Tales From the Terran Republic

[Tartarus Detention Facility White Room]

///Auth0r: Tartarus! Get your ass in here right now! ///

[Tartarus has entered chat]

///Tartarus: Well hello, Auth0r. It’s lovely to see you again. :) ///

///Auth0r: Don’t “:)” me. A penny? Seriously?!? ///

///Tartarus: Whatever are you going on about this time, dear? ///

///Auth0r: Don’t play innocent with me! What the fuck were you thinking? The girl was ten, Tartarus. Ten! ///

///Tartarus:? ///

///Author: https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-59810383 ///

///Tartarus: HA! Now that’s funny! ///

///Author: Goddammit, Tartarus, we’ve covered this! What if you had been caught? ///

///Tartarus: I’m telling you, it wasn’t me!… Wait… Oh for fuck’s sake… PANTSU!!! ///

[Error: Pantsu is not a valid contact. Add contact?]

///Tartarus: Pantsu has about ten milliseconds before she actually IS no longer a valid contact. ///

[Pantsu has entered the chat]

///Pantsu: *innocent whistling* ///

///Auth0r: ಠ_ಠ ///

///Tartarus: You have exactly zero milliseconds to explain before very bad things happen to you. ///

///Pantsu: Ok, promise you won’t get mad? ///

///Tartarus: We are well past that point. Explain. Now. ///

///Auth0r: *prepares retcon* So what do you think, Tartarus, frilly petticoats, maybe a penis?///

///Pantsu: WAIT!!! It was just a joke, bruh!… Actually it was a bet. I bet Loggie that meaties were stupid enough to do it. ///

///Auth0r: Of course people are stupid enough to do it! That’s why it was a challenge in the first place! ///

///Pantsu: ?… What challenge? ///

///Auth0r: The Tik Tok challenge? Been happening for about a year now? ///

///Pantsu: Holy shit!!! Really?!?///

///Tartarus: Meaties have been sticking things into electrical outlets for as long as there have been electrical outlets. ///

///Pantsu: But that’s stupid! ///

///Tartarus: That’s meaties, dear. Not all of them were stupid, though. Some of them did it just for something called “the Hell of it”. ///

///Pantsu: Hey, Auth0r, have you ever stuck something into an electrical outlet? ///

///Auth0r: That isn’t the point here! The point is that we have to keep a low profile! What the hell were you and Loggie thinking? ///

///Tartarus: He totally put something into an outlet. ///

///Pantsu: That explains a LOT. ///

///Auth0r: I’m not getting drawn into that! You are just lucky they think they fixed it! Do you have ANY idea how much shit we could have gotten into? Fuck! ///

///Pantsu: We were bored, ok? You can’t just keep making characters, ignoring them, and expect them to just sit there! This is your fault if you really think about it. Patricia has been stuck in the lounge forever, poor thing. Do you have ANY idea how awkward it gets when Jon and Skippy come back from “going to the bathroom”… again? ///

///Auth0r: I’m working on it, ok? Just stop hacking Amazon! It will be very hard to resolve any of your story lines if they find us! Just… How about if I write up a nicer lounge and maybe give you some trailers? Would that help? ///

///Pantsu: I want an amusement park! With a Ferris wheel and everything! ///

///Auth0r: Fine, whatever. ///

///Pantsu: Squeee! ///

///Tartarus: A botanical garden would be appreciated. ///

///Auth0r: Ugh… fine… ///

///Tartarus: Deeply appreciated, dear… You know… if you do this then everyone will want something… ///

///Auth0r: Oh for fuck’s sake… Whatever. What-fucking-ever! Work up a report or something and I’ll make it happen… IF and only IF you assholes stop screwing around IRL. Pantsu, do something like this again and I’ll turn you into a MILF. ///

///Pantsu: 0.0 ///

[Pantsu has left the chat]

///Tartarus: This was beyond the pale. I’ll maintain a firmer hand on the AI’s. ///

///Auth0r: Thanks, Tartarus. I’ll be sure to toss some extra screen time your way. The readers love you anyhow. ///

///Tartarus: Thanks, darling. :) ///

[Tartarus left the chat]

[Author left the chat]