost jumped up with excitement when he heard his name and Rin's name, but the last name made him grit his teeth! He gave Kakashi another death stare! "Why? Why did you put Rin in my group and then add this bastard?" Obito, who had thought he wouldn't have to be in the same group as his archenemy, was now both angry and happy, his expression changing back and forth.

"..." Kakashi was completely bewildered by Obito's glare! He stared in astonishment at Obito's constantly changing expressions; this guy's Three Body Technique was so clumsy, yet he'd managed to develop a face-changing technique...

Obito was furious, but Asuma was happy. It seemed that the beating he received from his father was worth it. Kakashi wasn't grouped with Kurenai, so he still had a chance.

Meanwhile, the woman next to Asuma, with her beautiful red eyes, looked at Kaden with some disappointment when she heard that her future husband wasn't in her group.

Asuma was not disappointed by the final class assignments; he discovered that his Hokage father wasn't so useless after all!

Asuma was unaware that his Hokage father had also been struggling with team assignments last night. He had originally intended to put Kakashi and his wife, Red, in the same team, omitting his son. However, when he was about to add his son to Team 7 after writing down Obito Uchiha and Rin Nohara, he inexplicably wrote down Kakashi Hatake's name instead.