Konoha Drunkard

"Look! Lord Red-Haired Shanks is out!"

"Red-haired Lord!"

"Lord Shanks!"

"Red-haired sir, will the auction you mentioned still take place?"

"Yes, Red-Haired Lord, we've been waiting here for a long time, please sell us one!"

As soon as Shanks arrived at the door, the group of people there started chattering away. The main reason was that Tsunade had just said she wouldn't sell the Second Hokage's calligraphy and paintings, which made some people back down. After all, Tsunade, one of the Legendary Sannin, was not someone to be trifled with, and it was best to appreciate the calligraphy and paintings only if you were alive. However, many people still planned to wait a little longer, in case Lady Tsunade was moved by their sincerity.

The calligraphy and painting in the hands of the Fire Country merchant has already been offered for a high price of 300 million. It is estimated that the price will continue to rise in the future. After all, calligraphy and paintings related to ninjutsu are the most representative, and this can be regarded as a representative work of the Second Hokage.

"Ahem! Ahem! Quiet down, everyone! As a descendant of the Second Hokage, Tsunade's reluctance to auction off his works stems from filial piety. However, considering everyone's sincerity, Tsunade has agreed to put one more representative work by the Second Hokage up for auction. This is a one-time opportunity. As you all know, the Second Hokage has been dead for decades, and even our Senju clan doesn't have many works preserved. It's like selling one less piece. Enough with the chit-chat, I'll show you the work. You can only look, not touch, to avoid damaging it." After Shanks finished speaking, he had two Uzumaki clan members open the work he had brought and place it in front of the group.

"First, let me introduce this artwork. This is the original version of the Konoha Fluid Technique, developed by the Second Hokage for the village's ordinary ninjas in the early years of Konoha's founding. The current Konoha Fluid Technique is an update based on this original version. You could say that the significance of this artwork far exceeds its price. Furthermore, the detailed explanatory text next to the artwork shows how much effort the Second Hokage put into developing this taijutsu for all ages and genders in Konoha. But of course, these aren't the main points. The main point is, as you can see, that this artwork features the Second Hokage himself." "A signature in his own handwriting! This is quite rare. The previous work, the Twelve Hand Seals, was also by the Second Hokage, but it didn't have his signature. What does that mean? It means that the Second Hokage's signature is extremely rare! Looking at the powerful and vigorous strokes, only a life of military service and a spirit that can conquer mountains and rivers could produce such calligraphy. Now we can begin the bidding, starting at 100 million, with a minimum bid of 20 million. Everyone can bid now." Shanks instantly transformed into an auctioneer, enthusiastically praising Tobirama Senju's work, even though he himself was disgusted to the point of vomiting. But it was all for the money! He could endure it; it would pass.

"...I never imagined Shanks had changed so much over the years. Not only has his education improved, but his eloquence has also become better." After catching up with his disciple in the distance, while the corpse was still usable, Tobirama Senju came out to check the situation and casually see what price his "masterpiece" could fetch.

Artists, even if they don't talk about money, believe that the more they sell, the better their work is.

After listening to Shanks's lavish praise, Tobirama Senju felt gratified. Look how skillfully he put it! He described fighting and killing as a life of military exploits, and ruthlessness as overwhelming power. These are the kinds of adjectives one would come up with after reading a lot of books.

It's true that children from poor families mature early. The eldest brother's approach back then seemed pretty good, and compared to the second and third generation Uchiha clan members, it was quite wise and capable.

Tobirama Senju's praise of Shanks instantly silenced the heavyweight beside him...

"That's because you haven't known him for long... He's definitely doing this to get a better price."

"Teacher... while there's still time, could you please leave me one of your masterpieces so I can contemplate it every day?"

At this moment, Mitokado Homura, who had been just passing by, couldn't hold back any longer. During their reminiscing earlier, none of his three friends had spoken, and he was too embarrassed to speak up either. Now that the time for the Edo Tensei was almost up, if he didn't speak up soon, he would have to pay Shanks, that bastard, to buy it. He was born a commoner, and although he had been an advisor for decades, his foundation was too weak, and he was afraid that Shanks would rip him off.

While Tobirama Senju is in a good mood now, he might even write something auspicious to encourage him to have a child.

"Oh? You want Men Yan too? I didn't know you were so knowledgeable about art."

Tobirama Senju looked at Homura Mitokado with surprise. This disciple had always been a quiet, unassuming person by his side since childhood. He never expected that this quiet person would appreciate art.

"Uh... I know a little bit about it. I study it when I have free time."

Mitokado Homura couldn't help but blush after speaking. He didn't have Hiruzen Sarutobi's thick skin to spout nonsense with a straight face, but he couldn't exactly say that someone's work could increase the chances of conception while he wanted a child...

The three close friends are one thing; they grew up together and know each other inside and out. He can't bring himself to say it in front of a group of younger people. What if Karin asks him, "Grandpa Mito, why do I call you Grandpa? Uncle Mito is younger than me..." How will he ever be able to stay in Konoha? All the carefully cultivated persona he's built up over the years will crumble instantly.

"Alright, it's rare for you to come back today. Who knows when you'll be back again? None of you four should give me a piece of calligraphy or painting, right? By the way, Men Yan, what kind of calligraphy do you want?"

Seeing the four disciples looking at him with longing eyes, Senju didn't dare to refuse. He had already written so much, so writing a few more wouldn't matter.

"Um... I'll just write 'May you have a son soon'!"

"........."

..........

"Three hundred and twenty million, good! This Nakamura has now offered three hundred and twenty million. Is there anyone else making a bid? This Mr. Nakamura is clearly a master calligrapher, he knows his stuff! He understands the value of the second generation's work."

"Three hundred and twenty million, anyone else making an offer? Three hundred and twenty million per bid..."

"Three hundred and thirty million!"

"Three hundred and thirty million! This dignified old gentleman is asking for three hundred and thirty million. He knows his stuff, doesn't he? A second-generation scion's signature is rare indeed. Buy it, display it, and maybe it'll even bring him a long and healthy life! Three hundred and thirty million! Anything higher?"

"Three hundred and forty million!"

"Three hundred and forty million! Three hundred and forty million! This lord from the Land of Iron, you are clearly a battlefield general! Your demeanor is a perfect match for this calligraphy and painting!"

"Three hundred and fifty million!"

"Three hundred and fifty million! This handsome young man..."

"Three hundred and sixty million!"

"Three hundred and sixty million! This beautiful and charming lady..."

533. Luckily, the teacher left early.

The auction continued under Shanks' passionate direction. Every time a bid was placed, he would rave about it to the bidders. Although everyone knew that Shanks was just trying to get them to raise the price, they still enjoyed listening to him. Besides, most of the bidders were nobles from various countries, who didn't care about a few hundred million. Being praised by the famous Shanks of Konoha was something they could brag about for decades!

Since they enjoyed listening, Shanks, seeing people constantly raising the price, bragged even more. He figured he could just have a couple of good drinks afterward to make up for the drool; money was more important. Don't be fooled by his ability to swindle billions or even tens of billions, making it seem like the money in the Naruto world is better than before. How many times can he actually pull off such big deals? In his decades in the Hokage, he'd only done it three or four times. A typical S-rank mission only yields a little over 100 million, and the village deducts its fees, leaving him with only tens of millions. And are S-rank missions really that easy to complete? In Konoha, only Minato, Shanks, Tsunade, and Sakumo Hatake dare to single-handedly take on an S-rank mission; everyone else needs a team.

The bounty for completing a mission in a team is even lower, especially since it involves risking one's life. Unless you're a wealthy daimyo or their wife traveling to another country, the bounty is much higher, making it an S-rank mission. These are the most popular types of missions, but you have to wait in line to accept them, as everyone wants one, and there's always a first-come, first-served system.

Shanks studied the current situation in various countries and villages and estimated that it would be difficult to do those big businesses worth tens or hundreds of billions in the future. Just look at Kakuzu. For decades, he has been running all over the world for a few million or tens of millions.

He earns ten million each time just by talking, which is much more comfortable than Kakuzu's job. It's just a waste of breath. He even thinks that this type of auction should be held more often. So many valuable items in the Thousand Hands warehouse are gathering dust; they're just decorations. It's better to put them up for auction, which is both classy and profitable.

"Five hundred and fifty million!"

"Wow! This young general from the Iron Kingdom has quite the presence. I knew I wasn't wrong; your demeanor is a perfect match for this artwork!"

Shanks grinned from ear to ear. He didn't recognize this person from the Land of Iron at all. He only knew one person from the Land of Iron: Mifune. Judging from this man's attire, he was probably some second or third-generation noble from the Land of Iron. Because Mifune, the leader of the Land of Iron, was on good terms with Hiruzen Sarutobi, the nobles of the Land of Iron often came to Konoha for tourism. So, those young people were either the sons of the shogun or the daughters of ministers. However, to spend over 500 million bounties like this meant he was either Mifune's child or a relative. Ordinary second-generation nobles from the Land of Iron wouldn't have this kind of spending, unless he was Mifune's illegitimate son...

"But this young man really does look a bit like Mifune. I've never heard of Mifune having a son. Could he be an illegitimate child...?"

香克斯开始幻想起来，一位离家在外历练的武士在历练中遇到了抢到的魔鬼，一开始被魔鬼揍的很惨，身负重伤，索性最后逃了出来，在养伤的过程中遇见了让他心动的妹子，然后......再然后.....他有所奇遇实力大进最终干掉了魔鬼，而这时候他家人跑来找他，说他老爹快挂了，让他赶紧回去继承家业，不然家都要被他的几个兄弟给拆了，他本打算回家继承家业之后再回来接他心爱的人跟孩子，谁知道家里情况复杂，这一去就是十几二十年，当他在回去的时候伊人已逝，只留下一个他们已经长大成人的孩子...等等。

Shanks thought about it more and more and it seemed very possible. Although this kind of plot was terrible, it often happened in reality. However, Mifune was still loyal and righteous, and he would still look for people after so many years. In reality, there are too many people who become strangers after returning home.

For example... there's Tsunade's uncle, the Fire Country Daimyo, and the former Wind Country Daimyo. As for the Daimyo of other countries, he wasn't too sure and couldn't be certain.

These two daimyo were notorious for their rivalry, as the ninja world was a hunting ground for them. They were sworn enemies from three lifetimes, always comparing themselves to each other. Even the former daimyo of the Land of Wind, whose wealth couldn't compare to the Land of Fire's wealth, considered competing with him in the number of children, but ultimately gave up due to health issues. However, during those years, many more children in the ninja world were born without fathers; several members of Danzo's Root organization bore a striking resemblance to the daimyo...

Back at the auction, the young man, suspected to be Mifune's favorite son, had just raised the price to 550 million when a plump noblewoman winked at Shanks and raised the price to 600 million, then sat and waited for Shanks to praise her beauty.

Is Shanks really that kind of person without principles...?

"This beautiful lady is asking for 600 million! Alas! But the Second Generation Lord died young. If he knew that such a charming lady like you appreciated his work so much, he would be very moved! Your unparalleled beauty paired with the Second Generation Lord's extraordinary heroism would be a match made in heaven!"

What principles matter? They're nothing in the face of 600 million. We can always pick them up again later.

"......"

The Uzumaki clan members around Shanks all took a step back, indicating that they did not know this person, how they got here, and what they were doing here.

"puff!"

"...Thank goodness the teacher is gone..."

The four giants of Konoha, who had just sent Tobirama Senju away, came out to see Shanks selling their teacher out of everything for 600 million. They couldn't help but realize that their teacher had left early. Otherwise, if he had seen this, he would have wished that the heavens hadn't given him 500 years so he could have killed this bastard!

"My great-uncle is so embarrassing..."

Karin, nestled in Haruko's arms, covered her face with her little hands and complained.

"...You'll get used to it in a few years."

Garp told his sister that he was used to it, and that if his great-uncle ever treated money like dirt, it would truly be the end of the world.

The four giants of Konoha left satisfied with the masterpieces that Tobirama Senju had given them. Since they had achieved their goal, there was no point in them staying there and listening to Shanks boast about them, especially since they weren't even being praised. They might as well go back and enshrine their teacher's masterpieces.

Shanks' auction proceeded smoothly. In the end, the original version of Tobirama Senju's Konoha Taijutsu style was bought by several calligraphy masters for a staggering 1.8 billion. This made many people regret not bringing more money with them when they left home. Unlike those calligraphy masters, they bought the calligraphy for their own personal enjoyment, while the latter bought it for collective study. Therefore, they couldn't join forces with others, otherwise, the ownership would be difficult to determine.

534. The Savior and Erzhuzi

"Hey! Isn't this Naruto? What happened to your bruised and swollen face again? Did you lose another fight and ask Haku to avenge you?"

"Haha! I think it's that guy who lost to Itachi's brother in a fight, what was his name again... oh right, Uchiha Sasuke."

"Haha! When will you be able to win once or twice and make us happy?"

Inside the Senju clan's territory, four-year-old Naruto, with a bruised and swollen face, ran into the Senju clan's territory and was harassed by a group of delinquent Uzumaki youths. They had seen this scene countless times in the past six months, from being shocked at the beginning to getting used to it. At first, they were shocked that Naruto, as a member of the clan, had been beaten up in Konoha. Who was so bold as to dare to hit even the crown prince?

However, it's quite normal for ordinary kids to fight outside Konoha. But for the Hokage's son to get into a fight and get beaten up badly is quite sensational. The news that the Hokage's son and the second prince of the Uchiha clan were fighting over a little girl, and that the Hokage's son went to challenge the second prince to a fight, only to be badly beaten, spread like wildfire.

For a time, Naruto's fame in Konoha surpassed even that of his Hokage father. However, the price he paid was not only being beaten up by the second prince of the Uchiha clan, but also receiving a brutal beating from Kushina when he returned home. Minato, the Hokage who was high and mighty in the village but lowly at home, could only watch his son being beaten up and pretend not to see it. Each time, he would turn around, go into the kitchen, grab a cleaver... and start chopping vegetables and cooking! He used a lavish meal to soothe his son's wounded heart.

As for why Kushina beat up Naruto, it's quite simple. Women are strange creatures. Although she and Mikoto are best friends, she has a competitive streak. Her best friend's eldest son is a super genius who is famous throughout the ninja world. Her son can't keep up with her in time, but it's a bit too much that he can't even beat her best friend's youngest son. She and Minato are both people with exceptional talent, but their son is just so disappointing. How could she, with her explosive temper, possibly stand it?

"What's going on? Who got hammered again? Oh, whose child is this little panda? What's it doing here? Haha!"

Just as Naruto was still seething with anger, Shanks's teasing voice came from behind.

Kishimoto's schemes are truly profound. Shanks originally thought that because of his existence, Minato didn't die, Kurama was split into three, Naruto was no longer the orphan he was in the original story, and Kurama wasn't causing trouble in Naruto's stomach anymore. Given that Naruto perfectly inherited Kushina's talents, he shouldn't be such a loser anymore.

Unfortunately, although he had parents, Shanks forgot that it wasn't Minato, a kind father, who educated Naruto. Moreover, Kushina had such a bad temper, just like Tsunade trained Garp. How could a child raised by Kushina with such a bad temper be good?

They share the same fiery temper, and most importantly, aside from the blond hair he inherited from Minato, Naruto completely evaded all of Minato's perfect genes with his incredibly skillful footwork. In short, the better Minato was, the worse Naruto was! And the worst of the worst!

He acts without thinking, has only average ninjutsu talent, and even his aesthetic sense is completely different from Minato's.

He could have made a living with his body, but he insisted on showing off his skills... During a trip to the Senju clan's territory with Kushina, he happened to see Haku practicing ninjutsu and was captivated by Haku's various beautiful techniques. Upon returning home, he demanded that Kushina teach him ninjutsu. Kushina was initially relieved, thinking her son had finally achieved something. To ensure her son received the best education, Kushina ordered Minato to bring back the Scroll of Sealing Techniques so her son could choose two powerful forbidden techniques...

As a result, forget about forbidden techniques, even a simple hairdryer technique took Naruto a week to learn before he could barely manage to blow out non-carbon dioxide...

Not to mention Kushina, even Minato has given up hope. It seems his son didn't inherit his physique. However, his son inherited the Uzumaki clan's physique, which is quite good. So he thought about teaching his son some taijutsu. But Naruto, who was attracted by Haku's beautiful ninjutsu, could never appreciate the unglamorous taijutsu. He always just went through the motions.

His aesthetic sense is also quite unique. Just like in the original work, he actually likes Sakura Haruno, who has a broad forehead. Once, when Naruto and Shikaku were playing ninja games in Konoha Park, he glanced at the pink-haired girl in the crowd and fell in love at first sight. Unfortunately, the girl was not interested in him. She liked the second prince of the Uchiha clan. But it's not surprising. Because of Kurama, Naruto's three hairs on his face made his face, which did not inherit his parents' handsome and beautiful features, look... ordinary.

Sasuke is different. The Uchiha clan is known for its handsome men and beautiful women, and Sasuke happened to inherit his mother Mikoto's looks. He's not as devilishly handsome as Haku, so it's perfectly normal for him to be secretly admired by girls.

Naruto's experience is quite similar to Danzo's, but he is different from Danzo. He didn't endure like Danzo, but went to Sasuke's house alone to have a romantic fight between men and win the girl!

Although Sasuke didn't care about girls, he couldn't stand being cornered at his doorstep. Thus, the fastest duel in history officially began. From start to finish, it took less than a second, and Sasuke perfectly defeated Naruto.

Sasuke's situation is quite different from Naruto's. With a famous older brother in the ninja world above him, the pressure on him is immense. From the age of three, he has been pestering Itachi to teach him to practice. When Itachi is not around, he goes to his father. Although his talent is not as good as Itachi's, it is not bad either. Even before he died, he was definitely a genius. How could his strength be compared to Naruto, who only practices sporadically?

However, there is one thing about Naruto that Shanks admires: when he loses, he doesn't go to his parents or complain. Instead, he goes to his older brother Haku and asks him to teach him some awesome ninjutsu or techniques so they can fight again next time.

However, Naruto and Haku are two different types of people. What Haku considers a very simple ninjutsu is more difficult than a forbidden technique for Naruto. No matter how Haku teaches him, he can't learn it. It's only because Haku has such a good personality that he has the patience to teach Naruto. If it were anyone else, they would have exploded long ago.

Besides, even if he learned it, it wouldn't be of any use. How could someone as dim-witted as him, who only crams at the last minute, possibly be a match for Erzhuzi, who trains diligently every day?

"Nonsense! That wretched old man!"

After yelling at Shanks with his face flushed red, Naruto ran off to seek comfort from his older brother, Haku.

535. Grandpa was also afraid of Grandma.

"Aunt Chuanxiang! Where's Brother Bai?"

Naruto arrived at Haku's house but didn't see Haku. Only Minazuki Kawaka was home.