Konoha Drunkard

Therefore, Shanks, upholding the spirit of fair and just competition, certainly couldn't let Scorpion play such a mindless charge.

"Clang! Bang!"

"Oh, my adorable little scorpion, what happened to you? You're all stiff and unremarkable now. Who turned you into this? Tell me! I'll settle the score with them for you..."

Just as Scorpion was about to charge at his parents' puppets, Shanks appeared between them. The two swords in his parents' hands struck Shanks' back with a clanging sound. Shanks grabbed Scorpion's shoulder, tears and snot streaming down his face, as if he had lost his son...

756. It always appears only in the finale.

"Lord Shanks!"

The girl with the broad forehead exclaimed in surprise upon seeing Shanks, "Why does this guy always seem to only appear right before the finale?"

"call......."

Grandma Chiyo breathed a slight sigh of relief. The rascal had arrived, and she was relieved. She hadn't even had time to react when she saw her grandson sprinting towards the two puppets. Although her grandson had done many bad things, he was still her own flesh and blood. If she had really killed him, she would have been heartbroken...

"Little Scorpion! What's wrong with you? Say something! Who did this to you? Tell the teacher, and the teacher will take care of him for you..."

Shanks was still shaking Scorpion's shoulders violently...

"........."

The little scorpion's mind went blank! Why? Why is this bastard here? All I wanted to do was die, why is it so hard to even commit suicide...?

"Knock knock!"

"Little scorpion, say something! Are you too excited to see your teacher?"

Seeing that the little scorpion still didn't speak, Shanks tapped his wooden head with his hand.

"Bastard! Let me go..."

Scorpion finally realized what was happening. Looking at Shanks's smug face, he roared in anger and embarrassment. Every time he encountered this bastard, nothing good ever came of it. The first time, he was beaten up by him for half a year. The second time, he was hammered all over in the Land of Rain. He lost face in front of Pain and the rich Nan. This time, he couldn't even commit suicide!

"Tell me first who turned my handsome, adorable little scorpion into this grotesque state. I'll go find them and settle the score, then I'll let you go. It's outrageous! Look at this handsome face, how could anyone do such a thing! It looks so hard, it doesn't feel like anything to touch."

Shanks pinched the little scorpion as he spoke, and it really was made of wood, though he didn't know what kind of wood it was; it was quite hard...

"Bastard! Die..."

"Ding ding ding ding ding ding!"

Although Scorpion had turned into a wooden doll, his temper flared up when a stinky old man touched him in front of the two ladies. A bunch of glowing green senbon appeared out of nowhere and kept splattering skin all over Shanks' body.

"Were they... always like this?"

The girl with the broad forehead in the distance, seeing the two seemingly playfully bickering, was exasperated. Those were senbon needles coated with deadly poison! How could they look like they were just playing around? Especially after the senbon needles struck Shanks with a clanging sound before falling to the ground...

"In the past, during the six months Shanks trained Sasori, Sasori would ambush him every day using various methods. This was probably their way of interacting. Sasori only showed emotional fluctuations when facing Shanks..."

Grandma Chiyo looked at the two people in the distance and said.

"...It's just that Lord Shanks' mouth is...more powerful."

The girl with the wide forehead complained. She originally wanted to say something rather vulgar, but considering that he was her teacher's uncle, two generations older than her, she put it more tactfully.

"Little scorpion, are you... human or... what species are you now?"

Shanks released Scorpion, stroked his chin, and carefully examined him. Except for his face, which still resembled a human, his body was completely inhuman, like a puppet. Understanding this was crucial. If he wasn't considered human, the wills he signed would take effect immediately. However, if he was still human, the wills wouldn't take effect until he died. This was a difficult choice. He had already saved him; he couldn't just let him die after signing his will—he couldn't bring himself to do something so despicable…

"You bastard! What I am is none of your business, get out of my way!"

"Boom boom boom!"

Scorpion was serious this time, spraying water and fire from his two tubes at Shanks.

"Lord Shanks, watch out!"

The girl with the broad forehead was getting agitated. This was the treasure of their Konoha Village, and if it were to perish here... The girl with the broad forehead was about to raise her fist and rush to help, but was stopped by Grandma Chiyo.

"Don't worry, this guy can't be killed even by a Tailed Beast Ball, this little bit of damage won't hurt him..."

Grandma Chiyo shook her head and said, "My dear grandson's level of attack is only enough to take down ordinary humans like us. If Shanks were that easy to kill, the world would have been at peace long ago..."

"You're just playing with fire and water, that's not very impressive. I'll take you to see what real fire jutsu is like, and you'll be too embarrassed to play with fire in front of him."

Shanks, enduring the combined attack of ice and fire, shook his head in disappointment.

"You bastard, it's none of your business! Get out of my way!"

"boom!"

"You little bastard! You've got a taste for cursing, haven't you? You really think I can't do anything to you just because you're a block of wood? Tomorrow I'll sell all those artistic photos of yours, and then I'll strip you naked and parade you all over the ninja world. I really want to see if you're truly heartless. Do you think you can even die in my hands? You really think I can't handle you when I'm trying to talk to you nicely?"

After slamming the little scorpion to the ground, Shanks plopped down on him and pulled out a bunch of photos, saying...

"What...what do you want?"

Little Scorpion stared silently at the art photos waving in front of him. Even though he'd become a wooden puppet, incapable of feeling pain and unafraid of death, he still had a sense of shame. This bastard was really going to sell these photos...

"Right! Let's talk things out properly. You always look like you have a deep-seated grudge, as if someone owes you money. Here's a document. Sign it first, and then we'll talk about other things."

Shanks produced a document, furtively trying to hide it from Aunt Chiyo; it wouldn't be appropriate to try and seize someone else's family business right in front of her...

"...You despicable bastard! I'd rather die than sign! I'd give you that money even if I had to throw it into the sea."

After quickly skimming through the document, Scorpion's face remained unchanged, but his tone revealed his fury. If Shanks hadn't been sitting on him, he probably would have unleashed his final two ultimate attacks on Shanks. This bastard was too despicable, actually trying to seize his family's assets! If he signed it, wouldn't he really become a fool?

“I’m doing this for your own good. Look at Uncle Haizo and your grandmother, they’re so old, they might pass away any day. And you’re in this state now, you can’t go back to Sunagakure, and you’ll need someone to take care of you. I’ll take the loss and bring you back to Konoha. You can stay by my side, and I’ll find people to take care of you, your daily needs, and that will cost money. I have a family to support, where would I get that much money? But you’re different. You’re Aunt Chiyo and Ebizo’s only heir, and you can’t go back to the village. Giving it to me is better than letting those old guys swallow it up, right? Come on, sign it. While your grandmother is here, I’ll show it to her after you sign it…”

757. I want to cry but I can't.

"...If you really want to take care of Scorpion, I'll sign for him."

Shanks had just finished whispering when Chiyo's voice came from beside him, startling him. How come she walks so quietly...?

While Shanks was furtively pulling out the piece of paper covered in writing, Grandma Chiyo and the girl with the broad forehead were already curious. They were sure he was up to something mischievous again, but why was he being so secretive? By the time Scorpion unleashed his power, Grandma Chiyo and the girl with the broad forehead were already close enough, though they still couldn't see the contents of the document. Although Shanks spoke softly, they were all ninjas; how could they not hear him at such close range? At first, Grandma Chiyo was indeed quite angry—this guy was actually plotting against her precious grandson! But after hearing what Shanks said... That makes sense. The Sand Village's grandson is definitely not going back. Just the fact that he killed Sunagakure means that even if he returned to the village under the names of the First Kazekage and Chiyo, it wouldn't make a difference. After all, the Sand Village suffered too many losses during the Third Shinobi World War. Besides, it's hard to say whether the grandson can even take care of himself in his current state. She and her younger brother are getting old and can't control him. What if he suddenly turns on them and massacres the village? Without a powerful figure to keep him in check, it won't work. Since Shanks is willing to accept this responsibility, giving him the family fortune is fine. She doesn't have many years left anyway; consider it paying him a salary...

"Aunt Chiyo is so understanding. You know what kind of person I am, Shanks. I always keep my word. I'll take care of Scorpion's future."

Shanks patted his chest confidently, wiping away his drool. The number one family in Sunagakure... Though small in number, their wealth is immense. Not only have Grandma Chiyo and Uncle Kaizo been top figures in Sunagakure for so many years, but even before Sunagakure was established, the First Kazekage and Aunt Chiyo's families were both powerful clans in the Land of Wind... Just thinking about it made Shanks envious; this was a huge windfall...

"......"

The girl with the broad forehead, seeing Shanks's expression, covered her face and looked up at the sky; it was so damn embarrassing.

...........

After things were settled, Shanks, carrying the little scorpion that was constantly being pricked on his shoulder, chased after Naruto with Grandma Chiyo and the others.

When they found Kakashi and Naruto, they saw Naruto holding Gaara's body and crying loudly, tears streaming down his face like they were free.

"What are you doing here? Who is he...?"

Kasper asked, pointing to the little scorpion Shanks was carrying.

"Well... how should I put it? If your father hadn't done that thing back then, he could very well be your nephew..."

Shanks adopted a serious, thoughtful expression.

"........."

Kasper rolled his eyes, too lazy to even acknowledge the old bastard. "Go ahead and say that to my dad's face if you dare..."

Naruto was still wailing, and the girl with the broad forehead would occasionally try to comfort him, but it was all in vain. Finally, Shanks couldn't take it anymore and gave him a sharp whack on the back of the head, finally putting him to a peaceful, peaceful sleep. It wasn't that Shanks was heartless; having lived in the ninja world for so many years and experienced countless wars, he'd seen all sorts of heart-wrenching scenes of life and death. He'd become numb to it after a while. Besides, he wasn't even close enough to Gaara to mourn his passing...

Grandma Chiyo glanced at her beloved grandson, whose mouth was sealed on Shanks' shoulder, then at Gaara, who was already dead. As if she had made a decision, she came to Gaara's side, formed a series of rather responsible hand seals, and then pressed her hands, glowing green, against Gaara's chest.

"Hey! Aunt Chiyo, don't do anything rash..."

Shanks slapped his thigh hard. Damn it, wasn't this that damn reincarnation technique? How could he have forgotten about it?

"I'm already old and don't have many years left to live. I'll see Sasori before I die, which will be a wish fulfilled. Gaara is the next generation, so how can I watch the next generation die in vain? Shanks, for the sake of our years of friendship, I'm entrusting Sasori to you."

After taking a few more deep looks at the little scorpion, Grandma Chiyo's hand on Gaara's chest glowed greener and brighter.

"...Don't you want to say anything?"

Shanks looked at the silent little scorpion and tore off the seal from his mouth.

"Hmph! Humans are always fragile creatures; only eternity is the most perfect art!"

The little scorpion said emotionlessly.

"boom!"

"You little bastard, your grandma's almost dead, and you're still in the mood to recite poetry."

Shanks slapped Scorpion on the head, then continued to gag him. Although he couldn't quite understand what Scorpion was saying, it certainly wasn't anything nice...

..........

Aunt Chiyo is gone. In the ninja world, living to such an old age is already a happy ending. He's known Aunt Chiyo since he was nine, over forty years now. Her sudden passing is incredibly painful for Shanks, who's seen Orochimaru suffer so many setbacks. From now on, the ninja world has lost one more friend.

"Sigh! Let's take Aunt Chiyo's body back and give it to Ebizo..."

After Shanks finished speaking, he glanced at the little scorpion he was carrying on his shoulder. It still had that emotionless look on its face. However, his Observation Haki allowed him to sense the little scorpion's sadness, but he, being a wooden puppet, was unable to express it.

"Why bother? To pursue something so illusory and make yourself like this, what's the point even if you achieve your goal? If you can't even cry and make a fuss in life, what's the point of living? Well, now you can't even cry."

Shanks shook his head at the little scorpion's silent expression, then carried him back to Konoha. He simply couldn't stand the atmosphere.

..........

Shanks wasn't in the mood for leisurely strolling this time. He used the Flying Thunder God Technique to take Scorpion directly to the Hokage Building.

"Father-in-law, who is this...?"

Minato and Big Rocket in the Hokage Building were startled by Shanks' sudden appearance, especially when they saw that Shanks was carrying a... person on his shoulder? And it looked like they had seen him somewhere before.

“Sasori of the Red Sand, Aunt Chiyo’s beloved grandson. I promised Aunt Chiyo that I would look after him, so I brought him back.”

Shanks put the little scorpion down. Since Shanks had dismantled its body parts, the little scorpion could only lie on the ground and wait angrily for Shanks. It said, "You're making such nice promises, aren't you? It's all for my family's business." However, because its mouth was sealed, it couldn't say anything.

"What?! He's Sasori of the Red Sand? No way! Sensei and Kakashi should be about the same age, how could this be..."

Minato and Big Rocket watched as the young Sasori, with his youthful face, devoured a large pound of meat. Kakashi was already in his early thirties, yet Sasori still had the handsome face of a young boy. How could they not be surprised? And what was with the fact that he had no face, hands, or feet?

758. Yet another rogue ninja army

"It's a long story, but I'll keep it short. This guy's talent in puppetry is too amazing. Traditional puppetry can no longer hide his ambition, so he took a different approach and created the human puppet, a revolutionary puppetry technique. Later, in order to reach an even higher level and realize his dream of eternity, he also transformed himself into a human puppet, which is the grotesque appearance you see here. He can't speak or laugh; he relies entirely on this core to operate and produce sounds. Aunt Chiyo died trying to save Gaara. Before she died, I promised to take care of her grandson. If I left him in Sunagakure, I was afraid he would go berserk and no one would be able to control him, so I brought him back to Konoha. Do you understand now?"