Konoha Drunkard

315. You are still so beautiful.

"Harder...yes...a little harder...girl...why are you getting weaker and weaker...I gave you a tip...huff huff huff!"

"..." A gigantic raven flew across the sky....

After the two angry middle-aged men had been fighting for a long time, Shanks finally reacted, but his reaction only made the two angry middle-aged men even more eager to stop!

Hyuga Hizashi looked at the two angry middle-aged men with sympathy. Finally, someone could understand his feelings, and it seemed that the two middle-aged men were even more aggrieved than he was.

"Damn bastard! Ice Release: One-Horned White Whale!"

The beautiful face of the leader of the Minazuki clan turned purple with embarrassment. Anyone who didn't know her gender would have mistaken her for an angry and beautiful young woman. In all his decades as a ninja, he had never been insulted like this before, being mistaken for a massage girl! Even his uncle and aunt couldn't stand it. They unleashed a powerful attack on Shanks, sending a giant ice whale crashing down from the sky.

"Water Release: Water Ball Technique!"

The leader of the Hozuki clan also unleashed the Second Mizukage's Water Ball Technique, creating a bunch of bubbles around him that floated towards Shanks.

"Boom boom boom boom boom boom!"

As the white whale crashed down, bubbles exploded repeatedly on Shanks, and the resulting smoke engulfed the three of them.

"Do you think that Konoha Red-Haired Man is dead?" asked a member of the Minazuki clan to his companion.

"They should be dead! Both clan leaders went all out, and the explosion lasted so long, their bodies are probably obliterated by now," said a companion beside him.

"........"

The Konoha ninjas watching from a distance realized that these two were overthinking things. Their Lord Shanks couldn't even be killed by a Tailed Beast Ball, so how could their pseudo-ultimate moves, which were supposed to be powerful enough, work?

"Huh? What's going on? Were you two invited by the Uchiha clan chief for drinks?" Sure enough, after the smoke cleared, Shanks finally woke up. Shanks looked blankly at the angry-looking people in front of him: one with naturally uncorrected teeth, and the other an incredibly beautiful young woman, though flat-chested.

"..." Everyone on the battlefield looked at the second male lead's father. The second male lead's father was speechless under the gaze of tens of thousands of people. The damn thing was that he acted as if he hadn't drunk alcohol for hundreds of years. He could pick up a bottle and chug it, but his alcohol tolerance was very low and he didn't have the guts to drink. What did that have to do with him?

"He's completely unharmed? Is he even human?!" The members of the Minazuki and Hozuki clans looked at the bewildered Shanks and felt a headache coming on. Were they really going to fight someone like this? No wonder the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist were captured alive. With that kind of hardness, those broken swords couldn't even scratch him.

"Damn it! Die!" Like an enraged Red Bull, the leader of Minazuki grabbed a kunai and stabbed at Shanks. His anger had burned his brain cells, and he forgot that even his ultimate move couldn't break through the opponent's defense. What use was a broken kunai?

"Ding!"

"Are you male?"

Shanks let the broken kunai pierce his body and stared in astonishment at the flat-chested, beautiful young woman in front of him.

"Bastard! I'll kill you!"

Upon hearing Shanks' words, the leader of the Minazuki clan became even more furious. Being mistaken for a girl was one thing, but the Minazuki clan was used to it. However, this bastard actually used him to distinguish between male and female.

"Jingle bells!"

The aristocratic clanging of metal from Los Angeles began again, as Minazuki, the leader of the gang, brandished a broken kunai and showed off all sorts of skills on Shanks.

Looking at the Minazuki leader with smoke rising from his head, Hozuki didn't seem to have anything to be angry about. He could only blame himself for not being able to kill him. Looking at the Minazuki leader, who was being used to distinguish male from female, Hozuki felt instantly relieved! Watching the Minazuki leader wielding the kunai and manipulating it, he silently cheered him on.

"...You're male, so you're from the Minazuki clan?" Shanks said, ignoring the kunai constantly poking him, stroking his chin. The most beautiful clan in the ninja world was indeed true; the Uchiha clan was known for its handsome men and beautiful women, and the Minazuki clan was famous for its members, both male and female, being incredibly beautiful! Without them speaking, you couldn't tell if they were even male or female; after all, even in the world of anime, there are flat-chested women...

"Jingle bells!"

Minazuki, the person in charge, ignored Shanks' words and continued to show off.

"There are so many of you here, you're definitely not here to drink... you're here to fight?" Shanks said, looking at the surrounding audience.

"Teacher, stop babbling! This isn't the time to chat!" Inuzuka Tsuru finally realized that they were still fighting and had almost been led astray by their homeroom teacher!

"What's the rush! You see this Minazuki something-or-other is helping me sober up?!" Shanks rolled his eyes at Inuzuka Tsurugi, the older he gets, the stronger his manly traits become.

"........"

The Konoha villagers looked up at the sky, thinking, "Can you please stop? We still want you to help us grind experience! You can have the MVP, or at least give us the assists!"

The Mist Ninja were bewildered. What to do? They couldn't kill the enemy when he was asleep, but now that he's awake, how are they supposed to fight?

"By the way, what's your name again? I have a good friend who's also from your Minazuki clan, named Minazuki Seiji. Back when I infiltrated your Land of Water and got lost on my life's journey, it was he who showed me the way!" Shanks ignored the angry glare and murderous kunai of the Minazuki leader and chatted with him casually.

"...Who the hell is Minazuki Sperm? Get out here!" The Minazuki leader was even more furious after hearing Shanks' words. How could his clansmen be so stupid? If he's lost, let him be lost. Why give him pointers? Does he want him to come and annoy me?

........

The members of the Minazuki clan looked at each other, some hesitant and unsure how to speak.

"...Uh...Clan Chief Minazuki, Minazuki Sperm seems to be your name..." Hozuki, the leader, looked at Minazuki, the leader, with a strange expression.

"What! You're the sperm? What a coincidence! It's been thirty years since we last met. I never expected to see you here. You're still so beautiful! Hiashi, bring some sake!" Shanks put his arm around Minazuki, who was still in a daze after hearing Hozuki's words.

He hadn't used his name since becoming the family head, and his mind had been clouded by rage. He hadn't reacted in time, staring blankly at Shanks embracing him, realizing that the idiot was himself...

"Have we met before?" Minazuki, the leader, also stopped and looked at Shanks blankly. He had no memory of him at all. Moreover, Shanks' portrait had been there ever since he split the village in two. There was a statue of him at the school's entrance ceremony and on the beach he had split open, used to spit on the villagers. If he knew him, how could he not remember him? Someone with such distinctive features couldn't possibly be unrecognizable.

316. Another battlefield has been distorted.

"I'm Mouri Takeshi, the guy who opened a bathhouse in Kirigakure back then, don't you remember? I even helped you teach that little brat from Hozuki's family a lesson that night!" Shanks said excitedly, pointing at himself. These days, it's really not easy to run into an acquaintance in the ninja world where fighting and killing are so common.

"......What the hell...is this a family reunion?...And what the hell is Mori Takeo? How could he come up with such a ridiculous name, and...those two guards and the Minazuki clan chief actually believed it!" A group of Kirigakure ninjas looked at the excited Shanks speechlessly.

"...I do seem to remember you. I didn't expect that person to be you. Now you're the famous Shanks of Konoha!" Minazuki, the leader, stroked his chin and squatted down to chat with Shanks. He didn't hold a grudge against Shanks because Shanks had helped him teach the Hozuki family a lesson back then.

"Yes, it's been so many years. I never imagined that someone as gentle as you would become the head of the Minazuki clan. It's unbelievable," Shanks said, taking the sake from Hiashi who rushed over.

"Haha! Because my father was the clan chief, and after he passed away, I couldn't make a living outside, so I had to go back to be the clan chief." Mizuki Seiko scratched the back of her head and laughed awkwardly.

"Sogda! It's so nice to be the heir of your family. If things don't work out, you can go back and inherit the family business. You have no idea I have two gambling addicts and a delivery guy in my family. It's not easy for one person to make a living like this. By the way, what happened to that kid and his older brother? You don't know that I was planning to carve turtles on their faces with a knife to help you get revenge, but in the end, I just drew them with a pen because I was heartbroken." Shanks opened the bottle, filled a glass with liquor, and handed it to him.

"Uh..." Minazuki Seiko had just taken the sake when she heard Shanks' words, and she almost dropped it.

"I'll kill you, you bastard! It was you all along!" A loud roar from the leader of the Hozuki clan came from behind Shanks. After so many years, the mystery has finally been solved! It turns out that this bastard had drawn turtles on the faces of his family with some unknown liquid, causing them to be afraid to leave the house for days.

Thinking of what happened back then, Hozuki snatched a katana from one of his underlings and charged at Shanks, hacking away at him relentlessly.

"Jingle bells!"

The sound of hammering rang out again.

"...What's going on here? How did this family reunion turn into a revenge gathering?!" Neither the Konoha ninja nor the Mist ninja could process this. The tone of the scene changed too quickly. From shouting for battle to chatting, and then to a crime-solving battlefield, all they knew was that Shanks and the Hozuki clan leader knew each other and got along well. They also knew that the Hozuki clan leader had been bullied by a brat from the Hozuki clan years ago, and Shanks had avenged him that night by drawing turtles on the faces of the entire Hozuki clan... After some analysis, everyone looked at the Hozuki clan leader, who was red-faced and furiously slashing at Shanks with a broken sword.

“This Hozuki clan leader is either the little kid from back then or his older brother,” Inuzuka Tsuru said, giving everyone the answer they were thinking.

"Mmmmmmm!"

Everyone nodded in agreement; this relationship was indeed quite complicated! All the grudges and grievances traced back thirty years! My goodness!

It's true what they say, you have as many friends as enemies! And to the point that you met both friends and enemies on the same day—amazing!

"You wouldn't happen to be that brat from back then, would you? How did you manage to survive and remain so arrogant!" Shanks let Hozuki, the leader of the gang, chop at him while stroking his chin, channeling his inner Detective Conan.

"Bastard! I'm his older brother! I'll kill you, you son of a bitch!" Hozuki, the leader, roared angrily and swung his broadsword even harder.

"Oh my! What a coincidence! I didn't expect you to still be alive! It's fate that people from thirty years ago can meet again. Let's not fight and kill each other, it's not good! Come on, put down your sword and have a drink. This is the Hyuga clan's secret wine, a powerful clan in the ninja world. Every drink is one less! By the way, aren't you the eldest grandson of the third brother? How did you become the clan leader? Could it be...! Sigh! This circle is really messed up!" After sighing with endless wild thoughts, Shanks caught the blade with his bare hands, knocked the Hozuki leader's sword aside, grabbed his hand, and placed a full glass of wine in his hand. The Hozuki leader had no way to resist the whole process.

“…Bastard…” Although he knew what this bastard was thinking, Hozuki closed his eyes and stopped bringing up the past, putting the memories into this glass of wine and swallowing it down in one gulp.

That said, he was able to become the head of the clan thanks to Shanks. Back when Shanks was bravely venturing into Kirigakure, the eldest son of the former head of the clan was killed by the Tailed Beast Ball. After reuniting with his biological father, Shanks, through a series of bizarre maneuvers, became the heir of the Hozuki clan.

"No way! I really guessed right?" Shanks asked in a low voice, looking at the expression on Hozuki's face.

"Yes! I heard that many members of the Hozuki clan died because of this back then," Minazuki Seiko nodded and said.

"Hey! Don't be sad. Life is bound to have its ups and downs. It's all in the past now. Didn't you reunite with your biological father? And you even inherited the Hozuki clan's business. It's all good stuff!" Shanks looked at the Hozuki clan leader with sympathy. Being born into a wealthy family is really... hard to explain. Who knows when a biological father might suddenly appear?

The people on the battlefield just watched as the three in the center chatted away, and the Mist Ninja had no idea what they were there for.

The two powerful families weren't making a move, and they had no say in the matter. The leaders of the two families were still chatting with Konoha Kurenai, so how could they possibly take action?

"Well...why don't we...sit down and rest for a bit? We've been standing all day." Inuzuka Tsuru looked at his equally bewildered Konoha companions.

"Sit down, clansmen. Go back and bring out all the sake," Hiashi said to the clansmen behind him. Seeing that the fight was over, Hiashi sat down without further ado. His former homeroom teacher was still as fierce as ever, managing to steer another battle astray.

"Tianli, go and get our wine too." The second male lead's father sat down and said to the tribesmen behind him. He never expected that the fierce battle would be resolved by his dozens of bottles of wine. If Shanks hadn't gotten drunk, things probably wouldn't have escalated to this point... This wine really did a great job! The second male lead's father planned to drink a few glasses every day from now on to commemorate what happened today.

When the Mist Ninja saw that the Konoha Ninja had already started sitting down and drinking contests, the Mist Ninja couldn't sit still either. Their Land of Water had plenty of seafood and alcohol, so they sent hundreds of people back to their camp to carry alcohol. They also sat down and started chatting, and Shanks took what was supposed to be a life-or-death battle off course.

317. Jiraiya's utter bewilderment

"What... what's going on here?" Jiraiya stared blankly at the Konoha and Mist ninja sitting in rows on the battlefield, seemingly inseparable, drinking together. He had rushed over without stopping after hearing the news of the Mist ninja's attack on his way back, hoping he would make it in time. The Raikage was exhausted by ten thousand Iwa ninja, and even if his captain was incredibly powerful, he couldn't possibly handle twenty or thirty thousand Mist ninja, right? He never expected that after rushing here exhausted without even having a sip of water, he would arrive to find Konoha and Mist ninja chatting and drinking together!

"Hahaha! I didn't expect so many things to have happened in your Hidden Mist Village over the past few decades! Hozuki Clan Chief, Hozuki Clan Chief, where is your nominal younger brother?" A hearty laugh reached Jiraiya's side. He turned around and saw, damn it, his captain was drinking with two leaders of the Hidden Mist Village. Judging from their flushed faces, they were probably quite drunk.

"Ah! He sacrificed himself in a mission!" Hozuki said with a hint of sadness. Although they weren't blood brothers, they were born of the same mother and had lived together for so many years. It would be a lie to say there was no affection between them.

"That's how the ninja world is. Nobody knows how long they'll live! Like, it's been thirty years since we last met. I thought you were all dead, but now you're all in charge. Come on! Let's have another drink to our reunion!" Shanks raised his bottle. A true ninja never needs a glass to drink.

Jiraiya watched the three men in the center of the battlefield chatting and drinking, tears streaming down his face! What the hell did I even come here for...? The captain is truly the number one unpredictable ninja in the ninja world; wherever he is, the outcome is always unpredictable...

"Huh? Jiraiya-sama, why are you only arriving now? I've already had two rounds of drinks! Come on, come on! Hiashi, bring the sake!" Jiraiya shouted, glancing at Hiashi, who was quite drunk, in a daze.

"Hiashi, what's going on? Didn't we say we were fighting with the Mist Ninja?" Jiraiya walked over, blinking his beady eyes incessantly.

"Sigh! It's a long story. Originally, the Mist Ninja were going to attack us, but when the teacher was drinking with the Uchiha clan leader, he got so drunk that he passed out and couldn't be woken up no matter what we did. Later..." Hiashi, after getting drunk, rattled off the story like a machine gun, vividly describing the events, the outcome, and the shift in the plot.

"Sigh! Captain is truly amazing. I never expected that the leader of the Mist Ninja has known them for thirty years!" Jiraiya could only express his last words in his wine glass. This is just too unscientific. When he was leading the team, he fought tooth and nail against them, but when they arrived, they didn't even need to fight. It turns out they all knew each other. Weren't all those people who sacrificed themselves back then just unjustly killed?

"Hizashi, bring some sake! Oh, Jiraiya's here too. Come here, let me introduce you to two friends. Just mention their names when you pay for the whole chain in Kirigakure in the future." Shanks turned around and called out to Hizashi, seeing a white-haired man sitting next to him.

"Ah! No need for introductions, Captain. I know them very well." Jiraiya said, pouting. They've fought several times already, how could he not know them?

"Haha! Really? That's great! Come on! Cheers!" Shanks raised the bottle that Hizashi had just brought over once more.

"...Ah! Clan leaders, why is there such a big difference between your last meeting and the one before?" Jiraiya asked, taking a sip of his drink and looking at Minazuki Seiko and Hozuki, the head of the clan.

Minazuki Seiko and Hozuki's leader exchanged a glance and sighed.

"Originally, we planned to just coast along on the battlefield until the war was over. After all, our two clans don't have any major grudges against Konoha. But I don't know why the Mizukage hates Konoha so much. He was furious when he saw the two of us coasting along here and threatened us with our wives and children, so... sigh!" Mizuki sighed after she finished speaking.

"I see! The Mizukage would actually do something like this, how despicable! But Captain, could it be that the Mizukage hates Konoha so much just to avenge the Three-Tails?" Jiraiya looked at Shanks with suspicion.

"Bullshit! That giant turtle dares to say it wants revenge on me? You're dreaming. It wouldn't even dare to show its face in front of me, believe it or not?" Shanks said, pouting. He was now the number one tailed beast killer in the ninja world, especially intimidating to Kirigakure. He had cut down two tailed beasts. However, the Mizukage's hatred for Konoha had little to do with him. That was Hashirama Senju's fault, and he wouldn't take the blame for it. Who told him to betray his love with Madara... Although Madara hated him too, it shouldn't be to that extent. Hashirama Senju was his true love.

"What will happen to the families of the two clan leaders if this continues?" Jiraiya said worriedly. As a righteous and excellent teacher, Jiraiya couldn't stand the Mizukage's despicable methods.

"...You ask me? How would I know! Playing mind games is the Nara clan's business. But we can stall for time until things end in the Land of Lightning or the Land of Wind, then you can lead your teams back. That way, the Mizukage won't really harm your families, unless he doesn't want to continue being the Mizukage." Shanks said, stroking his chin.

He originally wanted to go to the Land of Water, but the Land of Water is Madara's territory, and there are just too many White Zetsu clones. Madara would definitely know as soon as he entered the Land of Water.

Furthermore, Madara still needs to control the Land of Water, so he probably won't really force the two families to rebel.

"Come on, cheers! Let's not talk so much. Maybe he really just wanted to threaten you. After all, you are two of the most powerful families in Kirigakure. He's not so stupid as to actually kill your wives and children." Shanks raised his bottle and continued drinking.