Konoha Drunkard

As for the disappearance of those high-ranking members of Iwagakure, besides the secret deal between Onoki and Kakuzu, who else could have accomplished such a thing?

There are very few S-rank rogue ninjas in the ninja world right now, and Kakuzu is the most reputable among them, the kind who won't take money unless he kills his target.

"Looks like I'll have to hang out with Kakuzu for a while when I have time. I wonder if he's with Nagato now." Shanks thought to himself as he stroked his chin beside Hiruzen Sarutobi, his lewd smile sending chills down Hiruzen's spine.

“I don’t object to you accepting gifts, but it must not affect the peace talks. This is a significant achievement for Minato,” Hiruzen Sarutobi said.

"Alright, alright, you don't know how hard it is to support a family if you don't have one. I really don't know how you guys could do such a pointless thing, signing such useless agreements. Every time you sign them, you still end up fighting and slashing each other behind the scenes," Shanks complained.

"This is a ritual established by the First and Second Hokage. Even if it's useless, it still has to be performed." Hiruzen Sarutobi looked at the Hokage Rock by the window. Every now and then, another head would appear on it. He hadn't realized he had been doing this for so many years. Time really flies.

328. Kakashi is getting more and more cunning.

"Kakashi, tell me the truth, am I your idol? Even the scar on your eye looks so much like mine." On the border of Iwagakure, only Shanks and Kakashi came to greet the Iwagakure giant, Aoki Nozomi. Kakashi was mainly dragged over by Shanks. As the disciple of the soon-to-be new Hokage, how could he not come and learn from him?

"..." Kaka gave him another deadpan look, his hand unconsciously touching his covered left eye. "Do you think I did that on purpose? If you say that, I'd rather get a new eye."

"Alright, stop touching it. So what if you have a Sharingan? Always showing off. Why didn't you say so earlier? I wouldn't have known you wanted it if you hadn't said so. You should have said so if you wanted it. Having a double tomoe is useless. How about I get you a Mangekyou Sharingan instead?" Shanks kept nagging at Kakashi.

"...How could you tell I was being smug?" If he could beat him, Ka-Dian really wanted to sew his mouth shut.

"Stop showing off. Why are you covering your eyes? Trying to pick up girls? Let me tell you, your marriage to that girl with the colored contacts was something I shamelessly and earnestly promised back then. You can't let her down." Shanks vigorously ruffled his white hair.

“…Covering up the Sharingan doesn’t consume as much chakra,” Kakashi said helplessly. It’s so hard to get this irreverent middle-aged man to be serious.

"Is this even possible? But with the weak constitution of your Hatake clan, there's no use in hiding it. I told you back then that I should name you '50/50,' but your father absolutely refused. Look at you now, you're already 50/50 before you even fight anyone. You don't even have enough mana to do anything!" Shanks complained.

".......What does this have to do with the name..." Kadian was used to the unconventional thinking of middle-aged men, who would come up with ideas on their own.

"It's incredibly important! Let me tell you, don't believe your old man's nonsense about names being just code names. A name reflects a father's expectations for his child. Your old man just came up with a name randomly when he named you. I spent months thinking about names for him, and he still wasn't satisfied! Look at Garp's name, that's the name of a legendary naval hero, and Linlin is also the name of one of the Four Emperors." Shanks unknowingly unleashed his masterful deception, though he didn't even know what he was saying.

"...Isn't Lingling preparing to marry Lord Shikaku and become a housewife?"

A critical hit from Card Master with a score of 10000+

Since Obito left, Kakashi's cunning has become more and more pronounced, delivering a critical blow to Shanks.

"...You've gotten too cocky since you got your new eyes. Should I print out a photo of you without pants and make a book about you?" Shanks said in a sinister tone.

"..." Kadian rolled his dead fish eyes again, and he knew that this bastard's photos of him were not just for souvenirs.

"Remember, when talking to elders, you can only answer with 'yes' or 'no,' understand?" Shanks looked at the impotent Kakashi and stroked his white hair with satisfaction. Dare to talk back to me like that, I'll rub you until you're turned into the third generation of the Leaf Village Vulture.

"yes....!."

Kadian said in a drawn-out tone, speechless at the middle-aged man, "What's the point of you, an old man, arguing with us kids?"

“That’s more like it. As your father’s good brother and your godfather, I still care about you. If you’re willing, I’ll help you find a kaleidoscope and have you transplant the first generation’s cells, and I guarantee you’ll be able to fly and teleport.” Shanks said smugly.

He couldn't possibly give him the Mangekyou Sharingan that the Uchiha Kagami had. However, after the Uchiha clan was wiped out in a few years, the second male lead's father's Mangekyou Sharingan could be dealt with. Moreover, Obito and Kakashi were also preparing to awaken their Mangekyou Sharingan. But if Kakashi were given another Mangekyou Sharingan and paired with the First Hokage's cells, Kakashi would instantly transform into a powerful man in half a month. The change in style would be too drastic, and Shanks didn't dare to think about it anymore.

"...No, these are the eyes Obito gave me, I won't trade them." Kakashi saw that Shanks' mouth was already drooling, he was definitely up to no good.

"You wouldn't even take the Mangekyou Sharingan? Do you know how many people in the ninja world would fight to the death for it? Speaking of Obito, it's really... I should have gotten him to take some artistic photos back then. All the current photos are of him fully clothed, what a pity!" Shanks said regretfully. If he had given Obito some artistic photos taken back then, would Obito have been the first to challenge him to a duel after evolving...?

"......"

Kadian was speechless, suddenly relieved that his best friend had died early, otherwise he didn't know how many more schemes and torments he would have suffered.

After Kakashi fell silent, neither of them spoke, and they just waited at the border. Shanks sat under a big tree and took out the Uchiha sake he had robbed from the second male lead's father. He opened the bottle and started chugging. Ever since he got drunk in the Land of Water, he seemed to have become addicted to it. He really liked the Uchiha sake. The ancient noble family was indeed different. Moreover, the Uchiha had a much larger collection of sake than the Senju. He wondered if it was because when Konoha was founded, Hashirama Senju auctioned off all of the Senju's sake, leaving only a small amount, which Shanks had finished in two or three years.

The Uchiha clan truly knows how to live. Shanks only truly saw the confidence of a thousand-year-old family in the Uchiha sake cellar. He filled three sealing scrolls, but it was still just a drop in the ocean for them. Judging from the unchanging expressions of the second male lead's father and Itachi, the sake cellar was probably just a trivial matter for them.

Kakashi, meanwhile, took out a small notebook from his ninja tool bag and quietly looked at it with interest, unaware that Shanks was watching him while drinking.

"What book are you reading so intently? It's not written by Jiraiya, is it?" Shanks glanced at the cover. It wasn't written by Jiraiya. Jiraiya had only just begun writing that "Make-Out Paradise." He would only start writing when he traveled all over the world looking for inspiration.

"I just picked it up at the bookstore; the owner said it's selling really well lately," Kadian said, looking at the little notebook without batting an eye.

"What did you see in this book?" Shanks asked, puzzled. It seemed that when it came to real objects, Shanks' focus was never on the same thing as other people's.

"The plot of this book is not bad, but the descriptions of the human body are too detailed, leaving no room for the reader's imagination. Jiraiya-sama's previous book was much better than this one. I don't know why that book didn't sell well." Kaka commented seriously.

"If the descriptions in this book aren't detailed enough, no one will read it. And it's not that Jiraiya didn't want to write; it's just that his education level is limited, and he can't come up with those vivid words," Shanks said, pouting. Being able to appreciate a small notebook as a high-brow literary work is a truly amazing talent.

329. Kakuzu, a good teammate

"Is Jiraiya-sama's education level really that low?" Kakashi looked at Shanks in surprise. He thought that people who could publish books were all highly educated.

"Hehe! Writing this kind of thing mainly depends on one's life experience. As long as you spend enough time hanging out on the rooftop of a bathhouse, you can write it too. Jiraiya has been hanging out there for decades. Apart from his writing skills being lacking, his experience is definitely enough." Shanks began to patiently instruct Kakashi.

.........

The two were chatting about how to write in the notebook until midday when two figures rushed over from a distance, looking like they had just been robbed. Their clothes were tattered, their hair was messy, and they looked like they had been subjected to inhuman abuse.

"Yo! Brother Aoki, you've finally arrived. What's wrong with you looking like this? Did someone take you down?" Shanks asked, seeing that the two were the Iwa ninja giants they were supposed to greet, Aoki Nozomi, and wondering if they were Onoki's son, Kyoto.

Observation Haki activated and they discovered that someone was indeed chasing them. The familiar 20,000 was glowing green and was tightly wrapped up. Wasn't that the long-lost acquaintance Kakuzu? Could it be that Onoki hadn't paid Kakuzu the bounty he owed, and Kakuzu was planning to kidnap his son?

"Huff, huff! We encountered a monster on our way here, saying he wanted our heads to pay off a debt. Everyone who came with us is dead." Aoki saw Shanks and it was like seeing God. He almost couldn't resist kissing him. This was a real lifesaver. He couldn't run any further. The person behind him was too monstrous. He unleashed an S-rank ninjutsu with a single move. Even if he and Iwato teamed up, they couldn't withstand a single combination of ninjutsu.

"Don't worry, once we're at the border of the Land of Fire, I'll protect you. But my wife really liked the two carriages of gifts you gave me last time, and she's planning to have me buy more. But you know I have a family to support, and my daughter is getting married soon. The dowry for her still isn't impressive enough! It's tough!" This kind of opportunity doesn't come around often, and if he didn't take advantage of it to make a big profit, he would feel like he was letting down his good teammate Kakuzu who gave him this chance.

"Don't worry, Lord Shanks. I left in such a hurry that I didn't prepare any gifts. Since your wife likes my gifts, I'll have ten carriages delivered in a few days. How could I possibly charge you for such small things, Lord Shanks!" Smart people do think quickly. Before Huang Tu next to Aoki Wang could even react, Aoki Wang knew that Shanks was trying to take advantage of his predicament. However, for someone who had been a big shot in Iwagakure for over ten years, money was a small matter as long as he could survive.

"Hey! Kakashi, did you see that? This is the prestige of the Iwagakure giants. They greet you with a grand gift like a carriage. You're also an heir to a prestigious family, you should learn from them. You guys go first, let's see who's so arrogant as to chase us here to my territory." Upon hearing that a carriage would be coming in a few days, Shanks immediately put on his Guan Yu brotherly spirit and spoke to Aoki Nozomi with a strong sense of loyalty.

"...Please follow me, both of you."

Kakashi was completely speechless. He'd never seen anyone so shameless. Even at a time like this, he had to rob someone to feel happy. His wealth was probably almost equal to that of the Hatake clan...

Aoki and Huang Tu stopped arguing. Now was not the time for reminiscing. They knew how fierce the people chasing them were. A single combination of super S-type ninjutsu had wiped out all their men. If they hadn't run fast, they would have been dead too. They had important things to do. They would leave the revenge to Onoki. Their own son had almost been killed, so Onoki couldn't possibly remain indifferent.

"Hey, Kakuzu, really. With our friendship spanning so many years, you never come to Konoha to have a drink with me. Instead, you come here to do business."

After Shanks watched as Kaname led Aoki and Kouto away, he complained to the shadows not far away.

"...You're such a busy person, how could I dare disturb your teaching and nurturing?" Kakuzu emerged from the shadows.

Although they had spent some time together, Shanks was still very worried. After hearing about how he had anally assaulted Onoki, Shanks felt grateful to God that he hadn't been assaulted while traveling with Onoki. This was also why he always stayed away from Konoha when doing business. This time, he couldn't help but chase after Aoki Nozomi and Yotsuchi because their heads were too valuable. As a result, what he feared most came to pass.

"You're being too polite. We're friends, and I, Shanks, only make friends from the heart. I'm so happy you came to have a drink with me!" Shanks said, walking over and putting his arm around his shoulder.

"How much are the heads of Aoki Nozomi and Huang Tu combined?" Shanks asked quietly, handing over a bottle of Uchiha liquor.

"...One hundred million in total, Aoki Nozomi eighty million, and Koto twenty million. What? Is Konoha's Red Hair short of money too?" Kakuzu asked, taking the wine with a puzzled look.

"You're not short of money, yet you still run your business!" Shanks said, pouting.

"The ten carriages that Aoki Nozomi gave you are enough for you to marry off ten daughters," Kakuzu remarked. He had never seen such a way to amass wealth before; it was quite an eye-opener for him.

"When you're supporting two gambling kings, you'll realize that no amount of money is more than fleeting. By the way, have you been to the Land of Rain recently? I heard that Hanzo the Salamander has closed the country off. What's going on?" Shanks asked curiously, noticing that Kakuzu wasn't wearing his flamboyant red cloud uniform yet. In his mind, Kakuzu was so famous in the underground bounty world that Nagato should be the first to come looking for him.

"Hanzo the Salamander is probably already dead. A while ago, some people claiming to be from Akatsuki came to me and asked me to join them. I'm still considering it." Kakuzu really considered Shanks a friend. His heart, which had been deeply hurt by the village, was still greatly moved when he heard Shanks call him a friend. So when Shanks asked him, it was fine for him to talk about it as long as it didn't violate his principles. However, if he joined Akatsuki, it would be a different story.

"That poisonous fish is dead? That can't be!" Shanks asked, feigning surprise. He could roughly guess that Nagato had already started to become abnormal, and he was only missing Obito to guide him into the sect. He had already found Kakuzu, and he guessed that the little scorpion wouldn't be far behind.

“The leader of Akatsuki is very powerful; it’s not surprising that we were able to kill him,” Kakuzu said, his expression somewhat grim.

"You weren't attacked by their leader, were you?" Shanks could tell from Kakuzu's expression that the plot was probably Nagato using the puppet Pain to find Kakuzu and trying to invite him into Akatsuki.

But who is Kakuzu? He's the man who dared to attack the God of Shinobi. Regardless of whether it was a kunai from 800 miles away or not, he still managed to survive attacking the God of Shinobi. How dare you, a mere brat, make Kakuzu your subordinate? You're asking for trouble. What follows is a fierce attack. In any case, the final result will definitely be that Kakuzu will be defeated once again, following in the footsteps of Hashirama Senju and Shanks.

Shanks looked at Kakuzu with pity. Kakuzu was truly pitiful. The immortal Kakuzu was probably the Kage-level character who had been beaten up the most, simply because he was immortal, which meant he had to endure more beatings.

330. Even making money can be so refreshingly unconventional.

"how?"

Kakuzu sensed Shanks' gaze and, recalling the incident of Onoki's anal assault, his anus tightened, and he asked nervously.

"It's nothing, it's just that I haven't seen you for years. The forbidden techniques of Takigakure are so obscure, I haven't seen you in ages," Shanks said casually. He couldn't reveal his true feelings, otherwise the other person might commit seppuku five times.

"As long as I have a heart, I am considered immortal." Kakuzu breathed a sigh of relief. As long as he didn't have his eye on Kikube, that was fine. As for the forbidden techniques of Takigakure, they were no secret in the ninja world, just like Hero Water. It was just that outsiders couldn't find out where Takigakure was.

"I'm so envious. Look at me, I'm already middle-aged. In another ten years or so, you'll still be able to fight my grandson, but I'll be too old to fight. Just look at the Third Raikage. If he weren't old, how could those ten thousand Iwa ninja monsters have possibly exhausted him?" Shanks said, taking a swig of his drink.

"Don't you Konoha have any forbidden techniques like this?" Kakuzu was genuinely concerned for Shanks. This was his closest friend in decades, and he was thinking about how Shanks was still alive decades later while his only friend was already gone.

"Didn't he die before the second generation was even developed? Life and death are predestined, wealth and honor are determined by fate. Let's not talk about this anymore, I have to go back now. Remember to come to Konoha to drink with me sometime!" Shanks and Kakuzu finished a bottle and then left in a dashing manner.

"..." Kakuzu was still standing there, grieving over Shanks' retreating figure, having already forgotten that this bastard had ruined his 100 million bounty deal because of a single bottle of wine...

.......

When Shanks caught up with Kamen Rider and the others, the three of them were eating. It was mainly Nozomi Aoki and Tsuchiya who had been chased for a day and a night and were exhausted, so their stomachs were also upset.

"Haha! Don't worry, Brother Aoki, I've already dealt with that guy. You guys were unlucky to run into him on your way out. You're the first wave to survive his attacks." Praising the enemy is just a way of praising yourself. I managed to get rid of such a powerful enemy. Tell me, am I awesome or not?

"Oh? Lord Shanks, may I ask who that person is?" Huang Tu became curious after hearing Shanks's praise of that person. He knew that monster was really fierce, and he always used powerful moves.

"He's the famous bounty hunter Kakuzu. Your father, Onoki, had a lot of contact with him, so you should have heard of him," Shanks said with a smile, looking at Huang Tu.

"So that's Kakuzu! No wonder he's so powerful!" Huang Tu seemed not to notice Shanks's gaze and suddenly realized. How could he not recognize him? His father had even made him pay for things a few times, but he had never met Kakuzu before.

"Of course he's powerful. Over the years, from the high-ranking officials of your Iwagakure to the lowly thugs of the Land of Birds, no one who accepted his bounty has ever survived. The fact that you're in my territory is a sign of his respect; otherwise, he wouldn't have given up until he chased you to the ends of the earth." Shanks raised an eyebrow at Aoki Nozomi, his meaning clear: raise the price!

"That's right. I really have to thank Lord Shanks this time. The ten carriages I promised before can be considered a gift to Lord Shanks. I will definitely repay your life-saving grace." Aoki Nozomi emphasized the words "repay your grace", his heart was bleeding. Ten carriages was already almost half of his wealth. If he had to repay the grace again, all his years as a tycoon would be for nothing. He would be back to square one.

"Haha! How could I possibly accept that! We're friends, how could I not help a friend in need! But... since you're so sincere, it would be embarrassing for me to refuse you, so I'll reluctantly accept it." Shanks said with a laugh.

"......"

Kadian realized that all the talk of exchanging peace talks personnel was a lie. This middle-aged man was just there to swindle money, only his methods were refreshingly unconventional.

"Haha! I really do appreciate it, Lord Shanks." Aoki Nozomi said with a fake smile. He really hoped that Shanks wouldn't give him face and would reject him harshly and slap him in the face!

"By the way, nephew Huangtu, how's your old man doing? Our Hokage is about to retire, you should tell him to step down. Stop hogging the job. How old are you? You're still doing his chores all day." Shanks said to the burly Huangtu. The Onoki family is quite peculiar: short, strong, and long-legged. Earthlings simply can't fit these three characteristics into three generations of a family.

"......"

Kaden and Aoki Nozomi remained silent. It seemed like they were trying to trick someone into believing that he had murdered his father and seized the throne. Aoki Nozomi dared not speak, in case he said something wrong. He had also seen how powerful that angle was just now. No wonder so many high-ranking people in the village had disappeared for no reason!

Ka said he was used to the unrestrained imagination of middle-aged people, who would say whatever came to mind without considering the consequences.

"Father is not bad, he should be able to serve as Tsuchikage for another ten years or so! I don't have enough experience or talent, I can't be the Tsuchikage." Huang Tu said without any emotion.

"Nephew, your talent isn't enough for you to live on. I think he's just too power-hungry and doesn't want to give you power. If I had a father like that, I'd beat him to a pulp!" Shanks started rambling on and on, and no one could stop him.

"Lord Shanks, aren't you surnamed Uzumaki?" Huang Tu feigned confusion. Don't let his burly appearance fool you; he's quite shrewd. He couldn't simply ignore that question; playing dumb was the most practical approach.

"Tch! You're already outside, why are you afraid of him? I'll protect you if anything happens. Besides, there are no outsiders here, so speak freely and vent all the resentment you've had from being bullied by him for so many years." Shanks said to Huang Tu, activating Hitler's Seduction Technique.