Konoha Drunkard

"You old lecher..."

Haruko, her face dark, rotated her gaze 360 ​​degrees over Shanks's soft waist. After living like this for decades, how could she not have realized how audacious this bastard was, doing something like this without even checking the facts?

"Hey...."

Little Scorpion sighed as she looked at Haruko's dark face. It was a miracle that she could live to this age after marrying someone like that.

He realized that compared to that old bastard, he was infinitely more noble. At most, he could only kill the Third Kazekage, start the Third Shinobi World War ahead of schedule, and be a puppet.

That old bastard is truly shameless and has no bottom line. He can do something like this. There's no one else like him.

"Haha... I didn't know, you know. I'll just apologize next time I see Mifune, that's all. My intentions were good, after all..."

Shanks, jolted awake from his daze by Haruko-sama's gentle nudge, chuckled awkwardly, "Damn, they're all called 'Songstress,' who knew there were such distinctions..."

.........

"Hahaha! Who knew that red-haired bastard was actually a man of passion!"

Onoki was very happy during this time. On his way to the Land of Iron, he walked with a cheerful rhythm. This was because the big-mouthed red-haired bastard was finally being slandered. Thinking about how many times that bastard had tricked him over the years, Onoki felt a bittersweet feeling. It's not that retribution won't come, it's just that the time hasn't arrived yet.

"Dad, Grandpa seems really happy lately. Why does he hate the red-haired guy from Konoha so much?"

Kurotsuchi followed behind Onoki and, watching the smug Onoki, said to Hiroto, "Every time that Konoha Red Hair makes the headlines, her grandfather either shouts at the top of his lungs or walks around like he's floating."

"Well... because the Red-Haired Shanks from Konoha also did something that offended your grandfather."

Huang Tu organized his thoughts and said, "It's not really appropriate to say that your grandfather has been tricked by Konoha's Shanks too many times and has become somewhat obsessed."

"What?! Konoha's red-haired guy has such a heavy taste?"

Heitu stared at her grandfather in shock, and after hearing her father's explanation, she suddenly realized that her grandfather's gait was indeed strange; his legs seemed unable to close properly...

"It's not that the Konoha Red-Haired Man has strange tastes, it's just that your grandfather gets obsessed whenever he sees the Konoha Red-Haired Man..."

Huang Tu, unaware of his daughter's thoughts, muttered to himself that his father had been hailed as a new generation of cunning schemer ever since the Second Hokage's death. His father was indeed capable, most famously having tricked and killed the Third Raikage. However, whenever he encountered Shanks from Konoha, his father couldn't remain calm, and every time he was tricked, it was Shanks who ended up being tricked. Perhaps this was their natural counter...

.........

"Brother Kakuzu, Pain just caused a huge disturbance in Konoha. Wouldn't it be a bad idea for us to just walk over like this?"

On the outskirts of Konoha, Hidan, seemingly unkillable, hesitated. He had initially thought his older brother was planning to sneak him in. Although they had left the group, they were still infamous rogue ninjas. If Konoha discovered them, a fight was inevitable. While he wasn't afraid of Konoha's people, they outnumbered them. Even the incredibly powerful Pain was here. He knew his own limitations; he had seen so many powerful figures in the ninja world over the years. He was no longer the fearless rookie who relied on his immortality. Especially after being tortured by that masked man for so long, he knew that family might not be able to kill him, but others could certainly hurt him.

Now that his older brother is openly and honestly entering Konoha with him, isn't that just asking for trouble...?

"We've all left the group now, and we have no grudges with Konoha, so what are we afraid of? Remember this: people may bully the kind-hearted, but Heaven will not. Understand?"

Kakuzu once again acts as a mentor to Hidan, who is immortal.

"-_-??"

Hidan, who claimed he wouldn't die, looked bewildered. The words sounded awkward coming from his older brother's mouth. Shouldn't such words be spoken by those great ninja villages who spout morality and stand on the side of justice?

"Halt! You are... Holy crap! Alarm on! We've spotted the super rogue ninja Kakuzu and his unknown henchman... no! It's the immortal Hidan!"

As soon as the two entered Konoha, Kakuzu prepared to register them according to the rules. A gatekeeper was about to show off his power as the gatekeeper of the largest village in the ninja world, but when he saw who they were, he was so scared that he almost tied his tongue in knots. These two were top-ranking members of a terrorist organization. Not long ago, he had seen how powerful the leader of that organization was. He was a tough guy who could take on an entire village by himself.

"Don't be nervous, bro. We're not here to fight. Besides, we've already left the group. We're here to find Shanks from Konoha and ask him to inform him that Kakuzu and Hidan are looking for him."

When he saw that people were no longer calling him an unknown underling, but the immortal Hidan, Hidan was overjoyed and spoke to the "gatekeeper" in a friendly manner.

"...Wait...you guys wait, I'll go inform Lord Shanks!"

The other gatekeeper forced himself to keep his legs from trembling, not wanting to bring shame to the village. However, the pressure was indeed immense for these two weaklings to face two top-tier terrorists at the same time.

"What were the secret agents doing? Two such terrifying people, and they didn't even notice them at the village entrance..."

The gatekeeper cursed under his breath as he ran toward the Thousand Hands Clan's territory.

"Bounty hunter Kakuzu, Immortal Hidan, what are you doing in Konoha?"

As soon as the "gatekeeper" left, Kakashi and Asuma appeared in front of Kakuzu and Asuma with a group of Anbu. In fact, the Anbu had already spotted the two when they arrived at the outskirts of Konoha, but they didn't dare to act recklessly in front of them. They sent one person back to inform them, while the rest carefully followed them.

When Big Cannon heard that the visitors were Kakuzu and Immortal Hidan, and knowing Kakuzu's relationship with his father-in-law, he figured the fight wouldn't happen, so he sent Kakashi and Asuma to check it out.

"We've come to see Shanks about something."

Kakuzu looked at the group of wary ninjas opposite him and said helplessly, "Being too famous is also a problem. It's so troublesome to find someone."

Hidan, who seems to have no mortal gait, seems to really enjoy this treatment. It feels so good to be treated with respect wherever you go...

Unlike before, when he went to negotiate with his older brother, everyone only paid attention to his older brother and ignored him. What's worse, they even called him an unknown underling! Every time, he had to fight to get others to take him seriously. Now it's different. People no longer see him as an unknown underling. The title "Immortal Hidan" sounds pretty good.

796. In Konoha, plumpness is considered beautiful.

"Hahaha! Good brother, I didn't expect you to actually put down your weapons and leave the group. It's a rare opportunity to come to Konoha, so stay a few more days before you leave. All your expenses in Konoha are on me! Konoha has ten great tourist destinations. I'll take you to one tonight, and the remaining nine will be taken to you tomorrow."

In the super luxurious private room of the Konoha Hotel, Shanks raised an eyebrow across the corner, giving off a knowing look that every man understands.

"What holy site?"

Hidan, who couldn't die, became interested. He had been to Konoha once before, but it was a bad experience. He hadn't been back to Konoha since, and he had never heard of any of the Ten Great Holy Lands in Konoha.

"You'll see when the time comes. Tonight, let's go to Konoha's Red Bronze Zone, one of the Ten Great Holy Lands! Everyone who goes there says it's great! Silver-haired hunk, want to see it for yourself?"

Shanks glanced at Hidan, who was practically immortal. He remembered how that bastard had called him an ugly monster when he was fighting the Four-Tails and Five-Tails. Although Shanks wasn't a petty person, and had beaten him up quite a few times before, the thought still made him a little angry. He was thinking about introducing him to a dozen or so chubby ladies tonight...

"Brother Kakuzu, what kind of place is the Red Bronze Ward?"

"No way," Hidan asked, looking completely bewildered.

"puff!"

"Hey buddy, are you from Mars? You don't even know about the Bronx?"

Shanks spat out a mouthful of strong liquor. Is he really that naive...?

"...I came to see you this time to ask if you have any news about Orochimaru. As you know, we left the group, but we still have to make a living. I plan to continue cooperating with Orochimaru, but he has disappeared since he left the Land of Rain. I think you must know where he is."

Kakuzu is not interested in anything but money, and after drinking a glass of wine, he got straight to the point.

"I see... Orochimaru is currently conducting a very important experiment, which may take a few days. How about this, you guys stay in Konoha for a few days, and once Orochimaru is done, I'll take you to see him. Oh, by the way, there's another person you know who's also in Konoha. I'll take you to meet him later."

Shanks understood. He knew it. Why would Kakuzu come to Konoha to find him for no reason? Hashirama Senju had left a deep psychological scar on Kakuzu.

"Acquaintances? What acquaintances do we have? Apart from Kisame and Orochimaru, everyone else is dead. We don't even know where that Kisame guy went."

"I won't die," Hidan said with a touch of sadness. He had spent the most time with those people since his debut, and they had developed some feelings for each other.

"The little scorpion is in Konoha, and I've fattened it up nicely..."

Shanks said.

"Scorpion? It's still alive?"

Kakuzu and Hidan stared wide-eyed. When Deidara returned alone, they both thought Sasori was dead. Although Tobi couldn't find Sasori's body, he found a pair of limbs and a mangled Hiruko. Pain, who knew that Sasori had turned himself into a wooden doll, concluded that Sasori was dead. Unexpectedly, he was still alive and well in Konoha.

"Haha, what a coincidence! I was originally planning to go to the Land of Wind to try my luck, but I ran into Aunt Chiyo and the others looking like they were in a hurry. Out of curiosity, I followed them to take a look, and that's how I met Little Scorpion. He was about to commit suicide to atone for his sins, but luckily I showed up and he didn't. To prevent him from committing suicide, I took him back to Konoha. Sigh! I'm such a good person."

Shanks looked up at the sky at a 45-degree angle and downed a glass of wine.

After the three drank until late at night, Shanks took the other two to the Red Bronze Ward, one of the Ten Holy Lands. He handed a bewildered Hidan to a plump woman, whispered a few words in her ear, and made a "ten" gesture before Shanks and Kakuzu left. Kakuzu didn't have this hobby; he thought about how his younger brother had followed him for years, and he only now realized there were many things his brother hadn't experienced, which he felt somewhat guilty about…

.......

"Although it's the first time, young people should still exercise some restraint."

The next day, when Shanks and Kakuzu went to pick up Hidan, they saw Hidan with dark circles under his eyes, a pale face, and unsteady steps appear at the door. Shanks patted Hidan on the shoulder and said...

These chubby ladies are too fierce! Who said Hidan wouldn't die? Looking at him like this, Shanks probably only needs one more night, and even the Jashin wouldn't be able to protect him...

"...How...how scary! You old bastard! Are you deliberately messing with me?"

Hidan didn't answer Shanks' question. Recalling the events of last night sent chills down his spine. He felt like a lamb entering a pack of wolves, passively reacting the entire time. Faced with a group of over 200-pound women, Hidan had no choice but to yield to them in self-defense. If it weren't for his extraordinary talent, he probably wouldn't be alive today...

"How could that be? You're my customer. These girls are the most expensive in the entire Red Bronx district. Maybe he's just excited because he rarely gets such a big deal..."

Shanks said.

"These fat women are asking for more money?"

Hidan, who couldn't die, was stunned. He vowed never to come again; it was too terrifying.

"In Konoha, plumpness is considered beautiful, and the fatter a person is, the more fortunate they are. You really don't know what's good for you."

Shanks gave him a disdainful look.

"...Let's go."

Kakuzu looked helplessly at his overindulged underling. "Who told you to be so foul-mouthed? You called him ugly in front of this guy. Don't you know he holds a grudge?"

.........

"Holy crap! Brother Scorpion! What happened to you?"

Shanks led the two to Sasori's luxurious toy house. Hidan saw a giant gourd without arms or legs. If it weren't for his handsome face, he wouldn't have recognized him. Was this really the top puppeteer Sasori of the Red Sand? How did he turn into a gourd?

"How was it? My skills weren't bad, were they?"

Shanks said smugly, "Last time, Scorpion dared to make sarcastic remarks from the side. The cannon's process is too complicated for Shanks to make, but making a Calabash Brother is still very easy. Just take off his hands and feet, get a big wooden hoop, dig a hole in it, stuff his body in, leaving only his head sticking out, and you're done. It's a perfect masterpiece."

"Damn old bastard!"

After a brief moment of surprise upon seeing Kakuzu and Hidan, Little Scorpion roared murderously at Shanks, "That despicable old bastard!"

"This is your punishment for talking nonsense. Don't think that just because you're handsome and have Karin protecting you, you can do whatever you want. Besides, you're quite cute like this. If you dare to talk nonsense again, I'll turn you into a woman. With your pretty face, you'll definitely be even more charming. Want to try?"

Shanks tapped him on the head.

"........."

Hidan looked at the little scorpion with pity. The mighty Sasori of the Red Sand had fallen into this guy's hands; what a miserable fate.

797. Obito got beaten up again.

"Why are you here?"

Little Scorpion no longer paid any attention to Shanks. This Calabash Brother's body was no match for him. He asked Kakuzu and Hidan, "Pain just died in Konoha a couple of days ago, and you two dare to show up in Konoha and hang out with that old bastard. You're tired of living."

"We came here to find Orochimaru and wanted to cooperate with him. Pain is dead, and that jerk Tobi wanted to be the boss, so we thought it was pointless and left the group."

Hidan said.

"Ah Fei... this person is not simple."