Konoha Drunkard

"You should have said you wanted the photos earlier! How was I supposed to know what you were doing at my house in the middle of the night? Don't you know that disturbing someone's sleep is the most unethical thing to do, especially for someone my age who needs sleep the most? You woke me up, I'll lose at least ten days of my life. But... I have a lot of photos, whose do you want? I'll give you a 5% discount since we've known each other for a long time." Shanks said, scratching his messy hair. Actually, Obito's Observation Haki had already alerted him when he arrived at the door, but he wanted to see why Obito was so fearless and came to his house again. Was he short of money? Did he know that Shanks had recently made a few big deals and came to his house to steal money?

Thinking about it, it's actually quite possible. Although Obito has evolved, he's still human, and humans need to eat, sleep, and have fun. This expense was quite substantial. He originally just wanted to tease Obito, but he didn't expect Obito to come and steal his private stash. He almost forgot that he still had some lewd photos of Obito. Haruko-sama had even seen photos of Kakashi urinating last time. If Haruko-sama hadn't brought them out, he would have almost forgotten that he had such a large treasure trove in his treasure chest.

"Damn it, give me the photos now!"

Obito wouldn't be foolish enough to ask for his photo by name, as that would be tantamount to admitting who he was. Since Shanks considered him to be that damned Shimura Hanzo, he might as well use Shimura Hanzo's identity for once.

"Hey! Keep your voice down. My lady Haruko is still sleeping. Disturbing a woman's sleep is a serious offense. I know you want photos, but you have to tell me who you want. We can discuss the price. Different subjects have different prices! For example, Kakashi's photos are more expensive, after all, he's the heir of the Anbu and a famous copy ninja in the ninja world, so the price definitely won't be low. Because the depth of the subject matter also affects the price, for example, if it's just his face, it'll be cheaper than other places. If it's Sarutobi Asuma... out of consideration for our old acquaintance, I can give you a few for free. After all, he's just a minor character, not famous at all, and his fans are all poor guys, so there's no use for me keeping them."

Shanks introduced the products to Obito as if he were doing business.

"...How much money does Kakashi have? Besides Sarutobi Asuma, are there any other people involved? For example, some members of the Uchiha clan?"

Obito's mind started to stir. This unscrupulous vice principal was indeed unscrupulous, even selling his best friend's son for money.

"As for the Uchiha clan... there are some, but not many. There are some from Uchiha Shisui and Uchiha Itachi, but they are very expensive and not something that ordinary people can afford."

Shanks looked at you like you couldn't possibly have that much money.

"Damn it! I want the entire Uchiha clan!!"

When has Obito ever been looked down upon like this, especially by the fact that the former mastermind behind the Land of Water is poor? Are you kidding me!

As he spoke, Obito angrily threw a scroll at Shanks. He had originally planned to fight this unscrupulous vice principal, but since he could get the photos back through negotiation, that would be even better. After all, Konoha was his territory, and he had the most double-flower red sticks. It would be best to resolve things peacefully if possible.

"Wow! I didn't know you were such a hidden tycoon. Wait here, I'll go get it for you."

Shanks caught the scroll, activated his Observation Haki, and scanned it. He was surprised to find that Obito, who had been the boss of the Land of Water for a few years, was still quite wealthy.

"These are art films about the Uchiha clan. Although the Uchiha clan is known as geniuses, there are only a few who can truly catch the eye of me, Shanks, one of the Four Emperors. Over the years, there have only been Itachi Uchiha and Shisui Uchiha. They were originally one person. It's a pity. He was the ninja I had the most faith in back then, but unfortunately, he died in the Third World War. I burned his photo at his grave so that he could go to the underworld without any worries."

Shanks's sorrowful expression, as if his father had died, deeply moved Obito. Thankfully, Black Zetsu wasn't there. If Black Zetsu were, he would have warned Obito not to be fooled by this Konoha Shanks. Madara was completely deceived by his ghostly appearance back then. But Black Zetsu wasn't there, so Obito couldn't help but shed a tear of emotion beneath his mask.

It turns out there are still people in this world who remember him and care about him, and it's even the unscrupulous vice principal he used to want to beat up. Brother Obito clutches the useless photo tightly in his hand, really wanting to take off his mask, hug the vice principal's leg, and shout, "Vice Principal! I've misunderstood you all these years!"

........

Brother Daitu is gone.

Yes, Obito left just like that, and when he left, he left Shanks a scroll containing money. There was no epic fight scene as rumored, only that lonely and desolate figure.

Shanks stared blankly at the spot where Obito had disappeared, holding the scroll that Obito had tossed to him. He truly hadn't expected that Obito, who had evolved into the Destroyer of the World, was still the same simple-minded Obito, still so easily fooled. He even gave him money when he left. It seemed that Madara's help in his evolution wasn't thorough enough. His heart had turned dark, and he had become ruthless, but his life experience was still a bit lacking. The difference between him and the Obito of more than ten years later was still quite significant.

As for the artistic photos of Obito's precious disciple and Shisui, they were all rather unskilled and had little impact. Outsiders would at most just marvel at how cute these two Uchiha kids were.

Shanks wouldn't sell those insightful photos for such a small amount of money. Those photos are likely to be exhibited in museums in the future, and the ticket revenue alone would be enormous. How could he possibly sell out his precious disciple and his brother Jing's descendants for such a paltry sum?

That's absolutely impossible.

If the price were a bit higher... well, they're just kids anyway, so what if they get seen? It doesn't matter, they'll grow up and not get seen anymore.

549. It's a pity that Uncle Ban died so young.

"What's all this noise about?"

Shanks hadn't been marveling for long when Haruko woke up, but not because Obito woke her up, but because Shanks woke her up.

"It's nothing. I just dreamt that I made a big deal in my dream, and suddenly I thought of a way to make money."

Shanks grinned and said, "Brother Obito hasn't wasted these past few years. His strength isn't that great, but his wealth is much better than before. That little brat who used to bully Kakashi in the village all day had no future. He had to consider the price of anything he gave away. Now he's living the high life."

......

The shameless colleague, Obito, arrived forlornly on the edge of the mountain on the edge of Konoha. Looking down at the brightly lit Konoha below, he was deeply moved. He never expected that although he was dead in Konoha, he would live on in the hearts of some people, especially the former vice principal. He never expected that after so many years, he would still feel sorry for him.

If he had known his photos were already ruined, he deserved to have been beaten up when he sneaked into the Thousand Hands territory last time.

"Uchiha Shisui, Uchiha Itachi..."

Looking at the two photos in his hand, both showing happy smiles, neither of them was as handsome as him when he was a child. However, he had heard of both of them before. Uchiha Shisui, he had heard of him back in Konoha. Like him, he was a super genius of the Uchiha clan, now a squad leader of the Konoha Anbu, the famous Shisui of the Body Flicker Technique, who combined the Body Flicker Technique with genjutsu to develop his own unique Body Flicker Technique. However, Obito didn't have too many thoughts about this Uchiha Shisui. After all, it's not easy to fool someone whose family has inherited the love for the village for three generations. There might even be trouble from being exposed. It's better to keep a low profile for the next few years. Although many people in Konoha know of his existence, they mistake him for Shimura Hanzo, which is a good thing for him.

but...

The thought that all the reputation he gained was given to Shimura Hanzo made Obito feel like he was swallowing feces. Why did he work so hard? Just to show off his presence, and now he's just being used for free! How could Obito tolerate that? But Shimura Hanzo is truly something else. Even the White Zetsu with their countless clones couldn't find him. No wonder he's been hiding in Konoha for so many years. If the White Zetsu can't find him, then no one else can. And he hasn't appeared for so many years; nobody even knows if he's dead.

Obito looked at another photo. He had never seen Uchiha Itachi before, but he had really shone in the last Chunin Exams in Konoha. He was even more amazing than the heir of the Senju clan. After all, he had awakened the Sharingan with three tomoe at the age of 10, which made a lot of Uchiha clan members live a life of wasted potential. Although the heir of the Senju clan was also sharp, as a descendant of Senju Hashirama, it was expected that he would be strong, so there was nothing to praise. If he was as mediocre as his father, that would be headline news.

Back then, he didn't have much contact with the Uchiha clan members, let alone the clan leader's son. He only met Shisui once or twice when Shisui was shopping with Koharu Utatane on the streets of Konoha.

Moreover, when he went to the battlefield, Uchiha Itachi was probably only a two or three-year-old boy. Looking at the photo of the cute little boy, he was accepted as a disciple by the vice principal who never accepted disciples. His talent is beyond question. The fact that he awakened the three-tomoe jade at the age of 10 is proof of that.

However, Obito had some thoughts about Uchiha Itachi. Uchiha Shisui's family loved the village for three generations, but Uchiha Itachi was different. Although his father also loved the village, he still couldn't distinguish which he loved more, his thoughts weren't so firm. As the young clan leader, Uchiha Itachi was probably similar. This Uchiha Itachi was someone we could plan something about.

After thinking about all this, Obito glanced deeply toward the Uchiha clan's territory in Konoha.

"It seems there's no major problem; you'll be back safe and sound."

At this moment, Black Zetsu appeared beside Obito and said, "I originally thought that Obito would have a big fight with Shanks from Konoha. I was already prepared to run away with Obito when he got beaten up. Others may not know the strength of Shanks, but I know a lot about him. Who am I? I'm a living encyclopedia who has lived for thousands of years. Although I didn't sneak into the Senju clan with Obito just now, I've never seen any Uzumaki clan member who can't fight after fifty years old. The Uzumaki clan is a family with super huge vitality and chakra by nature, and Shanks is one of the top members. I reckon that if you want to make him unable to fight, you'd have to wait until he's as old as Madara was back then. Although Obito's strength has been steadily increasing in recent years, he's not strong enough to fight Shanks one-on-one yet."

"Things are easier than we thought, but the Uchiha haven't made any moves yet, so I can't take action against Danzo. However, I shouldn't be under Danzo's watch for too long."

Obito didn't turn his head and kept looking in the direction of the Uchiha clan.

"Huh? Aren't these Uchiha Shisui and Uchiha Itachi? How do you have photos of them?"

When Black Zetsu saw the two photos in Obito's hand, he thought they were artistic photos, but they turned out to be two now-famous Uchiha super geniuses.

"I bought them from Shanks of Konoha. He's a master at making money. I paid a high price for these two photos."

"Brother Obito said half-jokingly."

"..."

Black Zetsu didn't look at Obito; instead, he kept staring at the two photos in Obito's hand, specifically the one of Itachi Uchiha. The more he looked, the more curious he became. If he hadn't deduced from Madara's death date and Itachi's age that Itachi wasn't a reincarnation of Asura, he would have genuinely suspected that Itachi was another reincarnation of Asura. After all, this kid's talent was terrifying, even more powerful than Madara's. What does it mean to awaken three tomoe at ten years old? Even Madara wasn't that extreme. Moreover, he also had a younger brother, so he already possessed the innate conditions to evolve into the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan.

such a pity!

It's a pity Madara died young, otherwise he would definitely have been moved by this kid. Not only does he possess such powerful talent because he is the reincarnation of Shura, but his temperament is also much stronger than Obito's. If he were chosen as the spokesperson, that would be truly perfect. Compared to this kid, Obito has a supercar, what does he need a bicycle for?

550. The little green seedlings burst forth.

What do you think of Itachi Uchiha?

When Obito saw that Black Zetsu was staring at the picture of Itachi Uchiha in his hand, he couldn't help but ask Black Zetsu a question.

“His talent is exceptional; there are very few people in the history of the Uchiha clan with talent at his level,” Black Zetsu said.

"Do you think it's possible for him to become part of our plan, at least in terms of the Uchiha clan?" Obito's eyes kept darting around.

"...Then it depends on your ability. If possible, it would be even better to bring him into the Akatsuki organization." Black Zetsu nodded and said. If it weren't for Obito, he would have preferred Itachi Uchiha to become Madara's representative, which would have been truly ideal. However, there was no way to change things now. But if they could bring him into the Akatsuki, it would be a good thing for them as well.

"Let's wait and see. The Uchiha haven't made any moves yet, and Danzo can't do anything about it. We can make a good plan about Uchiha Itachi."

Obito agreed with Black Zetsu's statement, but he didn't want to pursue Shisui Uchiha. However, he could try to persuade Itachi Uchiha.

...........

The next morning, Shanks was so excited about making a big deal the night before that he couldn't sleep. As for why Obito came to Konoha, it was obvious that it wasn't just for his dirty photos; he must have been having some kind of private affair with his older brother Danzo again. But Shanks wasn't interested in any of that.

What really interested him was that someone delivered a package to his door early this morning. The deliveryman was Snake's little white snake. Snake had the little white snake deliver the current situation of the Akatsuki organization and the content of their last meeting.

To be honest, Orochimaru seems born for this job. In the movies I watched before, undercover agents always lived in constant fear, but Orochimaru was much more carefree as an undercover agent than he was in the village. Especially after learning from Miss Slug that his good brother Kakuzu was constantly upgrading Orochimaru's equipment and finding sources of experimental materials, he was like Orochimaru's agent. As long as Orochimaru gave the word, Kakuzu would take the immortal Hidan to run errands.

In addition, Orochimaru's recent research into a new drug to help Kakuzu amass wealth has made Kakuzu even more busy. The only downside is that Hiruzen Sarutobi seems to be addicted to Orochimaru's new drug, and he's constantly being asked to buy it for him.

Speaking of which, Shanks also tried some of the new drugs, but the effects of the drugs were useless on Shanks. To put it bluntly, these new drugs from Snake were just to stimulate the activity of genes, thereby temporarily enhancing some vitality. However, Shanks' vitality was too strong, and those new drugs could not stimulate him.

"Orochimaru isn't trying to corrupt his teacher, is he? Is this thing really safe?" The little white snake not only brought information but also a small sample of a newly developed drug to Shanks. His intention was clear: he said it was for his teacher, but Shanks would definitely use Hiruzen Sarutobi as a test subject.

Looking at the small bottle of pale red liquid in his hand, Shanks was still a little uneasy. If it had been a pill before, it would have been acceptable to most people. But this time it was a liquid. It was pretty, though. Snake's taste has never been low. He used a high-end glass bottle to package it, which made it look much more appealing than a pill.

However, I'm still worried about Shanks. Being a personal shopper might be profitable, but if the Third Hokage and Mitokado get sick from it, he'll be held responsible. It's a pity his older brother Danzo doesn't like this kind of medicine, otherwise I could have let him try it first...

Although the little white snake, as a summoning beast, cannot speak yet, it can understand Shanks' meaning. It shakes its little head and twists its body, meaning, "Don't worry, Lord Orochimaru has already tested it and there are no side effects. Besides, you can sell this new medicine for a higher price."

It's only because Shanks' Observation skill is so amazing that he understands what the little white snake was trying to express.

"Sogga! Go back and tell Orochimaru that Shimura Hanzo came by last night. However, I don't know what kind of business he had with Danzo. But based on the information you gave me, it should be related to the Uchiha clan. He doesn't need to worry about it. He can just continue with his research project."

"boom!"

After listening, the little white snake nodded and disappeared in a wisp of white smoke.

.........

What is this?

At that moment, Haruko walked in with a child who rolled his eyes, and saw Shanks holding a pale red bottle in a pretty glass bottle.

"This is a new drug that the old man asked me to buy for him. Let's not talk about him. He's so old but still has such a wicked heart. No wonder Little Green Sprout recently wanted to sever his father-son relationship with him."

Shanks put the bottle away and said, "It's because Orochimaru's pills have amazing effects. Although they're useless against someone like Shanks with incredible vitality, they're different for normal elderly people like Hiruzen Sarutobi and Homura Mitokado. Moreover, Orochimaru's pills don't just temporarily boost vitality; they can also, to some extent, restore their vigor and allow them to fight again. Homura Mitokado is fine; her self-control has always been strong. But Hiruzen Sarutobi is different. With his heroic nature, how could he possibly control young Hiruzen? And Biwako is getting old, so every time it's dark and windy, Hiruzen Sarutobi would disguise himself and sneak off to the Red Bronze Zone, one of the Ten Scenic Spots of Konoha. And it just so happened that last week..." One evening, Little Green Sprout had just returned from a mission outside the village with his team. Since his companion was drunk and his home was near the Red Barbarian District, Little Green Sprout took his drunken companion home. On his way back, he happened to run into his father, Sarutobi Hiruzen, who had just returned from the battlefield. Although his father was disguised, his appearance and eyes could fool others, but not his own son. Especially since there was a woman in her thirties standing next to Sarutobi Hiruzen. Seeing this, Little Green Sprout knew exactly what was going on with his father. At this moment, being a dutiful son, Little Green Sprout ultimately gave his father face and did not lose his temper on the spot. Instead, he pretended not to know him and walked home.

However, after the two returned home, Little Green Sprout, who had never lost her temper with her father before, exploded for the first time in her life. That night was incredibly exciting for the paparazzi in the shadows of Konoha. All sorts of explosive news came out of Hiruzen Sarutobi's house, and from the mouth of Little Green Sprout, who was loved by everyone in Konoha. The accuracy rate was over 95%. The most explosive news was that the Fourth Hokage and Jiraiya, one of the Legendary Sannin, were very likely the products of the Third Hokage Hiruzen Sarutobi when he was drunk.

551. The water gate and the green seedlings look quite alike.

When this news spread, the paparazzi outside just thought it was Jiraiya talking in anger and didn't take it seriously. However, one veteran paparazzi suddenly remembered that back in Konoha, there were rumors that when the Third Hokage was still unmarried, he spent his days loitering in the Red Brigade. It was said that many young women claimed to have seen the Third Hokage many times, but at the time, no one believed it. Now, thinking about Jiraiya's age, and then thinking about how Jiraiya and the Fourth Hokage, apart from their appearance, were practically identical in character and personality, and even their backs looked remarkably similar...

From that day on, Hiruzen Sarutobi became incredibly popular again, even more so than when he was Hokage. Although discussing gossip about the Hokage is not a good thing, the human heart never dies and gossip never stops. What gossip is more exciting than the Hokage family? Even the Anbu couldn't control it. Even within the Anbu, people were discussing this. Even Sakumo Hatake was helpless. Having such a former boss was the biggest stain on his life.

As for the few people at the center of the discussion, Jiraiya had left the village to study human anatomy, so it had no impact on him.

Minato, the Fourth Hokage, was a different story. Especially when he returned home, Kushina made him drip a drop of blood to the Sarutobi family for a blood test, which gave Minato an even bigger headache. The Uchiha issue was already a headache, and now it was adding insult to injury, even more painful than when Shanks flicked his forehead back then.

"No matter how you look at it, he couldn't possibly be the son of three generations of adults. Appearance? Height? Love? They're completely different!"

As soon as Minato got home from work today, Kushina started pestering him to discuss this damn topic again.

“That’s true. But Shinnosuke doesn’t look like the Third Generation at all. Uncle also said that Shinnosuke inherited Biwako-san’s looks. Besides, I also think you and Shinnosuke are really alike.”

Kushina, transforming into a famous detective, stroked her chin and analyzed.

"...That's not surprising. There are many people in the ninja world who are not related by blood but look exactly alike. We just have similar personalities." Minato came up with a reason that he could barely believe. Who knows why Shinnosuke has the same personality as him?

"Yeah! You might not be the Third Hokage's son, but that lecher Jiraiya is a different story. They're both just as lecherous, and that lecher Jiraiya has lived near the Red Bronze Ward since he was a child! Damn it! The Third Hokage is too awful! Minato, you're not allowed to have any contact with the Third Hokage from now on! If you end up like the Third Hokage, I'll cut you out!"

As Kushina continued to explain, the possibility seemed increasingly plausible. In the end, she directly sentenced Hiruzen Sarutobi to death and gave Minato a warning with a scissor-hand gesture.

"...Haha! How could I possibly do such a thing?"

Minato laughed awkwardly. Now, let alone contacting the Third Hokage, he was too busy avoiding him. The paparazzi in Konoha were truly everywhere. If he met the Third Hokage and it was rumored that they had recognized each other as father and son, that would be even more of a headache.