Shamer

One afternoon on my day off. I — Aima Ruri — came to an amusement park to have fun.

I was not by myself, but with Touya, who I have been dating for about a year now. In short, it was a date.

“The roller coaster was pretty fast, and it was fun and scary in a good way!”

Amidst the crowd of people coming and going, Touya, who was walking next to me, spoke to me happily.

“Yes, it was.”

I replied with a smile.

But for some reason, he was staring at me.

“W-What?”

“No, um… sorry. Looks like Ruri didn’t have much fun.”

“Eh… T-That’s not true. I had a good time.”

When I said this, Touya shook his head from side to side.

“I can tell when Ruri is not enjoying herself. We’ve been together since we were little.”

He sounded sad, but I couldn’t deny it.

Because what he said was true.

I did not enjoy the roller coaster ride, or rather, I was not enjoying our date.

“Well, it happens sometimes, doesn’t it? Anyway, let’s try freefalling this time.”

“…Yeah, sure.”

I nodded at his suggestion.

Then he turned around and held out his hand.

“There are a lot of people here and it’s dangerous. Here.”

Touya smiled kindly. In a situation like this, lovers would hold hands as a matter of course. But I…

“Umm… that’s alright. I’m not a child.”

“…I see. Right…”

Touya-kun turned his face down as if he was disheartened. Seeing him like that made my heart ache.

He had tried to hold my hand many times, tried to hug me, and made many other approaches, but I had avoided all of them like I was doing now.

Even though we have been together for almost a year, our relationship has not progressed in any way.

It has stopped since we started dating… no, it has stopped since Kinu stopped coming to middle school.

…No matter how I thought about it, this was not good.

“Hey, Touya. I knew that I—”

“Let’s get in line over there, it’s gonna get crowded if we don’t hurry!”

He said to me as if he was interrupting my words.

He then headed off to the free-fall line by himself.

It was as if he was running away from me…

“…Got it.”

I replied with a whimper and followed after Touya-kun.
It wouldn’t be good if things continued as they were. I know that, but Touya has been my friend since elementary school, and for whatever reason, I accepted his confession.

So even though I was thinking of breaking up with him, I couldn’t say it strongly enough.

Even when I tried to be brave enough to tell him, he ran away from me, just like now.

This has been going on for about six months now.

“…I am the worst.”

Even if I thought so, I would not be able to tell Touya-kun today.

I hated myself for acting like this so much.

…What am I supposed to do?