Konoha Drunkard

Thinking about it carefully, he was also contributing to Konoha. After all, it was his son who brought Ice Release to Konoha, so the one who contributed the most to Konoha's development was Hiruzen Sarutobi. He really wanted Shanks to summon the Second Hokage to let him know that Hiruzen Sarutobi had not only lived up to his expectations but had also made the village so prosperous.

"No problem, feel free to browse around. I'll go talk to my best friend's daughter right now. Even if you agree, she might not be willing!" Shanks shamelessly said before bursting out the door, leaving Hiruzen Sarutobi alone in his house.

........

"Bai, come let Grandpa give you a hug."

Shanks arrived at the room he had arranged for Kawaka, and as soon as he entered, he saw Kawaka teaching Haku to walk.

"Red-haired Lord."

Minazuki Kawaka picked up Haku and greeted Shanks.

"I told you not to be so formal with 'adult,' just call me 'uncle.' How was it? Did you sleep well last night? I'll have my daughter take you to Konoha later. Our Konoha is much prettier than Kirigakure, except for the lack of sunshine and beaches," Shanks said with a smile, taking the white shirt.

"I wonder what brings Uncle here?" She had heard plenty of comments about him from the two older women Shanks had arranged to take care of her and her son since she arrived yesterday. This man was a notorious drunkard and lazybones, and she didn't believe he had nothing to do when he came over so early in the morning.

427. Failed attempt at matchmaking

"Here's the situation!... Recently, Konoha established a council to support the marriage of Konoha's young talents, and I was elected as its first president. Since you're the daughter of my sperm friend, you're practically my niece. It's not easy for you and your child to raise a child alone, so I thought about it for a long time last night and decided to introduce you to a young talent to take care of you and your child. That way, my sperm friend can rest easy in the afterlife. What do you think? Don't worry, the person I'm introducing is absolutely guaranteed to be of good character. He's known as the 'Little Minato of Konoha,' and he's also the eldest son of the Third Hokage. His character and appearance are a perfect match for you! And yesterday, I don't know where he saw you, but he seemed completely dazed. So this morning, his father, the Third Hokage, asked me to sound you out. What do you think?" Shanks patiently explained to her, but of course, he couldn't tell her the truth. Telling the truth would be too much of a blow to her already tragic past.

"How can that be? I think things are fine as they are now. There's no need to go through all that trouble." Minazuki Kawaka waved her hands repeatedly. The concept of remarriage didn't exist in her worldview. Her reputation was more important than her life, especially since she was a mother!

"But you're raising the child alone. It's easy to take care of the child now that he's young, but what will you do when he gets older? And you're still so young. How am I supposed to explain this to your father!" Shanks was about to put on a good acting performance, forcing out two tears that welled up in his eyes.

"But... I thought that as a married woman, how could I remarry?" Other things were fine, but this went against the education she had received since childhood, and she would never agree to it no matter what.

"How about this... you two meet tomorrow first, and if you still don't like us after that, then forget it." Shanks was still unwilling to give up. This was his first time playing matchmaker, and he couldn't afford to gain no experience at all, could he?

"Uncle Red-Haired, let's forget about it. I think things are fine as they are. I have Shiro, and that's enough. I'll teach him a good lesson," Minazuki Kawaka shook her head and refused.

"...Alright then, I'll turn down those three generations of old men for you." Shanks sighed. He hadn't expected that he could fool both of the man's family members, but the woman was so hard to fool.

........

"So? He's not interested?" Hiruzen Sarutobi saw Shanks return so quickly, looking so troubled, and knew Shanks wasn't interested. Although things hadn't gone through, he secretly breathed a sigh of relief. While success would have brought many benefits to him and the Sarutobi clan, it was best to avoid losing face. Actually, not having a bloodline limit wasn't so bad; even Onoki's Red Nose was a bloodline limit takedown, and he could only fly into the sky to be poked...

"Alas! I never imagined that my fellow Yonko Red-Haired Shanks, a genius with extraordinary talent and innate intelligence, would become such a leader in the education field if he switched careers to become a teacher, yet he couldn't even gain a single bit of experience on his first attempt at becoming a matchmaker." Shanks sighed to the heavens. He was a top figure in the world of con artists, but he never expected that while the Minazuki clan had a gentle personality, they could be incredibly stubborn when they wanted to be.

"In that case, I'll head back now." Hiruzen Sarutobi patted his shoulder and walked out of Shanks' house. Unlike when he arrived in a rage, he returned with effortless ease, using the Seven Star Step. He was still unaware that his youngest son was already packing his things at home, preparing to become a monk.

......

"Hey Itachi, have you forgotten your teacher since you got a little brother? It's been ages since you came to train with me." On the Hokage Rock, Shanks held a bottle of Uchiha clan sake in one hand and grilled meat in the other, eating and drinking as he went. He didn't even know what day it was; he'd just seen Hiruzen Sarutobi off, and his precious disciple, Itachi, had come to ask him to meet at the Hokage Rock.

Since the second male lead was born, this precious disciple's cultivation has become sporadic. Even when he was beating Shanks' clone, he would just complete the task as if it were a mission, and then rush back to hug his little brother.

Shanks didn't care about Itachi's attitude. He was just killing time anyway. Besides, Itachi was already far more outstanding than his peers at his age. On the night of the Nine-Tails' attack on Konoha, he didn't know what he had gone through, but he actually awakened the Sharingan. Shanks was worried sick about this. Awakening the Sharingan at such a young age is no joke. He wondered if his bloodline disease was caused by his young age and physical exhaustion. Fortunately, Tsunade examined him and found no adverse reactions, so the matter was dropped.

"Teacher, I plan to graduate early," Little Itachi said while munching on some grilled meat.

"You've only been in school for a few months, right? That's too early. It's not like we're at war. Why are you graduating so early? Wouldn't it be better to just stay in school and enjoy your childhood? Look at Shisui, he spent several years in school back then," Shanks said.

“But I always feel like I’m not learning anything at school, and I also want to become a ninja as soon as possible and protect Konoha with everyone,” Itachi said.

"I see!... If you think it's right, then do it. I have no problem with that. After all, Kakashi graduated at five, and you're only six, so you're not exactly number one. But you know that if you're too young, even after graduating, you'll have to spend many years doing low-level missions in Konoha. You should think this through carefully," Shanks said. Back then, Obito was tricked into graduating by him and ended up doing odd jobs for several years. Thinking about it now, he really felt a little guilty towards Obito.

"I've made up my mind. Since you've agreed, I'll go and ask Takenaka-sensei for permission tomorrow." Itachi finished off the grilled meat in his hand in no time.

"Then you're in for a tough time, young boy! Being a ninja isn't easy, especially for a young one. Good luck! The peace of the ninja world depends on you."

Shanks handed him the half-eaten piece of grilled meat, rubbing Itachi's head with his greasy hands. Once it has an idea, it will resolutely pursue it—a common trait among gifted youths. You can't persuade them otherwise; they only realize how naive their decisions were after suffering the consequences. Although Itachi's thinking is quite mature, even a straightforward guy like Kakashi couldn't stand it. Whether Itachi can persevere for a year is still unknown. Konoha doesn't need such underage ninjas doing dangerous things right now. Although doing so might seem like raising them in a greenhouse, it also prevents these gifted youths from falling into ruin. Behind the seemingly peaceful surface of the ninja world, the ANBU of various villages are constantly engaged in fierce conflict!

428. Everyone has a gossipy heart.

"Asuma, the youngest son of the Third Hokage, the one who always has a cigarette in his mouth like a hooligan, yes, yes! The one with a big beard even before he was an adult, I heard that yesterday the Third Hokage tried to introduce him to a girl from the Shimura clan, but he didn't want to, and then he had a big fight with the Third Hokage."

"No way, the youngest son of the third generation is so ugly, could it be that he was rejected and is too embarrassed to admit it?"

"Really? But I heard that the Third Master wanted his eldest son, Midori-sama, to marry into the Shimura clan, but the Shimura girl was just too ugly, so Midori-sama naturally disagreed and they argued. Later, his youngest son, the one with the big beard who was underage, stood up for his older brother and also argued with the Third Master. Then, for some reason, the youngest son ran away from home."

"........."

"Asuma, are you really planning to become a Guardian Ninja for the Daimyo?" Green-skinned Guy asked reluctantly at the entrance of Konoha Village. Don't let Asuma's usual arrogant and cocky demeanor fool you; he's actually quite popular. When they heard that Asuma was going to go out and cause trouble, not only Green-skinned Guy, but all his friends came to see him.

After having a last supper with his mother at home, Asuma picked up his backpack and went to the entrance of Konoha Village early the next morning.

Konoha's paparazzi are rampant; nothing can be hidden from their noses. Just the day before yesterday, Shanks brought back Minazuki Kawaka and Haku, and yesterday the village was already spreading rumors that their Red-Haired Lord had brought back a mistress and an illegitimate child to confront Haruko-sama... If Haruko-sama hadn't been spending these past two days with her grandson at Big Mom's place, their Red-Haired Lord would probably still be kneeling on durians right now...!

Shanks really wanted to drag the paparazzi who leaked this information out and beat him up, and make him taste what it's like to kneel on durians. Did they think he, Shanks, one of the Four Emperors, was afraid of his wife?! This was damaging his reputation among the villagers.

Returning to the topic of the Sarutobi family, even gossip about a retired man like Shanks is being reported, so the Sarutobi Hiruzen family, as the center of Konoha's gossip, is even more so. There are paparazzi staking out the house 24 hours a day, and many people saw Asuma storming out of the house yesterday.

"Yes! The Hokage has already given a letter of recommendation." Asuma's mental state was somewhat unwell.

"Haha, a good man should have ambitions beyond his hometown. Asuma, you've finally grown up. All my years of dedicated education have paid off. When you see the daimyo, remember to give him my regards and settle Tsunade's alimony payment for this year." Shanks patted Asuma's shoulder with heartfelt satisfaction.

"........."

Asma looks up at the sky. I ran away from home because of you, you old bastard, and now you're here making sarcastic remarks! And... God the hell you taught me! My success has absolutely nothing to do with you!

"Asuma, go in peace! We'll take care of the village! We'll do our part to protect it too." Asuma's most loyal henchman, Ebisu, was in tears. With his ordinary talent, he had been able to live so freely in Konoha for so many years only because Asuma, the eldest son of a powerful family, was protecting him. Now that his boss was leaving, he could foresee his suffering was about to begin.

"......"

Asuma knew Ebisu meant it from the bottom of his heart, but his words still sounded awkward. Asuma turned to look at the girl with the colored contact lenses who had given him the gift, opened his mouth as if to say something, but ultimately remained silent. A true man never looks back, carrying his backpack.

"Sigh! This kid's finally grown up. By the way, Shinnosuke, where's your dad? His son's gone out to make his way in the world, and he didn't even come to see him off. That's outrageous!" Shanks sighed before asking the little green sprout. "You know, Hiruzen Sarutobi is really something. Fathers and sons don't hold grudges overnight. He not only kicked his son out, but he didn't even come to see him off. I guess being Hokage for so long has made him too proud to leave."

"Father is probably still angry, but he'll be fine in a couple of days," Little Green Seedling said.

"What's there to be angry about? Your brother's decision to go out and make a living shows he's mature enough. He should be happy. But speaking of which, there are so many versions of the story in the village. What exactly caused their argument?" Shanks asked with a gossipy look. There were so many versions in the village that Shanks didn't know which one to believe.

"Haha, Uncle Shanks, I have something to do, so I'll head back now. We can talk again later." Although Little Green Sprout is easy to fool... he still understands the saying "don't wash your dirty linen in public." His father and brother's farce has already spread throughout Konoha. If he tells this guy the truth, with his big mouth, there will only be more versions tomorrow.

"Tch! Fine, don't tell me then. What's the big deal? Do you really think I won't know just because you don't tell me?" Shanks pouted, watching the little green seedling's hurried retreating figure. (Anyone know about Observation Haki?)

"Kakashi, when are you and Kurenai getting married? This can't be delayed any longer. Your old man's about to retire, you should at least give him a grandson to train with, so he won't be bored at home at his age." Now that Asuma has become a monk, Shanks plans to have Kakashi and the girl with the colored contacts get married while he's away. By the time Asuma comes back in a few years, the kid will be calling him uncle, and it'll be too late then... Although Asuma might not be killed by Kakuzu and the Immortal Man because of him, well, Kakashi's dad is Shanks' best buddy, so good things should always be given to his own people!

"...Let's talk about it in a few years. Lord Shinku just passed away." The girl with the colored contacts blushed crimson at Shanks' question, clutching her clothes and remaining silent. Kakashi had no choice but to speak, though. Kakashi was a complete idiot when it came to matters of the heart. Although he had read many of Jiraiya's books, he only truly appreciated Jiraiya's writing style; he couldn't remember anything from the past few years. And every time Shanks talked about his relationship with the girl with the colored contacts, he got a headache. He didn't even know what love was; his feelings for the girl were still at the stage of childhood play.

"Wait a few more years? Red, your old man dreamed of you getting married back then! Too bad... sigh! I think you two should just fulfill your old man's wish as soon as possible!" Shanks was too lazy to pay attention to this straightforward man. He'd been saying it for over ten years, and Cardcaptor Sakura was still the same old guy. He might as well do the job with the girl with the colored contact lenses. His failed matchmaking attempt yesterday left him with no experience points, so now he could only do the Cardcaptor Sakura and the girl with the colored contact lenses side quest.

429. Fortunately, Minato didn't encounter the Uchiha clan back then.

"Lady Haruko, you've finally decided to come back! I thought you'd abandoned me, your true love, after having a grandson! Your husband here has been eating takeout for days." After dropping Asuma off, Shanks returned home to find Lady Haruko sitting in the living room, holding Shikamaru in her arms.

He had originally planned to find someone to drink with, but it turned out there were very few people he could drink with. Sakumo was working in the Anbu and didn't have time to drink with him, two members of Konoha's "gambling, prostitution, and drug gang" had already left, and as for Tsunade... she'd rather spend her time gambling! His in-law, the old firecracker, started taking care of his health after retiring and didn't touch a drop of alcohol.

He used to have Shinku Yuhi to drink and joke around with, but now that Shinku's gone, he really doesn't know who to drink and joke with anymore. Suddenly, he realizes there are hardly any people left in the village who are his contemporaries. As for Hiruzen Sarutobi, he's out of the question; he doesn't want people saying he's bullying an old man. With no other option, Shanks has to head home.

"Didn't you bring back a young lady and her illegitimate child? How come the young lady can't cook?" Haruko teased.

"Come on! She's my best friend's daughter, and we've been married for decades. Don't you know your man? Do you think I'm that kind of man? Besides, if I were to secretly bring this young lady back to confront you, wouldn't the villagers come lining my door with rotten gourds and vegetables? You know, your reputation in Konoha is even higher than that of Minato, the Hokage!" Shanks flattered her before casually sitting down next to her and pinching Shikamaru's tender little face.

"Stop talking nonsense! Sigh! She's really pitiful. I thought the ninja world would be more peaceful after the war, but I never expected something like this to happen in Kirigakure." Haruko sighed, swatting Shanks' hand away. She had heard Shanks mention Kirigakure from Big Mom. As for the rumors in the village, she just took them with a grain of salt. As the vice-director of Konoha Hospital, she knew that battles between villages were inevitable. Although there were some conflicts between villages after the previous ninja wars, they were relatively minor skirmishes. Internal strife between villages was something she had never seen before. This incident in Kirigakure almost shattered her worldview. The Kage of her own village wanted to wipe out her village's clan, and not just one. How much hatred must there be?

"Where there are people, there is hatred. Fighting and killing are normal in this world. Maybe that Mizukage was bullied by those clans' scions when he was young. Fortune changes every thirty years, and you shouldn't underestimate a young man's potential. Now that he's grown up, of course he has to fight back. It's a good thing that Minato didn't run into the Uchiha clan when he was young. If he had been bullied by three worthless bastards like you, Konoha wouldn't be doing so well now." Shanks said gloatingly. Obito was really projecting the hatred of Rin onto Kirigakure.

"By the way, tomorrow you take Lingling to show her and her son around Konoha. I really didn't realize she was so stubborn, just like my best friend. I couldn't sway her even if I tried several times. I was even thinking of introducing her to Shinnosuke, and both Shinnosuke and the Third Hokage agreed, but she absolutely refused. She insisted on taking care of a little kid all by herself. I feel a bit guilty for letting my best friend down." Shanks grumbled, mainly because his first time acting as a matchmaker had been a huge waste of breath, and he hadn't gained any experience at all.

"You're just making trouble out of nothing. I've never heard of anyone having a child and then marrying someone else. Isn't that damaging to one's reputation? Don't bring it up again. The Third Hokage and Shinnosuke agreed out of pity. Since they don't agree, that's fine." Haruko rolled her eyes. She was used to this middle-aged man's wildly imaginative ideas, but others weren't. Having a child and then remarrying—wasn't that breaking with tradition? It would be strange if they agreed.

"Alright, alright, but seriously, their Minazuki genes are really strong. If that kid hadn't been dressed in a way that revealed his gender, you really wouldn't have been able to tell. And look at your grandson, he looks like a rocket from every angle, not like Lingling at all." Shanks looked at Shikamaru with disdain and pouted.

As expected, Kishimoto, the Great Emperor, didn't let him off the hook. When Shikamaru was first born, it was indeed hard to tell who he resembled. Shanks initially thought that Big Mom's genes were N+1 times stronger than Ronin's, and Shikamaru should inherit those traits, at least surpassing the original character in appearance. However, as the days went by, Shikamaru's appearance gradually resembled the original. If it weren't for his immense life force, Shanks would have suspected that Ronin had fathered a random random person.

"How can you talk like that about your own grandson? You should ask Lu Jiu and Lingling to have a few more for you. Maybe you'll give birth to some beautiful ones." Haruko said with amusement. The man in front of her was already middle-aged, yet he still acted like he wanted to have children.

"I hope so."

Shanks should pad his shoulders; he really doesn't think the chances of pregnancy in the ninja world are high. It's just that Kishimoto's level is too low; his world can't hold that many people. Look at Oda's level; there are people everywhere in One Piece, and you can bump into pirate crews and marines anywhere...

"Oh right, I almost forgot the important matter. My teacher came to see me today. Shisui left the village with his team a month ago and hasn't returned yet. The Anbu are also sending people to look for him. My teacher wants me to ask you, the red-haired lady of Konoha, to go and look for him as well. My teacher is extremely worried." Haruko said seriously.

"...You mean Shisui has disappeared?" Shanks asked in surprise. This completely baffled Shanks. While Shisui's current strength wasn't at the pinnacle of the technical style, he was still a solid Jonin, especially after he fused Body Flicker Technique with Genjutsu—his skills were ridiculously impressive. Two or three Jonin usually couldn't handle him. If he wanted to escape, very few in the ninja world could catch him, and those who could were all well-known figures. Such a flamboyant young man had disappeared? Could it be that Kishimoto, the Great Emperor, rewrote the script?

"That must be it. Apparently, the bodies of two of the Shisui Squad members were found at the border, which is why the teacher is in such a hurry. Why don't you go look for them tomorrow?" Haruko-sama said.

"Understood. But since we only found his two teammates and not him, I guess he's probably injured and hiding to recover! Maybe he's survived this ordeal and will be blessed with good fortune later," Shanks comforted him.

430. The Evolution of Still Water

Shanks actually guessed Shisui's situation correctly, but he only guessed the beginning and not the end.

A month ago, Shisui's squad, which was making waves in the ANBU, received a mission: an object suspected to be the Five-Tails Jinchuriki was discovered on the border, and his squad was sent to investigate.

The Jinchuriki of each village are weapons of war, and generally they cannot leave their villages. Even the best-performing Jinchuriki in Kumogakure cannot leave the village unless the Raikage leaves. Therefore, Zixiao did not take the news too seriously. After all, there have been false rumors before. Moreover, the intelligence also said that the object suspected to be the Five-Tails Jinchuriki could also be some kind of ferocious beast. So Zixiao sent Shisui and his team to investigate. After all, this team included Shisui and a captain, both of whom were Jonin-level elites, so the investigation was definitely reliable.

But to their utter dismay, when Shisui and his team arrived at the location, they discovered that the object suspected to be the Five-Tails Jinchuriki was indeed the Five-Tails Jinchuriki, and to make matters worse, they encountered the Tailed Beast going berserk.

The captain of Shisui's squad, whether he had Uchiha blood or not, was even more Uchiha-like than Shisui himself, incredibly arrogant. When they discovered the Five-Tails was rampaging, Shisui advised this captain, who was suspected of having Uchiha blood, to return to the village and call for backup. After all, there were four of them in total: besides him and the squad leader, who were both Jonin, there were two other team members whose legs were already weak. However, the captain looked at the rampaging tailed beast and firmly said no.

He had seen the Nine-Tails go berserk before; that was a real catastrophe. In the end, they were all smashed to pieces by their Shanks. Although the Five-Tails is also a tailed beast, it has four tails less than the Nine-Tails. Just by looking at the scene of its berserk rampage, you can tell that it's incomparable.

And their Red-Haired Lord is a Jonin in the village, he's a Jonin too! Although he admits he can't beat the Nine-Tails as badly as the Red-Haired Lord, he should be able to handle the Five-Tails! Besides, they have two other Jonin here!

If they, with their combined strength of four, manage to defeat the rampaging Five-Tails and subdue it, then hand it over to the village... this is a Tailed Beast, a war machine! Wouldn't he be treated as a hero upon returning to the village? He'd reach the pinnacle of his life, and might even be recommended as a Hokage candidate!

The captain became more and more excited, completely ignoring Shisui's advice. He took out his kunai with high morale, shouted "Kill the chickens!" at the two weak-legged team members and Shisui, and then led the charge.

As a sage once said, idiocy combined with self-confidence can often lead a person to risk their life. Such a person will either rise to the top and become a big shot, or become cannon fodder.

Shisui's captain was clearly a high-ranking player with the heart of a cannon fodder. He had just rushed up to the Five-Tails with a kunai, thrown it away, and was about to form hand seals when the Five-Tails, despite its enormous size, swiftly whipped his tail, sending him flying into the air. The Five-Tails then opened and closed its mouth in one fluid motion, and the captain, destined to be cannon fodder, didn't even have a chance to show off before being swallowed by the Five-Tails.

Shisui, who witnessed the whole thing, was furious. Although his captain was a bit arrogant, ever since he joined the Anbu and was assigned to his squad, his captain had always taken good care of him, making him realize that Konoha was a place full of love. The rumors about bullying newcomers and making them pour tea, water, and soap were utter nonsense.

And this kind captain who cared for him so much and made him understand that everyone in Konoha was loving was swallowed up by the Five-Tails with a single slap!

Shisui clenched his fists tightly, and his original black pupils turned into one tomoe, two tomoe, three tomoe. In any case, his Sharingan kept spinning wildly. Just as the Five-Tails was about to rush in front of him, his Sharingan stopped at the three tomoe.

Even though Shisui's Sharingan evolved to three tomoe due to his heartbreak, the gap was still significant with his two weak-kneed teammates. To protect his two teammates, Shisui used a new Body Flicker Technique that combined Body Flicker Technique and Genjutsu to play hit-and-run with the Five-Tails. He would occasionally flicker to the Five-Tails' back or head and fire a small fireball, infuriating the Five-Tails. The fireballs didn't hurt, but being burned by a tiny human every now and then, especially with its fur being burned here and there like a Dalmatian, was unbearable for the Five-Tails.

While Shisui was buying time for his two teammates with Yuto the Five-Tails, his teammates were so stunned by the battle between Shisui and the Five-Tails that they forgot to run away. By the time they realized what was happening, Shisui was already exhausted.

Even after evolving to the three-tomoe form, he's still a Jonin, though stronger than before. However, fighting a prolonged battle with a Tailed Beast... he's not a tough guy like Shanks; Shanks is a technical expert, okay?

So Shisui was exhausted. Just as the Five-Tails was about to swallow the exhausted Shisui, Shisui's two teammates, who had forgotten to run away, finally overcame their fear and picked up a large rock from the ground, throwing it at the Five-Tails' big head... Suddenly, a small rock pressed against their faces! It! Such an expensive tailed beast was actually slapped in the face! The Five-Tails became even angrier, its two fiery eyes looking at Shisui's two teammates who had been weak in the knees.

The gap in strength between the two sides was too great. Even if the two teammates performed exceptionally well, it was of little use. They helped Shisui buy some time but also sacrificed their young lives.