My mind is so confused today, I will continue writing tomorrow

June 4th, cloudy.

I like Alan.

In today's math class, when I was talking to Alice about how to divide 1 into 2, I thought of Teacher Luo Qixi.

Then, this idea came to my mind naturally.

All the unclear feelings became clear, why I always wanted to look at Alan, why I always had a strange feeling every time the teacher was mentioned.

Because I envy the teacher.

The teacher and Alan are both excellent people.

He should belong to the teacher.

He is not half of me.

Lady Hilda invited me into her bedroom.

She seemed to realize that Alan was her child. In a panic, I chose to help him hide it according to Alan's behavior.

In the afternoon, there were some problems in the competition between Allen and Gileno.

A little worried about him.

He had been in a bad mood for the past two days since he saw Mrs. Hilda.

Should I 'protect' him without his permission? He obviously avoids Lady Hilda. Is this really protection? Or is it just self-righteous kindness?

Allen's swordsmanship has declined.

Rudy also realized that his mood was not right.

I chose to believe Alan.

I have already distrusted him twice, and I don't want it to happen a third time

June 5th, cloudy.

Alan and Alice started skipping classes. I've seen Alan less and less recently.

Lady Hilda invited me to have tea with her again today.

She also wanted to see Alan.

I want to too.

He is not half of me.

January 5. Sunny.

Mrs. Hilda is very gentle and kind.

She also misses her children very much, and I don't think this should be the case.

So I invited her to see the place where Alan and Alice practiced sword fighting.

Then, I saw Alan, too.

January 5. Sunny.

I did a despicable thing.

At my suggestion, Lady Hilda set up a tea room upstairs.

In fact, he noticed that Mrs. Hilda missed her children and came to help her.

But that’s only part of the story.

More than anything, I also wanted to see more of Alan.

So I understand Lady Hilda.

I understand her sadness.

But, fortunately, I can finally see Alan more every day.

Before the teacher comes back or so.

Before Alan went to find the teacher.

I think

Look at him some more.

July 7. Overcast.

Lady Hilda was in tears today.

There was some joy and some sadness in her eyes.

I'm just sad.

Allen's condition did not improve.

Worry about him.

July 8. Overcast.

He is not half of me.

Nov. 9. rain.

I cried again today.

Lady Hilda looked at me and smiled.

The lady has some bad intentions.

Allen's condition is still not good.

Still worried about him.

Maybe I should start taking action.

For Alan.

And for Lady Hilda too!

January 10. Sunny.

Rudy and I came up with an idea that we hope will work.

October 10. Snow. (Blurred, water-stained, diary wrinkled)

Why? I have made up my mind this time and I am working hard.

Why do you just mess things up?

Sylphy. So useless.

Lady Hilda and Lord Philip were arguing, and the lady had no intention of recognizing Alan.

She was even sadder.

I'm so useless

Who can help me?

teacher

Help.

Alan, the person he needs is you.

-

November 11. Snow.

Lady Hilda stayed indoors.

I'm so useless

November 11. Snow.

Mrs Hilda is ill.

Blame it on me (blur)

November 11. Snow.

Heart disease?

January 1. Sunny.

Finally, today Mrs. Hilda is feeling a little better.

Blame me

November 1. Snow.

Alan had been looking gloomy lately when he visited Mrs. Hilda, and he was worried about her.

sorry.

I couldn't help.

November 1. Snow.

Lately Lady Hilda has been trying to comfort everyone with a smile.

But I could see that she was just forcing a smile.

She didn't want Alan to worry about her all the time.

February 1. Wind.

I've been self-destructing lately

This cannot go on.

I promised to protect Alan.

Lady Hilda was also working hard.

February 1. Wind.

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