Konoha Drunkard

Minato thought Shanks had a point. If a Kage's strength was mediocre, even with the best protection, there was still a risk of their base being raided. Just like this time, if it had been Onoki, the Iwa ninja, Kakuzu wouldn't have dared to pursue him. Although Onoki was often beaten by Shanks, Shanks' Dust Release was indeed monstrous, killing instantly upon being hit.

"How much compensation did the Iwa ninja agree to? If that's not enough, I'll go with them tonight to tour Konoha's sacred grounds and have a good talk with them. The Hokage is going to recommend them to the Daimyo in a couple of days," Shanks asked Minato.

“The Iwa ninja agreed to pay three layers of compensation because they also suffered heavy losses in this battle. They lost thousands of people to the previous Raikage alone, so the village’s compensation is also substantial,” Minato said.

"As expected of Onoki's favorite son, he even knows how to play the victim card. But that's really their situation. They're not as rich as Sunagakure, so they definitely won't pay much. Since Rasa has agreed to pay the full amount, let's stall him for a few more days. If it really doesn't work out, we'll just agree. Right now, the most important thing is for the ninja world to be stable." Shanks patted Minato on the shoulder. He had received ten cartloads of gifts from him, so he was just helping a friend out.

Anyway, since the Sand Village is making up for the two missing layers, it's a win-win situation no matter how you look at it. As for the Cloud Village, Hiruzen Sarutobi can't bring himself to ask them for compensation. They had already discussed it with their current strategist, but his good friend messed with them and angered them. So Hiruzen Sarutobi's message to Minato is that the Cloud Village can handle it as they see fit. If they get compensation, that's a win; if they don't, it doesn't matter, as long as the Raikage signs the agreement.

"You didn't take their side because you accepted ten truckloads of gifts, did you?" Kasper rolled his dead fish eyes at Shanks, convinced that this was the case; the middle-aged man was notoriously shameless.

"How could such thoughts arise under your white hair? Do you think I'm that kind of person?!" I'm known throughout the ninja world for my impartiality and incorruptibility!

Shanks fired a love shot at the white-haired head. When did the Hatake clan's brains start to change?

"........"

Kadian rubbed the small bump on his forehead, his dead fish eyes fixed on the middle-aged man. The more the middle-aged man acted like this, the more he felt he was getting closer to the truth.

"I'm not going to waste my breath on you guys. You can keep that yellow-skinned guy company for the next few days. I'm not coming over tomorrow either." Shanks said, and left without giving them a chance to speak.

"Haha! Brother Aoki, what a coincidence! I never imagined that in such a vast place like Konoha, we could still run into each other!" As evening fell, Shanks once again used his Observation Haki to locate Aoki Nozomi and Kotobuki in the Red Sector, leading to this chance encounter...

"Haha, yes, what a coincidence! Where is Lord Shanks headed?" Aoki and Huang Tu originally wanted to come here to repeat yesterday's story, but after seeing this person, they knew that there was no chance tonight. You'll never know how troublesome this person is until you've met him. You can't get rid of him without two carriages.

"Ah, I was planning to go have a couple of drinks with Azabu Ninety. I don't think I've ever had a drink with you before, have I? Come on... let's go have a couple of drinks." Shanks said, and without waiting for Aoki Nozomi and Huang Tu to agree, he pulled them by the hand and headed towards the Konoha Grand Hotel. Opportunities to rip off rich people are rare. He would never invite people to the Konoha Grand Hotel for drinks before, because the drinks here are really damn expensive.

"Oh! Lord Shanks, it's been a long time since you've been here." The hotel receptionist looked at Shanks with great interest. This was a big client; although he rarely came, his spending was never low!

"It's too expensive here. I can't afford to drink without someone treating me. Today I've brought two distinguished guests: the son of a top Iwagakure ninja and the son of the Second Tsuchikage, the greatest ninja in Iwagakure. Take us to the private room." Shanks said as he led Aoki Nozomi and Kou Tsuchi away.

"Alright, please follow me, gentlemen!" The lobby manager's eyes lit up when he heard Shanks' introduction. He was indeed a big client. With Shanks' drinking capacity, the commission from this one round would be enough for several years of his salary.

"Let me tell you, this Konoha Grand Hotel is another holy place in Konoha after the Red Bronze Zone. As long as you can afford it, you can have everything you need for food, drinks and entertainment. This is the kind of place for two people of your status to come to. Moreover, the service is excellent, the staff are polite, and the staff are of high quality. I guarantee you'll be satisfied tonight!" Shanks gave the two who were still struggling a knowing look.

Seeing his gaze, the two stopped struggling and even felt a sense of novelty. Could there really be a place with higher standards of conduct than the Red Bronx? Was it true?

The three of them entered an incredibly luxurious private room. Without saying a word, Shanks ordered all the most expensive drinks, since it wasn't his money.

"These two have been working too hard lately. Could you find them two masseuses to give them a massage?" Shanks said to the lobby manager after ordering his drinks.

"Okay, no problem. May I ask what kind of style you two prefer?" The lobby manager looked at the two men who looked like country bumpkins looking around the private room.

"Ahem! I prefer someone gentler and younger." Aoki Nozomi coughed twice to ease the awkwardness.

"Uh, older ones, but not too old," Huang Tu added.

Shanks looked at the two of them strangely, not expecting them to have such unique tastes. One liked older men dating younger women, and the other was truly worthy of being taught by Onoki, even their hobbies were exactly the same.

But... she's a legitimate massage therapist, aren't you two being a bit too despicable?

"Aren't you overthinking this? He's a licensed massage therapist. I felt a little guilty towards you, so I brought you here to help you relax and rejuvenate." After the lobby manager left, Shanks looked at the two of them speechlessly.

"Uh... I'm getting old, I can't handle much force, a gentler touch is more suitable for me." Aoki Nozomi tried to explain, but inwardly she was cursing, "You didn't explain clearly, and didn't you know that look you gave me before you came in was easy to misunderstand!"

"Older is better, experienced masters have more experience," Huang Tu said seriously.

"...Come on! Let's have a drink while Master isn't here. This is the hotel's signature all-around tonic. After drinking it, you'll feel your blood rushing to your head. Combined with Master's massage techniques, I guarantee you'll be full of energy again tomorrow to fight all the heroes in the Red Bronx!" Shanks looked at the two of them with that same look in his eyes.

"..."

The two men took the glasses speechlessly. Could you please stop giving me that look?!

"Don't doubt it, just try it and you'll see. I, Shanks, never lie." Shanks assumed the two didn't believe him.

338. Sending off an idol

The two men drank their glasses of wine with some skepticism, and it really worked. As soon as the wine went down their throats, they felt their blood boiling and they couldn't wait to find someone to have a three-hundred-round battle with.

"I wasn't lying to you, was I? This not only promotes blood circulation, but it can also help regulate your digestive system and relieve constipation!" Shanks raised his eyebrows and looked at the two of them.

"Gurgle..."

As soon as Shanks finished speaking, their stomachs rumbled, and both of them clutched their stomachs and looked toward the toilet.

"Don't worry, this hotel is very considerate. They even have several toilets. You can switch to another one if you don't feel comfortable with any of them," Shanks said with a smile.

As soon as Shanks finished speaking, the two of them disappeared from the spot, and the sound of a torrent of diarrhea came from the toilet.

Shanks was also disgusted. He had only heard Jiraiya mention that this shop offered this kind of service, but he had never experienced it himself. Since there were two people who could help him experience it, he decided to let them try it. Shanks packed up all the drinks he had just ordered and took them away, leaving the two people struggling in the toilet in the private room.

"Lord Shanks left so soon?" The lobby manager had just brought the two experienced chefs when he saw Shanks leave through the door.

"Ah, take the two masters inside. They're big shots. If you provide good service, the bill won't be small." Shanks raised an eyebrow at the lobby manager and gave him a wink. Go all out to rip him off! If you can get those two floors back, I'll give you an award.

Lobby Manager: Understood! Mission accomplished!

.........

After Shanks left the Konoha Hotel, he was about to head to his best friend's house when he was caught by the Anbu. Hiruzen Sarutobi needed to speak with him.

"What's going on so late? I just finished entertaining Aoki Nozomi and my nephew!" Shanks arrived at the Hokage's office, where his best friend was also present.

"Kakashi just sent me a message that his teammate Rin Haruno has been kidnapped, and he's already gone out of the village to look for her." Sakumo Hatake handed the note to Shanks.

"Who...who is so arrogant as to dare to masturbate people in Konoha?" Shanks said, feigning anger.

He knew in his heart that Uncle Ban had made his move. It seemed that Uncle Ban's time was running out, and he wanted to take this opportunity to send off his idol and ask him if he had any unfulfilled wishes.

"We don't know yet, but the fact that someone could sneak into Konoha and kidnap someone without anyone noticing is quite something," Hiruzen Sarutobi said after taking a few puffs of his pipe. This is a crucial time for peace talks, and if anything goes wrong, the ninja world will be thrown into chaos again.

"I'll go out and look for him. Kakashi has my Flying Thunder God seal on him." Shanks said, then closed his eyes to find the coordinates.

↑←↓→↑←↓→↓→!

"boom!"

The next second Shanks appeared above Kaspersky and, without Kaspersky noticing, delivered a powerful downward throw.

"Haha! Sorry! It's been a while since I used this skill, I'm a bit rusty." Shanks sat on Kakashi's lap and chuckled, scratching the back of his head.

"...When did you mark me?" Kadian lay on the ground, his eyes rolling like a dead fish.

"Don't worry about the details, the main thing now is to find your female fans." Shanks helped Cardinal up.

"The scent fades after we get here, and Parker is looking for her," Kadian said gravely. His only remaining friend is Lynn, whom he promised to protect, and now he doesn't even know who kidnapped her.

"I told you that French sports car was unreliable. Why did you have to sign that useless summoning beast?" Shanks pouted when he heard Parker's name.

"You're useless! I'm a sensory genius dog, the best of the best!" A small figure appeared at Shanks' feet with a whoosh and started biting his feet.

"...Even the best of dogs is still a dog! Get away, I didn't get a rabies vaccine." Shanks kicked the puppy that was frantically chewing on his foot and threw it into Kaspersky's arms.

"Have you found Parker?" Kadian asked, holding Parker in his arms.

“Found it. Because it’s been so long, the smell has faded a bit, but luckily one of them was smoking, so the smell is quite strong.” Parker looked at Shanks triumphantly.

"...I'm too lazy to argue with a dog." Shanks was speechless. This incident taught us never to smoke before doing something bad... Those guys on TV with cigarettes are just showing off; they're also the ones most likely to get caught.

The two chased after a dog, and the longer they chased, the more Shanks felt something was wrong; the surrounding environment seemed unchanged.

"Oh no! Kakashi, stop! We're under a genjutsu!" Shanks activated his Conqueror's Haki to break the genjutsu and shouted to Kakashi.

However, it was of no use. Once Kakashi, who possessed the Sharingan, was drawn into a genjutsu, it would be strange if he didn't develop the Mangekyou Sharingan. Kakashi seemed not to hear Shanks' words and continued chasing forward.

"Idol! Come out and chat! I know you're about to die, let me, your fan, see you off!" Shanks didn't switch to chasing Kakashi. With Madara here, it would be troublesome for Kakashi to stay. Anyway, Obito was destined to evolve, and there was no way to stop him.

"Hehe! You even managed to break the illusion of the kaleidoscope. You're truly remarkable. If you were born in the Warring States period, you would definitely have a place in the world." Old Man Ban emerged from a large tree, dragging his frail body.

"Wow! My idol actually praised me like that, I'm so happy! But... idol, how come you've aged so much again? Can you still summon the Blue Giant? The massage you gave me last time was really nice, can I have it again?" Shanks teased, looking at the elderly, truly deadly Ban.

"Hmph! You sharp-tongued brat! One day I'll sew your mouth shut." Old Man True Hanging Life Madara snorted coldly, controlling his anger.

"Then you'd better hurry! I'm already so old, it wouldn't be good to wait until I can't fight anymore before having a final battle with you at my peak! People will say that Madara, the Asura of the Ninja World, is bullying an old man!" Shanks started his teasing mode.

"Die! Fire Release: Great Fire Annihilation!" Madara's tendency to tolerate death is incompatible with his arrogant and domineering personality.

A B-rank ninjutsu comparable to a Super S-rank was spat out of Madara's mouth. Shanks really wanted to bring Itachi and Shisui over to learn from them. This is the true power of your Uchiha Fire Release. What's the use of playing so many fancy tricks!

"Wow! This feels so good. Idol, could you heat this up a bit? It's a little cold." Shanks, channeling his Armament Haki, continued to tease his idol. In the Naruto world, teasing anyone else is more satisfying than teasing Madara.

Black Zetsu, watching from afar, shook his head. His promise not to interfere after they emerged was clearly a load of rubbish. They'd forgotten he was about to die just because they were called idols a few times. At this rate, he wouldn't even have a chance to give Obito his final instructions!

339. Idol, you've evolved!

"Damn it! Fire Release: Dragon Flame Song Technique!" While Black Zetsu was still speechless, Madara had already exploded with anger. To fulfill his little fan's wish, several more enormous fire dragons rushed towards Shanks.

"Boom boom boom!"

After a cataclysmic disaster, the forest where the two were located had been reduced to scorched earth, with only Shanks, his own jet-black body, standing in the center with his arms crossed.

"Hey, idol, don't get so angry! Look at the forest you've burned! This is causing soil erosion and affecting the ecological balance. The First Hokage is no longer here. Do you know how difficult it is to reforest? Idol! You've really disappointed me. Where has that bright, ambitious idol gone?" Shanks's incessant nagging assaulted Madara's eardrums.

"Ah! Shut up!" Grandpa Ban felt like he was going crazy. Who talks so long-windedly? If you're going to fight, then fight. Why keep babbling on and on?

"Okay, idol! Hello idol! Goodbye idol!" Shanks instantly appeared in front of Madara and delivered a basic attack to the spiky-haired man's head! He was afraid of killing Madara with his skill. If he died without even finishing his last wishes, how could he face the respect he had shown his idol for so many years?

"boom!"

Although he didn't use any special skills, his punch still managed to give Old Man Ban a big bump on the head.

"Hey! Idol, you've evolved! You've even grown horns on your head!" Shanks said, feigning surprise.

"Huh? Damn it! Ah... Go to hell!" Madara initially thought this annoying little fan was surprised, but after scratching his head, he realized he'd been teased again. He was furious, his mind filled with rage. Once upon a time, he, the arrogant and domineering Uchiha Madara, had been teased like this. Even Hashirama Senju didn't dare to tease him like this, and now he was being teased by a brat. Madara was already preparing to summon the Blue Giant to give him a final showdown.

"Lord Madara! Bear with it this time. Next time you reach your peak, come back and beat him to a pulp. We're not far from our plan now. White Zetsu has sent word that our plan has succeeded and Obito has awakened." Just as Madara was summoning the Blue Giant, Black Zetsu appeared beside him, earnestly trying to persuade him. The plan had come this far, and he absolutely did not want anything to go wrong.

"Hmph! Let this damned brat live a few more years!" Madara only remembered his plan after being reminded by Black Zetsu. He calmed down immediately, gave Shanks a cold look, and then disappeared underground.

"Hey! Idol, don't go! You haven't signed anything yet!" Shanks called out to Madara after he disappeared underground. He really wanted Madara's autograph. He had too many autographs from Hashirama and Tobirama, but Madara's autograph was the real treasure. Maybe he could sell it for a good price in the future!

It's possible that Mr. Ban is handsome but has terrible handwriting and never signs his name, so the plan to auction off his autograph has fallen through.

Shanks activated his Observation Haki after leaving the barren land and traveled several hundred miles to find Kaden unconscious under a large tree. Rin, the World King, beside him was lifeless, and that useless French sports car had long since sped away. Shanks couldn't sense the Three-Tails' aura on her either; he knew it.

He knew it! No one in the ninja world had ever played with the Tailed Beasts in front of Shanks. Madara couldn't possibly be unaware of this. Besides, he already controlled the Three-Tails Jinchuriki; how could he possibly take the Three-Tails out? Madara doesn't have "idiot" written on his chin.

If it's an illusion, then it makes sense. After all, Kakashi knows that tailed beasts are like children in front of Shanks, and how much damage they could do in Konoha.

"Hey! Kakashi, why aren't you wearing pants?" Shanks' eyes darted around, and he whispered something in Kakashi's ear.

"Ok?"

As soon as Shanks finished speaking, Kakashi immediately opened his eyes, his hand still on his lower body to check if he was wearing pants. He could indeed tell that he wasn't wearing pants, and that this middle-aged man had discovered it.