Konoha Drunkard

"Do you remember that kid who came out of Orochimaru's lab? He was taken away by Danzo's Root when he was in the hospital, and today the Anbu discovered that he had awakened Wood Release." Although Hiruzen Sarutobi tried to control his emotions, you could still tell from his voice that he was quite agitated.

That's Wood Release! Although Konoha is very strong now, it still lacks their signature. What is their signature? It's the Wood Release of Hashirama Senju, that old goofball! That kind of ninjutsu that can create an entire forest with a single move is the true symbol of Konoha. I never expected Orochimaru to actually bring it to life. How could he not be excited?

"Impossible, right? Orochimaru said that without the massive amount of Yang Release chakra like the First Hokage, it's impossible to awaken Wood Release." Shanks said, feigning surprise, but secretly chuckled to himself. He wondered what Hiruzen Sarutobi's expression would be when he found out that real estate tycoon Yamato's Wood Release was only good for building houses and had mediocre combat abilities.

382. Shanks can still fight.

“It’s absolutely true. I’ve already sent Sakumo with men to bring him back.” Hiruzen Sarutobi nodded.

"Would your good friend agree to this? Those are the people he's been killing." Shanks gave him a disdainful look. Shanks felt sorry for his brother Danzo. He thought he could hide it from his good friend, but in fact, his best friend knew everything he was doing. He just waited for his best friend to develop his skills before he came out to collect kills. Danzo was far from mastering this kind of "King of Kings" style.

"No matter what, Wood Release is always the symbol of Konoha, and it's not suitable for it to remain with Root," Hiruzen Sarutobi said righteously, puffing on his pipe.

Shanks looked at Hiruzen Sarutobi's righteous demeanor and thought his acting was superb. No wonder director Kishimoto arranged for him to die at Orochimaru's hands. He was so despicable. He bullied Danzo for decades, and sure enough, he didn't get his comeuppance in the end.

"Lord Third Hokage, Danzo's advisor refuses to give it to us. The minister sent me here to ask you how to resolve this." At this moment, an Anbu member approached Hiruzen Sarutobi and said.

"See? I told you. With your friend's bad temper, unless you go and get him yourself, Sakumo won't go unless it's really going to get started." Shanks shrugged after hearing what the Anbu said. How could they let you take away the pseudo-divine artifact that they went through so much trouble to create so easily?

"...I'll go take a look. Wood Release absolutely cannot remain in Root." Hiruzen Sarutobi took a few puffs of his cigarette. Although he felt bad for his best friend, for the sake of Konoha, he would sell his wife if he could, let alone his best friend.

Shanks admires Hiruzen Sarutobi for this very reason. Although the old man is often indecisive as he gets older, when it comes to matters concerning the village, he is definitely an outstanding Hokage.

Shanks pursed his lips as he watched Hiruzen Sarutobi and the Anbu leave. What was there to argue about with a flawed version of Wood Release? If he had the technique his idol possessed, he could have as many as he wanted. After Hashirama Senju died, all the authentic Wood Release techniques that appeared in the ninja world were created by Madara.

Not long after, the second male lead's father arrived with his mother and Itachi. Although he didn't interact much with Minato, the second male lead's mother and Kushina were best friends, which surprised Shanks. The second male lead's mother was gentle and virtuous, and shouldn't have been able to get along with a tomboy like Kushina. But they just inexplicably became best friends, just like their son in the future. Fate is truly wonderful.

"The Uchiha clan leader hasn't changed at all; he still carries a dictionary with him at all times," Shanks remarked, seeing Itachi carrying a gift list as thick as a dictionary.

"What, regretting not ripping off more people back then?" Xiaochun's voice came from behind, with his beloved godson Zhishui by his side.

"What are you saying? Haruko and I are not young anymore, and we will retire in a few years. Itachi is my disciple and the successor of the Uchiha clan. There is nothing wrong with a disciple taking care of his teacher in his old age. How can this be called a trap?" Shanks said shamelessly.

"Hehe, you're the most money-making person in the ninja world. Do you need someone to support you?" Koharu Utatane seemed to be looking at him. This person was mischievous as a child, caused trouble everywhere in his youth, and now that he's middle-aged, he hasn't become any more restrained. His daughter is already married, but he's still the same as before.

"Hey, you people only see my gains, but don't you see my sacrifices? Just Tsunade and Garp, those two gambling addicts, have already paid a heavy price for me." Shanks felt a pang of heartache when he talked about his own team. Two gambling addicts are not easy to support. Tsunade alone has already supported half of the gamblers in the Land of Fire. Now, with Garp, who is clearly trying to overtake them, they simply don't know what money is. The 50 billion kyats he swindled from the Daimyo every year are not enough for them to operate for half a year. Recently, things have been going missing from the Senju warehouse from time to time, and it's definitely the two of them who did it. Ever since the last time they brought Tu Xing to infiltrate, Ichigo has had a barrier set up outside the warehouse. Only their own people can get in.

"hehe."

Koharu, mimicking Shanks' usual disdainful tone, gave him two "heh heh"s.

"By the way, Shisui, you should be graduating by now, right? Staying in school for too long isn't good for you. After graduation, go straight to the Anbu. Mentioning my name, Shanks, will definitely work." Seeing Shisui's youthful appearance, Shanks finally remembered that he still had a decades-long promise with his older brother, Kagami, that he hadn't fulfilled. Those kaleidoscopes had almost turned black from being soaked in formaldehyde. If this kid didn't open his eyes soon, who knew if Kagami's eyes would still be usable.

Although I don't know if I can activate the Eternal Kaleidoscope by using an elder's eyes, since it's possible between brothers, it should be fine for grandparents and grandchildren, after all, there's a blood relationship involved.

"I'm also planning to apply to the teacher next month, but does Lord Shanks think it's appropriate for me to join the Anbu?" Shisui knew the relationship between the Uchiha clan and his family very well. He was in a rather awkward position as the middleman. First of all, he was raised by Koharu Utatane since she was a child, and their relationship was like that of a grandfather and grandson. However, he was also a member of the Uchiha clan, and his father's brother also gave him ideological education every day. He told Shisui everything without any concealment. The Anbu was the Hokage's direct department, which was equivalent to the center of power. He was afraid that the three elders would come to bother him.

"What's so good or bad about it? Your grandpa Shanks can still fight! Those three dare to talk back? Let them come find me. I could beat their fathers back then, and I can beat them back now. I'm not the Uchiha clan leader, I don't tolerate them." Shanks said disdainfully. According to Shanks, this second male lead's father was overthinking things. So what if there were three elders? In the ninja world, it's about who has the strongest strength, not who has the highest status. They've already awakened the Mangekyou Sharingan, why should they tolerate these three little brats? If it were him, the Uchiha clan would have been unified long ago. Maybe the Uchiha's strength would be damaged at first, but in the long run, at least they would be on the same side as the Hokage and wouldn't be wiped out, right? Just look at the Hyuga clan, their future daughter is the Crown Princess, the number one powerful clan in Konoha after the Uchiha.

It's a pity he had God's perspective but wasn't born into the Uchiha clan. After all, Madara was his idol...

“Shanks is right, Shisui, you should join the Anbu after you graduate.” Koharu Utatane agreed with Shanks this time. Shisui was wasting his time at school, and according to the Uchiha clan’s rules, all clan members who graduated or turned twelve had to join their security department. This was something Koharu Utatane didn’t want to see. She didn’t want her godson to hang out with a bunch of Uchiha who looked down on people every day.

383. Surely the Nine-Headed Serpent wouldn't be peeking?

Since even his godmother had said so, Shisui had no choice but to agree.

Koharu Utatane had ulterior motives in getting her godson into the Anbu. Her godson had refused to listen to her back then, insisting on joining the Uchiha clan, only to die on the battlefield with no one to protect him. Now the ninja world was at peace, but who knew how long that peace would last? This time, she absolutely refused to let her godson associate with the Uchiha. Joining the Anbu was much better; with Sakumo Hatake protecting him, even if Sakumo Hatake was honest, he wouldn't let her godson do anything too dangerous. Protecting her godson's life was the priority. She had given up hope of anything else, like making the Uchiha and the village a loving family.

Her old flame had worked hard for half her life, and her godson had worked hard for more than ten years while he was alive, but in the end she was still stuck in the same place. If she could, she really wished that the Uchiha clan didn't exist.

......

"Cousin Kurama! Today is your wedding day. You've been around for so many years, and you've never experienced anything like this before, have you?" Shanks teased the Nine-Tails inside Kushina's belly.

"..." Kurama, lying inside Kushina's stomach, pretended not to hear the bastard's words. It patiently waited, waiting for the bastard to become too weak to fight back before it could do its dirty work on him.

"Uncle, what do you think... if Minato and I... Kurama won't peek at us at night?" Kushina whispered to Shanks. She was usually carefree and had never thought about this. It would be so embarrassing to find out that she was carrying a thousand-year-old monster on her wedding day.

"...This...you'll have to ask Kurama. How could I possibly know? You've learned so many sealing techniques, didn't you ever seal it away in a dark room?" Shanks rolled his eyes. How could he know such a question? Back then, he also wanted to ask Mito and Hashirama Senju if Kurama knew about the ellipsis, but he didn't ask for fear of being beaten.

"But there's no such sealing technique!" Kushina said in frustration.

"Then you'll have to ask Kurama. Look at its stubbornness; it ignores me when I try to talk to it." Shanks shrugged. If Kurama really was peeping... then it would be the progenitor, which would make Jiraiya way more awesome.

"I know you guys are no fools! I'm not that bored!" Kurama, who had originally planned to ignore Shanks, couldn't stand it anymore when he heard the two uncles and nephews questioning its beastly nature.

Kushina was someone it had watched grow up since she was a cub. Although she was a tailed beast, who said tailed beasts had no feelings? Kushina was like its daughter. Even though she had been sealed away for so many years, they got along quite well. It wasn't going to be so bored as to do something like this.

As for Mito Uzumaki and Hashirama Senju... if it weren't afraid of being beaten to a pulp by Hashirama Senju, it might actually steal a glance.

"Kurama said he wasn't that bored." Kushina breathed a sigh of relief when she heard the angry sound coming from her stomach.

"hehe!"

Shanks chuckled dismissively. He was probably afraid of getting beaten to a pulp. Hashirama Senju's sensory abilities back then weren't a joke. Asura's chakra reincarnation—who knows how much of its power was actually realized? Just like Madara, who was also an Asura reincarnation—did everyone think only his Mangekyou Sharingan was powerful? How did he develop that awesome Fire Release technique? Even if the Uchiha clan mastered the Fire Release techniques perfectly, they couldn't possibly have that much power.

As evening approached, the ceremony officially began. As an old and established family, the Uzumaki clan's ceremony was notoriously long and tedious, and it was presided over by Ichiji, a man over fifty years old. Needless to say, since Minato was a commoner, the ceremony was conducted according to the Uzumaki clan's rules, and even the children's surname would be Uzumaki.

"Jiraiya, when are you planning to leave?" Shanks asked Jiraiya, his breath reeking of alcohol, while they were drinking that night.

"In a couple of days, I've had the Anbu gather some information about Orochimaru in the ninja world. It all shows that Orochimaru appeared in the Land of Birds, so I want to go there and take a look." Jiraiya was still a little drunk, but he immediately sobered up when he talked about his good buddy.

"Really! Why would a great scientist go to the Land of Birds for no reason?" Shanks casually replied. Snake was indeed an intelligence expert; he knew the methods of the Dark Side very well. Deceiving so many people was too easy. Sakumo, who knew some of the inside information, wouldn't actually send an old bird to investigate Snake. So, he would just send a few rookies to investigate. Snake was currently fighting for his dream in the Land of Rain; he didn't have time to go to the Land of Birds. And what would he do there? Play with birds... Snake didn't have such a vulgar hobby.

"I'm going to bring this bastard back no matter what," Jiraiya muttered to himself before taking a big gulp of sake.

Tonight, Shanks didn't drink himself to death like he usually does. Instead, just like his son-in-law, he secretly found a corner to sit back and relax. Based on his decades of experience, he knew that he should never drink with Minato.

These ordinary people treat alcohol as alcohol, while Minato drinks it like a beverage. Even if he had the guts, he wouldn't have the capacity. Look at how several tables of people were drunk by Minato, and he was still walking with the wind on his feet, very steadily, without even blushing. Shanks was extremely jealous of Minato's skill. If he had that skill, the Uchiha and Hyuga's sake cellars would be ruined by him.

.......

"Father, Shikaku and I are going back first," Big Mom said to Shanks, supporting the limp Minato.

"After all these years of training, your alcohol tolerance is still so low. I can sneak a sip tonight." Shanks said shamelessly, his face flushed.

"..." Although Chongtianpao was paralyzed, he was still awake. Hearing his father-in-law's shameless words, if he weren't too weak to speak, he would have definitely given his father-in-law a strangulation with his shadow. Even if he couldn't beat him, he would have done it. He had never seen anyone so shameless. If he hadn't shielded this shameless father-in-law from drinking tonight, he wouldn't be so drunk. And this bastard actually dared to say such sarcastic things.

"Alright, forget about your father. You should go back with Shikaku first," Haruko said to her daughter after circling Shanks' waist with her hand.

When Hiruzen Sarutobi arrived that evening with Sakumo, Shanks could tell from the smile on Hiruzen's face that his best friend Danzo had been robbed again.

"So, how's the Wood Release boy doing?" Shanks asked his friend.

"...It is indeed Wood Release, but it's a little... different." Hatake Sakumo said strangely. Although he had never seen the First Hokage's Wood Release, his father had talked to him a lot about the power of the First Hokage's Wood Release back then. As for that boy's Wood Release, to be honest, he really couldn't see how powerful it could be. It was just a pile of rotten wood.

"So, that boy's Wood Release was pretty bad?" Shanks asked, feigning curiosity.

"...Perhaps it's just temporary." Hatake Sakumo's words were unclear, whether he was answering his friend's question or comforting himself. Tonight, he had truly fallen out with Danzo because of that boy. If the boy didn't perform well, he would have offended that cunning Danzo for nothing.

384. Shikamaru has taken shape.

"My dear daughter, this is the soup your mother made for you early this morning. Drink it while it's hot. Look around here, is this a place for a pregnant woman to live? Come back to the Thousand Hands territory with me to rest and prepare for childbirth. We'll come back after the baby is born." Shanks said to Big Mom, the Yonko with a slightly protruding belly, at Skyrocket's house.

Six months after Minato's marriage, thanks to Shanks' relentless efforts, Shikamaru, the laziest member of the Nara clan with the highest IQ, finally took shape. During this time, Shanks changed his usual habit of sleeping until noon. He would wait for Haruko to finish making soup and then bring it to Big Mom. Moreover, he repeatedly advised Big Mom to return to the Senju clan's territory to rest during her pregnancy. It wasn't that the Nara clan was bad, but the Ino-Shika-Cho trio together were a major force in Konoha. However, if separated, they were just three small clans. Furthermore, the Nara clan was known for its lazy nature. Even Danzo avoided them. If they recruited a Nara clan member into Root, wouldn't that be like bringing a rich man back to Root? And who knows if they could even outmaneuver them? They would have to guard against them plotting to usurp the throne every day. That would be exhausting.

It was just the two of them, Big Mom and the Four Emperors, at the Hokage's house. Usually, only one or two Nara clan members who had married into the family would come to visit and take care of her, and even then, it wasn't a frequent visit. As for having Big Mom take care of someone... I really don't want to think about it. As Minato, the Fourth Hokage's chief strategist, he also left early and returned late every day. Although he didn't go home every few days like Minato, which made Kushina resentful, there were too many things to do as a Hokage. Even if there were no major events, there were always trivial matters to deal with.

This year is practically Konoha's pregnancy year. Apart from Kushina, who hasn't conceived yet, everyone else from their cohort is already pregnant. Inuzuka Tsurugi, Shizuka, and her best friend Mikoto are all pregnant with their second child, which makes Kushina extremely resentful. She regrets not letting Minato become Hokage in the first place.

Shanks, who works late into the night and then just lounges around all night, is not someone who can take care of anyone. So Shanks plans to kidnap Big Mom back to the Senju clan's territory this time, so that she can have Shizuka company and be taken care of by her clan members.

"But if Brother Shikaku comes back, there will be no one to cook for him," the Fourth Emperor's mother said hesitantly.

"He's a grown man, he won't starve! Besides, you're pregnant now, you can't overwork yourself. You have to think about the baby in your belly. Look at your mother, she was a pampered old lady at home every day when she was pregnant with you, and that's how you became so beautiful." Shanks advised. This guy is making a pregnant woman take care of him, it's ridiculous. Shanks plans to go to the Hokage Building to confront him tomorrow.

"Then I'll tell him tonight, and I'll go over tomorrow." Big Mom hesitated for a long time, but in the end, the baby Shikamaru in her belly was more important.

"Don't talk nonsense. I'll go find him later and have him send you over. I thought you'd be more assertive after marrying a lazybones like him, but it turns out he's pushing you into a fire pit. I should have married Inoichi instead. Look at how well his wife takes care of him when she's pregnant. I heard he even took a year of paternity leave from Minato!" There's no harm without comparison. Shanks originally had his eye on Yamanaka Inoichi; that kind of scholarly man seemed like the kind who would love his wife. But Big Mom, one of the Four Emperors, fell for that lazy bum, Skyrocket. What a tragedy.

Look at him, as soon as he heard that his wife was pregnant, he stopped going to the interrogation department of the secret service, found a clansman to take over, and immediately went to Minato to ask for a year-long leave. It's easy to get things done if you have someone in the court, not to mention that the person in charge is his good friend. Minato didn't even need to ask for leave, he immediately gave him a year-long leave to be with his wife.

Then look at Rocketeer. He's busy with his own things, fine, but the Nara clan is so rich, plus Shanks' dowry for his daughter, yet he's so stingy that he didn't even hire an older woman to take care of his pregnant wife. Instead, he made his mother-in-law and father-in-law take care of her. Shanks really wanted to pull out his big deadwood and stab him twice.

"Shikaku-nii is the Hokage's assistant, how can that be the same?" Big Mom, one of the Four Emperors, spoke up for her husband.

"How is it different? Haiyi is still the head of the interrogation department, but he still sent his clansmen to take his place. If he doesn't send you here tonight, I'll grab my weapon and go beat him up." Shanks looked fierce, which earned him a glare from his daughter.

Having a father like that is a double-edged sword; there's always the risk of becoming a widow.

..........

"Oh! Lord Shanks, you've brought soup to Linlin again."

"Yeah, my precious daughter is pregnant and can't eat much. Being a dad is really tough."

"Lord Shanks, I had someone calculate Lingling's pregnancy, and it turns out she's carrying a big, healthy boy!"

"Haha! Really? Tell that fortune teller that if Lingling gives birth to a son this time, he'll give her a big red envelope."

"Haha! I've been waiting for you to say that."

"Lord Shanks, this is a blessing that I got for Lingling, to keep her safe. Please bring Lingling with you tomorrow."

"Grandma Nakamura, there don't seem to be any shrines in Konoha, right? Where did you get one?"

"Of course there is! Isn't there a shrine over there on the Uchiha side?"

"...Grandma Nakamura, next time we go to that place. I heard that place is very evil, and that if you pray there too much, you'll attract evil spirits."

Shanks stared at the iconic large palm-leaf fan pendant in his hand... Damn it, when did his daughter start asking the Uchiha ancestors for protection? And what the hell is that? Their ancestral land, not a shrine! Shanks was truly impressed by Nakamura's grandmother; at her age, she dared to sneak into the Uchiha ancestral land to worship their ancestors... Were the Uchiha guards made of wood? But he couldn't refuse her hospitality, so he accepted it. He would never give it to Big Mom, one of the Four Emperors. His daughter hadn't fallen so low as to need the Uchiha's protection.

"Nonsense, I go to pray every year, and I've never seen any evil spirits summoned." Grandma Nakamura looked unconvinced.

"......"

Wow, you're pretty impressive. You manage to sneak into the Uchiha clan's ancestral lands every year. There are very few people in the ninja world with that ability. This Nakamura grandma is really on track to make a name for herself.

When Shanks returned from delivering soup to Big Mom, he was walking down the street carrying the same box. People kept coming up to greet him, and he was probably going to crack a few jokes. But the focus was all on Big Mom. Well, with Shanks' big mouth, the fact that his precious daughter was pregnant was already a sign that he was trying to keep a low profile and save Big Mom and Shikamaru some good karma.

If Onoki found out about this, given his bad temper, he'd probably start a domestic violence spree in the middle of the night again. The fact that Konoha's Shanks' grandson is actually a member of the Nara clan is a threat to the ninja world.

Konoha's Kurenai was known for being brainless or disliking to use her brain. She would either act recklessly or steer things astray. The Nara clan, on the other hand, was famous in the ninja world for their cleverness.

The combination of Shanks' genes and Nara's cunning might produce a mischievous devil.

385. Your father is sharpening a knife.

Just after dinner, Shanks took out his decades-old sword, the Deadwood, and began wiping it back and forth with a rag under the lamplight, giving off a feeling of an old man suddenly feeling young again.